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Transcripts of recorded sessions & interviews

Grace--Part I
Dad-beat-up-Mom----and more.  The "movie technique" & intuitive rephrasing/reframing.

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Gary: O.K., so you're a newcomer to EFT?

Grace: Right.

Gary: You've never done it before?

Grace: Never.

Gary: And you have an emotional issue--an event with your father--that if you were to dwell on it, that you would get to a 10 very easily.

Grace: Yes.

Gary: And you've never done EFT before in your life?

Grace: Never.

Gary: You've done EMDR?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: And have had a major ... it's called an abreaction--but a negative reaction to it

lasting how long?

Grace: May 26th of this year, and today is July 30th.

Gary: O.K., so about two months or something like that. I don't even know what this event is at the moment. But I did ask you before this recorder went on that, if it was a movie, how long would it last, and you said it would be about 10 minutes.

Grace: Maybe it would be longer. I don't know. Twenty minutes at the most.

Gary: O.K. Somewhere in that area?

Grace: Right.

Gary: And if it had a title it would be,"Dad Beats Up Mom."

Grace: Right.

Gary: I have asked you only to guess that if you were to dwell on it, what number

you would get to on a 0-10 scale, and you told me it would be a 10 easily. I'm going to instruct you about where some tapping points are on your body. And then we'll just go through this and see what happens.

Grace: O.K

Note: For those EFT'ers wanting to do this process over the phone, I include that portion of our phone conversation where I instructed Grace where to tap. You might find these instructions useful. Also note that I used only the shortcut version of EFT throughout this session and did not include the 9 gamut procedure. As it turns out, it wasn't necessary in this case.

Gary: Are you right-handed?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: If you would, take your left hand and look at that fleshy spot on the outside of the left hand between the top of the wrist and the base of the little fingers, where you would do a karate chop point or karate chop hit.

Grace: On my left hand, between the ...

Gary: Top of the wrist ...

Grace: The top of the wrist ...

Gary: And the base of the little finger.

Grace: And the base of the little finger.

Gary: It's that fleshy spot there. So if you were to do a karate chop with your left

hand, that's the part of your hand you would use.

Grace: Exactly.

Gary: Now, just take two fingers of your right hand and just tap there. Don't hurt

yourself. Just tap. And just say these words as you tap continuously, whether you

believe them or not: Even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion... Say that.

Grace: Even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Are you still tapping?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: O.K. Keep tapping. So even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion ...

Grace: Even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: O.K. One more time: Even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion ...

Grace:Even though I have this Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Now, with those same two fingertips you've been tapping the karate chop

point, tap right between your two eyebrows. Just above the nose.

Note: This is a short hand way of having Grace tap the eyebrow point which is very easy to explain over the phone. It's not absolutely accurate ... but close enough.Besides, this allows her to tap near both eyebrow points. In retrospect, I might have asked her to spread her two fingers apart by = inch. That would have gotten both eyebrow points nicely.

Grace: O.K.

Gary: O.K. And say, Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion. Say the words while you're

tapping: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Gary: Now, move your fingertips over to the outside corner of your eye.

Grace: Outside corner of any eye?

Gary: Either eye. Where the bone is there. And tap on that, and say,

Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Gary: Now, put your fingers underneath your eye, either eye, and tap on that bone.

It's about an inch below the pupil. And say, Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Gary: Then tap on your upper lip just below your nose and say, Dad-beat-up-Mom

emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Gary: Just below your lower lip, right between your lower lip and the point of your

chin, and say, Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion as you tap there.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Gary: Now take your fist ... make a fist ... and thump on the upper part of your breast

bone, about where a man knots his tie. Just thump there and say, Dad-beat-up-Mom

emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Note: This is an easy way to have a phone client locate the collarbone point. By thumping with the fist in this manner the client is bound to cover this otherwise hard to find point. Also, because the fist covers a larger area, the client is likely to address both collarbone points instead of just onecouldn't hurt.

Gary: Now take your fingertips and tap on your side ... if you're right handed,

probably your left side ... about four inches below your armpit on the side of your ribs

there about in the middle of the bra strap. And say, Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Grace: Dad beat up ... That's underneath my arm?

Gary: It's four inches down from your armpit down your side. It's right about where

the bra strap comes around the side there. Right in the middle of it. And say,

Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom emotion. Sigh!

