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Deepak Chopra, MD
"EFT offers great healing benefits."
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques®) Where emotional relief brings physical health
Self help method often works where nothing else will No Drugs Involved ~ High Success Rate
EFT Resources
The Palace of Possibilities
Using EFT to achieve one's potential
In this Section 6...
- The Palace of Possibilities 13--More responses from Members
- The Palace of Possibilities 14--Money: Perceived barriers or "impossibilities"
- The Palace of Possibilities 15--The world's greatest psychotherapist
The Palace of Possibilities 13--More responses from Members
Hi Everyone,
Here are some recent responses from our Members, together with some of my comments. I think you will find this useful.
Hugs, Gary
FROM MARK KEARNS
If I am getting the meaning of your river of money segment, then money is nothing more than one of the physical extensions of spiritual energy. If this is so, I would be hard pressed to try to accept one and reject the other.
GC: Good point! Money is like love. It can flow freely within and around us or we can block it by our attitudes, beliefs and other writings on our walls.
We have a fascinating relationship with money and have many judgments about it. Some of us think we have to work hard to get it and we believe that if others don't work hard then they must have come by their money dishonestly. Others think that only greedy people accumulate it or that one has to step on others if one wants to get more than their "fair share." Sometimes we judge rich people because they have too much money and then turn right around and judge poor people because they have too little. Sometimes we resent rich people because we think they are lucky or have something we don't and then, at the same time, resent poor people because they are "on the public dole." Conflicts over money can destroy friendships on the one hand and cause us to "kiss up" on the other.
Money, money, money. Our attitudes about it are filled with dissonance. It's an emotional subject because our security seems to be tied to it. We need to "keep up with the Jones's" and yet we sometimes criticize the Jones's for what they have or how they use it. Our own Mercedes can bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment. Someone else's Mercedes can be intimidating to us.
You know what is really interesting about our relationship with money? It is one sided. Money has no emotions or judgments whatsoever about us even though we have many emotions and judgments about it. Money has no idea what our attitudes are about it. Further, it doesn't care. It doesn't give one twit about the financial writing on our walls. Our trials, tribulations, conflicts, etc. about money are all our own "inside jobs." In truth, we have no relationship with money. Instead, we have a unilateral relationship within ourselves *about* money. Our fiscal beliefs were written on our walls by our parents, teachers, preachers and society in general. We read this writing constantly. It is our "truth" about money even though it is a fairy tale. It is waiting to be erased and replaced.
FROM RALPH WALKER
I just came home from a matinee viewing of "A Simple Plan," which was brilliantly done, and frightening.....and the story was how utterly the discovery of the $4,400,000 in cold cash in the crashed plane found in the snow made for the total corruption of the finders and of others connected with them! A "heavy" moral lesson about the evils of money!
AND then, online, was your lesson #12!
And, that movie, together with "Fargo" some months back, probably put a lot of "bad" money writings on people's walls! I even found myself "buying in" to some degree today...and then thought: "Hey, there you go, back into that 'money as the root of evil' thing!"
GC: Our movies, books, TV, etc. are loaded with negative writings for our financial walls. They often have a "message" about how money corrupts and how it instigates crime or destroys families. Money doesn't do any of these things. It is how people respond to money that brings all this about. Interestingly enough, there is plenty of evidence of the good that money can do. It is all around us. There are b'zillions of dollars in charitable foundations in constant search of ways to spread healing throughout the world. There is a major story in that. However, a movie titled "The BigBucks foundation that gives to the down & out" wouldn't sell well at the box office. Touching stories of financial giving are everywhere but they don't often make it into the media.
Our perceptions about money (most of it illusory) have been written on our walls (mostly by non-experts) ever since we were two feet tall. I call this questionable bit of wisdom the financial "nitty gritty for the itty bitty." This programming is very expensive and most of us pay for it throughout our entire lives. It's all erasable and replaceable, of course, but the first step is to recognize the fiscal fiction within.
