What stops clients from pursuing their dreams?

By Mair Llewellyn

In this article we will be considering why clients give up on their dreams and stop using EFT. This can happen, even when EFT has worked well for them in the past.

At the beginning of this article I consider a variety of emotions that may create a stuck state in clients. I believe that all of these emotions are factors that hinder them from pursuing their dreams.

Later in this article I discuss some of the ways in which I help clients to keep the vision of their dream bright. These strategies are flexible to the clients' needs and ever changing. My aim is to connect clients to their unlimited potential.

I have grouped together feelings that can hinder development. These are placed under five emotional headings. The background of these emotions come from our experiences of life. These experiences have been written on the walls of our minds. In expanding these I have indicated why an emotion may show up. I also consider how this emotion could affect our clients' healing and success.

Fear - This feeling may be related to fear of failure as well as the fear of success. The client who exhibits fear will have had times of trauma or insecurity. When we are fearful we cling to what or who we know and may avoid change. This stops us exploring other rooms in the Palace of Possibilities.

Anger - This feeling frequently relates to being hurt, humiliated or let down. When we are experiencing this emotion it can be difficult for us to trust others and ourselves. Anger and frustration tend to go together and may mean a client would not give enough time, patience and persistence for EFT to work for them. When a client experiences life in this way it may be hard to trust the therapy, or the therapist.

Resentment - Underneath this emotion is a feeling of pointlessness, or learned helplessness. Disappointment can be easily felt. If we have learned to experience resentment, it affects our trust and our ability to try again when things do not work the first time. This may have an impact on the benefit received from therapy.

Guilt - Can create the belief that we do not deserve or are not worthy of freedom or healing from past issues or mistakes. Guilty feelings can stop us taking or receiving support or love. We may consistently blame ourselves or feel things are our fault. A client with these emotions may possibly feel that the therapy will not work or is not working and that it is all their fault

Sadness - Makes it hard to see possibilities. Experiencing an all pervading feeling of being under a black cloud makes us cautious to hope something will help. Clients who have experienced a lot of sadness cannot risk the chance of being let down yet again. This has obvious implications to personal peace and freedom.

In all cases these emotions, and the underlying causes of them, are inextricably linked. I have separated them artificially to illustrate some of the responses and reactions that seem to go with these emotions. Lack of self-belief, low self esteem or not really loving and respecting ourselves (and thereby others), sums up why we may stay stuck.

A therapist is someone who can point to a better dream or reality. A therapist shines a light in a dark place or onto a path where a client wishes to go. The combination of support, guidance and unconditional positive regard can facilitate a client to love and trust again or to discover love and trust for the very first time.

The following part of this article describes some of the ways that I work which appear to help in healing, as well as encouraging a client to develop personal freedom and peace of mind.

Whatever problem my clients bring to me, I am always interested to learn just when they begun to feel this way. I believe that the timeline of their problem is important. I also want to know whether it happened overnight or slowly over a period of time.

Defining the problem that they are experiencing is very important so that we know we are both discussing the same thing. Obtaining examples of what is happening in their life is crucial. This could be the physical and emotional symptoms or spiritual manifestations. Discovering where your client would like to be at the end of therapy or what they are hoping to achieve is crucial to progress and continuing development. Usually in the first session I ask my client to write a wish list of what they want to move towards. Creating dreams, a vision or good feelings for where they want to be gives us clearer directions. Gary often discusses tailenders for dreams or affirmations and these will possibly be the opposite condition to what the client is wanting. Tailenders could be what clients want to move away from.

I often suggest that they buy a small notebook for this homework. I recommend that they use the front of the book to write down or sketch their wishes and dreams. The back of the book is a place where they write down feelings or reactions that they want to move away from or let go of. Many of my clients also use the middle of their book to write down what they appreciate, celebrate and where they experience a state of gratitude in their day to day life. Clients report that this book is a continual source of inspiration as well as an excellent focus. They write down in the front of the book what they want even if they don't know quite how they are going to get there.

Their book is for them alone. I never read it unless they want me to. Clients bring examples from their book that they want to share with me. These examples are kept with their notes. We use these jottings to help link what is happening in the real world to their therapy session. I have noticed that the clients who consistently use their book frequently manifest their dreams. They report that the process of doing this is invaluable to them.

The back of the book is done in a special chair. This place is a place which connects to their zzt's. This place is where they write about any disruptions they notice. They go there for just a few moments each morning so that being in that place is like having a mental shampoo before their day begins. This is the time they review what has been troubling them in the last twenty four hours and they do some EFT on these worries. This is an excellent start to their day.

Whilst working with clients, they develop and usually maintain this helpful habit. They are frequently surprised at how well it works and I hear years later that they continue to use this method as a simple but effective way of life. Those who momentarily loose their way report that returning to this routine generates good feelings again. Re-establishing their wish list clarifies their focus and energises them.

The front of the book is a really magical method to enlist the help of EFT too. Using it in this way is about aiming EFT at the future. Similar to Gary's suggestion of using EFT with children by talking and tapping at the end of their day. It is truly excellent and inspirational. Encouraging clients to tap whilst they dream or talk about their wish list is ideal. When they tap and are connecting to great feeling this creates immense benefits. Tapping in this way helps to erase the tailenders even if we or they do not know what these are. This means that their dreams have a clear channel for manifestation.

Helping clients maintain their dreams is an ongoing process'. As human beings, personal development and personal peace is work in progress. Developing a structured approach such as the Personal Peace Procedure or the book work idea that I use with my clients are some of the ways that help to maintain their focus and direct their minds in a positive way towards manifesting their dreams.

Mair Llewellyn EFT Master and Trainer