Finding a core issue driving OCD

By Figen Genco, BA

Jane called to make an appointment for EFT.  She said she had OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)and she explained that her family doctor recommended that she find an EFT Practitioner for her challenges.  I was happily surprised to hear that she was referred by a medical doctor.  

When I went to see her, Jane started by telling me that she had an affair and that she has these extra 5 pounds she needs to lose.  She added that she looked really fat and because of those extra 5 pounds she could not let her children get close to her.  This was her current OCD behavior - compulsively dwelling on her unwanted weight. She was nearly in tears when she said the word ‘fat’ and you could see the disgust in her eyes.  (She is 6 foot 2 and weighs 135 lbs)

I started by asking her when her OCD behaviors started.  She said she was about 7 years old, and whenever something nice happened she went to the bathroom and turned the lights on and off several times so that she can prevent something bad happening.  

I asked her if she knew why she did that, she could not remember.  So we tapped for: Even though I don’t remember why I started doing my rituals when I was about 7 with lights whenever something nice happened, I deeply and completely accept myself.

At this point I asked her if the sentence was true for her, and she said she has difficulty with the accepting part. So we changed that part of the sentences to … I am open to the possibility of accepting...  Purposefully, I do not ask my clients before we say the sentence if they can accept themselves because I don’t want them start questioning it if they are OK with themselves.  It always comes up if there is an acceptance related difficulty anyway.

After the first round with that setup sentence, she started telling me about her affair.  I asked her if her husband knew and she said, yes.  Then I asked her if he forgave her, and she said yes.  I felt anger and resentment in her voice, so I noted it down on my notepad.  I asked if she has forgiven herself.  She said no and we worked on that with the set up phrase, Even though I haven’t forgiven myself for this affair, I am open to the possibility of deeply and completely accepting myself.  I will consider loving and forgiving myself for this affair.  I will consider loving and forgiving anyone else that might have caused me having this affair.

We worked on different aspects of this affair in the above manner, about the husband, about the lover, and about herself.  While tapping on husband-related emotions, we uncovered an aspect about her mother.  She said her mother is a woman who is never happy and satisfied with her life.  She has always driven Jane’s father for more money, better jobs, and bigger houses.  And Jane always felt nothing was good enough for her mother.  And she realized that she had been doing the same to her husband.  So, we tapped on several things related to this subject.

She also realized that she felt she wasn’t good enough for her husband, who is a very self-sufficient and loving person.  So she found this lover who she needed to take care of, and who consistently told her that she was fat, and that he would leave her.  This I noted as self-punishment.

After several rounds with different set up phrases, she repeated her lover’s name, and she had a puzzled look in her face.  She said she doesn’t see his face anymore, she just sees the letters of his name but it’s very foggy.  So, I told her to put a frame around the letters (NLP technique) and start going away from it until it disappears - while playing a happy goodbye song at the background.  Then, I led her to close her eyes and thank him and say goodbye, and good luck!

We had some water and then she started telling me that last Christmas she was so happy with her family - parents live close by - she wanted that to last forever, but…  In the middle of her sentence she started to remember!  While I asked the appropriate questions and guided, and tapped on her, she remembered her story!

When she was 7 years old, they lived in a home that she loved.  They had a great Christmas, and then she got really sick.  They had to take her to the hospital.  She was in the hospital for 3 months.  And after that they had to move from the house which she really loved and everyone in the family loved.

She associated a good event followed by a something bad happening to her, followed by her causing everyone to lose something they loved.  So, that was when she started her ritual with the lights to prevent these kinds of happenings … fear, guilt, undeserving feeling, self-punishment, and anxiety.

We tapped and tapped.  We radiated love to the husband, to the mother and to little Jane.  We were almost at the end of my two-hour session with her, and never once did I address the weight issue.  It was time!  I told her to repeat this sentence “I am fat.”  She said it very flatly and added, “Oh, I can always exercise and get rid of those pounds.  I can’t wait for my kids to come home; I can’t wait to hug them.  I can’t believe I wasted all this time.”  So we tapped on, "Even though, I wasted some time…"

Figen Genco, BA.

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