FROM BARRY JAY
Just a note of thanks to say that I am deeply touched by your piece on affirmations. You have articulated something I have been feeling and doing only on an inconsistent basis. By saying this so directly and clearly, you have given me a structure, and ' psychological permission' to focus on affirmations in a regular way. I am truly becoming the ultimate therapist.
GC: Thanks for this. Actually, we are constantly doing affirmations. They show up in our self talk and our everyday conversations and serve to keep us "where we are." It is only when we take charge of the process that we can become the conductor of our own symphony, the author of our own book.
FROM MARY SHERIDAN
Thanks for the Palace. In your experience, how many affirmations/goals are optimal at any one time? Is it best to focus on just one thing at a time, or is juggling multiple goals just as effective?
GC: This is a personal choice. I have tended to do only one or two at a time but I know people who put together 10 or 20 and do them all at once. It depends on your enthusiasm and how big your WANTS are.
FROM VIRGINIA SABEDRA
Loving your posts. Your lemon demo is great and I use it with my clients & class participants as well. The following is something I also give my clients and/or class participants. You've probably already seen it, but here it is anyway.
- Watch your thoughts; they become words.
- Watch your words; they become actions.
- Watch your actions; they become habits.
- Watch your habits; they become character.
- Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
by Frank Outlaw
FINALLY, HERE ARE SOME MORE THOUGHTS ON AFFIRMATIONS FROM PAT CARRINGTON
The ‘Palace’ continues to be an outstanding piece of work -- absolutely the best thing I’ve seen yet on affirmations.
I’d like to add some words about your point re: the "pulling power" of affirmations. I agree with your observation in spades! Affirmations must "pull" to be effective. A dull affirmation is like a dull ad -- you just skip over it, don’t attend to it, and it has negligible impact. In fact, an affirmation IS a sort of ad, made up by you for yourself as consumer. The person who must be sold is YOU -- you’ve got to buy into the goal you are trying to bring about.
This concept has led me to try to make the language of an affirmation (or "Choice" , the form in which I usually cast them) as colorful, appealing and attention-getting as it can possibly be. This has worked beautifully for many people. Here’s how I go about it.
Wherever possible, if it doesn’t rob the affirmation of its basic punch which sometimes comes from using a few short, strong words sparingly, I add a carefully selected adjective or adjectives to make the affirmation as appealing as possible. I want it to draw the person like a magnet toward the goal they seek. The repeating of the affirmation should be a source of so much pleasure that the person wants to keep saying it over and over simply because it’s so enjoyable to do so.
Here’s what I mean:
Suppose someone wants to be more effective in communicating with a family member who tends to find it difficult to pay attention to what this person says. An appropriate affirmation might be:
"I communicate in a way that gets my points across to X." This in itself might be a very effective affirmation and no change might be needed.
However, a more "pulling" version might be:
" I find a creative way to get my points across to X." (The word "creative" adds a touch of suspense here -- what, we may wonder, would a "creative way" to do that be? )
And we might add another kind of appeal by saying:
"I surprise myself by finding ingenious ways to get my points across to X." ("Surprise" is a word that can draw us to an affirmation. "Ingenious" piques our curiosity and is intriguingly positive).
To take another tack, we might make the affirmation "pull" by stating it this way:
"I find it easy and enjoyable to get my points across to X."
The word "easy" is a great way to make an affirmation effective because we tend to make everything we do much harder for ourselves than it need be -- a kind of grim task -- but when it becomes easier, then we DO that task. (I’m making it easy for myself to write these comments right now by using this "easy" affirmation -- it feels great! )
Along these lines, one of the most useful All-Purpose affirmations I know was suggested to me some years ago by a friend of mine who told a colleague who was anxious about grasping the principles of a course they were both taking, to "Let it be easy John" and it worked like a charm. John relaxed and enjoyed taking the course from that point on.
This is the all-purpose affirmation about ease:
Stated as a command: "Let it be easy."
or
"I let it be easy.",
or
stated as a Choice: "I choose to let it be easy."
