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The Palace of Possibilities

Using EFT to achieve one's potential

In this Section 6...

• The Palace of Possibilities 13--More responses from Members
• The Palace of Possibilities 14--Money: Perceived barriers or "impossibilities"
• The Palace of Possibilities 15--The world's greatest psychotherapist

The Palace of Possibilities 13--More responses from Members

Hi Everyone,

Here are some recent responses from our Members, together with some of my comments. I think you will find this useful.

Hugs, Gary

GC: Good point! Money is like love. It can flow freely within and around us or we can block it by our attitudes, beliefs and other writings on our walls.

We have a fascinating relationship with money and have many judgments about it. Some of us think we have to work hard to get it and we believe that if others don't work hard then they must have come by their money dishonestly. Others think that only greedy people accumulate it or that one has to step on others if one wants to get more than their "fair share." Sometimes we judge rich people because they have too much money and then turn right around and judge poor people because they have too little. Sometimes we resent rich people because we think they are lucky or have something we don't and then, at the same time, resent poor people because they are "on the public dole." Conflicts over money can destroy friendships on the one hand and cause us to "kiss up" on the other.

Money, money, money. Our attitudes about it are filled with dissonance. It's an emotional subject because our security seems to be tied to it. We need to "keep up with the Jones's" and yet we sometimes criticize the Jones's for what they have or how they use it. Our own Mercedes can bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment. Someone else's Mercedes can be intimidating to us.

You know what is really interesting about our relationship with money? It is one sided. Money has no emotions or judgments whatsoever about us even though we have many emotions and judgments about it. Money has no idea what our attitudes are about it. Further, it doesn't care. It doesn't give one twit about the financial writing on our walls. Our trials, tribulations, conflicts, etc. about money are all our own "inside jobs." In truth, we have no relationship with money. Instead, we have a unilateral relationship within ourselves *about* money. Our fiscal beliefs were written on our walls by our parents, teachers, preachers and society in general. We read this writing constantly. It is our "truth" about money even though it is a fairy tale. It is waiting to be erased and replaced.

GC: Our movies, books, TV, etc. are loaded with negative writings for our financial walls. They often have a "message" about how money corrupts and how it instigates crime or destroys families. Money doesn't do any of these things. It is how people respond to money that brings all this about. Interestingly enough, there is plenty of evidence of the good that money can do. It is all around us. There are b'zillions of dollars in charitable foundations in constant search of ways to spread healing throughout the world. There is a major story in that. However, a movie titled "The BigBucks foundation that gives to the down & out" wouldn't sell well at the box office. Touching stories of financial giving are everywhere but they don't often make it into the media.

Our perceptions about money (most of it illusory) have been written on our walls (mostly by non-experts) ever since we were two feet tall. I call this questionable bit of wisdom the financial "nitty gritty for the itty bitty." This programming is very expensive and most of us pay for it throughout our entire lives. It's all erasable and replaceable, of course, but the first step is to recognize the fiscal fiction within.

GC: Thanks for this. Actually, we are constantly doing affirmations. They show up in our self talk and our everyday conversations and serve to keep us "where we are." It is only when we take charge of the process that we can become the conductor of our own symphony, the author of our own book.

GC: This is a personal choice. I have tended to do only one or two at a time but I know people who put together 10 or 20 and do them all at once. It depends on your enthusiasm and how big your WANTS are.

FINALLY, HERE ARE SOME MORE THOUGHTS ON AFFIRMATIONS FROM PAT CARRINGTON

The Palace of Possibilities 14--Money: Perceived barriers or "impossibilities"

Hi Everyone,

I just had a lengthy phone call with Barbara Kantner who wrote me the message below. Very productive. The essence of her query has to do with money and some of her perceived barriers, or "impossibilities", regarding it.

