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Glenda:  Ritual abuse--"I'm too damaged to heal."

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Hi Everyone,

This is for serious students.

It is a complete transcription of a 45 minute telephone session I had with a ritual abuse victim ("Glenda") regarding one of her many flashbacks.

Ritual abuse, as professionals are quite aware, is one of the most intense experiences a person can have. Conventional techniques are unable to do much with it and tend toward "containing" rather than relieving it. Fortunately, tapping can unload these memories one by one and provide far better relief than heretofore known.

I suggest you print this session out for study because it contains the following important features of the "art of delivery."

• 1. Taking the issue apart into various aspects.
• 2. Watching aspects shift.
• 3. Being specific.
• 4. Reframing.
• 5. Approaching emotional issues from their physical symptoms.

Hugs, Gary

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Gary: First of all, you've had the experience of ritual abuse.

Glenda: Right, correct.

Gary: How old are you now?

Glenda: I am 56.

Gary: You've been spending time with a therapist using EFT over the last 2 or 3 years?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: The therapist is out of town and you called me and the phrase you used to describe your current issue was "I'm too damaged to heal." What does that mean?

Glenda: Part of the abuse was using electric shock and then they would embed thoughts within me by using repetitive statements and that was one of the things they would tell me. "You'll never heal, you'll never heal, you're too damaged to heal."

Gary: Oh, they would say that. I see, that wasn't something that you've developed recently.

Glenda: No, no.

Gary: What I was perceiving when you first told me that, was that as time had gone on, with EFT, etc., that you weren't making the headway you wanted and therefore you were too damaged to heal.

Glenda: Well, I imagine that my fear feeds that. Do you know what I mean? When I get discouraged and so forth, I would think my fear would feed that.

Gary: Sure.

Glenda: But it was planted there by the perpetrators.

Gary: How long have you been using EFT?

Glenda: I think since the beginning of '97.

Gary: So we're talking three years or more?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: Actually four years.

Glenda: Yes, that's right.

Gary: So in that time have you had any events that you've tapped on, any pieces of the "damage" if you will, that has been improved?

Glenda: Oh,  my yes.

Gary: I mean like lots?

Glenda: Oh, yes. Many, many. When I have a flashback I never have the same flashback again.

Gary: Let me get behind that a second. When you have a flashback, after you have tapped on a flashback, then you never have that flashback again?

Glenda: Right, right.

Gary: You have other flashbacks?

Glenda: Correct. I may get another piece of information about the same one, but never the exact same picture.

Gary: It's like a different aspect?

Glenda: A different part of it, yes.

Gary: So it's a matter of being detective and picking out, isolating these various aspects, various trees in the negative forest if you will, using EFT. And then that's no longer in your forest.

Glenda: That's right.

Gary: You still have many more tress.

Glenda: Unfortunately.

Gary: Some of them big redwoods.

Glenda: Yes. I feel like they're bigger than me. And I don't like that feeling.

Gary: Of course not. What I want to get to for the moment is the logic of the statement "You are too damaged to heal." Now I understand that emotionally it has a drag on you. So that's the way it feels. I want to get beyond or outside of the way it feels for the moment, to the logic of it. I understand the way it feels counts more than the logic but I want to test the logic with you just for a second. If you have used EFT and you have successfully taken care of many, many flashbacks does that not suggest that what you need to do is to keep on going down the same path?

Glenda: Oh, absolutely.

Gary: And hence you will heal.

Glenda: Correct.

Gary: Logically. Do you have any problem with that logic?

Glenda: No.

Gary: No problem at all?

Glenda: No.

Gary: So then give me the logic if you will behind the emotional response "I am too damaged to heal."

Glenda: I don't know that there is logic. I think it's more fear, that I can't do it alone.

Gary: That you can't do it alone.

Glenda: I can't heal myself alone.

Gary: Well, you're working with a therapist. Is that the same as doing it alone?

Glenda: No, but she's away right now.

Gary: Well, right now.

Glenda: She's not going to be back until the first of March, and I just didn't want to wait that long. When things come up like that, they want to be healed.

