Surrogate EFT gives comfort to a 94 year old woman with many health challenges

By Janet Berketa, EFT-ADV

I have been working surrogately with EFT.  I was initially contacted by Charles to see if I could pay a visit to his 94 year old mother, Martha (both names changed), who lives 40 miles away from me.  Her problem at that time was that she had degeneration in her lower spine and arthritis in the left hip, both of which created a good amount of pain when she tried to move about.  Martha lives in a senior facility where she is allowed to be on her own most of the time, with assistance provided as and when necessary.

Before I could make the necessary arrangements to see Martha, she had developed a very painful bladder infection, and a visit at this time was not a good idea.  I said I could do surrogate EFT for her from home, which I did for the following month. 

Initially, I started tapping for the lower back and left hip pain and the bladder infection and its pain.  Martha told Charles that the pain was much less after my first session.  However, within a few days, the stress of the pain from the infection took its toll, and she was hospitalized.  I did a few surrogate sessions for her during this time, but really got into full swing once she returned home a week after she was admitted to the hospital.

I was working with little detail as to what was happening with Martha.  I got email messages every few days saying what the new developments were, and I tried to incorporate these changes into my tapping routine until the next message came with different symptoms to work on.  Although I asked about emotional issues several times, they were not forthcoming to any great extent.  I decided I would have to imagine how I would feel if I were losing control over my body as well as my independence, and tapped for the fears connected to these events, as well as anger that this was happening to her.

There were some very interesting things that happened during the month that I worked on with Martha.  For one thing, perhaps because she had been a lifelong theosophist, every time that I started to do EFT on her behalf, she could feel me working on her, and she told Charles that she always felt better when I finished.  As you can imagine, this gave me a great deal of incentive to continue with my sessions on her behalf.

For my part, I was basically working “blind” – simply following the reported physical symptoms and the emotional factors that I supposed she had.  However, I was startled the first time I tapped on behalf of her fears – although these fears were not relevant for me, I had a very strong emotional reaction within myself, with tears pouring down my face during several rounds of tapping.  I experienced fully the panic that Martha must have been feeling, whether she was expressing it outwardly or not.

Shortly after Martha was discharged from the hospital following the bladder infection, she suffered a mild stroke which affected strength in her right arm and hand, with a little pain in the heart area.  I tapped to clear and heal the neural pathways in her left brain and reconnect to her right side, to strengthen her right arm and hand, and also to strengthen a muscle on the inside of her right leg below the knee, as well as to strengthen her heart and her body, which had become weak.

Although I did not tap every day, I did tap almost every day on her behalf.  There were a few other minor disturbances – soreness of her mouth created by an allergic reaction to her medications, and an infection in her left big toe.  But strength started to return to her right side.  I received the following email message from Charles:  “Thank you for your patience!  Martha has been improving every day especially the hand and arm and pain in her back and hip have lessened considerably.”

I continued to tap, making sure that I spent several rounds at the end of each session, programming in positive choices:  I choose to be peaceful … I choose to be calm and content … I choose to allow my body to heal in the way it needs to do … I choose to let it be easy, etc. 

When I finished each session, I sensed that she was able to rest without distraction.  However, her fears (which she never stated) with the frustration caused by her body going out of control in so many ways, in such a short period of time, never seemed to totally leave her.

When I finally stopped a few days ago, Charles sent the following message, “Martha seems to be sleeping even more and she seems also to not be in much discomfort.  The toe is better - there was an infection; she has not had pain in her back or hip this week although this morning her hip was bothering her but she thought because of the way she was resting in bed.”

I wrote this article shortly after ending my surrogate sessions on Martha’s behalf, but did not want to submit it without Charles’ permission.  It has taken several weeks for him to respond to my request, but this is part of his message to me:  “I am very happy to report that Martha has improved a great deal in the last week.  She had almost completely stopped eating and drinking and we thought she was close to crossing over, but suddenly the "old Martha" returned. 

I know that I can say this to you because you would understand what I meant.  One evening we were talking and suddenly her whole demeanor changed including her voice and she began talking in spiritual terms again.  It was like watching a channeler take over a body with a message.  So she has been given (or her Higher Self has given herself) a respite for a while.  So we are all very happy here.

“We do a lot of laughing now, especially around the things her tired old brain cannot remember.  The stroke did affect her short term memory, but it is getting better and her awareness is gradually refocusing.  When one of her friends asked her how she was the other day she answered, "I am PRESENT!"  So this is the good news.  She always said that she wanted to die consciously and now she is closer to this possibility.”

We do not know how the rest of Martha’s journey will develop, but what we do know from this experience is that a person is never too old to benefit from EFT.  That benefit includes greater peace of mind, as well as at least temporary relief of pain and physical disabilities, such as those created by a small stroke.  I am so happy that I was able to assist Martha to become comfortable in a relatively short period of time from the comfort of my own living room, and continue to be in awe about the amazing results obtained by using EFT.

Janet Berketa, EFT-ADV 

Follow-up

Hello Gary, further to the article published recently in which I reported my experience about surrogate tapping for a 94 year old woman who lives 40 miles away from me, I'd like to give an update after receiving this message from Charles a short while ago:

"I thought I would send a few words to keep you up to date on my Mother's situation. I just spent a week with her and found her condition much, much improved.  She is now eating and drinking normally and has put back all the weight she lost.  Her mental function is also better.  Consequently we were able to go out and do things when I was there, which she really enjoyed.  The only drawback was her hip and lower spine - more pain I'm afraid and stronger drugs, but at least she still can walk and is not as dependent on the wheelchair as she was back in April.  I know that much of her good health is because of your ministrations in the spring."

Gary, this experience of working with Martha over this extended period of time has brought me to reflect upon something that I have not heard discussed previously.  In doing surrogate EFT and focusing on a person who was very old, I began to think, especially in view of the fact that she had almost left the world at one point but then suddenly returned, that the timing of the moment of our death is equally as important as the timing of the moment of our birth.

While working with Martha as reported earlier, I mentioned my activities to my massage therapist.  It was her measured opinion that too many people keep on trying to keep souls in this world instead of easing their transition into the other world.  It came across as a negative judgment of anyone who wanted to keep someone alive when, according to her, due to obvious advanced age and physical problems, the only good outcome was to allow that person to advance into the process of dying and leaving this world.

In my blissful ignorance (since I hadn't received any information about Martha being expected to die in spite of her advanced years), I kept on tapping to heal the various problems in her body and to help her feel good about what was going on in her life in the moment, even though it was obviously distressing both to her and to those near and dear to her.

This recent message from Charles has conveyed to me the understanding that helping Martha to recover from her recent spate of physical problems was in fact the right thing to do in light of her renewed ability to function and for the entire family to enjoy the days remaining to her.  As some wise soul once said, "it's not over 'til it's over," to which I can only add:  Amen! 

The question in my mind now becomes whether we, as EFT practitioners, are called upon to decide to withhold or withdraw our services because in anyone else's opinion, a person should be allowed to die simply because of advanced years or physical problems.  I think I am so glad that I didn't stop after I had that conversation with my massage therapist, partly because I should not like to become anyone's chief executioner.  There is another who is eminently more qualified than I to make that final decision God.  Aside from these thoughts, even if a person IS dying when someone is doing EFT on their behalf, it's not an interference or problematic, is it?  Unless, of course, we are trying to hold someone in this world when it's their time to go on.  My ministrations on Martha's behalf were simply intended to heal some of her physical and emotional problems, neither of which would keep her from her destiny in my humble opinion.  In the end, it proved to have helped with the quality of life remaining to her.

Janet Berketa, EFT-ADV