Teamwork gets to core issue for cancer patient

By Nancy A. Morris, EFT-ADV

Randy has had lymphoma for the past six years; been through several rounds of chemo, and finally a year ago went through the ordeal of a bone marrow transplant.  Nine months after the transplant his scans and blood tests looked good.  Just last week he started feeling pain and discomfort in his right groin and leg … exactly where he first felt symptoms six years ago!  He said he was worried and anxious about this.

When Randy arrived, I explained that EFT is teamwork; we would figure out together what to work on and in order for us to know if it was really working, we’d use the 0-10 level of intensity scale.  I knew that serious illnesses, like cancer, often involve psychological reversal and wondered if we’d be doing collarbone breathing eventually.  I also explained that we might be saying some of the phrases loudly, maybe even shouting and he was fine with this.

We talked about the specifics of the pain, how it felt and where exactly.  I just encouraged Randy to talk more, NOT pointing him in the direction of emotions.  He said he felt hyper vigilant about his aches and pains.  We tapped on: Even though I’m hyper vigilant… for one full round.  His intensity level went down a little, and we talked more.

He was very open about his fear, so we tapped on: Even though this may mean my cancer is back… When I asked how he was doing, he said the level of intensity had again gone down a little, but he felt like he was skirting some bigger issue.  (At this point, I had a hard time keeping MY agenda out of the way and letting him find what was going on.)  He was brave and very soon said he was afraid of dying.  We tapped on: Even though I’m afraid of dying…

We did a full set on this including the 9 gamut.  His level of intensity went down about two points and he started to show deep emotion.  I asked what else was there?  (I asked a very general question purposely; I just stayed very present with Randy and remembered Gary’s words to let the process work THROUGH me.)

He very quickly came up with his worry, anxiety and fear was around losing his young daughter, an only child (Randy is in his late 50’s), and the light of his life.  Randy got his initial diagnosis on her first birthday.  We tapped on: Fear of losing Rachael (his words) He started at an intensity level of 10 and after one round went down to a 6 out of 10.  After another round with the same phrase and his level of intensity went down to a 6 … then a 2 … then 0. He immediately led us onto:  Fear of Rachael forgetting me This too started at a level of intensity of 10 out of 10, then down to 4, then 0.  We were often shouting the setup phrase by the time we got to the third repetition.

Randy then admitted he felt angry at Rachael because he might not matter enough to her that she would remember him.  We tapped on: Even though I’m angry at Rachael because I don’t matter to her as much as I want to and this keeps me from loving her unconditionally (one of the extended phrases that sometimes comes up because these were his words as they came out). 

Before we could assess the intensity change, Randy offered “I’m sad that this thing is coming between us and I’m holding back from her.”  We then did a round on: Even though I’m sad that this thing is coming between us...  This started at a very big 10 out of 10 and went down to a 2 after one round and then down to 0.

Randy was so easy to work with; he knew how to look at the hard stuff and be honest with himself (and me).  So brave.  He said he realized he was holding back from his daughter and that felt very painful so we tapped on:

Even though I’m sad I’m holding back my love from Rachael…

Even though I’m sad I’m holding back my love from Rachael, I love and forgive myself.

Even though I’m sad I’m holding back my love from Rachael, I love and forgive Rachael, she’s only a little girl.  (Randy chuckled at this point AND he said it again two more times without my suggesting it.)

Randy “got it” and he said that now the IDEA of holding back is sad but, “Now that I’m clear about what’s going on, I feel clear about what I can do. I’m amazed at how great this worked; I felt so tense and constricted (touches his heart area) about my fear of the cancer returning, but now I see what’s really behind it.  I still have the idea of all these things (cancer, dying, losing Rachael) but the intensity is gone.”  (This may not be verbatim, but it’s very close).

What a privilege to be included so deeply in someone’s process and what a gift EFT is.  I’ve been a Grief Counselor for nearly 7 years and, yes, I could have been a good listener for Randy and his issues, but EFT is what helped him find his own answers and relief in an hour!  

Randy called me the next day and reported that he was walking better, meaning that the presumed cancer symptom faded.  We don't know at this early stage whether we need to concern ourselves with cancer.  But relieving important emotional issues such as this is certainly a step in the right direction.

Love and a warm hug from Nancy Morris, EFT-ADV