Gary: Sure.

Glenda: It's been like a week, and I'm like "help!"

Gary: So as this week has gone by, you've had flashbacks of one kind or another, is that what we're talking about?

Glenda: Yes. This started a week ago Saturday, with a flashback and then I had another one on Sunday. I actually had two on Sunday and there's one I haven't been able to get through.

Gary: With four years of experience I presume by now you know how to apply EFT to yourself?

Glenda: Correct.

Gary: So when these flashbacks occur do I assume correctly that you apply EFT?

Glenda: Oh, absolutely.

Gary: With results or not?

Glenda: Well the first two, yes.

Gary: With complete results? Like the flashbacks don't happen any more?

Glenda: Well, those particular ones, yes. They're gone, they're history, they're healed.

Gary: So those are fine. Those particular specific flashbacks?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: But is there one or more that you weren't able to do on your own?

Glenda: This one.

Gary: One specific one.

Glenda: You are too damaged to heal or you would never heal. It would come in different ways.

Gary: Is that a flashback?

Glenda: Yes. See the thought started coming to me and then I started digging around inside me and there wasn't a place where I'd leave that, that I could find. And then this flashback came.

Gary: I need to draw a distinction here because your definition of flashback may be different than mine. You're the one that has them so I need to explore this with you. To me, my understanding of a flashback would be like a memory of some abusive or torturous event in the past that would scare you.

Glenda: That's true, right.

Gary: But this one comes up not as a tortuous or abusive event in the past, but rather as a belief? Am I correct?

Glenda: Well, I had a picture of this being ... somebody saying this to me. So to me that would make it a flashback ... .but I think I have bought it as a belief.

Gary: It's a picture of someone saying something to you? It's not a picture of a tortuous event?

Glenda: Well, the electric shock was torture, yes.

Gary: What does electric shock have to do with "you're too damaged to heal"?

Glenda: Well they would tell me that when I was hooked up to their little machine.

Gary: I see. So "you are too damaged to heal", that memory, that flashback goes hand in hand with electric shocks?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: Have you used EFT on electric shocks by themselves?

Glenda: You know, I'm not sure. I've worked with them with other .. .

Gary: Say this for me, Glenda. Say I had electric shocks.

Glenda: I had electric shocks.

Gary: Say they shocked me electrically.

Glenda: They shocked me electrically.

Gary: Do you have an emotional charge on that?

Glenda: Yes. My body reacts.

Gary: What happens with your body?

Glenda: It tightens up, it feels fear.

Gary: Where does it tighten up?

Glenda: In my chest.

Gary: Chest. So you have a chest tightness.

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: On a scale of 0 to 10 what number would you give that chest tightness?

Glenda: Maybe a 7, a 6 or a 7.

Gary: Tap the karate tap spot and say even though I have this electric shock tightness in my chest ...

Glenda: Even though I have this electric shock tightness in my chest.

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply love and accept myself.

Gary: Even though I have this electric shock memory tightness in my chest

Glenda: Even though I have this electric shock memory tightness in my chest

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Even though I have this electric shock memory tightness in my chest

Glenda: Even though I have this electric shock memory tightness in my chest, I deeply . . .

Gary: No, I want to have you say something else. I accept the fact, go ahead.

Glenda: I accept the fact ...

Gary: That the perpetrators ...

Glenda: That the perpetrators ...

Gary: Were ill.

Glenda: Were ill.

Gary: And I was in their way.

Glenda: And I was in their way.

Gary: There was nothing really wrong with me.

Glenda: There was nothing really wrong with me.

Gary: I was just responding ...

Glenda: I was responding ...

Gary: And I still respond ...

Glenda: And I still respond ...

Gary: Like any other child would do

Glenda: Like any other child would do

Gary: Emotionally

Glenda: Emotionally

Gary: To that difficult experience.

Glenda: To the difficult experience.

Gary: Now, tap the eyebrow point and say electric shock tightness in my chest

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Side of the eye. Electric shock tightness in my chest

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.  

