Tutorial--Borrowing Benefits

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Stay with me on this one. This procedure has the potential to....

1. Allow many people to achieve substantial emotional freedom IN THEIR LIVING ROOMS without having to become an expert in the fine points of EFT.
2. Dramatically accelerate the deep (core issue) work that can be done in groups.

It's not perfect. Not everyone will get dramatic results and oftentimes people will need professional guidance to maximize the process. But, in my experience, most people should benefit in a big way. It's also easy ... very easy ... to do. In fact, many people can get solid results without knowing a thing about EFT. I wish I had thought of this before.

While I will be developing the idea below with some personal experiences, let me state up front that it involves tapping along while someone else is undergoing EFT. Interestingly, if you keep your own issue "in the background" while tapping for someone, you will likely resolve your issue EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE TAPPING FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. You will, in effect, be creating your own parallels and "Borrowing Benefits" from someone else.

Here's how I came across the idea....

A few months ago I had the occasion to demonstrate EFT to a group of 15 newbies. I asked for a volunteer to work with me in front of the group and "Laura" agreed to explore a highly personal, very severe abusive issue from her childhood.

Interestingly, this diverse group had nothing in common with each other. They were strangers from all over the U.S. who had gathered together as part of a large conference to explore personal improvement. My demonstration was a small subset of this larger conference.

Since I didn't have much time (about 30 minutes) and since I wanted to give them as much personal exposure to the EFT procedures as possible, I thought I would try an experiment. I asked each of the audience members to tune into a specific event in their past that was still bothersome to them. I asked for the most intense one they could find and then had them rate the current intensity on a 0-10 point scale. They ranged from 7 to 10.

I then had each of them make a mental movie of this event and write down titles to their movies as well as their 0-10 intensity ratings. This whole process only took a few minutes and allowed everyone to "tune in" to an issue they could tap on.

Then, while working with Laura, I asked the audience to tap along with us AS THOUGH THEY WERE TAPPING FOR LAURA'S ISSUE. They were to say the exact same words and to tap in the exact same places JUST AS THOUGH THEY WERE LAURA. My speculation was that each person would make some headway on their own issue because I had primed them to have "in the background" awareness of it. I was hoping their systems would draw useful parallels from my session with Laura.

The results both puzzled and surprised me. After delving (for 20 minutes) into many aspects of Laura's issue THAT WERE SEEMINGLY PERSONAL AND UNIQUE TO HER, we finally achieved emotional freedom on her specific event. As a test, I asked her to go outside the room where she could be by herself and literally try to get upset. When she came back in, she was all smiles and could not bring up any trace of her previous tears, anger, etc. We had successfully collapsed the charge on her intense issue--including all the aspects.

Out of curiosity, I asked each audience member to tune back into their original specific events. To my delight, all of them...and I mean ALL of them...reported 0's and 1's on their previously intense issues (remember--they were originally ranked from 7 to 10).

How could this be? After all, THEY WERE PRESUMABLY TAPPING FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S ISSUE. They weren't digging into the nitty-gritty details of their own nasty event. Nor were they using any customized language or specific detective work to uncover their own core issues. There were no apparent tears or anxious moments, either. They just sat there tapping along. Nonetheless, they all reported dramatic results. Their previous issues became non-events in minutes.

Hmmmmm.

Then, about a month ago, I was giving a two day workshop at the Toronto Energy Psychology Conference where Marcia Platt agreed to work with me in front of 75 people on a business success issue. As an experiment, I asked the entire audience to pick out a specific event of their own. And, just like with the Laura example above, I asked them to TAP ALONG WITH MARCIA AS THOUGH THEY WERE MARCIA. There was no requirement that these events be business related--they could be on anything.

In typical fashion, Marcia and I quickly landed on a specific event with her father that was foundational (core) for her business issue. It had many aspects, of course, and I spent 20-30 minutes tapping on every piece I could find while, all the while, THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS TAPPED ALONG USING THE SAME TAPPING POINTS AND THE SAME LANGUAGE AS THOUGH THEY WERE MARCIA.