I’ve been waiting patiently for something like this. I know that out of the hundreds of readers on this list there are many who give a mighty "harumph" when they read my ideas about creating abundance through affirmations, daydreams and other forms of thought. I am sure that some consider me unrealistic, out of touch, Pollyanna, etc. Please let me hear from you. Give me your "yes but’s." Tell me where the Palace principles fall short and let me respond. Tell me where you have a problem with any of this. Give me "what if’s" and challenges. Don’t just sit there and read. If you resist, let me know. This is how we learn. Please include your phone number in case I need to call you.

My responses to Barbara are interspersed within her message which, by the way, was very tactfully and respectfully submitted. We all owe her a thank you for being the first to bring up such a challenge.

Hugs, Gary

GC: I acknowledge all of this. Indeed, there are challenges all over the globe. Hunger, poverty, war and material inequities are but a few of them.

They are all in need of change. The question is, how do you change them? Do you enact laws? Will they do the job? How do laws alone affect change? Can we, for example, pass a law in the U.S. prohibiting poverty and expect it to go away?

Lasting change begins with a thought. It simmers awhile and then gathers momentum. Sometimes it becomes a mission. Gandhi had a mission. Abraham Lincoln had a mission. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a mission (he called it a dream). These are all thoughts. Change begins with thoughts. This is true whether we want to change social structures or our own income.

GC: Yes! All of this is true. It is "realistic." In many instances (not always) we do generate our material wealth in "massively wasteful" ways and sometimes (not always) we do so on the "backs of poor people" as well as that of plants & animals. Yes! Yes! Yes! Who could possibly argue to the contrary?

However, I spy an unnecessary "limit" here. A personal one, Barbara, that is reflected in your written words as well as those we spoke of on the phone. When it comes to creating extra income for yourself, I see some writing on your walls that says something like, "It is unethical to make too much money because it is being done at the expense of poor people and our environment." Hey! No criticism here. That is a very common type of tail ender. Thanks for letting me share it with the list.

Remember, though, money is inert and has no opinions about anything. It is completely unaware of, and doesn’t care about, our individual attitudes toward it. It just is. Some people pursue it relentlessly out of their own insecurity and seek to pile it up regardless of what their pursuits do to the environment or other people. If they care at all, they just rationalize it away.

Other people, like you, can use it in productive ways. You do not have to do it "at the expense of poor people and our environment." You can, instead, finance environmental awareness with it. You can bring about programs designed to make a shift toward change and equality for all. You can finance spiritual growth if you want. More money gives you more options. Whether you choose to go the route of the greedy plunderer or the spiritual altruist is up to you. However, as long as you equate the generation of ALL financial abundance with environmental insults and taking advantage of the poor, you will be stopped in your pursuits. This tail ender will keep you "where you are" and "limit" you to just talking about the problem instead of generating enough money to help finance your efforts at being a true force for change. Money is neither good nor evil. It is a form of energy. It can be used either greedily or spiritually. It provides options, that’s all. What you do with those options is up to you.

GC: Living "sustainably and lightly from one’s deepest ethical principles" has nothing to do, in my experience, with how much money one has. It only seems that way. Once you get behind that notion, however, and recognize that this link is simply a fiction written on your walls, you take your first steps out of that confining room into the more expansive rooms that await you in the Palace of Possibilities.

Ethical bankruptcy, to me, has nothing to do with one’s material wealth. Are there unethical poor people in the world? Sure! They lie, cheat and steal just like their rich counterparts. Are there spiritually oriented poor people in the world? Sure again! They honor and love others just like their rich counterparts--just like you.

Barbara, the love and energy behind your concerns are obvious and are clearly reflected in your writing. We need more people with your motivation. Perhaps this is true "mission material" for you. If so, you might start with an affirmation like, "I am a loving and financial conduit for healing change in this world." Then daydream about it. Imagine yourself vividly in this place. What would you see, hear and feel if you were actually there now? Have fun with it. Dream. Be a kid. Let your antenna show you the many opportunities available to you. Be silly. Go beyond your own version of "reality." No telling what you might find.