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Under the nose, same thing.  

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Collar bone points, same thing..

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: And under the arm, same thing.  

Glenda: Electric shock tightness in my chest

Gary: Is the tightness in your chest still a 6 or 7?

Glenda: No. But my body, it jumps a lot of times, like I was being shocked.

Gary: Well hold on one second. Say this for me: They shocked me electrically

Glenda: They shocked me electrically

Gary: What number do you get to?

Glenda: That's a 10.

Gary: That's a 10? We started at a 6 or 7, what's different about it?

Glenda: Well, my body started ... .It moved from being a memory to when my body starts feeling it, when it goes up.

Gary: Well, when you said it was a 10 was your body now jumping instead of your chest being tight?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: So it's not a chest tightness, it's a body jump?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: O.K. So what we've done, the body response is now telling us we've done something with whatever was the chest tightness. And now whatever is going on is showing up in body jumps if you will.

Glenda: Right. It moved around and my therapist always says it's good when it moves.

Gary: It's evidence that we've done something with what it moved from.

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: It may not be comfortable to move where it's going to, but your body is giving us good messages to work with. O.K.. So tap the karate chop spot. And say even though I have these electric body jumps ...

Glenda: Even though I have these electric body jumps

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.  

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Eyebrow point, electric body jumps.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Under the nose, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: Electric body jumps.

Gary: Now I just heard you sigh.

Glenda: Yes. Something moved.

Gary: Say this. Say they shocked me electrically.

Glenda: They shocked me electrically.

Gary: Is that still a 10?

Glenda: Oh, no.

Gary: What would you call it now?

Glenda: Oh, down to a 4.

Gary: Down to a 4. Tap the karate chop spot and say even though I still have some of these electric body jumps

Glenda: Even though I still have some of these electric body jumps

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Even though I still have some of these electric body jumps

Glenda: Even though I still have some of these electric body jumps

Gary: I honor them

Glenda: I honor them

Gary: Because they're giving me a message

Glenda: Because they're giving me a message

Gary: And allowing me

Glenda: And allowing me

Gary: To heal them.

Glenda: To heal them.

Gary: If they didn't show themselves to me

Glenda: If they didn't show themselves to me

Gary: I may not even know they're there.

Glenda: I might not even know they were there.

Gary: Except for the fact

Glenda: Except for the fact

Gary: That they invisibly screw up my life.

Glenda: That they invisibly screw up my life.

Gary: So I honor them.

Glenda: I honor them.

Gary: Now, tap the eyebrow point and say I honor the remaining electric body jumps

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body jumps

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body jumps

Gary: Under the eye, same thing

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body jumps

Gary: Under the nose, same thing

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body jumps

Gary: Chin point, same thing

Glenda: I honor the electric body shocks

Gary: Body jumps. Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body shocks

Gary: And under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: I honor the remaining electric body shocks

Gary: Now, I want to ask you a question. You shifted your language there. It started with "electric body jumps" and you ended up with "electric body shocks." Were you aware of that?

Glenda: No.

Gary: Well anyway, say this for me. They shocked me electrically.

Glenda: They shocked me electrically.

Gary: Is that still a 4?

Glenda: No I wouldn't say so, I would say it would be down to a 2 now.

Gary: Down to a 2. How do you know it's a 2?

Glenda: Well there's not much discomfort when I say it. The fear isn't there.

Gary: How do you know it's there at all?

Glenda: Because my body .. how do I know it's there at all? How do I know there's electric body shock there? Well, there's a tight spot in my back. I would say that's still from that.

Gary: Now that's not a body jump?

Glenda: No, that's moved to something else.

Gary: So the body jump or body shock, however we want to call that doesn't seem to be there?

Glenda: O.K.

Gary: Is that correct?

Glenda: I can't say that for sure. I would say that the tightness in the back is from a shock.

Gary: I don't want to put words in your mouth but I want to get a distinction. What is the difference between what you called a body jump or body shock and a tightness in your back?

Glenda: The difference is that the discomfort is moving, but I still think it's on the same vein . .

Gary: It may have the same source.