At the end, I asked how many noticed dramatic results on their individual issues and 70% of them raised their hands. This translates to almost 100% because 25-30% of the audience had been "tapped out" after a two day tapping workshop and chose not to tap along. Thus most of those participating reported dramatic results.

Fascinating, eh! I just called Marcia for a followup and she reminded me of the numerous people who came up to her afterwards and commented on the parallels between her situation and theirs. Mind you, the details were obviously different BUT THESE PEOPLE'S SYSTEMS APPEARED TO MAKE THE NECESSARY PARALLELS. Thus they got major benefits just by following along. Painless but profound.

To me, it is undeniable that major benefits can be gained through this method. Not only do people tune into their own parallels during this process but we also must recognize the spiritual concept of Oneness at work here. We are connected. We are One--even though it seems otherwise.

Also, professional guidance can be critical for gaining the most benefit from this process and some customization after the fact is a good idea. I heartily recommend this. In addition, I recommend that professionals use this process in group work as I think you can dramatically accelerate healing with it.

It's also a perfect item for healing professionals to assign as homework between sessions. Just send your clients home with some of the filmed sessions from our training videos. They are loaded with sessions that are ideal for this. It is easy for them to follow along. They need only sit in their living rooms, identify an issue (specific event) and tap along with someone else's issue on the video. Their systems will come up with their own parallels and allow Oneness to do its thing. Newcomers don't even need experience with EFT to benefit. Just parrot the words and tap in the same places where people are tapping on the video.

It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the best results will occur while groups of people perform this together--that's a Oneness concept--but it is also clear to me that many people can achieve major benefits just by tapping alone in front of their television sets or computer screens.

More later.

Hugs, Gary

P.S.  Here's a possible CAVEAT:  This technique may bring to the surface other issues that need addressing, perhaps ones that you may not even be aware of. This happens rarely but such possibilities can occur, so if you find yourself becoming more upset during the course of this exercise rather than the other way , know that you have an opportunity which may be very useful for you.   In this case STOP IMMEDIATELY and use this situation to go deeper (or get help from a qualified professional).  Unless you can identify a new aspect that is surfacing for you and address it directly, you might try tapping on, "Even though something else bothers me about this..." .. This can be a way of unearthing hidden aspects of a problem and clearing them systematically -- a bonus of sorts

More on Borrowing Benefits

Hi Everyone,

I received many enthusiastic responses to my recent introduction of the "Borrowing Benefits" feature of EFT. For many, it represents a big step toward speed and efficiency in the delivery of these procedures.

Simply stated, the process allows someone with little or no experience in EFT to tap along while someone else is undergoing EFT (e.g. in a session, seminar, group or video) and often experience profound benefits. This is true even though the issues being tapped on appear to be widely different. This does NOT suggest that professional help should be avoided. Rather, it proposes a tool that could substantially aid the therapeutic process.

Here are some further thoughts/benefits regarding this idea.

1. For many people, the process allows an additional measure of emotional safety. As you know, EFT is normally quite gentle but a few people people tune in to some pretty intense stuff and it takes awhile to bring them down. With the Borrowing Benefits feature, however, the client merely identifies their issue and then taps along with someone else on an issue that is seemingly quite different. Thus a sort of detachment is injected into the process while the client's original issue is being addressed "in the background."

This, in my experience, helps to minimize any unwanted intensity while still getting the job done. The process may or may not give complete resolution to an issue but, properly done, it is likely to at least take the edge off (probably much more). Very efficient. Very useful. Very humane.

2. This can also be a superb way to conveniently get at core issues so that truly deep work can be done. This ability depends, of course, on how thoroughly and creatively EFT is being applied. If the person undergoing the direct treatment is fortunate enough to be in the hands of an EFT Master, then the odds for true deep work increase for all parties involved. The Masters of this process have learned to search for and relieve those pesky aspects, core issues and bothersome remnants that show up with complicated issues.

3. An easy way to tap along with creative EFT sessions is to pick certain sessions out of your EFT training videos. As you know, these videos are filled with actual sessions and many of them are quite involved. You can identify your own issue and then tap along with the video while IN YOUR LIVING ROOM. Interestingly, the subject matter of these sessions doesn't seem to matter because your system tends to draw its own parallels. If you want, though, you can tap along with several of them.