Gary: O.K. We'll just stop there for a second. What I'd like you to do now, I'd like

you to guess again. I want you to guess for me. If you were dwell on this issue ... By

the way, I want you to notice something. You just sighed. Did you notice that?

Grace: Yes. I did notice that.

Gary: O.K.

Grace: It's not a good day for me. I don't feel real good.

Gary: O.K. All right, but you did sigh, didn't you?

Grace: I did.

Gary: O.K. That is often an indication that something is happening worthwhile with

this process.

Grace: Oh, wonderful.

Gary: That's why I mentioned it to you. At any rate, what I'd like to have you do

now is I want you to guess for me again. If you were to vividly imagine this event

again, would you still get to a 10? Would you get to some other number? What is your

guess?

Grace: Golly. It's so ... I don't know what to say. Maybe it would be less. Maybe it

would be less.

Gary: But you don't know?

Grace: It's so abhorrent to me that the whole idea of that happening is definitely a

10. Would I work myself up to a 10? Maybe not.

Gary: O.K. Tap on the side of that karate chop again. And say, even though this

whole idea is abhorrent to me ... Say that.

Grace: Even though this whole idea is abhorrent to me ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I love and forgive myself ...

Grace: I love and forgive myself ...

Gary: For any contribution I may be making to this emotional reaction ...

Grace: For any contribution I may be making to this emotional reaction ...

Gary: And say this, whether you believe it or not, O.K? And I forgive my father and

anyone else ...

Grace: And I forgive my father and anyone else ...

Gary: For their participation in this ...

Grace: For their participation in this.

Gary: It may not seem like it ...

Grace: It may not seem like it ...

Gary: But it may be ...

Grace: But it may be ...

Gary: They were doing the best they could.

Grace: They were doing the best they could.

Gary: O.K. He was doing the best he could.

Grace: He was doing the best he could.

Gary: O.K. Tap between the eyebrow points and say, This idea's abhorrent to me ...

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me ...

Gary: Side of the eye, same thing. This idea's ...

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: Under the eye.

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: Under the nose.

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: The chin point below the lower lip.

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: O.K. And then thump your breast bone.

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: And then on your side there, middle of the bra strap.

Grace: This idea's abhorrent to me.

Gary: O.K. Let me stop there for a second. Again, I want you to guess. I know it's

not easy to do, but I want you to guess. If you were to dwell on this in great detail,

would you get to a 10? What number would you get to is a better way to say it?

Grace: I went through this with EMDR. And I got to the point where I felt pity for

him.

Gary: O.K. Do you feel pity for him now?

Grace: I suppose so, yea.

Gary: Let me suggest to you that if you went through EMDR and that's what you felt

that there was something good happening. That doesn't mean other things didn't come

up. We call them aspects in what we're doing. Maybe the process should have gone

on longer, I don't know. But that's evidence that something worthwhile happened.

Grace: Right. And I'm sure something worthwhile did happen. It's just the

after-effects have been so painful.

Gary: Do you have physical problems right now as a result of this issue?

Grace: I'm wondering. Like I say, I did not feel well before I started. So, I'm still not

feeling well.

Note: At this point I am questioning how efficiently we are getting to the emotional issues so I am choosing to go at it from the physical side. It's just a choice. Not a magic decision. Pursuing it from the straight emotional angle may well have been effective.

Gary: In your body right now, is there physical discomfort at the moment?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: Where?

Grace: All over. Like exhaustion, headache, diarrhea. That's about it.

Gary: Do you have a headache right now?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: On a scale of zero to 10, where a 10's the worst that headache has ever been

and zero is nothing, what would it be? What would you rank it right now?

Grace: Oh, probably about a six.

Gary: Tap that karate chop spot for me, would you please? And say, even though I

have this headache ... Even though I have this father headache ...

Grace: Even though I have this father headache ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Again, even though I have this father headache ...

Grace: Even though I have this father headache ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Then tap between the eyebrows and say, father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Side of the eye. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Under the eye. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Under the nose. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Below the lower lip. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Breast bone point. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: And then under the arm. Father headache.

Grace: Father headache.

Gary: Is the headache still a six?

Grace: No, it's better.

Gary: What number would you estimate it?

Grace: Maybe it's about a four.

Gary: It's about a four. O.K. Tap that karate chop point again. And say, even though

I still some of this father headache ...

Grace: Even though I still have some of this father headache ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Between the eyebrow points. Remaining father headache.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Side of the eye. Remaining father headache.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Under the eye. Remaining father headache.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Under the nose. Same thing.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: All right. Below the lower lip.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Top of the breast bone.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Under the arm point on the side.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Gary: Is it still a four?

