EFT for pain and nightmares in 3 year old girl

By Dr. Shoshana Garfield

Dear Gary,

It was 11.00 at night, and my 3 year old daughter, Willow (not her real name), was weeping and twitching from pain – she said it was “up the middle” while grabbing at her night nappy.  She asked for some cream, which I put on, but it was still troubling her, so I tried EFT.  My daughter is quite familiar with her "magic buttons" but often does not consent to it (I usually do surrogate work in tantrums with good effect); this time, she was up for doing it with me.

I asked Willow to really focus and describe to me where the pain was.  She said it was in her “vagina and bottom,” and again, said it was especially up the middle.  I asked her to show me how bad it was – hands together being no pain and hands way out there meaning as awful as it could be.  Bless her, she pointed to the ceiling and said, “Way up there.”  So, I figured it was a 10.  For the first of three rounds we tapped,

Even though I have this pain in my vagina and bottom, especially up the middle, I’m a really great kid.  For the reminder phrase we used, pain up the middle.

I asked Willow if the pain was the same or different; she said, “The same, the same, mommy”.  I carried her back to bed and settled her in before the next round.

Even though I still have this pain up the middle, and it’s the same, I’m really a great kid.  I enable my body to let this pain go now. 

Even though I have this pain up the middle and it’s the same, I know my body is so great and amazing it can make the pain go away. 

Reminder phrases: Same pain up the middle … my body knows how to make this pain go away … my body makes this pain go away … my clever body makes this pain up the middle go away.

I didn’t need to ask Willow if the pain had at least lessened; her body had stilled and her face was calm.  When I asked her if it still hurt up the middle, she ignored the query and was tracing the design of her pillowcase with her finger.  She said, “Scary puppies” and I repeated it back to her; she said, “Yes, scary puppies driving” which I also repeated.  She then elaborated further, “Scary puppies driving with tomatoes”.

Undaunted, and committed to using her words and taking her seriously (and gosh she was so cute!), I did a round on that.  Even though there are scary puppies driving, with tomatoes, I’m a great kid, and the puppies are OK too.  Reminder phrase: Scary puppies driving with tomatoes.

I could have done more fancy stuff, like, “the scary puppies kind of look nice to me now”, but she was visibly getting more and more calm as I was tapping through.  By the end of this last round, she was smiling and falling asleep.

This was a great result.  But she woke up an hour later from a bad dream which she couldn’t talk about, and she didn’t want any EFT.  So I did some surrogate work silently in my head and with the touch and breathe method:

Even though I’ve had this bad dream, I’m a great kid. I did another round on feeling safe to go back to sleep, and did a bit of a mental ramble:

Even though it’s hard to fall asleep again because I’m afraid of having another bad dream, I’m a great kid … It may feel dangerous to go to sleep, and I’m a great kid anyway … I allow myself to feel safe enough to go back to sleep … I allow myself to have whatever process I need to have and still have nice dreams. 

I used reminder phrases varied and alternated as per Carol Look’s style like, It’s dangerous to go back to sleep … No it’s not, it’s safe.  I ended with tapping on gratitude for such wonderfully peaceful sleep.

I note that she had no pain whatsoever when she had woken up with that bad dream.  She slept through the rest of the night and the next day was able to talk about what the dream had been about; it was already neutralised so there was no more work required. 

By the way, I do know she has some major stuff to deal with as our son, her younger brother, died a few months ago, and she’s had a lot of ‘sad mommy’ or even sometimes, I admit, ‘tetchy mommy’ as a result, plus her own issues to sort out (e.g. a big sister with no sibling – identity issues).  EFT keeps my own grief process clean, has enabled me to cope with Willow’s grief well, and has directly and indirectly supported us all through this.  It may have been that her pain was related to our son’s death, but it may not have been; the beauty of it was that I didn’t need to know, I could just heal it.

She’s fallen asleep now tonight without any problem and I anticipate a full night’s rest for us all.  Gary, I am ever so grateful to you for your cleverness to figure out EFT and your generosity in sharing it in the ways you do.  I wish I had the words to tell you how positive EFT has been in my life.  Bless you and thank you.

Happy & creative tapping to all,

Shoshana