Clearing social anxiety with EFT

By Carol Look

What is social anxiety and why is it so debilitating?

Social anxiety is an acute anxiety reaction to any social situations – parties, small gatherings, workshops or other casual or formal events where people get together to enjoy themselves or share a common bond.  When someone suffers from social anxiety, they start to sweat just thinking about one of these gatherings.  Basically, they have an anxiety attack (that can mimic feelings of a heart attack) in response to being in a social setting.  Social anxiety is incredibly limiting to one’s life.  If you can’t go to parties, feel safe working in an office with many employees, gather for your book group, or even go see a movie, then your life gets smaller and smaller.

HOW TO COLLAPSE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITH EFT 

When collapsing social anxiety with EFT, you need to address the present, the past and the future.

THE PRESENT

There are two ways to address social anxiety in the present.  First, just use EFT on what feels like “generalized anxiety” in yourself or client.  People with intense social anxiety don’t tend to be terribly relaxed in general, even if they are not in a social setting.  So use the basics of EFT on the physical and emotional feelings of anxiety in the present tense.

Secondly, imagine being in a situation (right now) where there are more than 20 people gathering to talk, socialize, and have a good time together.  Pretend you are there in the moment … Measure how high the anxiety is in your body right now, even though you aren’t in that situation yet.

·         How do you feel in your body?

·         Where is the anxiety showing up for you?

·         What are you picturing?

When someone imagines being in this threatening situation, the pounding sound of their heart in their head is often so loud they can’t even identify the pictures they are conjuring up … only that the adrenaline rush has begun.  So before you actually work on the pictures of what might seem threatening, address the physiological symptoms.

On the 0-10 point scale, measure how loud your pounding heart sounds in your head/ears, or how tight your chest feels from the anxiety, or any other symptom you are experiencing.

·         I feel out of control _______ (0-10)

·         The pounding in my chest _______ (0-10)

·         This rushing noise in my ears _______ (0-10)

·         I can’t catch my breath _______ (0-10)

Karate chop point: Even though my heart is pounding so loudly I can’t hear anything else, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway … Even though my heart is pounding in my head and racing in my chest, I choose to feel calm and peaceful … Even though my heart is pounding and I can’t focus on anything else, I accept who I am and how I feel.

EYEBROW:  My heart is pounding.

SIDE OF EYE: This pounding in my ears.

UNDER NOSE: My chest hurts.

CHIN: This pounding throbbing feelings.

COLLARBONE: I can’t catch my breath.

UNDER ARM: This pounding feeling.

HEAD: This rushing noise.

EYEBROW:  My heart is pounding in my head.

SIDE OF EYE: This pounding in my ears.

UNDER NOSE: My chest feels tight.

CHIN: I want a deep breath.

COLLARBONE: I can’t catch my breath

UNDER ARM: These feelings in my body.

HEAD: This rushing noise in my head.

Then measure how loud the pounding seems again to you on the 0-10 point scale, record if it has decreased, and continue tapping as in the above examples, or tap for a positive round.

EYEBROW:  I want to calm myself down.

SIDE OF EYE: I choose to feel calm and peaceful.

UNDER NOSE: My chest feels better now.

CHIN: This pounding is going away.

COLLARBONE: I am back in control.

UNDER ARM: I feel better now.

HEAD: I am back in control.

When these physiological feelings have been reduced enough, the actual pictures that the person “saw” that triggered these reactions can now be addressed.  For instance, suppose the person “saw” or “heard” someone coming up to him at a party wanting to simply chat.  When you have social anxiety, this is absolutely panic-provoking!  Use this picture or any others that seem upsetting as your target for EFT.

PAST EVENTS

It is highly unlikely that someone develops extreme social phobia without an emotional “reason” or trigger from their past.  Identifying and collapsing the energetic charge on past events that contributed to the onset of social anxiety will do wonders to lessen the symptoms and allow the person to re-enter daily life.

·         What happened back then?

·         What did he/she say to you?

·         What felt threatening at that particular gathering?

·         When did you feel trapped?

·         What did you think was going to happen?

·         What was happening in your body?

Basically, without re-traumatizing the person, you want to encourage them to slowly relive the event using small pieces of the scene and tap and collapse each aspect.

