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Deepak Chopra, MD
"EFT offers great healing benefits."
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques®) Where emotional relief brings physical health
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Grace-Part II
Dad-beat-up-Mom----and more. The "movie technique" & intuitive rephrasing/reframing.
Gary: OK, We're speaking some truth here.
Grace: Yea. Right.
Gary: O.K.
Grace: I don't know what the truth is, but, I mean, it's certainly asking me for the truth.
Gary: Yea. Well, you're having some emotional response to it, meaning there's something true about it.
Grace: Right.
Gary: Even though maybe you can or maybe you cannot zero right in on it.
Grace: Right. I'd sure like to know the truth. Maybe I could feel a whole heck of a lot better all the time.
Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop spot. Even though I don't know the truth ...
Grace: Even though I don't know the truth ...
Gary: And haven't yet had it come to me ...
Grace: And haven't yet had it come to me ...
Gary: I deeply and, completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: Even though I'm blocking the truth ...
Grace: Even though I'm blocking the truth ...
Gary: Cause I don't really want to see it ...
Grace: Cause I don't really want to see it ...
Gary: And I'd rather have all these physical problems instead of it ...
Grace: And I'd rather have all these physical problems instead of it ...
Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: Say this for me: Nobody loves me.
Grace: Nobody loves me.
Gary: How true does that feel?
Grace: Pretty true.
Gary: How long has that been?
Grace: Gracious sakes. Since my Mom died.
Gary: That was age 16.
Grace: Yea.
Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop spot. And this may feel uncomfortable to you, but stay with me, would you please?
Grace: Yea.
Gary: Say, even though I've been lonely since age 16 ...
Grace: Even though I've been lonely since age 16 ...
Gary: Is that a true statement, by the way?
Grace: That I have been lonely since I was 16? Yes, that's a true statement.
Gary: That's a true statement. OK, say, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: Loneliness is an inside job.
Grace: Loneliness is an inside job.
Gary: I am surrounded by people.
Grace: I am surrounded by people.
Gary: They live around me.
Grace: They live around me.
Gary: They work around me.
Grace: They work around me.
Gary: I see them in shopping malls...
Grace: I see them in shopping malls ...
Gary: Grocery stores ...
Grace: Grocery stores ...
Gary: They're all around me.
Grace: They're all around me.
Gary: I'm not really alone...
Grace: I'm not really alone...
Gary: Except for my inside job...
Grace: Except for my inside job ...
Gary: About being alone.
Grace: About being alone.
Gary: My mother was my link ...
Grace: My mother was my link ...
Gary: Was my connection ...
Grace: Was my connection ...
Gary: And when she died ...
Grace: And when she died ...
Gary: Perhaps I never made another connection.
Grace: Perhaps I never made another connection.
Gary: How true are we speaking now?
Grace: 100 percent.
Gary: O.K. All right. And perhaps it wasn't my father after all ...
Grace: And perhaps it wasn't my father after all ...
Gary: And his beating of my Mom ...
Grace: And his beating of my Mom ...
Gary: That is causing all of this.
Grace: That is causing all of this.
Gary: It is the gap I feel ...
Grace: It is the gap I feel ...
Gary: Since my mother has died.
Grace: Since my mother has died.
Gary: I love and forgive myself.
Grace: I love and forgive myself.
Gary: I love my mother.
Grace: I love my mother. That's true.
Gary: And I'm ready to leave it be. Go ahead.
Grace: And I'm ready to leave it be.
Gary: Tap between the eyes. Eyebrow points. And say, my lonely inside job.
Grace: My lonely inside job.
Gary: Side of the eye. Loving others.
Grace: Loving others.
Gary: Under the eye. Love is an inside job.
Grace: Love is an inside job.
Gary: Under the nose. Those who expect to get love from others are looking in the wrong place.
Grace: Love who ... No.
Gary: Those who expect to get love from others are looking in the wrong place.
Grace: Those who expect to get love from others are looking in the wrong place.
Gary: O.K. The chin point. Love is something you radiate.
Grace: Love is something you radiate.
Gary: Breast bone point. When you put love out, that's when love comes back.
Grace: When you put love out, that's when love comes back.
Gary: And then, under the arm. Say, love is the inside job I haven't learned to do yet.
Grace: Love is the inside job I haven't learned to do yet.
Gary: O.K. Tap between the eyes. Say, remaining emotion.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Side of the eye. Remaining emotion.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Under the eye.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Under the nose.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Chin point.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Collar bone point.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: Under the arm.
