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Deepak Chopra, MD
"EFT offers great healing benefits."
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques®) Where emotional relief brings physical health
Self help method often works where nothing else will No Drugs Involved ~ High Success Rate
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Surrogate EFT for a toddler’s tantrum -- a major lesson in doing surrogate work
Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our Affordable DVDs for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.
Hi Everyone,
A big thank you to Lena Chen from Singapore for giving us an important distinction in surrogate tapping. She says, "Previous surrogate tapping experiences have taught me that when I am feeling frustrated and NEEDED the tapping to work, results were usually less than ideal, sometimes not even working at all. After comparing times when it worked and times when it didn't, I noticed that surrogate tapping tends to be less effective when I was rather attached to the outcome - in Gary's words, I was "in the way", rather than "out of the way.""
Hugs, Gary
My 2 and a half year old son has always fussed plenty every Friday when it's uniform day at his childcare centre. My husband and I had different hypotheses for what could be causing our son to be so aversive towards his uniform, but he was still learning to talk, and while he does understand us, he was not willing to respond yes or no to our questions, so we were not able confirm the real reason behind his rejecting the school uniform.
On this particular Friday, I had to force the uniform on him and he was really distraught, so I started doing surrogate tapping. Previous surrogate tapping experiences have taught me that when I am feeling frustrated and NEEDED the tapping to work, results were usually less than ideal, sometimes not even working at all. After comparing times when it worked and times when it didn't, I noticed that surrogate tapping tends to be less effective when I was rather attached to the outcome - in Gary's words, I was "in the way", rather than "out of the way".
So I always taught my workshop participants to first tap on themselves before doing surrogate tapping. In fact, I even go as far as to say that when they have cleared themselves sufficiently enough so that they honestly do not care if the person they are doing surrogate tapping for has the problem for the rest of his life, that's when they are ready to do real surrogate tapping, that is purely for the interests of the other party rather than their own.
This time round, I didn't tap on myself because I was feeling pretty calm and unperturbed by my son's crying, and was rather sure that I wasn't too attached to the tapping having to work. First I tapped generally.
Even though I don't want to wear this uniform, I am a good boy and Mummy loves me very much.
Despite a few rounds of tapping, my son was still crying, so I tried different Setup Statements, based on the possible reasons for my son's crying.
When I tried, Even though I don't want to wear my uniform because everyone else is wearing the uniform, I am a good boy and Mummy loves me very much", my boy suddenly calmed down almost like magic. That was the first time I had surrogate tapping work so instantaneously and I was pretty amazed!
After my boy fully settled down which was in minutes, I asked him if it was because everyone in his childcare would be wearing the uniform, and that was why he didn't want to wear the uniform ... so that he could be different. And my boy gave a loud and clear YES! A few minutes later, he bounced off the bed happily to have his breakfast, without further complaints about wearing his uniform.
Not only did EFT help me end a toddler tantrum, it actually gave me the means to understand what the toddler tantrum was about. Amazing!
Thanks Gary for this tool that makes parenting so much easier!
Lena Chen