As always, I must caution that some people should not attempt any form of healing technique without the presence of a skilled professional. Thus, you must take responsibility for any use you make of EFT.

Here, for your perusal, is a list of the video sessions you might consider...

TRY THESE SESSIONS FROM THE EFT COURSE:

• Part I, DVD 1b...Dave: Fear of water
• Part I, DVD 2b...Cindy: Shoulder pain
• Part I, DVD 2b...Veronica: Raped by father
• Part II, DVD 3...Jason: Anger and betrayal
• Part II, DVD 3...Veronica: Abandonment
• Part II, DVD 3...Sandhya: Holocaust issues
• Part II, DVD 4...Marlys: Love pain
• Part II, DVD 4...Kathy: Fear of being touched
• Part II, DVD 5...Connie: Tightness in the jaw
• Part II, DVD 5...Patricia: Asthma
• Part II, DVD 6...Group EFT on addictive cravings
• Part II, DVD 7...Group EFT on phobias

TRY THESE SESSIONS FROM STEPS TOWARD BECOMING THE ULTIMATE THERAPIST: Many of these are more detailed than from The EFT Course

• DVD 6...Tom: Fear of public speaking
• DVD 9...Gibson: "Fight" memory
• DVD 9...Leslie: "Attack" memory
• DVD 11...Craig: Bashful bladder
• DVD 11...Martha: Being reserved
• DVD 12...David: Fear of public speaking
• DVD 12...Joyce: Health issue (cancer)
• DVD 13...Jane: Accident

In addition there are group sessions from this DVD set on...

• Chasing the pain
• Imagining the tapping
• Breathing constrictions

TRY THESE SESSIONS FROM EFT TO THE PALACE OF POSSIBILITIES:

There are numerous sessions sprinkled throughout the 13 videos in this series and all of them would be useful for Borrowing Benefits. Some of them are one-on-one work while others take the form of work I do with the entire audience on...

• Physical pain (of particular interest would be the case where I stop to work with Lori's broken nose)
• Addictive cravings
• Breathing issues
• Traumatic memories
• Phobias
• Business blocks

4. Finally, there is a superb benefit awaiting therapists delivering these procedures to their clients. Therapists need only identify (privately) an issue of their own and then tap along with the client. Dr. Jane Holmes brought this idea to my attention. Here is how she put it....

"It occurred to me that this could be a wonderful method not only for therapists to teach their clients and to use in groups, but it could also provide personal benefits for therapists, as they tap along with their clients (as many of us do already). I almost always tap on my own meridian points as I lead the client through the tapping procedure. However I have never thought of taking the preliminary step of tuning into one of my own issues as background before tapping along with the client on the client's issue. I am eagerly looking forward to trying this in my next session. It would certainly eliminate the excuse of "I never have the time to stop and work on my own issues! Thanks!"

Hope this helps.

Love, Gary

More on Borrowing Benefits from Dr. Carol Look

Thought for the day....

"Two men look out,
From behind prison bars.
One sees mud,
The other sees stars."

Doug Hooper

*************************

Hi Everyone,

I recently introduced "Borrowing Benefits" as an EFT tool to assist people in getting to core issues. Basically, it involves tapping along with someone else's issue while watching an EFT session during a seminar or on tape. While not perfect, it often generates quality results and provides a way to open the door to core issues.

Dr. Carol Look shares her experiences with "Borrowing Benefits" and directs us to more uses--including tapping along to your own audiotaped session. She shares her ideas with her usual style and clarity and provides a poignant personal note at the end.

Hugs, Gary

*************************************************

I started hearing about the phenomenon of 'Borrowing Benefits' during the first EFT class I taught in New York. Participants came up to me at the break and told me how their issues were partially resolved or mysteriously diluted as a result of tapping for the person involved in the demonstration in front of the group. This has been my experience in all subsequent classes. Group benefits never cease to amaze me.