Grace: Hmm. No, it is going away.

Gary: Estimate a number.

Grace: We'll say a three.

Gary: A three. O.K. All right. Tap the karate chop point. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. You don't need to tap that at the moment. Just tap between the eyebrows again and say, remaining father headache.

Grace: Remaining father headache.

Note: Here I am simply using my intuition and choosing to ignore The Setup. It doesn't appear to me that she has PR. Throwing in the personal forgiveness phrase is also intuitional.

Gary: And my personal forgiveness problem.

Grace: And my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: Whether you believe it or not, just say it, O.K.? And then the side of the arm.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: Under the eye. Same thing.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: Under the nose.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: Chin point.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: Top of the breast bone.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem.

Gary: O.K. Then under the arm.

Grace: Remaining father headache and my personal forgiveness problem. Sigh.

Gary: Are we still a three on the headache?

Grace: Maybe the headache is going, but the nauseousness is not going.

Note: To me, this is evidence that we are chipping away at the emotional problem.You will see as this session unfolds that Grace's physical symptoms come and go as well as shift location and nature. In this case she has shifted from headache to nauseousness. It is as though her emotional issues manifest physically in different ways. I call this phenomenon "Chasing the Pain."

Gary:O.K. Also I heard a sigh there a moment ago. I just thought I would point it

out.

Grace: I know. You say that this is good?

Gary: What's happening at the moment, at least this is my perspective on it, is that we're dealing with physical issues, and as one of them subsides, others come up, but they're all emotionally created. We're actually addressing your emotional issues by going for the physical. That's been my experience, anyway. But for the moment, zero in on the headache. If the headache was a three, is it still a three?

Grace: Yea, I still have a headache. It's not as bad a headache.

Gary: O.K. But the nauseousness is now front and center?

Grace: Yea.

Gary: On a scale of zero to 10, how nauseous do you feel?

Grace: Oh dear. I would say ... how nauseous do I feel? ....About an eight.

Gary: About an eight. O.K. Is there a specific thing that tells you that? Like there's

something in your throat or your stomach or something?

Grace: Yea. You feel like you're going to throw up.

Gary: O.K. All right. If there was an emotional issue behind that, what would you

think it might be?

Grace: If there was an emotional issue behind that? How do you mean? Explain that.

Gary: Let's just use the theory for the moment that all of our physical ailments are

caused by some kind of an emotional disturbance. And so I'm asking that if your

nauseousness is caused by some kind of emotional unrest, do you have any estimate

or guess of what it might be?

Grace: Gee. No.

Gary: Why don't you guess for me anyway?

Grace:O.K. Do I have any idea what emotional thing could be causing my physical

nauseousness? O.K. I see what you're saying. Like fear, anger, one of those kind of

things.

Gary: Something like that. Does a memory come up as we talk about this? Maybe

something with your father or somebody else? Is there somebody you're angry at,

somebody you haven't forgiven, for example?

Grace: Oh, yea. Anger is one of my big things. Repressed anger. I just don't let it

out.

Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. And say, even though I have this suppressed anger

in my stomach ...

Grace: Even though I have this suppressed anger in my stomach ...

Gary: And it causes me nauseousness ...

Grace: And it causes me nauseousness ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I forgive myself for holding all this in.

Grace: I forgive myself for holding all this in.

Gary: It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Grace: It just seems like the right thing to do.

Gary: Even though I'm paying for it.

Grace: Even though I'm paying for it.

Gary: I deeply, completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I love myself with all my imperfections.

Grace: I love myself with all my imperfections?

Gary: All my imperfections, yes. And I love my father ...

Grace: And I love my father ...

Gary: Even though I may not want to admit it.

Grace: Even though I may not want to admit it.

Gary: The man had more problems ...

Grace: The man had more problems ...

Gary: Than most people on this planet.

Grace: Than most people on this planet.

Gary: And he was doing the best he could.

Grace: And he was doing the best he could.

Gary: Now, tap between the eyebrows and say, Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Grace: Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Gary: Side of the eye. This nauseousness.

Grace: This nauseousness.

Gary: Under the eye. Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Grace: Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Gary: Under the nose. This nauseousness.

Grace: This nauseousness.

Gary: Chin point. Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Grace: Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Gary: Breast bone point. This nauseousness.

Grace: This nauseousness.