This affirmation can be applied to almost anything to make our lives more livable and fun. I use it all the time and it has radically changed the way I go about a lot of things -- in fact, right now I’ve just decided that I should use it MORE in my daily life.
Another word than can add a strong appeal to an affirmation is the word "fun" -- as in:
"I find it FUN to exercise on my treadmill."
or
"I find it FUN to think up new ideas for the project.".
We love anything that’s fun. It draws us irresistibly.
Other ways to add "sex appeal" to an affirmation is to use adjectives such as:
- comfortable
- delightful
- ingenious
- creative
- safe etc.
- or others -- to describe the behavior or outcome we seek.
Once you get the hang of spicing up affirmations you’ll be inventing endless ways of making your desired goal draw you irresistibly to it. When you do that, half the battle is won.
Gary, I’m thrilled that you’re giving affirmations the real place of honor that they deserve! What a book this is going to be!
The Palace of Possibilities 14--Money: Perceived barriers or "impossibilities"
Hi Everyone,
I just had a lengthy phone call with Barbara Kantner who wrote me the message below. Very productive. The essence of her query has to do with money and some of her perceived barriers, or "impossibilities", regarding it.
I’ve been waiting patiently for something like this. I know that out of the hundreds of readers on this list there are many who give a mighty "harumph" when they read my ideas about creating abundance through affirmations, daydreams and other forms of thought. I am sure that some consider me unrealistic, out of touch, Pollyanna, etc. Please let me hear from you. Give me your "yes but’s." Tell me where the Palace principles fall short and let me respond. Tell me where you have a problem with any of this. Give me "what if’s" and challenges. Don’t just sit there and read. If you resist, let me know. This is how we learn. Please include your phone number in case I need to call you.
My responses to Barbara are interspersed within her message which, by the way, was very tactfully and respectfully submitted. We all owe her a thank you for being the first to bring up such a challenge.
Hugs, Gary
FROM BARBARA KANTNER
Hi Gary, I'm also loving your Palace writings and all your thoughts about affirmations are stunning. I, like so many, have tended to dismiss them as "flaky" and "unrealistic" and therefore haven't given them a chance. To combine them with tapping out the tail enders is just brilliant.
Re money. I agree with much of what you and others have written, but there's something in all this that makes me uncomfortable. I think it is the fact that we are all well-fed, well-clothed, well-housed, well-educated, highly privileged members of the human race (for whatever reason--too big a subject there!). Even my "poor" clients on welfare rarely lack what is considered in other parts of the world to be an unimaginably luxurious lifestyle--heat, running water, refrigeration, personal TV, home telephone service, and so on. I've done a fair amount of traveling—South and Central America, Russia and FSU, India--and have seen up close and personal what it's like to live in the Third World, or whatever we want to call it. I am also keenly interested in environmental issues with their multitude of ramifications.
The sticking point for me in the "let's all have as much money as we deserve/desire" is that if I do, if ALL of us do, if ALL of us here in the US and Western Europe do, if ALL of the "wealthy" people living all around the world continue to live in the way that we are accustomed to, or aspire to in a MATERIAL sense, there is simply no way that everyone else can follow in our footsteps. The "carrying capacity" of the earth is simply not great enough. There are, unfortunately, very real limits to growth.
GC: I acknowledge all of this. Indeed, there are challenges all over the globe. Hunger, poverty, war and material inequities are but a few of them.
They are all in need of change. The question is, how do you change them? Do you enact laws? Will they do the job? How do laws alone affect change? Can we, for example, pass a law in the U.S. prohibiting poverty and expect it to go away?
Lasting change begins with a thought. It simmers awhile and then gathers momentum. Sometimes it becomes a mission. Gandhi had a mission. Abraham Lincoln had a mission. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a mission (he called it a dream). These are all thoughts. Change begins with thoughts. This is true whether we want to change social structures or our own income.
