By Michael White

Gary,

"John" came to see me and wanted some help with what he called, "The worst addiction in the world!" He had a wife, kids and a great job and was very successful except for this very shameful habit.  When I asked what he was addicted to, he choked out the word, "pornography" 

He went to "peep shows" and had a collection of magazines and dvds and had an elaborate system of hiding his internet activities.  He was worried because his tastes were getting more violent and "hardcore" and was terrified of being discovered.  He spent most of his time at work thinking about ways he could "sneak it" and it was affecting his performance.  He was also moody and distracted at home.

I didn't need to do a 0-10 intensity rating because his intensity was apparent.  I started tapping with him.

"Even though I am terrified to admit that I have this problem I completely accept and love myself!"

"Even though it's impossible to accept what I have done..."

"I can't face my wife!"

"I can't face my children!"

"I'm a sicko!  Even though I'm a pervert, I completely and deeply accept myself!"

"Even though I have done this for so long, it feels impossible to change..."

"Even though I don't want to quit!"

Aha!  This was a big one.  When we stopped to rest, I asked if he actually wanted to quit and he said, "Actually no.  It's the only time I feel calm and relaxed!"

So we tapped again.

"Even though this is the only time I feel calm and relaxed."

"Even though I feel powerful when I look at pornograpy!"

"I can find other ways to feel alive!"

"I have anxiety and I accept it!" 

"I accept that I am tranquilizing myself!"

We talked about how the porn was way to tranquilizing underlying anxieties.  His eyes lit up and said, "I feel very powerful and in control when I look at porn.  I didn't realize that I don't feel that power in other areas of my life!"

We tapped on this some more and I gave him tapping homework.  He was to list out his earliest experiences with pornography, sex and dating.  I also suggested that he allow his unconscious to have at least 3 choices in this situation.  He can allow his unconscious to completely want to look at porn, he can want to look at porn a little bit, or he can want to do something else.  This made a lot of sense to him and he said, "I get it!  I have a choice now!"

I asked him to report back to me any changes.  He called a week later and said, "I still feel the urges, but they are lessening and I did look a couple of times.  But when I did, I tapped and got bored quickly and left those websites.  Now I'm working on getting rid of all of my hidden porn!  This is really working and my wife notices my better mood!"

This addiction, like many others, have a lot of shame, judgment, and secrecy involved.  EFT is a great way to give people back their lives quickly!

Michael White

More articles on Addictions and Substance Abuse