Karate chop point:  Even though he wanted to talk to me and I knew I would fail, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself anyway … Even though I couldn’t even have a normal conversation, and I felt embarrassed and humiliated by it, I accept who I am and how I feel … Even though I stumbled and stuttered and sounded so foolish, I accept who I am and how I feel.

EYEBROW:  I feel humiliated when I think of that time.

SIDE OF EYE: It was so embarrassing.

UNDER NOSE: My heart started pounding and I couldn’t talk to him.

CHIN: This is so embarrassing to me.

COLLARBONE: I’m sure it will happen again!

UNDER ARM: I remember how embarrassing it was.

HEAD: I feel as if I’m back there right now!

EYEBROW:  My heart was pounding and I was so embarrassed.

SIDE OF EYE: I couldn’t speak properly.

UNDER NOSE: It was so embarrassing to me.

CHIN: I’m convinced it will happen to me again.

COLLARBONE: I never want to be in that situation again.

UNDER ARM: I don’t want to be caught again.

HEAD: I never want to be embarrassed like that again.

Measure how high the embarrassment is now on the 0-10 point scale about this past event, after tapping a few rounds, and move to a more positive round suggesting possible solutions and feeling in control.

EYEBROW:  I survived that incident.

SIDE OF EYE: It was embarrassing but I managed it.

UNDER NOSE: I can control myself more each day.

CHIN: I appreciate who I am and what happened.

COLLARBONE: I appreciate all of me, even this problem.

UNDER ARM: I accept who I am right now, no matter what.

HEAD: I choose to feel more in control of my feelings.

ADDRESSING THE FUTURE

This may seem identical to the “present” EFT setup statements above, but it is in fact addressing at the problem from a slightly different ASPECT.

Picture a future social situation that you are required to attend, maybe an office event or meeting that has a particular date already set.  Does this trigger the anxiety now even though you aren’t there yet?  Are you considering calling in sick so you don’t have to attend?

·         Picture someone approaching you to ask you a question.  How anxious do you feel on the 0-10 point scale?  _______ (0-10)

·         Imagine feeling trapped with all those people around you, how trapped do you feel on the 0-10 point scale? _______ (0-10)

·         When you anticipate that they might laugh at you or question you, how anxious and upset do you feel? _______ (0-10)

Repeat the following statements out loud and measure their intensity and how “true” they feel on the 0-10 point scale:

·         People are dangerous _______ (0-10)

·         They want something from me _______ (0-10)

·         They always laugh at me _______ (0-10)

·         I feel trapped _______ (0-10)

Karate chop point:  Even though I’m convinced people are dangerous and I won’t be safe with them, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself anyway … Even though I don’t feel safe around people, I accept who I am and how I feel … Even though I want to be alone where I can be safe, I accept who I am and how I feel.

EYEBROW:  I don’t feel safe around people.

SIDE OF EYE: I want to be alone.

UNDER NOSE: I don’t feel safe around people.

CHIN: They’ll want something from me.

COLLARBONE: I don’t want to talk to anyone.

UNDER ARM: Leave me alone!

HEAD: I don’t feel safe around other people.

EYEBROW:  I don’t know what might happen.

SIDE OF EYE: It doesn’t feel safe to me.

UNDER NOSE: I need to avoid this situation.

CHIN: This situation feels threatening.

COLLARBONE: I don’t feel safe with other people.

UNDER ARM: Something bad might happen.

HEAD: I don’t feel safe around other people.

Measure how true this feeling of being unsafe feels to you on the 0-10 point scale, now that you have tapped a few rounds.  Then proceed to the slightly more positive round below, or return to other symptoms and tap until the charge on them is greatly reduced.

EYEBROW:  I can feel safe whenever I want.

SIDE OF EYE: I choose to feel safe right now.

UNDER NOSE: Other people don’t bother me anymore.

CHIN: I am safe enough as I am.

COLLARBONE: I can control myself and my feelings.

UNDER ARM: I choose to feel calm and peaceful.

HEAD: I choose to feel calm and safe.

Social anxiety is one of the most debilitating emotional conflicts a person may struggle with in their life.  To add pressure, it is often one of those hidden problems, and the person bears the weight of a terrible secret.  But thanks to EFT, there is hope and help for anyone suffering from social anxiety.

Carol Look

EFT Practitioner