BARBARA CONTINUES: Now, I deeply believe that there are many other and better and more sustainable ways to do things like heat our homes, grow our food, transport ourselves around, etc. than the massively wasteful ways we do those things now, but there are very serious problems to getting from here to there. Not to be pessimistic, just "realistic." We do have to realize that for most of us here in the US, our "money", our wealth in a broader sense (material wealth) does ride on the backs of poor people, desperately poor people, in other parts of the world. Or on the backs of the unsuspecting animals and plants that happen to be living where mining, logging, polluting, killing, etc. is taking place. That unfortunately is how this great engine of capitalistic prosperity that we so enjoy the fruits of is fueled.
GC: Yes! All of this is true. It is "realistic." In many instances (not always) we do generate our material wealth in "massively wasteful" ways and sometimes (not always) we do so on the "backs of poor people" as well as that of plants & animals. Yes! Yes! Yes! Who could possibly argue to the contrary?
However, I spy an unnecessary "limit" here. A personal one, Barbara, that is reflected in your written words as well as those we spoke of on the phone. When it comes to creating extra income for yourself, I see some writing on your walls that says something like, "It is unethical to make too much money because it is being done at the expense of poor people and our environment." Hey! No criticism here. That is a very common type of tail ender. Thanks for letting me share it with the list.
Remember, though, money is inert and has no opinions about anything. It is completely unaware of, and doesn’t care about, our individual attitudes toward it. It just is. Some people pursue it relentlessly out of their own insecurity and seek to pile it up regardless of what their pursuits do to the environment or other people. If they care at all, they just rationalize it away.
Other people, like you, can use it in productive ways. You do not have to do it "at the expense of poor people and our environment." You can, instead, finance environmental awareness with it. You can bring about programs designed to make a shift toward change and equality for all. You can finance spiritual growth if you want. More money gives you more options. Whether you choose to go the route of the greedy plunderer or the spiritual altruist is up to you. However, as long as you equate the generation of ALL financial abundance with environmental insults and taking advantage of the poor, you will be stopped in your pursuits. This tail ender will keep you "where you are" and "limit" you to just talking about the problem instead of generating enough money to help finance your efforts at being a true force for change. Money is neither good nor evil. It is a form of energy. It can be used either greedily or spiritually. It provides options, that’s all. What you do with those options is up to you.
BARBARA CONTINUES: So where does this leave me? I'm not sure how all this comes out in the wash, just that I struggle with it all. How does one live sustainably and lightly from one's deepest ethical principles (and informed scientific understanding) and, at the same time, not allow oneself to slide into a psychology of deprivation and asceticism. That is just as unhealthy, obviously--to go about being grim-faced and moralistic, refusing to heat or drive or eat anything that doesn't come from one's own acreage, etc. Either end of the spectrum can catch one up just as nastily as its opposite. . . .
GC: Living "sustainably and lightly from one’s deepest ethical principles" has nothing to do, in my experience, with how much money one has. It only seems that way. Once you get behind that notion, however, and recognize that this link is simply a fiction written on your walls, you take your first steps out of that confining room into the more expansive rooms that await you in the Palace of Possibilities.
Ethical bankruptcy, to me, has nothing to do with one’s material wealth. Are there unethical poor people in the world? Sure! They lie, cheat and steal just like their rich counterparts. Are there spiritually oriented poor people in the world? Sure again! They honor and love others just like their rich counterparts--just like you.
Barbara, the love and energy behind your concerns are obvious and are clearly reflected in your writing. We need more people with your motivation. Perhaps this is true "mission material" for you. If so, you might start with an affirmation like, "I am a loving and financial conduit for healing change in this world." Then daydream about it. Imagine yourself vividly in this place. What would you see, hear and feel if you were actually there now? Have fun with it. Dream. Be a kid. Let your antenna show you the many opportunities available to you. Be silly. Go beyond your own version of "reality." No telling what you might find.
