"Helpless to get what I want" - Using intuition to get at important issues

By Christa Swanson

Dear Gary:

I am a new, but very enthusiastic EFT'er. A friend calls me the "Tapping Fool!" (meant as a compliment!) This particular friend, whom I'll call Patty, came by yesterday to visit. After several hours of catching up on our various activities, we were both tired and out of sorts. Naps didn't help. So I suggested that we "tap."

Patty had been having a terrible time dealing with a painful situation that involved a former friend who seemingly was keeping Patty from something that she very much wanted. This situation had been bothering her for several months and nothing that she tried had worked. In fact her attempts at resolving the situation had escalated into several ugly encounters, which left her feeling even worse.

I asked her how upset she was at this and she gave a quick "10!" I asked her to consider her main feeling about the situation. At first she said "helpless." I suggested that it might be "helpless to get what she wanted" and she agreed that that was definitely it. She also said that this was a lifelong problem.

As she tapped on "helpless to get what I want" I got an image of her as a helpless infant in a cradle, unable to get what she wanted. She also seemed very sad as she tapped. I mentioned this and asked her what her main feeling was. She replied that, at that point, it was more sad than helpless. I asked her to rate her sadness on a meter and she said it was a "10."

She did another round, in which she was close to tears. I spoke the words as she tapped, saying "little baby in the cradle," "helpless to get what she wants," "so sad," etc. After a round I asked her what she had experienced and she reported a great pain in her heart, that she realized she'd
had her whole life.

At this point I didn't know if we should focus on the physical heartache or continue with the feeling of sadness. I made a quick decision and went with the sadness, remembering how you dealt with feelings in your videos tapping each one down to a zero. The sadness went way down in intensity. When it was at about a "2" I changed the set up phrase to "Even though I was sometimes sad as a baby when I couldn't get what I wanted, now I'm an adult and I choose to get what I want." She tapped on "I can get what I want" and she brightened up enormously.

She reported that the pain in her heart had disappeared. I had her do another round of "I can get what I want" and at the end, her grin went from one ear to another. She reported that she felt "joy in her throat." She is a singer who has felt blocked in her throat chakra and unable to perform.

I had been tapping along with her and was feeling so much joy myself that I could hardly contain it! I told her to express the feeling in her throat and she let out a series of joyful noises that were part wails and part songs! I was so excited and happy that I got out of my chair and began jumping/dancing around the floor! Let me add here that I am not a spring chick and it's been a long time since I either jumped or danced. The scene continued with her singing and whooping, accompanying my leaping and "dancing." It was, by far, the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I wish you could have been there!

She radiated joy. She had just had her picture taken and said that now she would have to have it retaken to capture her new self!

You'd think I would have stopped there, but not being one to leave well enough alone, I went with another thought. I wondered if perhaps I had aborted her complete healing of sadness by introducing the choice statement prematurely. I asked her what she thought and she said that, yes, she really did want to go back and re-visit the sadness. Her demeanor was again one of sadness, which sort of freaked me out, after our great hilarious romp. I wondered if I had spoiled the whole thing!

However, I plowed ahead and suggested that she tap on "Even though I still have some feelings of sadness, I completely love and accept myself." The "meter reading" did not go down. I had the feeling that I needed to give her permission to hang on to the sadness if she wanted it so I suggested "I completely love and accept myself if I am sad or not." She said that this felt wonderful to her. As a child, her mother, who was very "positive thinking" used to beat her if she expressed any negative emotions so she learned to repress them. I suggested a round of "I can feel anyway I want" and had her tap while I alternated statements of "sad" and "not sad." At the end, although her expression was more serene than her previous grin, her energy felt calm and clear. She said she felt "Free!" (I informed her that "EFT" stood for "Emotional Freedom Technique!")

I add here that I am a professional Intuitive (a nice word for "pychic") and I am learning to trust my intuitive hits as I practice this amazing technique. I suggest that others might want to do the same, although it's always wise to learn the rules first!

Gratefully, Joyfully,

Christa Swanson