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Emotional Freedom TechniquesWhere emotional relief brings physical health
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TappyBear helps resolve 11 year old's escalating anger and frustration - the real issues come out
Hi Everyone,
Till Schilling invented TappyBear, a toy bear with tapping spots on it for use with children. In this article he tells how he used it successfully for his daughter's anger. Please note how EFT brought out deeper issues.
Hugs, Gary
Dear Gary,
After much hesitation to submit an article myself about the use of TappyBear, I was nudged by an interesting event recently to do so.
A while ago, I picked my daughter (11) up from school. As she got in the car, she started very intensely voicing her frustration about several disciplinary processes. How unfair they were, that good kids had to pay for the misbehaviour of a few troublemakers, etc. So intense was her reaction, that everyone in her path, including me, was a victim of her anger tsunami. This being totally atypical for her, made me back off and observe.
After about 5 minutes of letting her vent her frustration, I noticed that she was caught in a downward spiral, where frustration lead to anger which led to more frustration and so on. In the past, I have to admit, I would have silenced her with an order. This time, inspired by an article I read, about peaceful conflict resolution, I simply took her TappyBear and sat on her bed.
I gently tapped on it, while looking at her and simply stating some setup phrases in my mind, as she went on venting.
Even though I am extremely frustrated, and angry, I am a fair kid.
Even though I am extremely frustrated, and angry, I am an awesome girl.
Even though I am extremely frustrated, and angry, I can remain calm.
While she was still on a roll, she saw me tapping on the Bear, went into overdrive, strongly dismissing EFT and ridiculing our whole EFT TappyBear effort. She stated that this is ridiculous, that there cannot be any relief simply by poking around on your body, and on and on. As can be the case with anger, one starts saying things that are extremely hurtful.
I took a deep breath, kept on tapping on the Bear for her,
Even though I am extremely frustrated, and angry, I am a fair kid.
Even though I am extremely frustrated, and EFT sucks, I can choose to be calm.
Even though I am mad at what I see, and I cannot do anything about it, I can choose to react differently; I can choose to be calm.
Generally my non-reaction would set her off even more, but something interesting happened after 3 minutes of tapping time. She sat down next to me exhausted, and like a balloon running low on air, went off telling me about her real frustration. She had sadness about her friend's leukemia … the war … that she does not understand religion … and then some more issues too long to write about here. It was a highly explosive emotional concoction!
What is remarkable is that there was a point during her raving, where the intensity in the pitch of her angry voice literally caved in (at about minute 2).
I have to confess that I had to struggle to be able to keep calm long enough to distance myself from her anger and to concentrate on collapsing it for her. Afterward we talked and hugged for about an hour (total time 90 minutes).
Remarkable is that in a few past dealings with similar situations, the frustration would have ruled the rest of the day, causing all sorts of havoc on her ability to do her chores. This would invoke corresponding corrective measures from her parents, resulting in totally unnecessary escalation. Instead, her chores were not only finished on time, but I was also helped in the kitchen with cleanup at no extra motivation.
Thank you EFT!
Till Schilling