Grace: Remaining emotion.
Gary: How you doin'?
Grace: I'm feeling better. Yea, I am feeling better. You know what, Gary, I know this is
my problem. I just don't know how to deal with it.
Gary: Well, that's what this is all about. First of all, you've got to be a detective enough to be able to find out what the real problem is. We were talking about this, your father beating up your mother. And that of course is a traumatic event. You're a 10-year-old when you're watching it. Of course that comes up. But it may not be just that event. It may be what that event means to you. And if it means to you that your mother was your only personal link to love, which I'm gathering that's at least part of it ...
Grace: That is it. I have never loved anybody since that time.
Gary: O.K.
Grace: Not with that depth of feeling.
Gary: O.K.
Grace: I mean I have children. I had a husband, got divorced. But I have never felt that intensity of feeling since my mother died.
Gary: If your mother were sitting beside you at the moment, advising you as to what to do, what would she say?
Grace: What would she say about my not feeling well?
Gary: What would she advise you to do about love at the moment?
Grace: Well, to love. To be a loving person. To love somebody else, which is almost impossible for me to do.
Gary: You say impossible. That's an interesting word. Cause impossible possible means draw the curtain, it cannot possibly be done. There is no way to even learn it. There is no way whatsoever. It's an interesting word.
Grace: I have .. My heart feels like a stone.
Gary: Ah. What would you rather it felt like?
Grace: Open and warm and living.
Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop spot for me, O.K.? Even though my heart feels like a stone ...
Grace: Even though my heart feels like a stone ...
Gary: It's really warm and open and living.
Grace: It's really warm and open and living.
Gary: Just like other hearts.
Grace: Just like other hearts.
Gary: If we opened up my chest ..
Grace: If we opened up my what?
Gary: My chest.
Grace: My chest ...
Gary: We would not really find ...
Grace: We really would not ...
Gary: A stone.
Grace: A stone.
Gary: There's no stone in my heart.
Grace: There's no stone in my heart.
Gary: It is a metaphor that I use.
Grace: It's a metaphor that I use.
Gary: I have not been open to love.
Grace: I have not been open to love.
Gary: And that's why I haven't found it.
Grace: And that's why I haven't found it.
Gary: It's still sitting there.
Grace: It's still sitting there.
Gary: It's always sitting there.
Grace: It's always sitting there.
Gary: Everyone has the choice ...
Grace: Everyone has the choice ...
Gary: To do a good deed ...
Grace: To do a good deed ...
Gary: And see something nice in the people around them.
Grace: And see something nice in the people around them.
Gary: We can either see their faults ...
Grace: We can either see their faults ...
Gary: And frailties ...
Grace: And frailties ...
Gary: Or we can see the love that created them.
Grace: Or we can see the love that created them.
Gary: Right between the eyebrows, say, Seeing the love that creates everyone ...
Grace: Pardon me?
Gary: Between the eyebrows, seeing the love that creates everyone ...
Grace: Seeing the love that creates everyone.
Gary: Side of the eye. Seeing the love that created my father.
Grace: Seeing the love that created my father.
Gary: And that he denied ...
Grace: And that he denied ...
Gary: And that I'm denying.
Grace: And that I'm denying.
Gary: Under the eye. Seeing love all around me.
Grace: Seeing love all around me.
Gary: Under the nose. Seeing love all around me.
Grace: Seeing love all around me.
Gary: Chin point. Turning my stone heart into a loving receptacle.
Grace: Turning my stone heart into a loving receptacle.
Gary: Top of the breast bone. Love in my heart.
Grace: Love in my heart.
Gary: Under the arm. Love in my heart.
Grace: Love in my heart.
Gary: How you feelin' now?
Grace: Much better. I'm really feeling much better. I can't believe it. You know what, Gary? I'm 64 years old. Everybody thinks I am the warmest, most outgoing, loving person in the world. Only you and I know that I am not like that. But I am the greatest actress. I should be in Hollywood. And you have really, just in this telephone conversation, you've gotten right ... You have cut right down to the issue. I can't believe it.
Gary: I'm a nefarious little devil, aren't I? Tap the karate chop spot. And say, Even though I'm a great actress ...
Grace: Even though I'm this great actress ...
Gary: And have this wonderful facade ...
Grace: And have this wonderful facade ...
Gary: Likewise, so does just about everybody I know.
Grace: Likewise, so does just about everybody I know.
Gary: We are all under the illusion ...
Grace: We are all under the illusion ...
Gary: That we're separate bodies ...
