Being Specific

EFT for a bashful bladder - a beautiful example of going for SPECIFIC EVENTS

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

You will enjoy reading this article by Dr. Suzanne Lerner. Note how getting to a SPECIFIC EVENT was the key to success. She says, "We first tapped on his fear of someone walking in, his shame about having this problem, and also his fear that it might never get better.  His distress came down some, but it seemed that there was something else "driving" the symptom.  Some careful questioning led to an event in his past that seemed clearly related."

Hugs, Gary


By Suzanne ib Lerner, PhD

Hi Gary,

In your DVDs you worked very skillfully with a workshop participant who suffered from "bashful bladder."  For people who haven't heard of this term, it refers to the inability to urinate when others are present.  This can become very disruptive to a person's life, as they must avoid situations where they would have to use a public bathroom.  While behavioral therapy can sometimes treat this by de-conditioning the anxiety, it can often take 6-10 sessions to accomplish, and still doesn't address any underlying issues that may exist.  I love the way EFT so elegantly treats both the symptom and the underlying issue.  It's like you get twice the value in every session!

I recently had the opportunity to work with a man who suffered from "bashful bladder" at a moderate to severe level.  He had been plagued by this problem for years.  He worked at a place where he could only take breaks at restricted times.  So if he was in the bathroom, and someone walked in, he had to pretend he was "done" and walk around with a painfully full bladder.  He often avoided social occasions, because he might be stranded without a place to relieve himself.

We first tapped on his fear of someone walking in, his shame about having this problem, and also his fear that it might never get better.  His distress came down some, but it seemed that there was something else "driving" the symptom.  Some careful questioning led to an event in his past that seemed clearly related.

GC COMMENT: Excellent! Finding SPECIFIC EVENTS is often the key to thorough work with EFT.

This man's family was from a foreign country.  They moved to Utah, into an extremely homogeneous community, when he was quite young.  He felt alienated, and was picked on mercilessly, just for his different appearance.

This man is very gentle and kind, but all those kids could see were his "differences."  Well... it turned out that one day, while he was at the urinal, "doing his business," one of the older kids standing behind him, peed on him.  Some part of "John" had a hard time dealing with this humiliating experience.  So he had explained it to himself and now to me as, "just a mistake."

It was a sensitive situation.  His denial had protected him in some ways, but the pain underneath the denial was still not addressed.  I was so glad to have EFT.  So I worked with these set-up phrases:

Even though, this guy peed on me…

Even though this guy peed on me, and it was really yucky,…

Even though this guy peed on me, and it was just a mistake, I sure didn't like it, and I deeply and completely love and accept all of my feelings.

We then used the reminder phrase: "he peed on me."

As his distress levels came down, we were able to talk more freely about the situation.  He began to be able to admit that it probably wasn't a mistake.  Now this old pain and shame could finally be cleared and released.  I use a Parts Model, dialoging with his conflicted "inner parts."  This way, both sides of the internal conflict get to be voiced and healed.  So I used these set-up phrases:

Even though this guy peed on me, and a part of me told myself it was just a mistake; another part of me felt really hurt and ashamed…

Even though this guy peed on me from behind, and part of me knows it was no accident…

So, even though that guy peed on me, and he probably did it on purpose, it's not my fault!  He's the one who was wrong, not me.  He was ignorant.  I was a good kid.  There was nothing wrong with me. He's the one with the problem.

We used a few reminder phrases: "he peed on me" "it wasn't my fault" "I was a good kid" & "He's got a problem, not me."

Knowing that as an adult, "John" had traveled all over the world, we were able to integrate his adult wisdom about diversity, with his younger picked upon self. His distress levels came down to zero.  In addition, making this breakthrough helped him to acknowledge other painful events with bullies that occurred at that school. We then cleared these events beautifully with EFT.

Well... the next week I got a call.  It turns out that he'd been really desperate to get rid of this problem.  New to EFT and not knowing if it would "really work" he had also signed up for a behavioral de-conditioning program that met the weekend after our session.

John reported: "Well, I guess the EFT really worked."  He went on to share: "I enjoyed the seminar, it was good to be with other people who shared a similar problem.  But the funny thing is, the evening before the seminar, I WENT TO THE MALL AND PEED NO PROBLEM!  So it must have been the EFT, 'cause I never could have done that before, and I hadn't even started the seminar!"  Then he added: "A funny thing happened too, during the Workshop.  When we had to think about the issue, everyone else in the group got really, really stressed and nervous talking about it, but I wasn't bothered at all.  I felt totally at ease."  (SMILE)

Such is the power of EFT.  Symptoms erased, old issues cleared, and a new calm, relaxed perspective about the whole ordeal!  I love watching my clients blossom, as they are freed from their inner, outdated movies.

HOORAY FOR EFT!

Suzanne i.b. Lerner, PhD

 

 

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