I conduct telephone sessions with clients all across the country, and many people audiotape the sessions. I usually assign between-session 'homework' of listening to and tapping along with our taped session. No extra work, no thinking or analyzing is required. What could be easier than just mimicking words and the tapping directions from our tape? (Over the phone, I instruct the person when to move from spot to spot so this is clear on the tape).

Nearly 100% of the time, clients tell me they enjoy this assignment. They land on new insights, and they feel as if they have been given the advantage of another session free of charge. Many clients report that new aspects surface, deeper layers emerge and are then cleared, and that listening to a tape of themselves allows them a healthy emotional distance that feels empowering. The clearest articulation of this benefit came from Kishan Ballal, who gave me his full permission to quote him: 'It occurred to me to hear it as if I was listening to a complete stranger, who I have NO emotional history/entanglements with that mental dissociation seems to allow me to get out of the way and be lightly curious rather than desperately trying'

Another kind of borrowing that I have found helpful came out of my hypnosis training. Clients often ask what they should do when in a public setting where using EFT would seem socially awkward. I suggest that they use basic visualization techniques by closing their eyes and acting as if they are using EFT. I recommend that they BORROW me during this exercise by pretending to 'see' me tapping with them, 'hear' me making suggestions of what to say, and to 'feel' me (or themselves) tapping their spots. Many of them also 'borrow' me when they feel stuck and lack the confidence to come up with the right set-up phrases in the privacy of their living rooms. This works consistently well. (As you can imagine, many clients love 'borrowing' Gary in this same way and pretend he is the one making suggestions and tapping for them. Imagine where we'd be if we hadn't been borrowing from Gary all these years. :-)

Additional Angles on Borrowing:

1) Look into a mirror as you tap for your deepest emotional conflicts. This works especially well for chronic low self-esteem issues. Sometimes my clients who are calling for a phone session from their office look at their reflection in their computer screen to enhance the emotional release during the session. In the same way that affirmations will automatically bring up a 'tail-ender', looking in the mirror when you say 'I deeply and completely accept myself' will trigger discomfort that is then exposed and addressed during the treatment.

2) Pull out old family photos and notice how you look/feel in them. First, tap as a surrogate FOR the younger you in the photo: 'Even though she looks sad, she was a good daughter' and then directly, 'Even though I felt angry during this family holiday, I deeply and completely accept myself.' This technique accesses vivid feelings and thus leads the way to profound healing and emotional integration.

3) Finally, I ask clients who watch a great deal of television or frequent movie theaters to tap for the characters' distress; 'Even though she feels insecure around that man', 'Even though she won't admit the failure is her fault', 'Even though he's afraid to confront the situation' The clients do not have to identify their own issues first, just tap for the distress that their own system can't help but tune into as a result of witnessing someone else's discomfort on the big screen.

A final note about borrowing:

Many thanks to all of you from whom I have borrowed strength, compassion and hope throughout these past few years. Two weeks before Christmas, less than three years after her initial diagnosis, my sister Charlotte died of cancer. Without the potency of EFT or your support and kind words, I am certain I would never have been able to tolerate the months preceding or the weeks following my sister's death. Nor would I have been able to gather and maintain the energy to deliver a triumphant funeral eulogy in front of 400 profoundly bereft friends and family. I was asked, 'Where did you get the energy?', 'How did you pull that off?', 'Were the words channeled from God and your sister?' Needless to say, I had few answers. What I do know is that I have never been alone, was not alone when speaking in the church, and have not been alone in my grief.

My sister's enduring courage and grace, palpable even when she knew she was about to leave behind her husband, two small children, our parents and three sisters, will serve as a model from which I will borrow for the rest of my life. Our lessons seemed different, however, we were both deeply nourished from sharing this experience. I borrowed from her impressively simple acceptance of death while she borrowed from my love of life. And as I told the funeral crowd, I would gladly go through this pain again if it would give her the relief she earned and deserved the night of her death.

Many of you have no idea how generous you have been. Often, without your knowledge, and frequently with your permission, I have borrowed heavily from your wisdom and your courage to share and grow. Your strength, your stories, your perseverance and your willingness to embrace vulnerability through risk and self-revelation have all been of deep value to me as a reader and contributor to this email list.

With my profound gratitude,

Carol Look

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