Tips to consider when you have had "incomplete success" with an EFT client

By Dr. Aditi Salhotra CHt

Hi Gary,

If you feel you have had ‘incomplete success’ with a client, friend or family member you hoped to help heal, this article is for you.  I reflected on some experiences and came up with a way that worked.  Hope it helps you too.  I have used the word client, but it could be your friend, spouse, child or anyone you hoped to help with EFT.  Also I’ve used the word therapist which refers to those who are leading the process of tapping.

Here are six possible reasons for incomplete success … or failures:

1) The client is not completely open about their issues, or they’re unable to let it all out because the therapist is of opposite sex and the client has a limiting belief about people of the opposite sex not being able to understand their point of view.  Or it could be something they consider too personal.

2) The client is not doing EFT homework when they need to in order to clear more trees in the forest of their mental issues.

3) The client does not have an open mind to EFT even after it has helped alleviate their issues substantially.

4) The therapist does not understand that healing is a process which takes time, patience and commitment.  Every client is not ready on the first session to make a big breakthrough.  But perhaps they could on a third session and then possibly resolve a core issue.  When they do so, it can suddenly make such a huge shift in their life that they feel light, changed and different and may even make a decision to change major aspects of their life and lifestyle.

5) Therapists may have unusually high standards of success and want all issues to be resolved (perhaps because they see the link between all surface and core issues).  But they have to understand that their client's whole world is changing and shifts must be at the pace the client can handle – so that they can transition to a healthier inner space.  

After all, you cannot play god.  Even if EFT is the best self-help technique ever to be discovered, it can only be offered – the rest is up to the evolution of the client.

They may take some time off and come back, or may take a decision not to pursue therapy. Remember that people generally come for therapy when they are unhappy with their current situation or comfort zone and surprisingly if they are not unhappy enough, they may not be motivated enough!

6) A client's general inability to speak up due to low self-esteem, low self-confidence or standing out issues may be stopping them subconsciously from even knowing their own real thoughts about their core issues – which often are the cause behind slower healing.

What stands out in all these reasons is that the therapist must realize their role is only to offer help with the technique, and remember not to decide for the client if they are willing and ready to make a shift.  Also, a therapist must not identify with their work to the extent that they feel that incomplete success at work is their personal failing.  Even good, trained therapists, and highly qualified healers are not always aware of how they evaluate themselves and we all have been conditioned to do so.

If you feel some of your past cases or experiences bother you, please take some time off and tap for it - take the client's name and do one round, and then tap the karate chop as you speak out what you wished had happened in the session (and do this without logic).  For example, if you wanted their cold to just disappear after an hour of tapping and exploring every possible connection - then just state it.  No one is judging you.

Here is an example of tapping for a perceived failed EFT session with a client:

Karate chop: He just couldn't tell his mother how he felt, even sitting in front of me … I wonder what held him back … it wasn't me but something did and I wish it would have come out. 

I felt upset that I couldn't create an environment of freedom and unconditional positive regard for him to do so (just talk out all your thoughts about your hopes, aspirations, and dreams for that session).

Sore Spot: (3 times) Even though I feel bad (your feeling), I lovingly accept all my efforts as the best I could do.

One round on EFT points – I felt bad … upset … (your feelings).

Eyebrow: I allow myself to grow in appreciation from this experience.

Side of Eye: I allow myself to learn the value of commitment and courage to make a change.

Under Eye: I allow myself to pray for those who haven't found the courage yet.

Under Nose: I allow myself to see the inner strength in all my clients and light up with a smile as they make even small changes.

Chin: I allow myself to see the value of each step which IS a big thing for my clients.

Collarbone: I allow myself to appreciate my efforts and offer gratitude that I am a therapist and I was able to help this person.

Under Arm: I am grateful to see people grow and blossom at their own pace.

Top of Head: I am grateful to see people grow and blossom at their own pace.

If you feel led – repeat the last phrase and any other phrase for 1 - 2 rounds.  It has an amazing effect.

Best Regards,

Dr. Aditi Salhotra CHt (Mumbai, India)