The Palace of Possibilities 15--The world's greatest psychotherapist

Hi Everyone,

I’ve had many requests to go over the details of the affirmation & daydreaming process that led to the sizeable increase in my income. I will do that next time. But first, I need to share with you some background information that relates to what is to come.

It has been my privilege to know, and be shaped by, the world’s greatest psychotherapist. Interestingly, she has no formal training in psychotherapy whatsoever and has no grasp of "therapese" terms such as secondary gains, PTSD and the like. In fact, I don’t think she has ever read a book on psychology. She didn’t graduate from high school either. That’s because she gave birth to me while she was still 16!!

Mom is my greatest gift. Long before I ever thought of The Palace of Possibilities, Mom was writing good stuff on my walls. It was non-stop, too. Every time I did anything that was even remotely meritorious, Mom was genuinely astonished. And, over and over again, she told me so in glowing terms. It was unbelievable to her that she could have given birth to such an immensely "talented" child even though, in truth, I was born with no more than the standard raw material. Perhaps it was because she came from a very poor family of four children and no father. Perhaps it was because her mother told those children (including Mom) that she wished they were never born and resented having to scrub floors to support the family by herself. Perhaps it was because Mom always felt inadequate because she couldn’t afford underwear and was ridiculed and unwanted by the other children in school. She often sat by herself in a remote corner of the playground during recess.

I remember coming home from school one day (I was in the third grade) and telling Mom, with pride, that I got third place in a spelling bee. Now, admittedly, that is a reasonably good accomplishment from a class of about 25 students. But to Mom it was yet another of an endless string of achievements by "Wonder Boy." She told our neighbors and friends, of course, and for the next couple of months adult visitors would ask Wonder Boy things like, "How do you spell garage?" I would perform, of course, to yet more accolades.

This kind of thing went on constantly as I was growing up. Mom came to every sports event of mine and sang my praises regardless of how I performed. So did Dad, although he was less vocal than Mom. Even on a bad day, Mom would point out the positive to me. She would say things like, "See, if it wasn’t for you catching that line drive in the fourth inning, the score would have been worse. You don’t see the wondrous things you do."

That’s how I grew up. Sure, I was spanked a few times for misbehaving but it was never because I was bad. It was always because my behavior needed correction. I was always clear about that distinction. Also, even though I’m sure it probably happened, I have no recollection of ever being yelled at by my parents. The positive writing on my walls was so profuse and far reaching that the negative rarely touched me for very long.

How would you like to have Wonder Boy (or Girl) written on your walls in HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS? Would that induce belief in yourself? Would it influence your ability to flow freely within this world? Would you tend to live up to this image of yourself and create a world around you that mirrors your own beliefs. Sure. This is what we all do. So do our clients. If you want to know what has shaped someone, just read what’s on their walls.

The writing on our walls, however it got there, is our version of the "truth" about ourselves and the world around us. When we are young, the writing is done by others, particularly by our parents. Our parents, then, are often our most important psychotherapists. Their handwriting is all over our psyches. When that writing is supportive, as mine was, we tend to focus on possibilities rather than problems. The words, "can’t" and "should" have limited effect on us. We buy into fewer "limits." I’ll say it again. Mom is my greatest gift.

I tell you all this because when I formally used affirmations & day dreaming to increase my income, I didn’t have much in the way of EFT’able traumas, beliefs, phobias or the like to deal with. In fact, this was years before EFT was even thought of. I simply overwrote my negative writing with a large dose of the positive.

So, my upcoming financial application of "Palace Principles" will be without the EFT piece. Although it wasn’t critical in my case, it will likely be necessary for many clients. My example will, instead, be the pure use of affirmations & daydreaming. Properly done it is very powerful.

Until next time…

Hugs, Gary

P.S. Mom doesn’t know how to use computers so she isn’t on this email forum. I will print this out and give it to her. I’m sure she will appreciate her title as "The world’s greatest psychotherapist." However, I can reasonably predict that she will respond with something like, "Oh Honey, you write so well. See how much good you do?"

Isn’t she wonderful? What a gift!

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