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: That is, from the memory of the electric shocks?

Glenda: Right.

Gary: But it's a different body manifestation?

Glenda: Correct.

Gary: Do I have that right?

Glenda: That's right.

Gary: So the body jump is missing at the moment?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: That's the distinction I wanted to make. O.K., tap the karate chop spot and say even though I have this electric shock reaction in my back

Glenda: Even though I have this electric shock reaction in my back

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Eyebrow point and say electric shock in my back

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Under the nose, same thing

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Under the arm, same thing

Glenda: Electric shock in my back

Gary: Now, how is the back now?

Glenda: That seems to be gone.

Gary: That seems to be gone. Say this for me. They shocked me electrically.

Glenda: They shocked me electrically.

Gary: Now do you have any 0 to 10 response on that?

Glenda: Well when I said it there was a tightness in the base of my spine. My hips and legs.

Gary: That's a different place.

Glenda: That's a whole different thing.

Gary: It was a tightness. Say it again for me.

Glenda: Well, it's like in my hips and spine area. There was just a .. .

Gary: Hips and lower spine?

Glenda: Tail bone, tail bone. That's a better word.

Gary: Hips and tail bone?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary:  And what number would you give that intensity?

Glenda: I'd say it's not too much, I would say probably it's only a 4.

Gary: It's a 4. O.K. We were working on a 2, which was your tightness in your back. And so that seems to be, at least that point in your back seems to be gone?

Glenda: Yes, that's gone.

Gary: This other now is like a 4?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. Even though I still have some of this electric shock in my body

Glenda: Even though I still have some of this electric shock in my body

Gary: And it is a tightness in my hips and tailbone

Glenda: And it is a tightness in my hips and tailbone

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: And I fully accept

Glenda: And I fully accept

Gary: That the perpetrators

Glenda: The perpetrators

Gary: Were ill.

Glenda: Were ill.

Gary: Is that a logically true statement by the way?

Glenda: Yes, I like that. That's really good, Gary.

Gary: Eyebrow point, ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: Under the nose, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: And under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: Ill perpetrators in my hips and tailbone.

Gary: How is the tightness in your hips and tailbone at the moment? Is it still a 4?  

Glenda: No, no, it's probably . .I think it's all gone.

Gary: Now I'd like to have you do something for me. This is a test now but I want to give you strict instructions if I may. So don't do anything until I say go. In a moment what I'd like to have you do is to close your eyes and I would like to have you then visit, take a specific electric shock incident in your past, don't do it yet. Wait until I say go. And what you'll do is you'll imagine that and I just want you to go through it briefly as a movie. You need not dwell on it in detail. Please don't dwell on it in detail, but kind of run through this movie, look at the movie and then stop. And what I'd like to do is have you tell me, when you're done with that, if there's an emotional response on a 0 to 10 scale O.K.? Go ahead.

Glenda: (After doing the exercise) Well, that's pretty good. I just tightened my body up a little bit but it was like only maybe a 2. That's really good. 

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. And say even though I still have some residual electric shock body tightness ...

Glenda: Even though I have some residual electric shock body tightness

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: And I recognize the perpetrators were ill.

Glenda: And I recognize the perpetrators were ill.

Gary: Eyebrow point and say remaining electric body shock in my body

Glenda: Remaining electric body shock in my body

Gary: And the perpetrators were ill

Glenda: And the perpetrators were ill

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing. Remaining electric body shock in my body

Glenda: Remaining electric body shock in my body

Gary: And the perpetrators were ill

Glenda: And the perpetrators were ill

Gary: Under your eye, same thing.

Glenda: Remaining electric shock in my body and the perpetrators were ill.

Gary: Under your nose, same thing.

Glenda: Remaining electric shock in my body and the perpetrators were ill.

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Remaining electric shock in my body and the perpetrators were ill.

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: Remaining electric shock in my body and the perpetrators were ill.

Gary: And under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: Remaining electric shock in my body and my perpetrators were ill.

Gary: Now, if you would, go through that movie again and tell me if you're still a 2.

