The Palace of Possibilities

Using EFT to achieve one's potential

In this Section 11...

• The Palace of Possibilities 29--Lessons from the O. J. Simpson trial
• The Palace of Possibilities 30--You have your hands on an emotional switch
• The Palace of Possibilities 31--Watch your words
• The Palace of Possibilities 32--A negative tug on my psyche

The Palace of Possibilities 29--Lessons from the O. J. Simpson trial

Hi Everyone,

I was fascinated by the O. J. Simpson trial.

But my fascination had nothing to do with Simpson's guilt, innocence or the ethics of any of the personalities involved. Instead, I was interested in the defense team's use of REPETITION and EMOTION to put their writing on the jury's walls. This was particularly true of Johnnie Cochran's closing argument. Whether or not we agree with the motives involved, there were some useful lessons from the O. J. Simpson trial.

First, a little background. You may recall that midway through the trial, Mr. Simpson was asked to try on the bloody glove that was left at the scene of the crime. To the eyes of most observers, including the jury, the glove didn't fit. The prosecution explained this away in a number of ways, including the claim that the wetness of the blood caused the glove to shrink. All these explanations were plausible but the fact remains, to most observers, the glove didn't fit.

There were many other inconsistencies in the evidence and, as you might expect, the defense team was quick to point them out. Also, they REPEATEDLY used the term "a rush to judgment" when referring to the prosecution's case. I'll bet they used that term over 100 times during the course of the trial. It became a repetitive slogan that made its way onto the walls of just about everyone listening. A rush to judgment. A rush to judgment.

Then, when it came time for the closing argument, defense attorney Johnnie Cochran reminded the jury that their duty was to acquit Mr. Simpson if they had a "reasonable doubt" about his guilt. However, Mr. Cochran chose to reframe "reasonable doubt" in a unique way and this reframe allowed him to effectively use the principles of REPETITION and EMOTION for writing on the jury's walls. He basically reduced the whole notion of "reasonable doubt" to one simple, poetic like mantra. "When you weigh the evidence," he said,.

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

That seemingly simple phrase was REPEATED throughout Mr. Cochran's closing argument. Each time he discussed evidence for which there was some controversy he would say...

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

The mantra was said with cadence and rhythm to add an EMOTIONAL component. When Mr. Cochran discussed the conflicting timelines regarding the murders he said...

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

When he contrasted Detective Mark Fuhrman's evidence with his apparent racial bias he said...

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

And, of course, when he came to the part about the glove that didn't fit he said....

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

I lost track of how many times Mr. Cochran repeated that phrase but each time he did so, he did it with an emotional sing-song, hypnotic type rhythm. He was writing that phrase on the jury's walls with REPETITION and EMOTION. He was also writing it on everyone else's walls, including mine. REPETITION and EMOTION. It was simple, non-complicated, to the point. "It it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

This went on for 2 or 3 hours and, after Mr. Cochran finished, he gave the floor to his colleague, Barry Scheck. Mr. Scheck was the lawyer with the technical DNA expertise. He visited some of the controversial parts of the DNA evidence for the jury but never once said, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit." That was Mr. Cochran's line and it would have looked out of place for Mr. Scheck to say it.

Instead, Mr. Scheck did something extremely potent that added a punctuation point to Mr. Cochran's mantra and elevated the whole thing to big CAPITAL LETTERS on the jury's walls. After going over the controversial technical evidence he leaned over the podium and looked at the jurors straight on and said, slowly and deliberately,.....

"You know.......it just doesn't fit."

When he said that I immediately heard the echoes from my walls that was put there by Mr. Cochran....

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Incredible. This had to have been implanted within those jurors' minds. The defense team wrote masterfully on the jury's walls using the simplest of techniques. We can use these techniques too. We can use them in ethical ways on ourselves or on behalf of others. We can, for example, use them for forgiveness...

"The way to live, is to forgive."

OR we can use them for peace...

"My personal peace, becomes my release."

OR we can use them to motivate clients to tap on their own...

"To leave this trap, you must tap."