Gary: And then under the arm. Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Grace: Suppressed anger in my stomach.

Note: I often shift the Reminder Phrase around as I just did in the above interchange.Again, this is an intuitional thing. It deviates somewhat from the standard EFT phraseology but that's OK. Creative phrasing is encouraged in advanced work.

Gary: If you were an eight, are you still an eight with the nauseousness?

Grace: Maybe not. It might be a little better. It's still there, but I would say it's a little better.

Gary: Well, if it was an eight. I need to have you estimate for me a number.

Grace: O.K. A six.

Gary: A six. How's the headache?

Grace: No, it's dizzy.

Gary: Oh, it's dizzy.

Grace: Right. Which is my big thing.

Gary: However, dizzy is different than headache.

Grace: Yes, that's true.

Gary: And what I'd like to point out to you is as we do this, the nature of the

physical discomforts start to change.

Grace: Oh, golly.

Gary: Are you with me?

Grace: Yes, I am.

Gary: Am I saying it correctly?

Grace: Oh, yes.

Gary: O.K. So do you have a headache?

Grace: A slight headache that's dizzy.

Gary: All right. You had a headache that was a six. It went to a four. It went to a three. Just taking the headache itself, forgetting the dizzy part, what number is the headache?

Grace: I would say it's a three.

Gary: Oh, it's still a three?

Grace: Yea.

Gary: Oh, O.K. Because I thought the word you said earlier was that the headache was fading or something like that. But now it was dizzy. That's the way I interpreted it, anyway.

Grace: O.K. No. It's ... A really bad headache is a throwing up headache. So this is definitely something that I could work with, but a lot of people couldn't work with it.

Gary: O.K. I'm just looking for progress if you have it.

Grace: Yes, there has been some progress. The headache is better. I'm dizzy now. At the top of my head.

Gary: You need to report to me accurately. We don't want you to get better just because we're recording it. We have to be in the real world here. O.K.?

Grace: Right. O.K.

Gary: All right. On a scale of zero to 10, how dizzy are you?

Grace: Oh, dear. I would say a seven.

Gary: You would say a seven. O.K. Tap the karate chop point. Say, even though I

feel dizzy right now ...

Grace: Even though I feel dizzy right now ...

Gary: And I'm not even sure why ...

Grace: And I'm not even sure why ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I love myself for all my imperfections.

Grace: I love myself for all my imperfections.

Gary: Because it's my imperfections ...

Grace: Pardon me?

Gary: Because it's my imperfections ...

Grace: Because it's my imperfections ...

Gary: That make me perfect after all.

Grace: That make me perfect after all.

Gary: Tap between the eyes and say, this dizziness ...

Grace: This dizziness ...

Gary: Side of the eye. This dizziness ...

Grace: This dizziness...

Gary: Under the eye. This dizziness ...

Grace: This dizziness ...

Gary: Under the nose. Same thing.

Grace: This dizziness ...

Gary: Chin point. Same thing.

Grace: This dizziness...

Gary. O.K. Breast bone point.

Grace: This dizziness...

Gary: Breast bone point.

Grace: This dizziness...

Gary: Under the arm.

Grace: This dizziness ...

Gary: Right. O.K. How's the dizziness right now?

Grace: It's still there.

Gary: It's still a seven?

Grace: Yea.

Gary: Didn't change at all?

Grace: This is a big one for me about dizzy.

Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop point. Even though this dizziness is a big one ...

Grace: Even though this dizziness is a big one ...

Gary: And it may be the thing I resist most of all ...

Grace: And it may be the thing I resist most of all ...

Gary: Cause if I get rid of this ...

Grace: Cause if I get rid of this ...

Gary: Then maybe I won't have to keep my grievances, anger and other emotions that

I have been relying on.

Grace: Then I may not have to keep my grievances, emotions ...

Gary: Anger ...

Grace: Anger that I have been relying on.

Gary: Or may have been relying on.

Grace: Or may have been relying on.

Gary: Maybe they've become friends and I don't know it.

Grace: Maybe they've become friends and I don't know it?

Gary: Yes. Are you still tapping the karate chop point?

Grace: Yea.

Gary: O.K. I forgive myself for the dizziness ...

Grace: I forgive myself for the dizziness ...

Gary: And I honor the dizziness ...

Grace: And I honor the dizziness ...

Gary: Because it's giving me a message.

Grace: Because it's giving me a message.

