- Articles & Ideas
- Being Specific
- The importance of being specific in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Find Early Specific Events
- How to apply EFT when there are no clear, specific memories to tap on
- Tapping on specific events without knowing what they are
- What to do when you can't find your own specific events or issues
- Two cases: (1) Being Specific and (2) Being General
- EFT for the Soul - global versus specific approaches
- How to collapse multiple SPECIFIC EVENTS in one Borrowing Benefits session
- EFT for a bashful bladder - a beautiful example of going for SPECIFIC EVENTS
- Ann Adams on BEING SPECIFIC
- Using NLP to Chunk Down for specifics in an EFT session
- After trying a different approach for Surrogate EFT, a crying baby quiets down
- Successful Surrogate EFT for Seizures
- Breathing problems, surrogate tapping, depression and Try it on Everything
- Surrogate tapping on an "Entity"
- Surrogate EFT relieves baby
- Some thoughts about surrogate (remote) EFT
- Resolving a family fight with surrogate EFT
- Surrogate tapping on a sneezing attack, Successful use of EFT on a raspy throat AND arm wrestling success using only two fingers.
- Helping Helpers: Using Surrogate EFT for Emergencies
- Surrogate tapping for terrorists
- Surrogate EFT Taken Another Step - Clearing Ancestral (Foundational) Issues
- Surrogate tapping and collarbone breathing
- "Seeing" disrupted energy enhances mental (surrogate) tapping
- Solid motivation to use Surrogate EFT
- Surrogate EFT for Chronic Pulmonary Obstruction Disorder
- Surrogate/distance tapping for Cassie the dog
- Successful surrogate tapping for schizophrenic son
- Surrogate EFT to help patients going through medical procedures
- Surrogate EFT arrests a grand mal seizure
- Beth's Stalker Problem Resolved with Surrogate EFT
- What to do in the hospital
- A surrogate EFT Teddy Bear became a special friend for a housebound woman
- Responses to questions on surrogate muscle testing
- Simple uses of Surrogate EFT during every day conversations
- Surrogate tapping stops serious nose bleed
- Surrogate EFT -- "The pain is leaving now through my fingertips."
- Surrogate EFT substantially aids incontinence, anger, dementia and hearing loss.
- Skeptic of surrogate EFT becomes a believer
- A followup after a surrogate session in Albuquerque--Betsy's impressive results
- A touching story: Easing Mary's death through surrogate EFT
- How to do Intentional (or Surrogate) EFT--a 4 Part Series
- Using surrogate EFT for easing a courtroom testimony
- Living your Dreams with The Hero Technique
- For procrastination: The "Feel the Feeling" Technique
- Creative Uses of The EFT Movie Technique
- Time and Reframing: An Easy Technique that Generates Fast Results
- The benefits of describing EFT as a relaxation technique
- The Gratitude Diet - A Thanksgiving Technique
- Stepping back from the movie in the EFT Movie Technique
- Turning the Movie Technique into a cartoon helps with Dysautonomia episode
- Discovering "core scenes"
- A short version of the Collar Bone Breathing Technique
- Doing the EFT Constricted Breathing Technique a few times a day increased Paul
- The "Let it be Easy" Technique
- EFT and the Double Bubble technique: Or how to successfully deal with chronic issues!
- Variations on EFT's Movie Technique
- Doing the EFT Movie Technique in slow motion -- getting to important and otherwise hidden aspects
- The Stepping into Neutral Technique
- Everyday EFT to Create a Fabulous Life--The Emotional Joy Technique
- The Argument Tapping Technique
- Gwyneth Moss's Imagineering Technique for Endometriosis
- The "Tap while you Gripe" Technique
- The EFT Imagineering Technique
- Refusal Tapping Technique
- The "Turbo-Tapping" Technique
- The Bundling Movie Technique for gently addressing long term abuse cases
- Behind the Scenes of the Movie Technique
- The Volcano Technique
- The Movie Technique for kinesthetic learners
- Ideas for enhancing the standard EFT Setup
- How do I choose the phrases to use while doing EFT?