The Palace of Possibilities 15--The world's greatest psychotherapist
Hi Everyone,
I’ve had many requests to go over the details of the affirmation & daydreaming process that led to the sizeable increase in my income. I will do that next time. But first, I need to share with you some background information that relates to what is to come.
It has been my privilege to know, and be shaped by, the world’s greatest psychotherapist. Interestingly, she has no formal training in psychotherapy whatsoever and has no grasp of "therapese" terms such as secondary gains, PTSD and the like. In fact, I don’t think she has ever read a book on psychology. She didn’t graduate from high school either. That’s because she gave birth to me while she was still 16!!
Mom is my greatest gift. Long before I ever thought of The Palace of Possibilities, Mom was writing good stuff on my walls. It was non-stop, too. Every time I did anything that was even remotely meritorious, Mom was genuinely astonished. And, over and over again, she told me so in glowing terms. It was unbelievable to her that she could have given birth to such an immensely "talented" child even though, in truth, I was born with no more than the standard raw material. Perhaps it was because she came from a very poor family of four children and no father. Perhaps it was because her mother told those children (including Mom) that she wished they were never born and resented having to scrub floors to support the family by herself. Perhaps it was because Mom always felt inadequate because she couldn’t afford underwear and was ridiculed and unwanted by the other children in school. She often sat by herself in a remote corner of the playground during recess.
I remember coming home from school one day (I was in the third grade) and telling Mom, with pride, that I got third place in a spelling bee. Now, admittedly, that is a reasonably good accomplishment from a class of about 25 students. But to Mom it was yet another of an endless string of achievements by "Wonder Boy." She told our neighbors and friends, of course, and for the next couple of months adult visitors would ask Wonder Boy things like, "How do you spell garage?" I would perform, of course, to yet more accolades.
This kind of thing went on constantly as I was growing up. Mom came to every sports event of mine and sang my praises regardless of how I performed. So did Dad, although he was less vocal than Mom. Even on a bad day, Mom would point out the positive to me. She would say things like, "See, if it wasn’t for you catching that line drive in the fourth inning, the score would have been worse. You don’t see the wondrous things you do."
That’s how I grew up. Sure, I was spanked a few times for misbehaving but it was never because I was bad. It was always because my behavior needed correction. I was always clear about that distinction. Also, even though I’m sure it probably happened, I have no recollection of ever being yelled at by my parents. The positive writing on my walls was so profuse and far reaching that the negative rarely touched me for very long.
How would you like to have Wonder Boy (or Girl) written on your walls in HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS? Would that induce belief in yourself? Would it influence your ability to flow freely within this world? Would you tend to live up to this image of yourself and create a world around you that mirrors your own beliefs. Sure. This is what we all do. So do our clients. If you want to know what has shaped someone, just read what’s on their walls.
The writing on our walls, however it got there, is our version of the "truth" about ourselves and the world around us. When we are young, the writing is done by others, particularly by our parents. Our parents, then, are often our most important psychotherapists. Their handwriting is all over our psyches. When that writing is supportive, as mine was, we tend to focus on possibilities rather than problems. The words, "can’t" and "should" have limited effect on us. We buy into fewer "limits." I’ll say it again. Mom is my greatest gift.
I tell you all this because when I formally used affirmations & day dreaming to increase my income, I didn’t have much in the way of EFT’able traumas, beliefs, phobias or the like to deal with. In fact, this was years before EFT was even thought of. I simply overwrote my negative writing with a large dose of the positive.
So, my upcoming financial application of "Palace Principles" will be without the EFT piece. Although it wasn’t critical in my case, it will likely be necessary for many clients. My example will, instead, be the pure use of affirmations & daydreaming. Properly done it is very powerful.
Until next time…
Hugs, Gary
P.S. Mom doesn’t know how to use computers so she isn’t on this email forum. I will print this out and give it to her. I’m sure she will appreciate her title as "The world’s greatest psychotherapist." However, I can reasonably predict that she will respond with something like, "Oh Honey, you write so well. See how much good you do?"
Isn’t she wonderful? What a gift!
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