Glenda: (After doing the exercise) I think I'm O.K.

Gary: All right, now say this for me will you. I am too damaged to heal.

Glenda: I am too damaged to heal. Oh . . .

Gary: That got you?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: What number did that get you to?

Glenda: I'd say that's probably a 6.

Gary: That's a 6. What was it when we first started? Would you know? I didn't really ask you what it was . . .

Glenda: It was a 10, no doubt. So all this other . .Well, that happens a lot. You know when you work on something else than what you . . something else will come down.

Gary: Yes, I'm well aware of it. Because they're connected.

Glenda: Yes, yes.

Gary: This statement that the perpetrators said you are too damaged to heal, was it said once, twice, a zillion times, what?

Glenda: Oh, a zillion. 

Gary: I don't want you to do this in any kind of vivid detail but among all the times that it was said is there one that kind of stands out?

Glenda: No. I only have like one flashback, but they did it more than one time.

Gary: Well if you have one flashback, then one event stands out. Or do I misunderstand?

Glenda: Oh, that one, sure. Sure, yes. I got that.

Gary: So that one flashback where the perpetrator ... is it one perpetrator or more?

Glenda: More.

Gary: How many are saying this?

Glenda: Well, it would vary. In this flashback we're talking about I remember three people. Men.

Gary: And they would each say that?

Glenda: No, there was just usually one that would say it.

Gary: And did that one have a first name?

Glenda: No, I don't know their names.

Gary: You don't know their names? Do you know what you called them or did you call them anything?

Glenda: I don't remember if I called them anything.

Gary: What could we call them for this purpose?

Glenda: I call them ... ."that bastard!"

Gary: O.K. you want to call them "that bastard," is that what you want to call him? I want to use a name for this next round. Or a label. You want to just call him "him"? Whatever, it's going to be your label not mine.

Glenda: "Him" sounds fine.

Gary: Him, O.K..

Glenda: It was men, so that would be . . .

Gary: We'll call him a him or he, is that all right?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. And so even though he said

Glenda: Even though he said

Gary: You are too damaged to heal

Glenda: You are too damaged to heal

Gary: Let me stop . .How old were you at the time?

Glenda: Well I was between 5 and 8.

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. Even though he said you are too damaged to heal

Glenda: Even though he said you are too damaged to heal

Gary: And I was just a little girl

Glenda: And I was a little girl

Gary: I didn't know any better

Glenda: I didn't know any better

Gary: Than to buy what he said

Glenda: Than to buy what he said

Gary: I wouldn't buy that today

Glenda: I wouldn't buy that today

Gary: But I bought it then

Glenda: But I bought it then

Gary: And apparently I'm still buying it.

Glenda: And apparently I'm still buying it.

Gary: What the perpetrators did, by constantly repeating it, is what advertisers do. That's the power of emotion and repetition. Keep tapping and say, that's what advertisements are made up of.

Glenda: That's what advertisements are made up of.

Gary: They continually repeat something

Glenda: They continually repeat something

Gary: And try to put emotional content with it

Glenda: And try to put emotional content with it

Gary: So they'll sell you whatever they want to sell you.

Glenda: So they sell you whatever they want to sell you.

Gary: I am subject to this all day long

Glenda: I am subject to this all day long

Gary: On billboards

Glenda: On billboards

Gary: On television

Glenda: On television

Gary: In Things I read

Glenda: In Things I read

Gary: Magazines.

Glenda: Magazines.

Gary: Radios

Glenda: Radios

Gary: They were just advertising to me

Glenda: They were just advertising to me

Gary: With their own message

Glenda: With their own message

Gary: And they were ill.

Glenda: And they were ill.

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Their jingle "you are too damaged to heal"

Glenda: Their jingle "you are too damaged to heal"

Gary:  Is something like

Glenda: Is something like

Gary: Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

Glenda: Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

Gary: I don't have to smoke

Glenda: I don't have to smoke

Gary: And if I did, I don't have to smoke Winstons.

Glenda: And if I did, I don't have to smoke Winstons.