- Soft language to ease The EFT Set-Up Phrases
- A useful EFT phrase--"Reclaiming" all our possibilities
- How Do You Know What To Say For an EFT Setup Phrase?
- A New Way to Use the
- Using "It's In Here" in the EFT Setup phrase
- Testing our work and personal radiation
- Useful ways to expand the EFT Set-up Phrase
- Jarrod Bailey from Australia experiments with EFT Setup Phrases and explains his findings
- Touch And Breathe--TAB Paper
- Using the 9 Gamut Procedure when emotion gets "stuck in the right brain"
- Tapping on both sides of the body, on feel-good points only, then taking deep breaths after each point
- Injecting "want to" into the EFT Setup language
- EFT Imagineering cleared lungs and improved breathing
- Using the EFT setup statement as a a pledge
- Dr. Carol Look discusses the importance of testing in EFT
- The advantages of using the 9 Gamut Procedure
- EFT to clear chakras and increase vibration
- Testing your EFT work - The
- Adding muscle testing to EFT
- Effectively using "What if" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- A creative way to develop EFT Setup statements
- Gwyneth Moss on Reality Testing
- The Alternate Phrase Technique--tapping on both sides of a conflict.
- Ideas on Muscle Testing, EFT and Developing Intuition
- Why do we use negatives in the EFT setup statement?
- The 3-2-1 process: untangling yourself from others
- Mary Hunt on Intuition: Getting yourself out of the way.
- Thoughts on Surrogate EFT and "getting yourself out of the way"
- Frances Songhurst finally gets a rapid result for herself
- Developing self compassion with persistent EFT
- Karen's thoughts on self forgiveness
- Freeing our "Critical Mind" into Self Acceptance with EFT
- Using "I love THAT about myself" in the EFT process
- Tapping on one's self talk--a great idea for collapsing our "inner critic"
- EFT helps a man look people in the eye
- Self sabotage-healing the parts that don
- EFT gives relief to a self-cutter by first finding emotional causes
- Anja shares her self-healing process
- Getting the most out of self-help books with EFT
- Billy McCombie self applies EFT for an impressive list of benefits
- S-L-O-W EFT for self help on broad issues
- Give Yourself a Gift by Creating an EFT Journal
- Resolving childhood issues with EFT increases compassion for self
- Tapping for negative self-talk - "I am unable to step out of it"
- Paradoxes in validating one's Self
- When self acceptance becomes a problem...
- EFT for relief from feeling responsible for everyone else before taking care of self
- The role of self-punishment in Dis-ease
- Steve Wells series on EFT and Self-Acceptance--Part 1 of 4--(subsequent parts given below)
- EFT improves self esteem
- Rue Hass on "I deeply and completely accept myself"
- EFT As a Conversation With Yourself
- Self acceptance without judgment
- A Complex Case - Doubts and Self-empowerment - The Return of Hair and more
- Julie Howard uses EFT for being hard on herself
- Surrogate EFT for Yourself
- Self Image: An insightful look at the "Writings on our Walls"
- EFT for Self Confidence
- EFT for the lingering effects of a brain tumor from 12 years before
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 4 of 7
- EFT Clients!
- Kinetic tremor disappears as Turkish MD addresses client's emotional issues
- 7 Step pre-tapping checklist for client work
- When the client won't speak about the issue
- Helping clients by using "Meta Programs"
- EFT Successfully Collapses Childhood Beliefs About Food -- Client Stops Overeating
- Enhancing the life of Burak -- a Down Syndrome client
- Using EFT for the client who feels bad about herself
- 8 tips for building your EFT practice with email newsletters
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 5 of 7
- Improving results with dissociated clients
- What Questions Should You Ask When Seeking An EFT Practitioner?
