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Deepak Chopra, MD
"EFT offers great healing benefits."
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques®) Where emotional relief brings physical health
Self help method often works where nothing else will No Drugs Involved ~ High Success Rate
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Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our Affordable DVDs for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document
Using EFT for Premature Ejaculation
Rebecca Marina uses EFT successfully for a 71 year old gentleman with a "male romantic concern." She gives many details here, including how she discovered a core issue.
Hello Gary,
Here is an unusual case dealing with male sexuality -pre-mature ejaculation. This article is a bit long but you just can't cure a 71 year problem of this nature in three minutes.
I have worked with many women's sexual problems however, I was not really eager to work with male sexual problems. However, when Don contacted me, he was so sincere and gentlemanly, I agreed to work with him. Don had heard of the work I had done in women's sexuality and wondered if EFT might work for his problem. The thing that really sparked my interest in helping Don, was his age.
At 71, he had met a beautiful, kind lady on the Internet and had been speaking with her and developed a relationship by telephone. Don, understandably did not want the premature ejaculation problem to ruin the relationship before it got off the ground. Well, Gary, my hat was off to this gentleman for caring enough and wanting to solve this problem and be a good lover to his lady-love. I agreed to work with Don and asked if he would let me use his story if we were successful. I did warn Don that his problem likely had many aspects and would probably not be a "one shot wonder" He agreed to stick with the treatment until the problem was solved. Here are the high points of how the session went and below is Don's exhilarating testimony.
I asked Don to tune in to how he felt about having intimate relations with his new love. He said he felt "pressure to perform" and a sense of "she will be disappointed in me." He was was about an 8 in intensity on both feelings.
We tapped using the set up phrase, "Even though I feel such pressure to perform and worry she will be disappointed in me, I deeply and completely accept myself" After, a couple of rounds, Don was down to about a 4 and I asked if he felt ready to put in a positive "Choice" (using Dr. Carrington's choices method). I asked Don what a positive choice for him might be. He had just a little trouble thinking of a realistic positive choice because he had experienced the problem for so long. I helped him out a little by asking, "Don would you feel comfortable in 'tapping' in the choice of, Even though I have felt pressure to perform and fear of disappointment a very long time, I choose to allow myself to take baby steps toward releasing this problem?"
He agreed that those words felt comfortable and we tapped like this, "Even though I have felt pressure to perform and have some fear of disappointing my lady, I choose to allow myself to take baby steps towards solving this problem"
Now, Don was down to a 1 on the fear scale. I felt it was time to move onto the 'root cause' that may have set up an "expected performance energy pattern". I guided Don in a relaxed meditation (EFT works beautifully with hypnosis and mediation) to allow his consciousness to drift back to the root cause.
He saw himself at 16 year of age, passionately kissing a girl goodnight- he became so excited he ejaculated into his trousers. Worse, the girl laughed at him! He felt shame and embarrassment still after all these years at an intensity level of 9. We tapped for, "Even though I feel such shame I could just die of embarrassment, I deeply and completely accept myself." The intensity came down to about a 6 and now I asked Don. "What other thoughts and feeling were coming up for you as we tapped"?" Well," Don replied, "I felt some anger at the girl and anger at myself." We then tapped for, "Even though I feel angry at the girl and at myself for losing control, I deeply and completely accept myself."
I felt we had really taken the edge off and it was time to bring in a positive choice of forgiveness and acceptance that this is a natural occurrence at 16 years old.
"Even though I shamed myself at 16, I forgive myself completely for that, I had raging hormones and it was a natural thing to happen, I forgive myself for getting stuck in this pattern, I forgive anyone else I may have blamed for this pattern and I am ready to let it go."
At this point, Don's energy really felt a lot lighter and we moved into treating the more present circumstance and the more pressing problem of "What's going to happen when I want to be intimate with my lady-love."
Once again, I used the power of meditation to move us along.
I asked Don to imagine that he was having dinner with his Lady in a hotel restaurant and that he had reserved a room upstairs for a romantic interlude. I asked him to report any anxiety he was feeling just in his imagination. Don said he felt anxiety at about a six, so we stopped and tapped until it was down to a zero.
Now, I guided Don in a further scenario where they had finished dinner and were opening the door to the hotel room and he held her in his arms. He reported no anxiety at all, he just felt very loving and that everything would be OK.
I gave Don some homework to do to increase his awareness of his body. Part of the problem was that Don was disconnected from the feelings that preceded ejaculation. Once he became aware of the sensations that were a natural part of sexual function his control became much easier. I expected Don to call and say he needed another appointment but I did not hear from him for awhile. When I did hear from him, it was the following letter.
Rebecca,
I didn't contact you recently because of family commitments, it has not been easy to find the time and space I need for myself.
All I can tell you is that the work we did together made my first face to face visit with my partner-to-be a fantastic success. Our meeting was wonderful and sex was just marvelous….even at my age. The problems we dealt with turned out not to be a problem at all.
There was the occasional slip-up, but it was very occasional compared with the number of times we made love. I felt relaxed and completely comfortable….THANKS.
Of course you can use our work together, in any way you want to. I love what you do and the humor and fun you bring to it. Even the most delicate and private things are easy to deal with.
Take care and God bless,
Don
Rebecca Marina