The possibilities go on. Advertising slogans, jingles, rhymes, mantras and the like are very powerful tools for writing on walls. If we think they are silly, we miss the point. These things are being done to us daily--very effectively. Why not take charge and do the same thing for ourselves? It is a choice, you know.

Sometimes we forget the fundamentals.

Hugs, Gary

The Palace of Possibilities 30--You have your hands on an emotional switch

Hi Everyone,

Beware! I can manipulate your emotions at will.

I can change your emotional state from glad to sad within moments and then change it back again moments later. Further, you are nearly helpless against my powers. The only way to truly avoid what I can do is to avoid me altogether. By that I mean don't listen to what I say and don't read what I write. That is your only true defense.

You see, I have my hands on an emotional switch that is capable of pointing your psyche in any direction I desire and, interestingly, you happily permit it. I'm not the only one with this switch, however. You have it as well. Everyone has it. That switch is our language--the words we use. Most of us aren't consciously aware of what we are doing with them.

Words are routine to us. We use them everyday by the thousands but don't give much thought to how they consistently and powerfully shape our lives. They literally dictate our emotional states. No? You think not? Then read the following....

"I feel so lonely. I'm in a dead end place loaded with despair, depression and disease. This desolate world is filled with violence and hatred. Life is the pits. It is what you do while you are waiting to die. I was robbed of my childhood and have been rejected ever since. I'm worthless, useless, hopeless, hapless and hugless."

Now read it again--this time more slowly--and notice how you feel as you read those "downer" words such as lonely, despair, desolate, die, robbed, worthless, hugless, etc.

Now contrast that with the feelings you get when you read the following.

"Today's an exciting day. It's awesome and loaded with possibilities. I can't wait to see what opportunities will show up next. Life is a fun zone loaded with smiles and thrills. It's magical. I'm inspired, energized, unstoppable and blessed to be alive."

The latter paragraph, of course, is much more uplifting to read. Did you ever stop to think why? Obviously, it contains more uplifting words. But what is it about those words that gives us that uplifting feeling? After all, those words are just made up of little marks on paper (or your computer screen) and sometimes those little marks look almost the same. The word gruesome, for example, looks quite similar to awesome. Yet it gives an altogether different feeling. Why?

Whenever we hear a word we must "internalize" it before we can fully understand its meaning. The word "airplane," for example, doesn't mean much until we make a mental picture of it or otherwise get an internal sense of what an airplane is. This is subtle, I know, but it's as if our system asks, "What does this word mean?" and, in an instant, the word is internalized within our system and given meaning. We must literally experience the word for it to have its full meaning.

We internalize words according to the writing on our walls and this is why the same word can have very different emotional impacts on different people. The word "Hitler," for example, has a far different emotional impact on a Holocaust survivor than it does on a 12 year old non-jewish history student. The word "slave" brings up different emotions within our African-American citizens than it does for Caucasians. Other examples are "Jesus," "cancer" and "sex."

It follows, then, that the previous paragraphs that I asked you to read were given their emotional content by the types of words they contained. In order for you to make sense of those paragraphs you had to internalize all the words and your resultant feeling was a reflection of how those words internalized within your system. You literally "experienced" each of those words in a mini way.

The influence of words is all around us. Words of every description are on TV, radio, books, magazines and the like. They are in our everyday conversations (including client conversations) and are constantly being internalized by us. Have you ever been around people who "take your energy?" Would you like to know why? Listen to their emotionally draining words. To understand them, we must internalize the words they use (such as depression, ugly, hate, etc.) and, as we do that, our emotional state heads downhill into the same desperate depths of desolation and devastation as the pathetic, emotionally impoverished person speaking them (oh ugh! parts of this I don't like to write).

On the other hand, pay attention to the motivating words used by people who inspire you. They are alive. They are vibrant, enthusiastic, empowering and passionate. They Touch the World and help form our Healing High Rise. They are joyous. They are spirited and bring love and forgiveness with them. I know a writer and seminar presenter, for example, who purposely uses the word "awesome" and other inspiring words frequently throughout his presentations. Why? Because he knows that uplifting words are friendly, motivational and energizing. People internalize them and respond accordingly. He is now writing a series called The Palace of Possibilities. Read it sometime and look at the preponderance of uplifting words he chooses to use.