- Thoughts on following your EFT intuition with clients
- EFT from a CLIENT'S POINT OF VIEW
- Hair dresser helps client raise her arm - The salon clients cheered
- How to search for an EFT Practitioner
- The client who is "Never Good Enough" and The Brick Wall Technique
- Doing EFT for the client that is afraid to get started
- How this therapist uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and EFT together
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 6 of 7
- Tips for when clients have difficulty accessing their feelings
- EFT Speeds Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy: Irene Mitchell Update
- How To Tell In Advance Whether An EFT Practitioner Has Sufficient Skill in EFT
- How to use EFT when the client won't reveal the issue
- Dr. Pat Carrington's "EFT At Work In A Hospital" Series
- Client has Somatic Release that involved shaking in a seizure-like fashion
- How to Build Your EFT Practice by Leveraging Your Biggest Resource
- Physical therapy like it should be--dramatic improvements in a rehab center
- When clients get overwhelmed or frustrated with EFT
- When clients can
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 7 of 7
- The Emotional Scale in EFT Practice
- Hearing voices and multiple issues relieved: "One session of EFT does more for me than years of [conventional] therapy ever could."
- Is Your Chosen EFT Practitioner Really Helping You?
- Some thoughts about doing EFT with multilingual clients
- Curtis Steele, MD shares his thoughts and experiences using EFT in a psychiatric practice
- Good reasons for using an EFT Practitioner
- Ingrid Dinter's Box Technique for helping a client wind down when time is running out in a session
- EFT used to calm down a client during a severe seizure episode
- Working through the pain and fear in the midst of divorce
- EFT'er encourages clients to find their favorite EFT points
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola - Part 1 of 7
- EFT with a schizophrenic client
- A detailed EFT oriented session via email for a client with serious issues
- The Pros and Cons of EFT Telephone Therapy
- Did EFT help Gayla's client reduce the blockage in his arteries?
- What stops clients from pursuing their dreams?
- Surrogate EFT used to calm down a bi-polar client
- Why see an EFT practitioner?
- Fitting EFT within the client's belief system
- Limiting beliefs may limit your EFT practice
- Making A Great Impression With Your New EFT Client
- What to do when your client is beset by an "evil monster"
- Using EFT to create positive self beliefs for a client who deems herself "not good enough"
- 4 Part Series on Helping Clients with their 0-10 Accuracy
- Psychosis: Hearing Voices--EFT achieves more in one session than 13 years of medications and traditional therapy.
- Karen Donaldson Highlights Some "Slimming Down" Successes With Her Clients -- Many Side Issues Explored
- Surrogate EFT brings calming effect to Schizophrenic client
- Yet another impressive use of Surrogate EFT--this time an audience sends the client out of the room and taps for her
- The Many Factors Affecting Client Motivation and Follow Through
- If the client starts shaking...
- If your client believes that the world is run by a red elephant....
- How do I use EFT for the client who has many, many, many severe issues?
- Listening to this client's words led to a surprising core issue
- Successful Surrogate EFT for a Cerebral Palsy client
- Profuse bleeding stops even though client was on Coumadin (blood thinner)
- Shaking Off Negative Client Energies Between Sessions
- Adding EFT to conventional talk therapy
- EFT aids an "energy sensitive" client
- Criminal defense attorney uses EFT to help innocent client during cross-examination
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 2 of 7
- EFT and Time Line Therapy helps 92 year old man live in the now
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola Part 3
- Do you attract clients that want everything for free?
- When should you consult an EFT Practitioner?
- The Apex Effect -- client cannot even remember the details of her former problem
- Dr. Patricia Carrington's use of "Choices" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Rebecca Marina's 10 steps to building a prosperous EFT practice
- When The Client Wishes To Maintain Privacy
- An answer as to why some clients do not tap even when they know EFT will help them?