Gary: Do you smoke by the way?

Glenda: No.

Gary: Why not?

Glenda: Well I quit a long time ago. My children said that kissing me was like kissing an ashtray.

Gary: Well, logically speaking, "you are too damaged to heal" is nothing more than an advertisement. 

Glenda: That was so enlightening.

Gary: Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: You deserve a break today at McDonalds. Same kind of thing.

Glenda: Wow, that was a light bulb . 

Gary: O.K., the eyebrow point please, tap that and say Here's my silly jingle.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle.

Gary: You are too damaged to heal.

Glenda: You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Side of the eye. Here's my silly jingle.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle.

Gary: You are too damaged to heal.

Glenda: You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle. You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Under the nose. Same thing.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle. You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle. You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle. You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: Here's my silly jingle. You are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Now say Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

Glenda: Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

Gary: All right, say this. Say I am too damaged to heal.

Glenda: I am too damaged to heal.

Gary: Is that still a 6?

Glenda: No, no, no. That I would say .. that might even be down to a 0 now because I heard "not true."

Gary: I'd like to have you do something now if you would. And again, this is one of those instructions things so don't it until I say to go. I would like to have you go back to that electric shock flashback, but this time instead of running that movie kind of briefly, what I'd like to have you do is run the movie in vivid terms. Don't do it yet, listen to my instructions. When I say go you will close your eyes and you will run this movie and you will exaggerate the sights, the sounds, the feelings and you will literally try to get yourself upset. Now if you do, please stop immediately of course. There's no sense causing pain, but if you don't have intensity then we want to know. This is sort of a test. And remember stay on that electric shock memory, be aware of your flashback. Be aware if your system goes someplace else. Are you ready? Go.

Glenda: (After the exercise) O.K.

Gary: What number do you get to?

Glenda: A two. You know, the spot under the eye, that just started to hurt.

Gary: Well start tapping right there. And say this 2 feeling.

Glenda: This 2 feeling.

Gary: Just keep tapping. This 2 feeling. This 2 feeling. Just keep doing it. This 2 feeling. O.K. now stop. Was there a particular part as you ran this memory through vividly that caused the 2?

Glenda: I just was observing a shock and they were saying you'll never heal, you can't heal. You're beyond .. They'd say beyond help, too. You're beyond help. It was always the kind of message that you're . . .

Gary: O.K. tap the karate chop spot. And say even though I have another jingle

Glenda: Even though I have another jingle

Gary: That says you're beyond help

Glenda: That you're beyond help

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself

Gary: This of course was said

Glenda: This of course was said

Gary: By very intelligent people

Glenda: By very intelligent people

Gary: Who actually knew

Glenda: Who actually knew

Gary: That I was beyond help

Glenda: That I was beyond help

Gary: They are probably the greatest psychologists in the world

Glenda: They are probably the greatest psychologists in the world

Gary: Deserving of the Nobel Prize for their brilliance

Glenda: Deserving of the Nobel Prize for their brilliance

Gary: Or maybe something less than that  

Glenda: Or maybe something less than that

Gary: They somehow sold me

Glenda: They somehow sold me

Gary: A little girl

Glenda: A little girl

Gary: That I was beyond help.

Glenda: That I was beyond help.

Gary: And at the moment

Glenda: And at the moment

Gary: They were right.

Glenda: They were right.

Gary: They were taking advantage of me  

Glenda: They were taking advantage of me

Gary: They were trying to project their own illnesses

Glenda: They were trying to project their own illnesses

Gary: On someone else. On a defenseless little girl.

Glenda: On a defenseless little girl.

Gary: And I happened to be that little girl.

Glenda: And I happened to be that little girl.

Gary: Eyebrow point. You're beyond help.

Glenda: I'm beyond help.

Gary: Just say you're beyond help.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: It's as though they're saying it to you.

Glenda: I see, O.K..

Gary: You're beyond help.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Side of the eye, you're beyond help.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Under the nose, same thing.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Chin point, same thing.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: Under the arm, same thing.

Glenda: You're beyond help.