The words we use are very effective emotional switches. They bring about exhilaration or debilitation depending on how they are used. And it isn't just the words we read and hear that does this number on our emotions. The words we say are of particular importance. Further, the words we say habitually are mirrors of our core emotional states. We will cover this next time.

Hugs, Gary

The Palace of Possibilities 31--Watch your words

Hi Everyone,

Words, words, words. They are all around us. You just read about 10 of them and are about to read over 1,000 more. They are the primary means by which we communicate--the symbols we use to transmit ideas. The English language is particularly rich in symbolism and shades of meaning. It lends itself beautifully to metaphors, alliteration and descriptive phrases. Words are very powerful. They can be used to motivate, celebrate, complicate or aggravate.

I know we're talking fundamentals here but it's easy to forget the basics. After all, we're into EFT and powerful techniques for eliminating emotional baggage. Hooray! Stay with it. Learn more. But let's add positive elements along the way. It's easy to do. Why allow our vocabulary to work against us when we can easily shift it to work for us?

Last time we noted that the words we read and hear generate emotions within us. This is because we must internalize them in order to get their full meaning.

But what about the words we say (or write)? Do they also impact our emotional state? You bet! Before we say a word such as "depression" or "delightful" we must first internalize it to get its full meaning. Stated differently, we must think a word before we say it and by thinking it we internalize (experience) it in a mini way. This does not mean, however, that the mere utterance of the word "depression" causes us to tailspin into a major funk. Not so.

What DOES happen, however, is that the repeated use of a word (such as depression) causes repeated mini experiences of that word and those repeated mini experiences serve to condition us in the direction suggested by the word. It is the habitual use of given words that move us in the direction of those words. Show me someone, for example, who consistently uses the word "stress" and I'll show you someone who usually experiences stress over even a minor incident. They condition themselves to feel stressed even when the incident involved might only call for a simple "Oh well" and a releasing breath (or a few taps).

There are countless instances of this. Someone, for example, who habitually uses the word "furious" to describe an angry state (even a mild one) conditions their system to experience fury even if the event calls for nothing more than an annoyed reaction. Show me someone who habitually says things like, "That makes me furious," or "I was furious about that" and I will show you someone who frequently flies off the handle regardless of the severity of the incident. On the other hand, show me someone who habitually portrays anger as, "That's annoying," or "I was annoyed about that" and I'll show you someone who is likely to be mild mannered and who rarely loses their cool, even over potentially intense issues.

We need to watch our words, especially those we use habitually. They tend to condition our emotional system and take us in directions.

As you may know, I love the word "awesome." I use it in an uplifting, even humorous vein. I also like passionate, energized, elegant and delightful. Magical is a good word too. So are first class, vibrant and marvelous. What do you think would happen to our ongoing emotional states if we purposely changed our vocabulary and replaced words like terrible, awful, afraid, exhausted, drained, etc. with more uplifting choices? Would we start to condition our emotional system in a more positive direction? Absolutely! What if all of our clients did this? Wouldn't such vocabulary shifts serve as mini-affirmations and move them in more useful directions?

Many people are caught in what I call an "emo-word loop" where their negative emotional state and their negative vocabulary reinforce each other. Their negative state causes negative words which, in turn, reinforce the negative state which, in turn, causes more negative words, etc. This loop will continue in its negative ways, of course, until it is interrupted. EFT can certainly interrupt it but so can the purposeful use of more empowering words. So why not use both?

We can certainly dig beneath the negative fears, traumas, guilt, etc. that contribute to the loop and use EFT to transform them into more useful "outside the loop" cognitions. This is likely to bring about a more vibrant emotional level as well as a more elegant supporting vocabulary. In the process, however, it would be so easy to consciously replace our negative words with more energetic choices. This can only escalate the process of healing and elevate us to more inspiring places in our lives.

Changing one's habitual vocabulary, however, does not always mean to substitute an unrealistically positive word for a negative emotion. For example, saying "I'm vibrant" to describe a feeling of depression doesn't quite cut it. It's a cumbersome, illogical substitution of words. But using words like "I'm a little down" or "I'm about to turn the corner" bring about much less negative punch than "I'm depressed!" They serve to "take the edge off" an otherwise intensely negative word. Here are some more examples for taking the edge off. I'm sure you can expand on this list yourself.