- Two successes where the client surrogate taps for other people--everyone benefits
- Tips to consider when you have had "incomplete success" with an EFT client
- Core Issues
- The "Audio Technique" for getting to core issues
- A clever way to find core issues
- A surprising core issue behind business call reluctance
- Using the Palace of Possibilities to uncover core issues
- Blending Redecision Therapy with EFT--a creative way to uncover core issues
- Iris finds her own core issue
- Eliminating Hot Flashes With EFT Tapping -- Surprising Core Issues
- Tracing core issues back to the birth process
- The "7 Whys" method for getting to core issues
- When "insignificant" childhood events are the real core issues
- Getting To Feelings And Core Issues By Imagining You Are Writing A Story - A Version Of The EFT Tell The Story Technique
- An Impressive Search For EFT Core Issues -- Asking The Right Questions
- A self questioning method for getting to your core issues
- An extraordinary account of tapping on a prenatal core issue -- or how to change a life in moments
- In Search Of An Elusive EFT Core Issue
- Finding An EFT Core Issue -- "But What Did He Give You?"
- Barbara shares an insightful way to find core issues
- An excellent question to help find core issues
- Finding and Dealing with Core Events
- Finding core issues when someone is emotionally flat lining
- The core issue behind Carl's inability to "perform"
- Collapsing the core issues of procrastination with EFT
- A classic case for finding a core issue
- Obsession with having affairs ends after finding the core issue
- Why Cathy didn't enjoy Christmas--an embarrassing core event
- Using Tail Enders to find core issues
- A clever method for finding core issues
- MD resolves arm weakness problem by relieving an emotional core issue
- Two examples where core issues show up during an EFT session
- A Useful Way To Find Core Issues In The EFT Process
- Ilana Weiler uses the 7 Whys method for getting to core issues
- Relative Newbie's First Major Tapping Toe Stub - Foot Pain Issue
- Newbie quiets her daughter
- Doing EFT for a newcomer without having to explain it
- Easy and Effective EFT for Newcomers
- Newbie has great results with persistent hiccoughs!
- EFT Newcomer Helps Her Daughter Relieve Constipation
- Borrowing Benefits newcomer details impressive success
- How watching the EFT DVDs helped a nausea case
- Quality advice for EFT Newbies
- EFT newbie successfully surrogates for her dying plant
- A newbie with 6 rounds of EFT eliminates her bladder infection pain
- Two Newcomer EFT Tapping Successes: Fainting And Shyness
- A newbie dropped pounds at a time she usually gained
- Using EFT
- Using EFT to build emotional strength in overwhelming circumstances
- Using EFT for Menopause, Hot flashes and Chills
- Using EFT for Scleroderma
- Using EFT for preventing illness
- Using EFT for Self-Confidence in a specific area
- Using EFT for overcoming procrastination
- Personal Pleasure Procedure - Using EFT to improve your romantic life
- Using EFT for a double ankle sprain
- Using EFT for Abundance releases limiting beliefs
- Using EFT to rejuvenate a withered plant
- Using EFT for Procrastination
- Marielle discovers a lifetime core issue while using EFT for a bad cough
- Using EFT for the side effects of Medications
- Using EFT for feeling like a failure
- Using EFT for cerebral palsy
- Using EFT for emphysema
- Using EFT to increase blood platelet count--an article with far reaching implications
- Using EFT for old and frail people
- Easy stress reducer using EFT with statements like, "The world is conspiring in my favor"
- 11 year old girl finds lost cell phone using EFT
- Using EFT for our illiterate and semi-literate brothers and sisters
- Using EFT for struggling students with ADD
- Using EFT to Trade the Market
- A successful case of using EFT for candida yeast infections
- Persistence worked when using EFT at the first signs of a cold
- Using EFT to advance your business
- Using EFT for world crises
- Using EFT for clearing poltergeist energy
- After using EFT, Paul's 84 year old mum recovered very quickly from a surgical operation
- Using EFT for a choking emergency
- Using EFT to neutralize "family differences"
- Using EFT to release the pain of saying goodbye
- Using EFT for clearing clutter and organizing your life
- Using EFT for Poison Ivy
- Using EFT over the phone for on-the-spot issues
- Thoughts on using EFT for procrastination
- Using EFT for "Everything is my fault!"
- A guy thing: Tips on using EFT for male ED
- Using EFT for Tachycardia
- Using EFT for Chemotherapy symptoms
- An encouraging example of using EFT for Crohn's Disease
- Using EFT for an ailing pony
- Using EFT for wrinkles - An alternative to Botox?