Grace: That we're separate bodies ...
Gary: Running around, competing with each other ...
Grace: Running around, competing with each other ...
Gary: With different names and different bank accounts ...
Grace: With different names and different bank accounts...
Gary: And other evidences of being separate ...
Grace: And other evidences of being separate ...
Gary: And don't really recognize ...
Grace: And don't really recognize ...
Gary: It's love that connects us all.
Grace: It's love that connects us all.
Gary: And it's the spiritual source ...
Grace: And it's the spiritual source ...
Gary: That just about everybody denies to one degree or another.
Grace: That just about everybody denies to one degree or another.
Gary: If we could only drop our resistance to love ...
Grace: If we could only drop our resistance to love ...
Gary: Most of the problems we have ...
Grace: Most of the problems we have ...
Gary: Would just simply fade.
Grace: Would just simply fade.
Gary: Love is a recognition ...
Grace: Love is a recognition ...
Gary: Nobody has a stone heart.
Grace: Nobody has a stone heart.
Gary: If they did, they'd be dead.
Grace: If they did, they'd be dead.
Gary: Cause stone hearts don't beat.
Grace: Cause stone hearts don't beat.
Gary: My heart beats.
Grace: My heart beats.
Gary: And with every beat, I could recognize love.
Grace: And with every beat, I could recognize love.
Gary: And I could probably even find some things I could do with my children ...
Grace: And I could probably even find some things I could do with my children ...
Gary: That would evidence my love ...
Grace: That would evidence my love ...
Gary: Not just on a cosmetic level ...
Grace: Not just on a cosmetic level ...
Gary: But I mean really find something where I could connect with them.
Grace: But I mean really find something where I could connect with them.
Gary: There's a poem I could write.
Grace: There's a poem I could write.
Gary: Or a story I could tell.
Grace: Or a story I could tell.
Gary: Or a song I could sing.
Grace: Or a song I could sing.
Gary: Or a hand I could hold.
Grace: Or a hand I could hold.
Gary:Like I've never held before.
Grace: Like I've never held before.
Gary: That can communicate not only to them ...
Grace: That could communicate not only to them ...
Gary: But to me.
Grace: But to me.
Gary: As well.
Grace: As well.
Gary: What love is.
Grace: What love is.
Gary: O.K. Tap between the eyebrow points. Recognizing what love is.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: Side of the eye. Recognizing what love is.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: Under the eye.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: Under the nose.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: Chin point.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: Breast bone.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: And under the arm.
Grace: Recognizing what love is.
Gary: How's your headache?
Grace: Everything is better. Everything is much better.
Gary: O.K. I have this background being an engineer. And I have this little left brain digital thing. Somehow, numbers I need.
Grace: I'm sorry, Gary.
Gary: Let's start with the headache. The headache we ended up, it was like a three at one time.
Grace: Right.
Gary: Is that still a three.
Grace: I would say it would be a two.
Gary: A two. And what about the dizziness?
Grace: The dizziness is probably about a two. I would say everything is about a two.
Gary: Everything's about a two.
Grace: Everything is still there. It's just a lot less.
Gary: I think we started like a six, seven or eight or something like that.
Grace: We really did. This is wonderful.
Gary: O.K. Well, we're not done. There's other ... You still have some physical manifestations, etc.that I'd like to have you do now, though is tell me the story of what your father did with your mother. Would you do that for me?
Grace: Sure.
Gary: Remember, the moment you get intense, you stop right there. O.K.? So what happened?
Grace: O.K. I was sleeping and suddenly I was awakened by all sorts of noise in the house.
Gary: O.K. I've got you now at about a three. How am I doing?
Grace: Yea.
Note: What I am doing here is tuning into her and looking at the metaphorical thermometer I have created in my mind's eye. This process is explained in detail in our Steps toward becoming The Ultimate Therapist tapes. It tells me what her intensity is. This is intuitional, of course, and woo-woo to many people. However, anyone can do it. Even the skeptics. All they have to do is practice and develop enough experience to the trust the ability. We all have it.
Gary: So you want to stop right there. You got some intensity, didn't you?
Grace: Right.
Gary: What you don't know is I'm using my intuition. I've got this little thermometer in my head. It goes from zero to 10. What were the noises?
Grace: Shouting. And, you know, thumping.
Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop spot. Even though I heard this shouting and thumping ...
Grace: Even though I heard this shouting and thumping.
Gary: And didn't know what it was ..
Grace: And didn't know what it was ..
Gary: And maybe it scared me ...
