Self Image: An insightful look at the "Writings on our Walls"

By Dr. Alexander Lees

"Writings on our walls" is an interesting phrase and refers to "the truths" we learned as children. Some of these truths, as it turned out, became quite supportive, and sustained us in achieving successes in various aspects of our lives. On the other hand, many of us may have learned truths that turned out to be limitations in some way, and we find ourselves held back because of them.

Perhaps you can remember being a kid, and having to leave class because you had to go the washroom. Once inside the cubicle, you read the latest "news of the day" scrawled upon any available wall space. The most interesting point of that exercise was the tendency to believe what was written on those walls.

You may remember seeing your friend Mary's name, and someone had written, "Mary cheats." You also may have seen messages that read, "Harry is a loser," or "Susie lies," or "Joe sucks at baseball." All of us, to some degree, were exposed to a vast variety of messages about other people's limitations, screw-ups, and less than acceptable performance.

Guess what? This form of "programming" applies to each and every one of us. The difference is simply a question of degree.

Your parents sometimes (or a lot), your babysitter (sometimes or a lot), your peers, your siblings, your uncles or aunts, or perhaps it was just a family friend... at some time or another, someone, usually in a highly emotional state, explained to you, the way the world is. I'm talking about those experiences with whomever (parent, peer, sibling, etc.) that caused you to believe in your limitations.

These conversations could have started with:

"You can't ..."

"That's impossible ..."

"That's ridiculous ..."

"Because you're a girl ..."

"People that have money are evil ..."

"Don't try to go beyond ..."

"You're not smart enough ..."

"You have no stick-to-itness ..."

"Give up ..."

"Don't even bother ..."

"That's just for other people ..."

"You will never......."

And that's just the short list!

All of this, and any other examples you may begin to remember, are "Writings on our walls."

It seems The Rule is: "Anyone else can write on my walls, but I cannot. What is written on the walls is true and, as long as the writings on the walls exist, I cannot go for it." Once again, EFT is available to rescue you.

Hint: When dealing with writings on your walls, humour is one of the best ways to free yourself of these deep seated constraints.

EFT is an eraser. Once you begin to realize that any limitation is primarily because of the teachings you had, then EFT becomes your way of removing those limits.

To begin to erase the writings on your walls, first identify (put into thought or words), what you know or think you can't do. And, if you can recall or imagine the emotional response, that is how you felt about at the time, so much the better. Just to prevent a flood of emails, or other forms of communication querying this point, please understand we are all bound by the constraints of reality and common sense. For example, if you are sixty years old, please don't ask if the use of EFT will allow you to become an astronaut!

If you can, think back to the "teachings," the input you had regarding the subject, and as you begin to remember, begin a session of EFT by tapping the PR (Karate Chop) point. Continuing to tap the PR point, state the limitation prefaced by: "Even though I can't... 'X' (name the limitation), I deeply and completely accept myself."

Repeat this two more times.

Then tap the rest of the points using a reminder phrase representing the limit, such as "Not allowed to be happy."

Hint: Adding emphasis by stating the issue firmly, or even more loudly, can enhance the changes you seek even more.

Advanced EFT:

#1 - You can tap on all the limitations of childhood, and be successful.

#2 - You can tap a limitation of childhood, and add humour to the process.

#3- You can tap a limitation of childhood with emphasis, as well as humour.

#4 - Option #2 and or #3 speeds things up nicely.

The following are some examples. (While tapping the PR point)

"Even though I'm always wrong, and therefore not good enough, at least I'm always right about that... I deeply and completely accept myself."

"It's always my fault. I don't mean it to be, so it must be genetic. And since it's genetic, it's not my fault. It's my mother's fault, father's fault. These faulty genes... I deeply and completely accept myself."

"These writings on my walls, not put there by me... must be right even though I've forgotten who wrote them... I deeply and completely accept myself."

"I cannot write on my walls, that is not allowed. The writings on my walls say so. I can write on other's walls... and they can write on mine... without permission... 'cause the writings says so... and must be obeyed... even if I don't remember where I read that... and probably will be punished... I deeply and completely accept myself."

"Even though I do not know... if I remembered to forget... or forgot to remember... the writings on my walls... when I was young. I'm really a bad person... a none deserving person... the writing's say so... I deeply and completely accept myself."

"Even though I can't remember... these writings on my walls. And whoever did the writings on my walls... must have had some interesting writings on their walls... which is probably genetic. And not their fault... I deeply and completely accept myself."

Remember, any of the above takes place whilst you are tapping the PR point continuously. Then use a reminder phrase (representing the problem) as you tap on the rest of the points. Taking the time to clear these writings on your walls can reap great dividends, and clear the way to dealing with other issues more easily. For example:

"Even though I'm limited in some way, thanks to these writings on my walls, I forgive myself for all my limitations, and all the things I did wrong, and all the pain I've caused, both to myself and others, and even though I don't necessarily know or remember, all the things I did wrong, I deeply and completely accept myself."

"Even though I've come to believe everything that goes wrong is my fault, I'm gonna make things right by retiring my position as general manager of the universe, and I completely and deeply accept myself."

Then tap the rest of the points using a reminder phrase relevant to the issue you are working on. For example: "All these screw-ups, all these screw-ups."

Granted, at this level of change-work the astute observer will say: "But that's not specific enough!" True. However, by tapping with a like and similar phrasing, one is loosening up the generalization and softening it. This "softening up" effectively allows you to begin to recall specific incidents back there (in time) and more easily get in touch with the emotional aspect.

Once you access them, and tap on those specific "writings" you are beginning to remove the core limitations impeding your progress. And now, let's answer the questions, "What for?" and "Why bother?" The answer is: Inner peace, and more happiness, both of which, fortunately, are highly contagious.

Dr. Alexander R. Lees