Gary: O.K. Between the eyebrows and say, this big dizziness issue ...

Grace: This big dizziness issue ...

Gary: Side of the eye. This big dizziness issue ...

Grace: This big dizziness issue ...

Gary: Under the eye. Same thing.

Grace: This big dizziness issue ...

Gary: Under the nose.

Grace: This big dizziness issue.

Gary: Chin point.

Grace: This big dizziness issue ...

Gary: Breast bone.

Grace: This big dizziness issue ...

Gary: Under the arm.

Grace: This big dizziness issue.

Gary: O.K. Are you still a seven?

Grace: No, I would definitely say it has diminished.

Gary: O.K. What would it be now?

Grace: Maybe a five.

Gary: Maybe a five. Tap the karate chop point. Even though I still have some of this big dizziness issue ...

Grace: Even though I have some of this big dizziness issue ...

Gary: No. Even though I still have some of this ...

Grace: Oh. Even though I still have some of this big dizziness issue ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: And continue to honor my dizziness ...

Grace: And continue to honor my dizziness ...

Gary: My headache ...

Grace: My headache ...

Gary: My nauseousness ...

Grace: My nauseousness ...

Gary: And any other physical manifestation I have.

Grace: And any other manifestation I have.

Gary: Because it's giving me a message.

Grace: Because it's giving me a message.

Gary: Tap between the eyebrows and say, remaining dizziness and other problems.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: Side of the eye. Same thing.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: Under the eye.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: Under the nose.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: Chin point.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: Breast bone point.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: And under the arm.

Grace: Remaining dizziness and other problems.

Gary: O.K. Is the dizziness still a five?

Grace: This is hard. It's not gone. Maybe four.

Gary: There was some improvement from last time? It was a five, I remember.

Grace: Yea. Right.

Gary: So there is some improvement?

Grace: There might be some improvement.

Gary: Might be some improvement?

Grace: Right.

Gary: O.K. How's the headache?

Grace: The headache is pretty good.

Gary: If it was a three, is it still a three?

Grace: Yea. I would still say it's a three.

Gary: O.K. How about the stomach?

Grace: The stomach. Everything has improved. I want it miraculously to go away. I'm just grateful it's not worse. It has improved. Everything has improved.

Gary: As a result of what we've done, you mean?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: O.K. That's evidence we have more to go.

Grace: Oh my gracious. Is that right?

Gary: Well, sure.

Grace: Well, yea, that does make sense. It's like how do you know where to go from here?

Gary: Well, your body's telling us.

Grace: O.K. You mean because there's still dizziness and headache.

Gary: Sure. Sure.

Grace: But I mean how do you know what is causing that?

Gary: I don't.

Grace: Oh. All right.

Gary: All right. But do this for me now if you would. I want you to guess again, if you were to dwell and vividly imagine ... dwell on and vividly imagine this Dad-beat-up-Mom event, do you still think you would be a 10 if you did that? Just guess for me, that's all.

Grace: No. It seems to be ... I seem to be disconnecting from it.

Gary: O.K. Now that's the kind of language that is evidence that we're making headway here. Because you can still remember it, but chances are you could be more distant from it. I'll give you an example: I dealt with some Vietnam veterans. They have these horrible war memories. They still remember them. But the charge on them after we do this leaves .. no longer do they have the nightmares, no longer do they dwell on them, no longer does their heart pound or do they get nauseous or whatever when the mere thought of it comes up. When we're all done, they can talk about these things, these memories, like it was a shopping trip.

Grace: Isn't that incredible?

Gary: O.K. And so what I'm hearing from you when you said you felt distanced from it?

Grace: Disconnected.

Gary: Disconnected, yes. Is a parallel to what we often hear. Are we all done? No, no, no, no. But what I'd like to have you do now. Are you still willing to do this?

Grace: Sure.

Gary: What I'd like to have you do now--when I ask you to--is to start telling me the

story of what happened. I'd like to have you narrate this movie, but don't do it yet.

Let me give you some instructions first. The way to do this is to start in this story at

some place where you ... like before it happened ... where you can just talk about it

easily--where nothing's going on-- and gradually get into it. The moment you get

intense at all you stop right there and say Whoa! I just went to a six or a four or a two

or a 10 or whatever it was. We stop right there and do tapping. O.K.? Are the

instructions clear?

Grace: Yes.

Gary: What I want to ask you is this: Knowing that I'm going to ask you to tell this

story, do you have emotional intensity at the moment because of that?