Gary: All right now say I'm beyond help.

Glenda: I'm beyond help.

Gary: Is that a 2?

Glenda: No.

Gary: All right. Go back to this movie and vividly imagine it again all the way through as we did before, and of course stop if you get any intensity O.K.? Go ahead.

Glenda: (After the exercise) I think I made it.

Gary: That means zero?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: Now if you would, vividly imaginae it where you literally try to get yourself upset and exaggerate the sights, sounds, feelings, etc., on the flashback where he said you are too damaged to heal. 

Glenda: (After the exercise) Well something happened here. 

Gary: O.K., what number was it first?

Glenda: I'd say that was a 3 because on that one I jumped awfully high on the table and I just knew how much that hurt.

Gary: O.K. but your response at the moment--as you remembered it--was about a 3, a minute ago?

Glenda: Yes. I think it was more for body pain.

Gary: It was like a wince?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: Did you feel this 3 in your body someplace? How did you know it was a 3? What told you it was a 3?

Glenda: Well, I didn't until I pulled out.

Gary: Say that again please?

Glenda: I had to pull out of the memory before I could give it a . .

Gary: O.K. but you said . . You were looking back. You pulled out of the memory. That is, you stopped visualizing as we talked about it?

Glenda: Right, right.

Gary: And then you said oh, that must have been a 3 in retrospect?

Glenda: Yes.

Gary: Was that 3 you were speaking of the 3 you thought you felt thenwhen it was actually happening--or the 3 you thought you felt during the memory of it?

Glenda: During the memory of it. No, it would have been a 12 at the time! It was . .It would have been a killer one.

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot and say even though I really jumped

Glenda: Even though I really jumped

Gary: Because it really hurt

Glenda: Because it really hurt

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Glenda: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I had no choice but to jump  

Glenda: I had no choice but to jump  

Gary: Anyone would have jumped.

Glenda: Anyone would have jumped

Gary: I have a body memory here

Glenda: I have a body memory here

Gary: And it's no different than anybody else's body memory

Glenda: And it's no different than anybody else's body memory

Gary: That body memory could have been from an accident.

Glenda: The body memory could have been from an accident.

Gary: From a disease

Glenda: From a disease

Gary: Or from any other bodily ailment.

Glenda: Or from any other bodily ailment.

Gary: Mine happened to be from a body shock  

Glenda: Mine happened to be from a body shock  

Gary: Where someone said you are too damaged to heal.

Glenda: Where someone said you are too damaged to heal.

Gary: Tap the eyebrow point and say big jump, meaning jumping off the table.

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Under the eye, same thing.

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Under the nose, same thing.

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Chin point, same thing

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Collar bone point, same thing

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Under the arm, same thing.  

Glenda: Big jump

Gary: Go back to the memory now, Glenda, and vividly imagine it again and tell me what you get to.

Glenda: O.K. I could watch it, but I could watch it with compassion. And it didn't . . I didn't have a reaction, I just wanted to stop it, you know?

Gary: Yes, it's not necessarily your favorite subject.

Glenda: Right.

Gary: And it wouldn't be. We're not going to make it your favorite subject.

Glenda: No.

Gary: But what I want to know is did you have emotional charge on it, anything other than that's not a very pleasant thing to look at?

Glenda: No. There wasn't the fear or the . . .

Gary: Say this. Say I am too damaged to heal.

Glenda: I am too damaged to heal.

Gary: Now how true does that feel to you on a 0 to 10 scale.

Glenda: No, that's not true.

Gary: That's not true.

Glenda: No.

Gary: That's not true logically, and it's not true emotionally?

Glenda: It doesn't feel emotionally true either.

Gary: Well I think we probably did something worthwhile with that tree in your forest.

Glenda: I do too.

Gary: O.K. All right. Seem O.K. now?

Glenda: I am quite O.K. You're just amazing, thank you so much.

Gary: Well you made my day . . O.K. my dear.

Glenda: And you've made mine, let me tell you!

Gary: God Bless.

Glenda: Bless you.

Gary: Bye . . .

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