John was paralyzed with fear over his wife's cancer

By Nancy A. Morris, EFT-ADV

John called me and said that he was at a loss as to what to do with himself.  His wife was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer to her spine and had major surgery to remove the tumors.  She’s been on various drugs since then to stop the cancer from spreading. 

John said her latest blood tests and tumor markers showed that it is not stopped, the numbers are consistently climbing and she is experiencing pain in her bones.  He’s worried, obviously, and described himself as feeling anxious and hyper vigilant.  John said he felt unable to function in his day-to-day life; that he felt paralyzed with fear and worry.

I told John to tap along with me and listen to what I was saying and repeat it, but that he should adjust the words so that they were most like his own “internal dialogue.”  John said his fear and worry was at a 9 or 10 on a scale of 0 to 10.  We tapped:

Even though I’m scared to death…

Even though I’m really, really afraid…

Even though I’m scared shitless…

We tapped through a few rounds just to settle him down.  I explained that it made sense that he would be worried and afraid and that would most likely not go away (his wife was scheduled for more tests in the next week).  But EFT could help with the excess emotion that he was complaining about – the feeling of being paralyzed, the paranoia (he’d been watching her so carefully looking for signs of how she was doing).

I asked him to say what he was afraid of and he bravely replied, “I’m afraid Annie’s going to die.”  I asked him where he felt the fear and it was in his stomach, deep inside, a big, hard, dark knot.  The intensity of the knot was a 10 on a scale of 0 to 10.

We began tapping on the “fear knot” inside of him with reminder phrases like This fear … this anxiety … this worry … this knot in my stomach … I’m really afraid … I feel paralyzed by this fear. With several separate rounds of tapping we brought the knot from a level of intensity of 10 down to a 6 out of 10.

Then we talked about what he wanted.  John wanted 30 more years with Annie; he said he wanted more time to do things with her, to do things for her, to enjoy their retirement years together.  Again I asked about the knot and he said it was still at a 6 out of 10.  We tapped more on this fear, this knot, this anxiety until it came down to about a 3 to 4 out of 10.

Then I told him we’d do a really long rambling setup and to just keep tapping on the KC point until I directed him to move to the other points.  It went like this:

Even though I’m scared shitless that Annie may die…  

Even though I’m really afraid that we won’t have 30 years together … we probably won’t have 30 years together since we’re both 60 … who knows how long we’ll have (he agreed). 

Even though I’m really afraid and it’s making me paralyzed, I really want to do more things with Annie … I want to do more things for Annie … I want us to have fun together, all this worry and fear is keeping me from enjoying her … from enjoying my life … I’m wasting the precious moments that are left, at 60 we’re never sure how many moments are left (John agreed wholeheartedly) and I’m wasting them. 

This stupid fear is keeping me from being the man she needs right now, I want to enjoy our time together now … I don’t want to waste another moment on this stupid excess fear that paralyzes me… 

Then we tapped several rounds on the points with reminder phrases from the long setup above.  John’s level of intensity was down to a 1 out of 10.  We had only a few minutes left.  I told him we’d do a Choices statement for him and suggested, I choose to feel relaxed and grounded and to enjoy every minute I have.  He said that sounded wonderful.  So we tapped through this several times.  I asked John his level of intensity and he said it was a zero.

What a gift EFT is … to be able to help someone get relief from that awful gnawing fear.  I suggested that he could tap on himself whenever he felt anxiety building.

About five days later I received the following email from John:  “Words are not adequate to express my thanks for our recent “tapping” session and the profoundly successful results it generated for me.  Our tapping session restored a sense of peace and calm in me.  I am still feeling calm and in charge, and looking forward to more sessions together.  Also, I want to get Annie involved, since her emotions are a tangled bundle of fear and worry as well and I’m sure tapping will bring her great benefit too.”

Note:  The results of Annie’s scans showed that “everything is stable”.  Tapping might help keep it that way.