Grace: And maybe it scared me ...
Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: Adults do what they do ...
Grace: Adults do what they do ...
Gary: I was only 10 years old.
Grace: I was only 10 years old.
Gary: I love and forgive myself for my responses.
Grace: I love and forgive myself for my responses.
Gary: Between the eyebrows. Shouting and thumping.
Grace: Shouting and thumping.
Gary: Side of the eye. My response ...
Grace: My response ...
Gary: Under the eye. Shouting and thumping.
Grace: Shouting and thumping.
Gary: Under the nose. My response.
Grace: My response.
Gary: Chin point. Shouting and thumping.
Grace: Shouting and thumping.
Gary: Breast bone point. My response.
Grace: My response.
Gary: Under the arm. Shouting and thumping.
Grace: Shouting and thumping.
Gary: Say this for me, I heard all that shouting and thumping.
Grace: I heard all that shouting and thumping.
Gary: Now, what number do you get on that?
Grace: Not much.
Gary: Continue on with the story.
Grace: So I heard all this shouting and thumping. And I was lying listening to it. And then I realized what it was and got up and left my bedroom and walked down the hallway. And I saw my mother.
Gary: When you said hallway, I got a six. Did you notice it?
Grace: You mean when I came out of the room?
Gary: When you said, When I walked down the hallway. At the moment you said that, my little thermometer went up to a six. It's not always accurate.
Grace: Now why is that? Why would you say that?
Gary: Because I'm tuning in to you. And that's just what I got.
Grace: That's so out of tune.
Gary: That's okay. That doesn't make me right. I'm sitting here questioning because I've got to make sure we're stopping at the right spots. I got a six for some reason.
Grace: Maybe it's the seeing. Because when I walked out, it was louder and I was fully awake by this time. Maybe it was when the idea struck me of what was going on. That was pretty scary.
Gary: It was scary at the time. I'm concerned with your emotional response to it right now as you are tuned into it.
Grace: Well, yea. I'm getting dizzy, nauseous.
Gary: Because of what?
Grace: I guess because of talking about it. Seeing it. Thinking about it.
Note: This is what I meant by her being at a 6. I don't think she understood what I was saying about the thermometer earlier. Nonetheless, I picked up on her intensity and so we proceed.
Gary: O.K. Tap the karate chop spot. Even though I saw what I saw ..
Grace: Even though I saw what I saw ..
Gary: And didn't know how to interpret it ...
Grace: And didn't know how to interpret it ...
Gary: Cause I only had the experiences ...
Grace: Cause I only had the experiences ...
Gary: Of a 10--year-old.
Grace: Of a 10-year-old.
Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: I leave my father and his big needs to him.
Grace: I leave my father and his big needs to him.
Gary: Even though it was no fun for my mother.
Grace: Even though it was no fun for my mother.
Gary: Who was my real link to love.
Grace: Who was my real link to love.
Gary: At least that's what I thought.
Grace: At least that's what I thought.
Gary: Tap on the eyebrow. Seeing what I saw ...
Grace: Seeing what I saw ...
Gary: Side of the eye. Forgiveness.
Grace: Forgiveness.
Gary: Under the eye. Leaving it be.
Grace: Leaving it be.
Gary: Under the nose. My father was doing the best he could given his own background ..
Grace: My father was doing the best he could given his own background...
Gary: And beliefs.
Grace: And beliefs.
Gary: And things he had been taught.
Grace: And things he had been taught.
Gary: And experiences he had had.
Grace: And experiences he had had.
Gary: As he was growing up.
Grace: As he was growing up.
Gary: Chin point. Leaving my father be.
Grace: Leaving my father be.
Gary: Breast point. Detaching myself from all of this.
Grace: Detaching myself from all of this.
Gary: Is just what people do.
Grace: Is just what people do.
Gary: I may not like it.
Grace: I may not like it.
Gary: But people do these things.
Grace: But people do these things.
Gary: I let the stone casing from my heart ...
Grace: I let the stone casing from my heart ...
Gary: Crumble away.
Grace: Crumble away.
Gary: And let the beating heart replace it.
Grace: And let the beating heart replace it.
Gary: And send my father the one thing he always needed.
Grace: And send my father the one thing he always needed.
Gary: And interestingly, the one thing I always needed.
Grace: And interestingly, the one thing I always needed.
Gary: And that's love.
Grace: And that's love.
Gary: Under the arm. Sending love.
Grace: Sending love.