Grace: Yea, because I can feel like the dizzy headache.

Gary: (humorously) Of course there's no connection between the dizzy headache and

this story. I want you to know that, O.K.?

Grace: Right.

Gary: I'm being facetious.

Grace: I know.

Gary: You start to tune into this ...

Grace: What have we been working on here?

Gary: You start to tune into the story and what shows up is a dizziness event. A

dizziness manifestation. So on a scale of zero to 10, how intense are you about telling

the story?

Grace: Telling the story doesn't bother me.

Gary: Knowing that you're going to tell the story ...

Grace: Well, see I'm not feeling well again. So I guess it must bother me.

Gary: All right. Tap the karate chop spot. And say, even though I have some

intensity about telling this story...

Grace: Even though I have some intensity about telling this story ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: Even though I have some intensity about telling this story ...

Grace: Even though I have some intensity about this story ...

Gary: And the fact that it may well uncover things I don't want to look at ...

Grace: And the fact that it may well uncover things I don't want to look at ...

Gary: Not only about the event ...

Grace: Not only about the event ...

Gary: But perhaps myself ...

Grace: But perhaps myself ...

Gary: About myself ...

Grace: About myself ...

Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.

Gary: I'm only human.

Grace: I'm only human.

Gary: Tap between the eyebrow points. And say, telling this story emotion ...

Grace: Telling this story, pardon me?

Gary: Telling this story emotion ...

Grace: Telling this story emotion ...

Gary: Side of the eye. Telling this story emotion ...

Grace: Telling this story emotion...

Gary: Under the eye.

Grace: Telling this story emotion ...

Gary: Under the nose.

Grace: Telling this story emotion...

Gary: Chin point.

Grace: Telling this story emotion...Sigh.

Gary: Breast bone point.

Grace: Telling this story emotion ...

Gary: And under the arm.

Grace: Telling this story emotion ...

Gary: O.K. How do you feel now about the story?

Grace: Like I said, when you ask me, I don't feel badly about telling the story. But, I

mean, I don't intellectually have any problem with telling the story. I guess my body

doesn't want to tell the story.

Gary: Apparently. I also noticed a moment ago you sighed too. I'm just pointing that

out to you. Do you sigh a lot, by the way?

Grace: When I don't feel well, I think I sigh a lot.

Gary: So maybe the sighs we're hearing had to do with not feeling well?

Grace: Yes. I felt great yesterday. I wasn't sighing at all.

Gary: All right. On a scale of zero to 10, how do you feel overall?

Grace: Today I don't feel well. At this moment, I'm not feeling terrific.

Gary: How about the dizziness?

Grace: It's still there. I'm still sighing.

Gary: It was a seven, then it was a five. Then I think it went to a four. Is it still a four?

Grace: Yea. I would say.

Gary: How about the nauseousness in the stomach?

Grace: That's better. It's still there.

Gary: O.K. All right.

Grace: Nothing is completely gone.

Gary: Say these words for me, O.K.? Say, Dad-beat-up-Mom.

Grace: Dad-beat-up-Mom.

Gary: On a scale of zero to 10, do you get any intensity on that, saying that phrase?

Grace: I guess not.

Gary: If you would, start telling me the story. I need to make sure I make one

instruction very clear. And that is, the moment that you get any kind of intensity, it's

really starting to bother you to tell this story, even if it's mild, you stop right there. Let

me make sure that I instruct you as to why that is. By contrast, other techniques want

you to be courageous and brave and gut through an emotionally intense event. A lot of

therapy does that. This is the exact opposite. It's the exact opposite. The moment you

get any intensity, it's not to be ... You see, if you get some intensity and say, I'm just

going to charge right through this, you have missed a healing opportunity. That's

something we wanted to tap on right there. O.K? So if you get beyond it and we didn't

tap on it just because you braved yourself through it means we missed an opportunity.

Grace: Right.

Gary: Are you with me?

Grace: To do some good.

Gary: Yes. What's happening is as you come to those points, the energy meridians in

your body are disrupting. They're going haywire. They're not flowing smoothly. And

so we want to start tapping when that happens. That's very important. If we go by

them, then we've missed something. All right?

Grace: O.K. The more we've just spoken, the worse I feel.

Gary: Oh, interesting. O.K. And why do you suppose that would be?

Grace: Maybe because we're talking about it.

Gary: And because you're going to get into it with this story?

Grace: That could be.