• I can't (I don't know how)
• My problem (my challenge)
• I'm stressed (I could use a little peace right now)
• Breaking a habit (dissolving the need)
• I'm anxious (I need to redirect my energy)
• I'm exhausted (I need to refuel)
• I failed (I stubbed my toe this time)
• I'm lonely (It's quiet time right now)
• I'm lost (I'm looking for my next level)
• I'm nervous (I'm alert)
• I'm overwhelmed (I'm ready for new perspective)
• I've been rejected (I'm given new input)
• Cold calling (rapport practice)
• Closing a sale (welcoming someone aboard)
• I hate (I prefer something else)
• It's terrible (it needs improvement)
• Diet (developing new tastes)

The words we use are obvious echoes of the writing on our walls. Therefore, once we get the hang of listening to other people's words, we can read their walls with relative ease. I'm forever hearing other people's words as an aid to helping them grow. It's not a good idea, however, to spit someone's words back at them without first informing them of the "why" behind your doing so. It's a sure way to lose rapport. However, I find that artfully informing clients of the power of their own words usually results in acceptance and understanding. Many of them take to the idea quite readily and willingly choose better words.

The real trick, however, is listening to our own words and hearing our own stuff. When we get good at that, we have made a major leap forward.

Hugs, Gary

The Palace of Possibilities 32--A negative tug on my psyche

Hi Everyone,

I received the following message a few days ago from Maria Van Sertima regarding the shootings at Columbine High School. Her message is right on and beautifully illustrates many of the Palace Principles even though she emphasizes their power to create the negative. Our consistent thoughts become our reality and if those thoughts are negative....guess what? I read her well thought out message several times and every time I got a negative tug on my psyche.

I didn't like it.

Why? Because I didn't like the words. They had real negative effect on me and, as I internalized them, I didn't like the feelings I got. Brrrrr!, I thought. Overdone.

However, I am quick to recognize that it wasn't me that didn't like it. It was the writing on my walls which evaluated what those words meant (on my terms, of course, not hers). I read words like suffering, tragedy, massacre & killers and kept getting "ughs" in my system. Words have power, great power. They can, and do, shift our emotions quickly.

The writing on my walls kept saying, "She doesn't need to be so negative. She should lighten up. She's going overboard and ruining her point." Remember, though, that her chosen negative words are not in my habitual vocabulary so they're not likely to go over well with the resident writing on my walls. I have been a student of words and their effects for many years and have chosen not to live underneath the thunderclouds of intensely negative words. I prefer the gentle rain. To me, death is a beginning instead of a tragic end. Killers are people who need help. Massacres are evidence of spiritual needs.

So, please read what I just said and then read Maria's message below. Chances are, you will judge the "rightness" or "wrongness" of our comments. You will side with one of us or land somewhere in the middle. You may even be adamant in your responses. What you are doing, of course, is consulting the writing on your walls about what is being said. The writing on your walls is thus judging the writing on Maria's walls and the writing on mine. Interestingly, your judgments will appear correct to you because, after all, they come from your version of the "truth" (as written on your walls). Maria's version or my version will be judged as proper only to the extent it reflects your version of the "truth." Otherwise, you may wish to dismiss it or, perhaps, vehemently oppose it.

You might also notice the power of Maria's words and how well she illustrates the concepts which have been developed within the Palace of Possibilities. She writes a very powerful, and poignant, piece. Here it is...

Hugs, Gary

P.S. FROM GARY: I wonder what would happen if we suddenly realized that EVERYONE responds according to the varying writings on their walls. I know you already recognize this phenomenon but what if we REALLY internalized it and held in this light ALL of our clients, parents, children, lovers, employers and "enemies" who "disagree with us." Might peace and forgiveness be a little easier to come by? After all, who could get upset over a disagreement when it is recognized that both sides are merely pounding the table as though all the stuff put on their walls by parents, coaches, religions, schools, TV, books, etc. is true?

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