Inner Child Expert uses EFT for her own healing

By Cathryn Taylor, MA, MFT, LADC

Dear Gary - I just had the most profound experience with EFT.  My name is Cathryn Taylor and I am the author of The Inner Child Workbook.  My book has been out since 1991 and is considered one of the classics in the inner child field.  For the past 20 years I have been working with this concept and instructing others on how to identify and resolve their inner child's conflicts.  Several years ago I came across your techniques and have been applying them to addictive behaviors and teaching clients how to use them to mitigate their anxieties as well.

But today was a real milestone.  For the past several months I have been teaching a new series (inspired by the movie, The Secret,) entitled, "Teaching Your Inner Child the Laws of Attraction." 

As is usually the case, we teach what we need to learn.  When we bring in more light we illuminate that which vibrates at a lower frequency.  The very act of teaching this subject uncovered my last cherished saboteur (my coined phrase for the part of us whose actions are intended to keep us safe but whose impact is to keep us from getting what we want).

She had been acting up ever since I taught my first class.  This little one was my inner 17 year old who was stuck in a moment of time when my father (who was my hero) had a nervous breakdown just as I was ready to leave for college.  That part of me was held captive in that moment and had remained frozen ever since. 

What became apparent today was that any time I truly wanted to step into my mastery (which, in her belief system, would require my leaving my father) she would sabotage me by overeating and numbing out my passion and my will.  No matter how healthy I got in all areas of my life there was always this one lingering, shadow part of me who existed in a state of despair.

Finally, today, I put it all together.  I brought her into my mind's eye and invited her to not only learn the principles of "The Secret" but to also learn how to cope with her despair and grief over her dad's breakdown by teaching her how to do EFT.  I had used EFT to deal with emotional disturbances - but I had never considered going back in time, through meditation, and actually teaching that frozen part of me how to do it.

Inner Child Work is based on externalizing the old wound, giving it a face and then interacting with that part in order to make it feel safe.

The model is a magical way of empowering our most competent adult self while simultaneously being able to acknowledge and respond to our more frightened part.  But the shift that occurred when I actually stepped back in time and did EFT in the exact moment when I lost faith was miraculous. 

The following is a brief description of how I orchestrated this piece of work.  I send this description to you in hopes that it may be of help to others who could benefit from this combination.  

This piece of work began by my going into meditation.  I envisioned my inner teen sitting cross-legged in front of me.  I told her who I was and explained what I wanted to do and that I wanted to begin by making my amends for taking so long to come back for her. 

I also explained I wanted to show her this magical technique which would help her to dissolve pain. Then, in my mind's eye, I explained EFT to her.  I told her I wanted to show her how it worked by doing a round on the sadness and guilt I felt because it had taken me so long to come back for her.  I began with the following set up.

Even though I did not recognize I was letting you (my inner teen) do my dirty work…

Even though I collapsed into your coping mechanism every time I was afraid to progress into my greatness...

Even though I did not know until today I had abandoned you my -17 dear year old within me - you, who loved and adored Dad and felt so terrified when you witnessed his breakdown - I love and accept myself profoundly and forgive myself fully. 

I then did a round of tapping which covered the feelings associated with this.

Eyebrow:  Didn't know until today it was you.

Side of Eye: Collapsed into your despair and fear.

Under Eye: Let you, my dear inner 17 year old do my dirty work.

Under Nose:  Over-ate to cope just as you did.

Chin: I didn't feel safe so I over-ate.

Collarbone: Ignored and abandoned you because I did not know.

Under Arm: Didn't know until today how to feel any other way.

Top of Head: Abandoned you because I did not know.

My inner 17 year old watched as I modeled for her the manner in which this worked.  And I did successfully neutralize my own guilt and remorse.  But the real shift came when I stepped into her essence and did this next round.  Then the waterworks really let loose and the healing truly took place.  Merging into the 17 year old who sat in front of me I spoke from her reality and began with this set up:

Even though I did not know how to cope and was afraid to succeed because I did not want to leave Dad in his time of need…

Even though the only way I knew how to cope and stay loyal to him was by overeating and quieting my fears...

Even though I did not want to let my adult self step into her mastery because it would mean leaving Dad behind, I love myself fully and completely and I forgive myself for not knowing what I did not know.

Then the tapping went something like this:

Eyebrow:  Felt abandoned by Dad (tears began to flow).

Side of Eye:  Felt so isolated and alone (tearful gulps).

Under Eye: Didn't know what else to do. (began sobbing uncontrollably).

Under Nose:  Felt so abandoned by my adult self!

Chin: Why did it take you so long to come back?  I didn't feel safe so I over-ate.

Collarbone: Only choice was to derail my higher self because she ignored me!

Under Arm:  Felt so abandoned by Dad - why did he have so much pain?

Top of Head: I needed him - I needed her - why did they both abandon and leave me so alone? THEN CAME THE ANGER, DESPAIR AND FORGIVENESS.

Eyebrow:  How could Dad and my adult self leave me so alone! (Angry tears)

Side of Eye:  Didn't they know I felt so isolated and alone! (more tearful gulps)

Under Eye:  Didn't they realize I didn't know what else to do. (agitated sobbing)

Under Nose:  Thank God she finally took time to listen.

Chin:  I really did not want you to fail - maybe now I can feel some peace and let go.

Collarbone: Okay so maybe Dad is dead and my adult self has finally come back to help me move on.

Under Arm: Maybe it is safe to learn this stuff and step into the life I have always wanted.

Top of Head: Maybe it is safe to trust.

With this last round the tears stopped and my inner 17 year old looked up at my adult self, nodded, and told her she was ready to learn the secrets of her trade.  She was ready to move on. 

I then proceeded to teach her how to use EFT as a tool to curb her overeating and learn how to sit with and transform the anxiety of growing up and her grief at having to say goodbye to her dad. I have done many healings on myself and others - but this by far, Gary, was the most profound and integrating. 

Not only did my inner teen and adult celebrate - but I felt the applause of my Angels, Masters, and most importantly my Dad.  I cannot thank you enough for your graciousness and for this tool. 

If you feel this could be of any benefit to anyone else who might be trying to succeed but continually runs into sabotage please feel free to share it. 

CATHRYN TAYLOR, MA, MFT, LADC