Trauma success in Israel--as told by the client

Opening remarks by Larry Stoler, PhD

For 3 days in December, three of us, Karen Milstein, Ph.D, Sharon Toole, Ph.D. and I, held the first ever EFT and Energy Psychology training in Israel. Invited by a small and talented group of passionate EFT-ers in Israel, we presented an overview of EFT and Energy Psychology methods with particular emphasis on applications to trauma treatment. This training served as an inaugural event leading to the development of an Energy Psychology group in Israel, EP-I. EP-I will hold additional trainings, offer supervision and seek opportunities to educate therapists about EFT and related methods. EP-I also aims to bring this work into hospitals, schools and the broader community.

During the workshop, Rivka (Adriane Rivka Bernstein) volunteered for a demonstration on using EFT in trauma work. She provides us with a moving description of her experience, the text of which follows below.

By Adrian Rivka Bernstein

EFT Course,

Ra'anana, Israel.

9^th December 2002

Lifting the Pain

As I remember it!

During the afternoon of the 2^nd day of the EFT course that I was attending Larry asked for a volunteer, so that he would be able to demonstrate an EFT treatment and a combination of the techniques that we had been shown.

It had been two very intense days and it was important to see it all working together as a whole.

I volunteered.

The reason, as I first explained to Karen, was a recent trauma and three related issues.

My daughter had been on the airplane that took off from

Mombassa airport in Kenya in the 28^th November. 2 missiles were shot at the plane and by a miracle missed. I have written and spoken about the incident and thought that I was 'OK'. In retrospect, and I will elaborate a little later, I really was not OK and in fact did not know just how much pain I was carrying.

This is what I told Karen:

One, that I was having some difficulty sleeping--I would recall the first two hours when in a state of almost collapse, I tried to confirm that my daughter and her friends were on the flight.

Two, that I did not feel that I was suffering from survivors' guilt, but that my heart was aching for the family from Ariel that lost two young sons in the attack on the hotel in Mombassa, friends in Ra'anana who had lost a son and other friends and family of mine who had lost children. I had come just a little too close for comfort.

Three, that I felt a high level of anxiety regarding my daughter, actually both daughters, as flying regularly was part and parcel of my eldest daughter's life, and my daughter that was on the plane from Mombassa was planning to go to London. I felt that I would like to return to a balance of caring and supporting but not being neurotic. A need to re-separate, as I had been before the attack.

The session, I `really feel that it was far too powerful an experience to call a demonstration, started and Larry explained some things and then we began.

I was asked a few questions and asked to explain why I was there and what I felt. I did this as best as I could.

(Larry: I decided to focus on the pain Rivka reported in her chest and heart areas)

Larry asked if I believed that my heart could feel OK again and that it could be healed. Need I say that I would not have volunteered if I felt that it couldn't be healed eventually, not necessarily in one session, but I thought that there would be some relief from my heart pain, and a little help on the anxiety issues.

On a scale of 1-10 the pain around my heart measured 9.

We started the tapping, and as my title suggests, there is a lot I don't remember, so can't write down the affirmation. I do remember thinking how beautiful it was.

By the time we reached the chest tapping (collarbone points), I had started to smile as the pain was lifting. We did the full tapping and the 9 gamut treatment. Immediately we repeated it and by this time I was laughing as I couldn't believe that not only had the pain started to lift, I couldn't feel it at all.

Larry asked me how I felt and I think that is when I started to cry. It was such a relief, and in fact I had not realized just how painful my chest had been since the incident. This heavy painful burning around the heart area and chest pain, physically sore to the touch, had been, without me realizing it, preventing me breathing properly.

The crying was from relief and not something that had been brought up by the treatment.

What I do remember saying was that I felt like someone who had volunteered in one of those church settings and 'Hallelujah' I was cured. A very funny feeling.

But, as Larry started to talk and explain some things to our group, I felt a pressure on my chest. Different to the heart pain, but pressure. We tapped again and that left. I felt during this initial part of the session a wonderful warm feeling radiating from the room of fellow EFT students and practitioners.

Larry then asked me how I felt about the terror of the first few hours and I had to think about that one. [Larry: I wanted to check back to the original problem to see if this had changed] As I write this, It is now about 5 hours later and I still can't recall the actual feeling of the panic attack I had had when I first heard the news. I can relate it, tell you what I did and said, or didn't say, but the actual feeling of panic, which is what I have re-experienced almost every night, I cannot recall.

I was also asked how I felt about the parents of the children and my friends. The best way to explain this is to jump to the end, the day when I drove directly to see my friend whose son was killed about 2 months ago. Since the 7 days of mourning after his death, I have not been able to visit her. My heart was just too sore. This was even before the Kenya story and that had caused my heart to feel like it was burning.

I arrived unannounced, asked to see my friend, and said I was there for only 5 minutes. She came downstairs, looked at me, and all I said was that I had come to hug her. We hugged, or rather clung to each other. She cried and my heart was warm and I felt that I could comfort her in the way I wanted to but it was different now. My life after the attack had changed forever. There is a different understanding and my heart opened to her in a different way.

Different to how it had been just two hours before.

I am still marveling at the difference.

To return to the end of the session.

Larry asked how I would rate the normal anxiety level of a mother seeing her children off on a trip and I put it at about 5. Then, he asked me to rate on a scale from 1 to 10 how I felt now. I asked him if he wanted an honest reply and he said of course.

I rated my anxiety level at 15!

So we started to work on that and after a round or two of tapping, it was reduced to 9. (Larry: "Even though my mother anxiety is a 15 and should be a 5, I deeply and completely accept myself". "Even though my mother anxiety is a 15, I am open to the greatest change possible in this issue at this time")

Then again and it came down to 5. Or about 4 and a half and don't forget the half. (Larry: When I asked Rivka what the level of this anxiety was, I knew that it was lower than 5, but she answered "5". I playfully asked her if it just might be 4 or 4 = and she admitted that it might be 4 =. This is important because it shows her openness to expand past a personal and emotional limit represented by that 5).

We spoke a little, with more questions, and I remarked that not only had the pain around my heart gone, but I felt much better than I had felt in a long time.

Whilst we were talking and at this stage laughing a lot, I suddenly realized that my vision had cleared.

I hadn't connected the blurred vision that I had had for the last 10 days with the trauma.

I thought there was something wrong with my contact lenses, and had been constantly taking them out of my eyes to clean them, but nothing helped.

Suddenly things were crystal clear.

I feel very grateful for the opportunity of participating in the session.

I feel once more that I can support my daughter, and be there for her without smothering her. With my pain lifted, I know it will be easier to help her when and how she needs it.

I hope that as I was helped, so too were others there today. Issues that were unexpected for me were uncovered and worked through, and I was told directly after the session and at the tea break that a lot of wonderful healing had happened.

Larry conducted the session with warmth, care and concern.

A very big thank you to you Larry, Karen and Sharon for coming to our beautiful country, in this very very difficult time.

To those who organized it, Kol Hakavod (A job well done!)

With much gratitude that I thank Hashem (G-d) for leading me on this path and I offer a universal prayer for peace in our beautiful country Israel and the entire planet. I thank, the sponsors, organizers and my fellow participants in this course. All our paths were meant to cross at this meridian in time and space.

Adriane Rivka Bernstein

With hopes for peace,

Larry Stoler, Ph.D
Karen Milstein, Ph.D.
Sharon Toole, Ph.D.