Gary: Tap your karate chop spot for me. And say these words. I'm going to change

these words a little bit. Just say them whether you believe them or not. Say, even

though I'm about to tell this story ...

Grace: Even though I'm about to tell this story ...

Gary: And even though it seems like what my father did to my mother ....

Grace: And even though it seems like what my father did to my mother ...

Gary: It may well represent ...

Grace: It may well represent ...

Gary: Things I don't like about myself ...

Grace: Things I don't like about myself ...

Gary: And maybe I'm not even aware of.

Grace: And maybe I'm not even aware of.

Gary: It may trigger things like fear...

Grace: It may trigger things like fear ...

Gary: Guilt ...

Grace: Guilt...

Gary: Trauma ...

Grace: Trauma ...

Gary: And other things ...

Grace: And other things ...

Gary: ... maybe I wouldn't tell a soul.

Grace: ... maybe I wouldn't tell a soul.

Gary: O.K. Maybe what I was looking at ...

Grace: Maybe what I was looking at ...

Gary: And experiencing ...

Grace: And experiencing ...

Gary: Was a mirror of myself.

Grace: Was a mirror of myself.

Gary: It may not seem that way.

Grace: It may not seem that way.

Gary: But something is causing me to hold all this emotion in.

Grace: But something is causing me to hold all this emotion in.

Gary: It hasn't left yet.

Grace: It hasn't left yet.

Gary: And yet the event itself ...

Grace: And yet the event itself ...

Gary: Was how many years ago?

Grace:I'm 64. And this happened when I was maybe 10.

Gary: When you were 10. O.K. Keep doing the karate chop point. Even though I had

a perception when I was 10 ...

Grace: Even though I had a perception when I was 10 ...

Gary: I'm still holding onto it 54 years later.

Grace: I'm still holding onto it 54 years later.

Gary: And, in a way ...

Grace: And, in a way ...

Gary: I'm taking the advice ...

Grace: I'm taking the advice ...

Gary: Of a 10-year-old.

Grace: Of a 10-year-old.

Gary: Whatever she was experiencing ...

Grace: Whatever she was experiencing ...

Gary: And maybe suppressed in the meantime ...

Grace: And maybe suppressed in the meantime ...

Gary: I'm still living with.

Grace: I'm still living with.

Gary: And it's got to be a fiction.

Grace: And it's got to be what?

Gary: A fiction.

Grace: And it's got to be fiction?

Gary: A fiction.

Grace: A fiction.

Gary: I'm not the least bit upset ...

Grace: I'm not the least bit upset ...

Gary: About the Pelopenesian War ...

Grace: About the Pelopenesian War?

Gary: Pelopenesian War ...

Grace: Pelopenesian War ...

Gary: Which happened centuries ago ...

Grace: Which happened centuries ago ...

Gary: And was far more devastating ...

Grace: And was far more devastating ...

Gary: Than anything that I happened to see with my parents.

Grace: Than anything that I happened to see with my parents.

Gary: Yet the Pelopenesian War ...

Grace: Yet the Pelopenesian War ...

Gary: Didn't say anything to me personally.

Grace: Didn't say anything to me personally.

Gary: The confrontation with my parents ..

Grace: The confrontation with my parents ...

Gary: Did.

Grace: Did.

Gary: And maybe that's what I'm dealing with.

Grace: And maybe that's what I'm dealing with.

Gary: O.K. Now, tap between the eyebrows. And say, whatever I'm dealing with here ...

Grace: Whatever I'm dealing with here ...

Gary: Side of the eye. The real issue ...

Grace: Pardon me?

Gary: Side of the eye. The real issue ...

Grace: The real issue ...

Gary: Under the eye. What I don't want to look at ...

Grace: What I don't want to look at ...

Gary: Under the nose. Any guilt I may have here.

Grace: Any guilt I may have here.

Gary: Chin point. Anything I may have done that parallels what my father did.

Grace: Anything I may have done that parallels what my father did.

Gary: Breast point. The big issue here ...

Grace: The big issue here ...

Gary: And under the arm. Being clear on where I'm coming from.

Grace: Being clear on where I'm coming from.

Gary: O.K.

Grace: Wow. That's heavy.

Gary: What does the wow mean besides that's heavy?

Grace: That's getting right .. cutting right through to the nitty gritty.

Gary: O.K. We're speaking some truth here.

Grace: Yea. Right.

 

To continue with this transcript, go to Grace--Part II

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