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Emotional Freedom TechniquesWhere emotional relief brings physical health
Self help method often works where nothing else will No Drugs Involved ~ High Success Rate
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Using EFT with a rebellious teen
Hi Everyone,
Kim Eisen exhibits first class rapport skills with her rebellious client and applies EFT to the real reasons for the rebellion. She says, "In 15 short years she had accumulated so much distress and worked harder and harder to become perfect for them [her parents], that she finally broke down and her only apparent choice was rebellion, beyond what we might call the 'normal' teenage rebellion. When I brought her out of my office, she actually was kind to her mother and just wanted to go home and sleep. Her mother told me later that on the way home, she just talked about how cool it was and she wanted to come back. And, she will."
Hugs, Gary
Hi Gary,
It's amazing what some children have to go through so young in life. I had a mother and stepmother bring in a 15 year old girl who was, in their belief, out of control, angry, rebellious and they didn't know what to do. Of course, the girl walked in with arms crossed and huffing and puffing that she didn't need to be here. I'll call her Beth.
I assured her that I knew she didn't want to be there, but since she is here let's make the best of it and maybe even have some fun. Beth’s' eyes rolled. I did talk to the mothers about how this is a family thing and how I appreciated that they were working together on this and not blaming one or the other. But, I also thought it was imperative that they come separately on their own, as well, just to go over anything they might be contributing to the circumstances from their own issues of life, or at the very least, come into some type of understanding.
I think this is important because if we can help the whole family become healthier individually then the whole family unit should stand better as one.
So Beth was still cross-armed when I asked her to sit down and relayed several times that she didn't need to be there. I told her I understood, but here we are. “So,” I said “What's up? Why do you think you're here?”
Beth: Well, my mom thinks ___ and my stepmom thinks ___ and, they just don't get it . . . they're just stupid! Sound familiar?
Me: Well, out of all that, what bothers you the most right now?
Beth: My mothers baby my little sister, Natalie, like she can't do no wrong!
Me: OK, want to try something cool?
Beth: Uh, sure?
Me: OK, like let's just have some fun (change your words to fit the person).
Beth: OK.
Me: All you have to do is say what I say and do what I do.
Beth: OKKK?
Me: We're just going to tap on some points and I'll just show you them on me, then I'll do it on you so you like can feel it, OK?
Beth: OK.
Tapping: Even though they baby Natalie and act like she can't do anything wrong, I'm still a good kid. Then we tapped on the EFT points alternating the reminder phrases, They baby Natalie - She doesn't do ANYTHING wrong.
Me: Anything come up that you thought about why we were doing that?
Beth: Yes, Natalie gets to go to gymnastics and they go to all her meets, everyone goes and when I had basketball, they were always too busy, that's why I quit, since they weren't going to come anyway and now they're mad at me for that. And, when I was young the only thing I really really wanted to do was join gymnastics but there was never enough money, even though, I think there was, but they didn't want to take the time out for me. My real dad left me when I was little and my 'Dad' who is now with my stepmother has a whole new family and Natalie is really his.
NOTE: A ton of information here. Get this, she is basically nobody's little girl and certainly no dad’s real child, in her eyes - this was big. Knowing the families, she's not that far off between what she thinks and what's real. Although because of these thoughts she was unconsciously pulling away from the stepdad or the only viable father she had ever had to solidify her thoughts about it and make it even more real that she wasn't any good.
Tapping: Even though Dad has a new family, I'm still a great kid. With the reminder phrase, Dad has a new family.
Some may not agree with this, but I had a feeling that this would more quickly bring up what we really needed to work on, and it did, this is where the tears started flowing and continued most of the session with a ton of aspects coming out about her real feelings with everyone involved and how she saw them.
We went for 45 minutes straight after that, addressing each aspect as it arose. Finally the tears stopped. And in Beth's words 'Wow, I really feel better'. And I could see it in her face.
In 15 short years she had accumulated so much distress and worked harder and harder to become perfect for them, that she finally broke down and her only apparent choice was rebellion, beyond what we might call the 'normal' teenage rebellion. When I brought her out of my office, she actually was kind to her mother and just wanted to go home and sleep. Her mother told me later that on the way home, she just talked about how cool it was and she wanted to come back. And, she will. My hope is that the parents will take advantage of this for themselves as I truly believe it will contribute to everyone's happiness.
Kim Eisen
