Introduction
Video...
Emotional Freedom TechniquesWhere emotional relief brings physical health
Self help method often works where nothing else will No Drugs Involved ~ High Success Rate
The Palace of Possibilities
Using EFT to achieve one's potential
In this Section 12...
The Palace of Possibilities 33--Filling in the blanks
Hi Everyone,
An empty coke bottle was the star of a movie many years ago.
If you saw The Gods Must Be Crazy then you already know the many lessons it has for us. In that movie an empty coke bottle was thrown out of a small airplane while flying over a sparsely populated, "uncivilized" tribal land. The natives found it and, having no writing on their walls about coke bottles, were quite puzzled about it. They didn't know what to make of this strangely shaped thing with white curvy markings on it. Where did it come from? Did it grow on a tree? How could something so hard be so transparent?
To give this coke bottle meaning, the natives had to "fill in the blanks" as best they could from the writing on their walls. The natives made up all kinds of meanings for this "gift," including the assumption that it must be an omen from the Gods. It became a prized possession and various factions of the tribal community had fights over it. It caused so much stress and consternation that the natives finally concluded that the Gods must be crazy. So they threw it off of the edge of the world (a high cliff) in an effort to give it back to the Gods.
There is an old saying that goes, "Nothing has any meaning except the meaning we give it." I have found it quite useful over the years but wish to restate it now to fit within the Palace of Possibilities metaphor. Restated, it goes like this, "Nothing has any meaning except that which is written on our walls."
Indeed, our personal meaning for everything from a coke bottle to the Bible is written on our walls. This meaning includes, of course, the many shadings that reflect our personal experiences. Hand me a baseball, for example, and I will hold it fondly and recreate within myself the many great baseball memories that shaped my early years. Hand a baseball to someone else, however, and it will simply be an inanimate object that other people use to play a silly game. They may even greet it with disdain if it represents the rejection of not being chosen for the team. A baseball is a baseball. But the meaning we give to it can be widely different. It's all written on our walls.
It should be clear by now that we constantly consult the writing on our walls in order to derive meaning from the barrage of sensory data we receive all day long. Even as you read these words your system is asking, "what do these words mean" and, of course, you get a reflection from the writing on your walls that serves as your answer. Your system compares the words you are reading with your existing database of experiences, beliefs, etc. (writing on your walls) and interprets the words for you. This is subtle, of course. Very routine. We rarely give the process any more than a passing thought. But, like breathing, we do it all day long.
But what do we do when we come across something for which there is no writing on our walls? How do we make sense of it when our walls are blank on the subject? Simple. We do what the natives did with the coke bottle. We make up a meaning that fits as closely as possible within the "truth" that is already written on our walls. The resulting "meaning" is probably fictitious, of course, but that doesn't keep us from doing it. It is a human need to make meaning of the world around us and we will always (yes, I said always) do it in a manner that fits within our existing beliefs.
Observe children in this regard. They often come across new things (at least new to them) and they make up meanings for them by "filling in the blanks" from the limited writing on their walls. Thus an earthquake is a monster stopping its feet and Preparation H is what Grandpa uses for toothpaste. When children do this, we call it fantasy. But when we do this, we call it reality.
As adults, we don't often come across totally new items in our environment but we do experience partial information with great frequency. To give full meaning to this partial information we (like the children) fill in the blanks from the writing on our walls. The Vietnam Veteran who hears the word "war" fills in the blanks with a far different meaning than does the teenage videogame player. The victim of an abusive father fills in the blanks regarding Father's Day much differently than do others.
This is critically important to recognize because it is at the very center of emotional healing. Therapy clients are constantly filling in the blanks to make meaning of the world around them.
Listening to clients as they fill in the blanks leads to big clues regarding core issues. True healing on these issues is evidenced by how they fill in the blanks before and after using EFT. This is important. Very important. In some cases, listening to the changes in how clients fill in the blanks can be more useful than the 0-10 scale because it often points to more global healing. The 0-10 scale is quite useful, of course, but nothing is as useful as the cognition change that is evidenced by how the client fills in the blanks. That cognition change is the true bottom line.
