EFT by telephone smoothes out a tense family reunion

By Mark Lawrence

Last Wednesday, my friend Jeannie called. Jeannie lives in Chicago, I live in Northern California. She was a wreck. I asked my usual question in such circumstances: "Ok, am I doing the girl thing and just listening, or the boy thing and trying to solve your problem?" She allowed that she would welcome some input.

The issue was her sister (and children) flying into town for the weekend. Jeannie and her sister have had a seriously strained relationship for years. Jeannie told me her stomach was in knots, and she expected it to stay that way until after the visit.

I asked if she would like to try something quite strange, and promised the chances were good that I could help her settle down. Jeannie had never heard of EFT or any other tapping form. I spent about three minutes telling her where my favorite tapping points were - crown of head, inside eyebrow, temple, under eye, upper lip, lower lip, collarbone, wrist. I gave her no introduction to EFT in terms of energy systems, meridians, nothing. We were going to approach this in a very mechanical fashion.

I asked her for help finding a phrase that made her crazy. First she offered "My sister threw me out of her life and discarded me fifteen years ago." Jeannie reported this was a twelve on a scale of zero to ten. It's my habit to always use an affirmation to reverse any possible psychological reversal, and I like to vary the affirmation using whatever pops up in my intuition.

We started on the karate chop point with "Even though my sister discarded me fifteen years ago, I deeply and completely accept myself," repeated three times. Then a round of tapping. I do not include the gamut point except in cases where I'm struggling to get results. After one round she reported she was an 8. We again did the karate point, this time I included "I forgive and love myself." After three more rounds of EFT, four rounds total, using affirmations against any possible PR each round, she reported she was at 0.

Jeannie still seemed tense. I knew from previous conversations that Jeannie was deeply angered by the fact that her sister had given Ritalin, Prozac, and "every other drug you've ever heard of" to her son for years, then finally a year ago when he was 16 shipped him off to boarding school, where he has been ever since. I asked her if this still provoked a strong reaction. Jeannie offered the words "My sister drugged her son until he couldn't stand it anymore." This was a 9.

Three rounds of tapping later, each round with an affirmation which included "forgive myself," "love myself," "forgive my nephew," Jeannie reported she was done. I felt that she was not, and suggested to her that perhaps she was still about a 1 or 2. Jeannie agreed with this, and one round later we agreed she was at 0.

Jeannie then said "Ok, I feel good now, but how long will this last?" I told her that I expected she has many issues with her sister, and by no means had we addressed them all, but that on these two particular issues I expected she would stay at a 0 forever.

Today, Monday, I sent her an email, "Did you survive your weekend?"

Jeannie responded,

"I not only survived ... But I actually had a nice time. That's right - a NICE TIME. Can you believe it??

First of all, I guess I didn't explain to you that my sister and her family are staying up at the lake place in WI for two weeks. I believe I told you that I am part owner of the cottage - along with my siblings and our 4 cousins. Anyway, I went up there Sat. morning and did not get back here until late last night. Hence the reason why I wasn't around when you called.

Nothing has really changed in terms of the dynamics between my sis and I - everything's still pretty much the same (I didn't expect it to change). What has changed is my mental/emotional state, my attitude towards her. I feel totally different! Where I used to feel lousy about myself and every exchange I had with her took an enormous amount of effort on my part to 'fake' my way thru, I now am able to smile and laugh and totally be myself around her. She is what she is ... and she and I will likely never be close, or anything more than polite strangers. I've known that for a while, but for the first time in forever I'm not carrying the 'baggage' around with me. I've dumped it. My approach towards her is completely different. It's no longer fraught with anxiety!

I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed and non-stressed about a visit by her. Normally my stomach would be in knots and I would be an emotional wreck. I felt totally under control!

I am a believer.

THANK YOU!!!!"