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Articles & Ideas


Are you suppressing your EFT talents?

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Sometimes we fall short of our potential as EFT'ers simply because we haven't cleared some of our personal issues. Note how Aileen Nobles helps her client improve in this regard. Please pay special attention to her use of specific events.

Hugs, Gary

By Aileen Nobles

Hi Gary,

I always find it interesting how clients come in waves of similarities. It can be a few people calling from a certain city, or having the same name, or the same issue. This month was all about EFT practitioners who wanted to be more confident and successful.

The case below may help anyone who had issues of not being validated as they grew up. Perhaps they felt invisible... or were not paid attention to or felt too small. So many gifted people are still suppressing their talents until they do the necessary clearing, which can be accomplished with EFT.

"Debbie" called me up because she wanted to be an EFT practitioner, yet did not feel she could work with people who had major issues. She had already been practicing with some success but mostly on easy issues. Now she had reached a stage where she felt incapacitated... too small for the job. Those words "Too small for the job" were her words.

She had recently had a session where the client became emotional, and she felt the panic rising inside her. She had no idea what to do next, and wasn't sure she could get through the session. She did not feel big enough to handle the situation.

She had clear memories of her father hitting her when she was young. He had such high expectations of her, and of course she never measured up... he always wanted more. We accessed one of her memories that was a re-occurring experience throughout her young life. Debbie recounted her story.

"I remember I had to hold out my hand and my Dad took his hand so high above his head and told me when he hit me it would hurt so much I wouldn't be able to use it for a week. I felt so terrified and so small."

She was at a 10 on a scale of 0 to 10 on her level of intensity at this time. We started tapping on the reversal points on the chest (sore spot).

Even though I am so terrified that he's going to hurt me so much...

Tapping on the EFT points:

He makes me feel so terrified.
He's so big and I'm so little.
He said if I do anything else wrong he will hurt me ten times worse next time.
I'm terrified now, and don't know how to do things better.
I'm terrified, powerless, and I don't have any control.
How can he do this to me... doesn't he love me?
I'm not safe, as I never know when he is going to get angry.
I'm not safe around people who get angry, I never have been.
I tried so hard to do everything right.

This theme of not speaking up and not feeling safe has run throughout Debbie's life. Not speaking up to her husband, and most other people. Also avoiding angry, upset people, at all costs.

Debbie now played a movie in her mind's eye, where her father has this look on his face, he furrows his eyebrows in total disappointment and shame as he looks at her and tells her to hold out her hand. As she imagined the old scene she realized she expected it to be so bad that her hand would break. She also saw that although it hurt so much, it was never as bad as she thought it was going to be. This was an important insight. She was tapping on her karate point the whole time.

After the intensity dropped down to around a two I asked her to run a movie where she saw herself getting big, bigger than her father, and she was saying to him.

You know you are a great big bully, and you have been threatening me for years. I always expected it to be so bad that my hand was going to break, and guess what... it's not that bad.

You are not nearly as scary as I thought you were, so I don't have to carry this fear any more of what might happen.

I don't have to carry this fear that I'm not safe if you're not OK.

This was a huge part of Debbie needing to please and make everything OK for everybody, yet being afraid she wouldn't measure up.

Dad you're a bully and full of hot air.

I had her look down on him as she said this, and imagine it was as if she had pricked him with a pin, and all the hot air came out. As he deflates he's getting smaller and smaller.

You were so big to me and now I see your just a little bully.

She held the points under her eyes and said, You're not going to scare me anymore, I'm safe. (Then three deep breaths.)

Although she was laughing now and then, energetically she didn't feel clear to me. When asked what stood out in her memory, it was the look on his face. We did a few rounds on the fear of the furrowed brow, as that always preceded an outburst of his terrifying behavior. The intensity of the incidents of being hit were now down to zero. We explored other times of violent behavior that were stuck in her memory, and she came up with the "Birthday Party."

Debbie recalled an incident that happened on her father's birthday. She and sister and mother had set the table and cooked his favorite meal. He came home with a furrowed brow mean look on his face, and she knew she wasn't safe. She remembered as he opened up his presents and said "This is the s---- you gave me for my birthday?"

He started yelling, and then turned over the dining table with all the food on it. Debbie was so terrified that she hid under the kitchen table because she thought it would get so bad she wouldn't be able to handle it. Her level of intensity was high as she recalled this event. We started with reversal points and then moved into the basic tapping.

Even though I thought I couldn't handle it, I did.

I see he's a bully, full of hot air, and my perception that I had as a little girl is now changed.

I'm not a little girl anymore, and I don't need to carry the old fear with me.

I'm safe, and always have been, even though it didn't seem that way at the time.

I had her run a movie with her father looking ridiculous in a clown costume, tripping over his own feet as he overturned the table. She started laughing as she recounted the situation, and was still tapping on the side of her hand. We brought the intensity of this incident down to zero.

Even though my dad was so bad, he was really damaged himself, and didn't know how to be different; I survived, and am quite wonderful anyway.

My Dad was really screwed up from his own childhood, and that doesn't make it OK, buts it's not as scary any more.

Tears usually flow when it's really time on a deep level to recognize that a parent was doing the best they knew how, based on their own damage.

I'm not going to let him stay inside of me as fear, as I don't deserve it anymore.
Letting go of fear.

Now Debbie mentioned that her father helped her be a good mother. This was a wonderful insight she was now ready to embrace. Instead of being consumed with the damage he had inflicted, she was now aware of how she had grown from it. We tapped on how she had decided not to be like him.

If I could learn how to be a good mother because of him, I can now decide to be strong and safe.
I can reframe that experience and turn it around.

I can also decide that I am strong and safe even if those around me are upset.

Being afraid is an inside job, so I'm letting it go.

I can work with clients even if they get upset and angry, as I'm safe.

I really do want to help people.

I don't need to let other people's pain trigger mine.

If I can be compassionate from a distance and see others in their wholeness; that sets a space for their healing.

I continue my own healing as I help others facilitate their own healing.

We also talked about Debbie having an area that she specialized in that she was comfortable with. She could refer people to other therapists who worked with issues that she wasn't comfortable with. She was now excited and confident to begin helping others.

Debbie is now practicing EFT with a confidence she didn't have before. As she continues to work on herself and clears her other fears, it's possible she will eventually be comfortable enough and "big" enough to handle any issues that come her way. Our Soul's journey is truly enhanced by EFT.

Thank you Gary,
Aileen Nobles


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.