Finally, there is a freedom involved in fully recognizing what we do with the writing on our walls. Recognizing that everyone (including ourselves) constantly consults that writing for their version of the "truth," leads to more peaceful understandings and forgiving attitudes. It helps us to stand back from disagreements and de-personalize other people's actions. After all, they're just spouting off what other people have written on their walls as though it was somehow the "truth." It allows us to smile at our own comedies and recognize our personal "limits" as being mental fictions that are little more than hand-me-down beliefs from previous generations of parents, teachers, peers, etc.
The peace that comes with this understanding serves to lower blood pressure, enhance relationships and enrich life. All that from a simple mental perception. Not bad, eh? Even the price is right.
Hugs, Gary
The Palace of Possibilities--Conclusion
Hi Everyone,
Have you noticed that, in this series, I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know? Sure, I may have pulled together a few concepts in a unique way and maybe I used some interesting metaphors. But the bottom line is that you already knew this material. I just brought to your attention things like....
1. Our consistent thoughts become our reality.
2. Our cans, can'ts, shoulds, shouldn'ts and other beliefs regarding our version of the "truth" were written on our walls by well meaning parents, peers, teachers, religions, TV, books, etc. Many elements of this "truth" are hand me down fictions that seem real and serve as our "limits."
3. We constantly consult the writing on our walls to make meaning of the things we see, hear, feel, etc.
4. It is much easier to see the writing on someone else's walls than it is to see the writing on our own. That's because our version of the "truth" is, indeed, the "truth" (at least to us). Everyone else's needs help.
5. Affirmations always work but we must be careful to discern the true affirmations. Often our true affirmations are the tail enders (or yes buts) that show up at the end of an otherwise positive affirmation.
6. EFT is an impressive tool for ridding oneself of tail enders. Without it, people are likely to keep affirming their tail enders and stay stuck where they are. They will thus think that affirmations don't work when, in fact, they are working beautifully.
6. Dreams don't always come true but they DO take us in directions.
7. The way to do whatever we want to do already exists. We need only tune into it. Our antenna will find the "how" for us. This antenna (our brain's reticular formation) is one of our greatest gifts. We need only establish an important goal to activate it.
8. Our words have great power. The habitual use of emotional words causes mini-experiences within us and conditions us in the direction of those words.
We live in a Palace of Possibilities. We always have and we always will. The joys and abundance available throughout the Palace are our birthright. We have been conditioned otherwise, of course, by all that has been written on our walls.
This writing contains many "limits," including things like: (1) we are too old or too young to venture into some areas of the Palace (2) women are limited in the business world (by the "cellophane ceiling"), (3) certain ethnic groups should know their place, (4) to become financially wealthy we must be lucky or greedy, (5) we should grow up and quit dreaming because dreams are for kids, (6) children should be seen and not heard even when they become adults, (7) love is something we must seek from external sources rather than something that is generated within, (8) we should never stand out in a crowd because other people will judge us, (9) our opinion doesn't count unless we have a consensus behind us, (10) we must have a license and a long list of credentials to be respected as a therapist.
Some of these things seem real, of course, but that "realness" is nothing more than the fictional writing on our walls. All of this so called "reality" has been violated many times by people whose main tool was simply a goal supported by their dreams and affirmations. The way to do anything you want to do already exists. You need only tune into it.
There is another dimension to our existence that we tend to overlook because it is not contained within the familiar three dimensions of space. It is the dimension of thought. Thoughts are things. They have no limits unless we choose to limit them ourselves. We can imagine anything. We can dream things and make missions out of them. No telling how far they will take us. How exciting! How awesome! Thoughts move and shape our individual worlds as well as the world around us. Thoughts make things happen and....
....our consistent thoughts become our reality.
Love to all, Gary
