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Deepak Chopra, MD
"EFT offers great healing benefits."
Emotional Freedom Techniques® Where emotional relief brings physical health
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A client resolves lifelong anger on her own
Hi Everyone,
This thoughtful article by Mair Llewellyn-Edwards of the UK illustrates a client's choice to use EFT for both herself and her family for long standing anger issues. The client's Grandmother sums it up by saying, “I now no longer blame others or myself, tapping has let me let go”.
Please note the client's use of our "Borrowing Benefits" technique as well as a few of my own comments.
Hugs, Gary
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Following her boyfriend's recommendation, “Susan” came to me 5 months ago for help with anger management. The boyfriend, “Carl”, had used EFT successfully twelve months earlier for a flying phobia.
I am always a little cautious working with a client who is sent by someone else because I want it to be their decision. However, I need not have worried about Susan she was very motivated to come. It was obvious that she had thought long and hard about working on this problem.
Right from the onset of meeting her, I knew this meeting was different. Here was a very determined person wanting to sort out an anger problem that had plagued her for years. As a teenager it had often gotten her into problems at school as well as socially.
GC COMMENT: Anger is also a major cause of our physical ailments. It is well known that our emotions trigger a wide variety of chemical changes in our bodies and our "anger chemicals" can be particularly devastating. Some of our angers appear isolated from other causes and are easily addressed with EFT. Others go back to childhood issues and have many aspects. They too can be handled by EFT but often require several EFT applications/sessions to "get it all." In "Susan's" example she was able to substantially reduce the problem by diligently applying EFT to herself over a two month period.
MAIR CONTINUES: It appears that this angry streak ran right through her whole family. Grandma was renowned for it and her mother exhibited obvious signs of it. When I asked a little more about family history I also found that great grandma was a powerful force to be reckoned with too! As a result, everyone told Susan that this anger was part of her personality--in her genes. While she questioned this "writing on her walls", she was concerned about her children "inheriting" this family anger streak.
GC COMMENT: While I've never seen evidence that anger is inherited "through the genes" it can certainly be transmitted through family interactions. In fact, it is quite common for families to share certain beliefs (religious, political, etc.) as well as attitudes, prejudices and the like. Since experienced EFT'ers repeatedly see the link between our emotions and our physical ailments we must wonder if the real cause of "inherited" diseases isn't in the family emotions that get passed down through the generations--rather than "through the genes."
MAIR CONTINUES: I found it fascinating to observe Susan's quest for freedom. She wanted to learn how I used this EFT so she could apply it to herself and thus be in charge of her own healing. This is the first time in my life as a therapist that this has happened so obviously. It is also the first time it has been possible to give a client such a comprehensive tool to help themselves.
We began with muscle testing, so that she may learn to self test. (I had used a muscle test on Carl to reassure him he was OK to fly at the completion of therapy). Learning to muscle test was helpful for Susan too. We used it whilst we were together and she knew that it would give her the necessary feedback when working on her own. With confidence in her self-testing we were able to use muscle testing on many statements. Susan thought of two such statements that confirmed her new found belief were - “I am now ready to work on this anger problem” and “I can do it myself with EFT”.
GC COMMENT: Some practitioners enjoy muscle testing and find it quite helpful within their own procedures. However, muscle testing is an art and very few become as proficient at it as Mair. Since EFT was designed to achieve results without it, the practitioner has a choice as to the use of muscle testing.
MAIR CONTINUES: I then taught her EFT. When she left I gave her a copy of Gary’s early introductory video and Tam's (my husband's) book “How to Heal Yourself and Others with Meridian Therapies”. She made no further appointment but said she would be in touch.
Two months ago she rang me and asked if I would come to meet her family. I did, of course, and learned from her family that there had been a profound transformation in Susan’s life. As a small child, she had been sexually abused--an obvious source for her anger. Whilst listening to Gary’s early introductory video tape, she had tapped along with Veronica (the lady who was raped by her father). As Susan tapped herself, she healed just as Veronica had healed. Through this simple procedure she had received wonderful results. She reported that following this experience she had frequently used EFT. Whenever she noticed any negative charge on any feelings she tapped them away.
GC COMMENT: Here is another attractive use of the "Borrowing Benefits" technique. The full session with Veronica can be seen on Tape 2 of Part 1 of the EFT Course.
MAIR CONTINUES: Susan’s insight through muscle testing and the EFT routine had progressively cleared these blockages. Two months of working with EFT had freed her of a lifetime of anger and blame.
Susan reported that, since using EFT she had not had any recurrence of the anger. She had taught EFT to her family so they could reduce their own anger. I think her healing had been dramatically enhanced by sharing what she had learned in that the experience of facilitating the healing with her Mum and Grandma had added to her own personal liberation. The family meeting I attended revealed the extent of the healing in her small nucleus of the world. Her mother and grandmother were both going through ongoing healing with their daughter and granddaughter. Grandma summed up the change experienced in her own life with the following comment. “I now no longer blame others or myself, tapping has let me let go”.
This story illustrates that, given the tools of healing, others can freely heal themselves and help others. This ensures that EFT can be truly accessible to everyone.
Mair Llewellyn-Edwards