Gary: Do me a favor if you would at this point. And hear my instructions before you do it. What I'd like to have you do is close your eyes in a moment. In a moment, don't do it now. And then vividly imagine everything that you saw in the most stark detail. And the moment you get intense, you tell me, O.K.? You stop. But I want to see how you do with that. So go ahead now. Close your eyes and with every detail, try to get yourself upset about it. And if you do, stop right there and tell me. Go ahead.
Grace: I find it very upsetting.
Gary: Give me a number you got to.
Grace: An eight.
Gary: Put words around what made you upset.
Grace: I could hear the noise and the screaming from my father choking my mother and slamming her against the wall. And she's just a teeny, tiny, 5-feet-tall, 100-pound person.
Gary: And what did that mean to you?
Grace: It meant he was killing her and taking her away.
Gary: Taking her away from you?
Grace: Right.
Gary: How did your mother die, by the way?
Grace: Kidney disease. She got sick like on Saturday and was dead the next Friday. And we never knew she was sick.
Gary: Tap the karate chop spot. Even though my father ...
Grace: Even though my father ...
Gary: Was taking my mother away ...
Grace: Was taking my mother away ...
Gary: What he was really taking away ...
Grace: What he was really taking away ...
Gary: Was my only connection at the time ...
Grace: Was my only connection at the time ...
Gary: To love.
Grace: To love.
Gary: You take that away there's nothing left to Grace.
Grace: You take that away there's nothing left to Grace.
Gary: Is that a true statement?
Grace: Yes.
Gary: O.K. I've been living for decades since ...
Grace: I've been living for decades since ...
Gary: There must be something going on here ...
Grace: There must be something going on here ...
Gary: He didn't really take everything ...
Grace: He didn't really take everything ...
Gary: It was just my perception.
Grace: It was just my perception.
Gary: What happened was, I gave everything ...
Grace: What happened was, I gave everything ...
Gary: To my mother in the circumstances ...
Grace: To my mother in the circumstances ...
Gary: And perceived that it just disappeared.
Grace: And perceived that it just disappeared.
Gary: And it was no longer in my control.
Grace: And it was no longer in my control.
Gary: I could sit down ...
Grace: I could sit down ...
Gary: And write my father a letter.
Grace: And write my father a letter.
Gary: And I could get behind what he was doing ...
Grace: And I could get behind what he was doing ...
Gary: And I could recall why he would do them ...
Grace: And I could recall why he would do them ...
Gary: From what I know of his background ...
Grace: From what I know of his background ...
Gary: And his own parents ...
Grace: And his own parents ...
Gary: And his own frustrations ...
Grace: And his own frustrations ...
Gary: And what he perceives that society does to him ...
Grace: And what he perceives society has done to him ...
Gary: And what other people would do to him ...
Grace: And what other people had done to him ...
Gary: And how he had to square the tables ...
Grace: And how he had to square the tables ...
Gary: Or somehow or other react ...
Grace: Or somehow or other react ...
Gary: To what was his own inside job.
Grace: To what was his own inside job.
Gary: It was frightening to a 10-year-old.
Grace: It was frightening to a 10-year-old.
Gary: It would be frightening to a 30-year-old.
Grace: It would be frightening to a 30-year-old.
Gary: But if I wrote in that letter and really understood ...
Grace: But if I wrote in that letter and really understood ...
Gary: I mean REALLY understood ...
Grace: I mean REALLY understood ...
Gary: And knew where he was coming from ...
Grace: And knew where he was coming from ...
Gary: And knew that that letter represented love ...
Grace: And knew that that letter represented love ...
Gary: My love to him ...
Grace: My love to him ...
Gary: Which he was incapable of giving to me ...
Grace: Which he was incapable of giving to me ...
Gary: Or for that matter, maybe no one else ...
Grace: Or for that matter, no one else ...
Gary: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Grace: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Gary: I make a little hole in that stone encasement ...
Grace: I make a little hole in that stone encasement ...
Gary: And let my father sneak in.
Grace: And let my father sneak in.
Gary: And let the stone fall away.
Grace: And let the stone fall away. That's so lovely.
Gary: I can either emulate my mother's love ...
Grace: I can either emulate my mother's love ...
Gary: Or encase it in stone.
Grace: Or encase it in stone.
Gary: It is my choice.
Grace: It is my choice.
Gary: It has always been my choice.
Grace: It has always been my choice.
Gary: Things do not need to scare me anymore.
Grace: Things do not need to scare me anymore.
Gary: I'm no longer 10.
Grace: I'm no longer 10.
Gary: O.K. Between the eyebrows. Writing my father that lovely letter.
Grace: Writing my father that lovely letter.
Gary: Side of the eye. Seeing love in my father.
Grace: Seeing love in my father.
Gary: Under the eye. My father was incapable of love.
Grace: My father was incapable of love.
Gary: Under the nose. Carrying on my mother's love.
Grace: Carrying on my mother's love.
Gary: Chin point. Carrying on my mother's love.
Grace: Carrying on my mother's love.
Gary: Breast bone point. Same thing.
Grace: Carrying on my mother's love.
Gary: And under the arm. Same thing.
Grace: Carrying on my mother's love.
Gary: How you doin' now?
Grace:Well. I would say better. I have some residual-like head problems. Maybe a two. I can't understand how ... Does everybody have the same problems? Because I can't understand how, after I made one phone call to you, you know my whole problem. It's astounding.
Gary: Well, I don't know that everybody has the same ... Yea, in a way everybody has the same problem. But this is just a philosophy of mine. O.K? The ultimate problem for all of us has to do with our lack of spiritual grounding. We're just not taught that in schools, and so on. I don't know. We're all one, that's my view, Grace, we're all one. And the fact that I can tune into you is just evidence of that. You know, it's a matter of trying to do it. You see, you have the sense that your heart or love, I should say, is encased in stone. Bad metaphor cause you can't get out of a stone encasement. We could encase it in cellophane, I suppose. As long as you're going to use a metaphor, you might as well use that one.
Grace: It's just ... I cannot believe, like I say, that you have just cut right through all of this and you have just on the telephone gotten to the heart of the matter.
Gary: Interesting metaphor. Heart of the matter.
Grace: Exactly.
Gary: We're not done. But see, what we've done there is given you some insights into where things can go with this process. I would also point out to you that compared to other procedures you've used, EMDR in this case, that there was ... while some of this wasn't much fun for you, there's relatively little pain. Relatively speaking. Now, do I say that correctly?
Grace: I would say that was true. When I had my EMDR treatment in Chicago, it took me about an hour and then I completely crashed.
Gary: Meaning you had a lot of problems?
Grace: Right.
Gary: Is that what crashed means?
Grace: Right. So I'm hoping that that's not going to happen now.
Gary: Well, if it does, I'd like to know it. But it's not likely. Once in a while, people have a little residual. They'll think of something later in the evening. But typically what it is Grace, and I'll just make you aware of this, if something does come up, it will tend to be something we didn't work on. It will tend to be some other issue, some other ... we call it an aspect ... that shows up later on that really wasn't part of the problem as we were working on it today. It just shows up later on. And that would be a separate problem to deal with with another round of tapping.
Grace: This is so different from the EMDR because I think that you were really so thorough. It's that you actually felt that it was not the beating up of my mother. It was my father who couldn't love. And it was the loss of my mother's love that was threatened. And that is my problem. I know that is my problem. Intellectually, I am so brilliant, but I don't seem to be able to do anything with it.
Gary: We all have these games we play, you know. Everybody has their games.
Grace: If I know the problem, why is it that I can't do anything? Why is it that I'm still not feeling well?
Gary: Well, you're a bit too close to it. That's why it helps to have somebody from the outside, a detective if you will, who's able to tune into you. And then use this ... It's rather a startling technique. You probably gave a lot of weight to the detective work, if you will, but I will tell you that a lot of what went on here, from a relief point of view, had to do with the tapping. It may be new to you, and you may not recognize that, but that is my experience.
Grace: Does that mean that this is finished now or what?
Gary: No, no. I'll tell you something. No one is ever finished. We may get someone over their fear of heights. We may get you over this particular issue with your father beating your mother, etc. And we may make headway with being able to exude love. But I'll tell you, even the most expressive people with love can still do it better. You know what I mean?
Grace: Right.
Gary: So that's an ongoing thing we always have in front of us. We always have blocks to that. So what we're dealing with here is some blocks you've had. They are substantial. You still have some physical stuff. And we are not done. We have made headway to date. And chances are you will have relief from this. It will not be the same kind of issue for you in the future. But other things will come up. So as they come up, you need to address them. Love's a nice thing to have, you know?
Grace: It certainly is. Now how do I address this from here?
Gary: I'll turn the recording off.
Note: A few months after this, Grace hooked up with an experienced EFT'er who continued moving her forward in her healing. Interestingly, the issue about Dad-beat-up-Mom seemed to have been resolved. Other issues came up, of course, but that one seemed to be a non-event.