- Using EFT to overcome the resistance to exercise
- Using EFT while you are in an argument
- Using EFT for Chronic Problems
- Heaviness in both legs disappears after using EFT on "These Growing Pains"
- Some thoughts on using EFT for personal peace
- Using EFT for the Holidays
- Using EFT from pre-birth to the present
- Using EFT to enhance persuasion skills
- Using EFT with our "internal parents"
- Using EFT for spiritual issues
- Using EFT to Create
- Success by using EFT while reading our Newsletter articles
- A subtle, yet powerful self-image benefit from using EFT
- Suggestions for using EFT with a Mother
- Using EFT for Alzheimer's disease
- Many benefits in 3 months using EFT's Personal Peace Procedure
- Using EFT for Muscular Dystrophy
- Some tips when using EFT by yourself
- Using EFT to bring up core memories
- Using EFT for Herpes
- Using EFT on Asperger
- How to Handle Self Sabotage by Using EFT
- Using EFT to manifest your goal more easily
- Using EFT with a Skeptic
- Using EFT for Premature Ejaculation
- Using EFT with computers, web-cameras and microphones
- Using EFT to cut "energetic cords" of attachment to people
- Using EFT for Goal Setting
- Using EFT for motivation to exercise
- Using EFT to avoid tears while chopping onions
- Using EFT to reclaim our personal power
- Using EFT for inanimate objects may point to your own issues
- Using EFT to avert an amputation
- A method for using EFT regarding the "difficult people" in your life.
- Using EFT to relieve a cold sore (Herpes HSV-1)
- Using EFT to learn foreign language pronunciation
- Specific couple techniques using EFT
- Using EFT for Jet Lag--even with 4 time changes
- Using EFT with a Survivor of Domestic Violence
- Using EFT to better enjoy certain foods and expand sensory experience
- Using EFT for forgiveness
- Using EFT with A Course in Miracles teachings
- Using EFT for racial prejudice
- Lifelong car sickness disappears--but only after using EFT on the real issue
- Using EFT to bring us back into balance during challenging situations
- Using EFT for a clogged ear
- Follow up on "Using EFT to avert an amputation"
- Using EFT for Trigeminal Neuralgia
- Using EFT for changing habits and more
- Using EFT in singing lessons
- Using EFT to Enhance Bedroom Romance
- Using EFT to find (and collapse) a limiting belief
- Using EFT for mother issues
- Using EFT for Plantar Fasciitis
- Using EFT for Dreamwork
- Using EFT for Marathon Training and difficult things to do
- Using EFT when a specific word triggers you
- Using EFT to support the In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) process
- Using EFT to regain Laurence's sense of taste.
- Big benefits from using EFT on an "irrelevant memory"
- Tips and strategies for using EFT with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
- Using EFT to reduce our judgment of others
- Using EFT in the Emergency Room: Raging bladder infection subsides
- Q & A Series on using EFT
- Using EFT to start the day
- Passing a driving test using EFT - a case with many aspects
- Using EFT for your Biggest Problem
- Ideas for those using EFT to further their own personal development
- Using EFT on imaginary parts
- Classic case of using EFT for the child within
- Using EFT with massage
- Using EFT within a unique form of meditation
- Using EFT for a stroke and other issues -- In praise of the 9-gamut procedure
- Using EFT to eliminate recurring dreams
- Using EFT for Self-Doubt
- Using EFT to say Good-Bye to a dying person
- Using EFT to release "the decision to be miserable"
- Using EFT for the Inner Child
- Using EFT with a dementia patient: A touching story
- Using EFT over the phone
- Using EFT for bothersome noises
- Using EFT to easily learn another language
- Benefits of using EFT in a cardiac group
- Tapping on TREEs -- a metaphor for using EFT
- Using EFT for the "Grey Life Syndrome"
- Using EFT to resolve issues in your dreams
- The value of taking dead aim at the negatives
- Circumcision at the root of writer's block
- The Salesman who didn't want to cold call
- Try EFT on everything--even an oncoming fainting spell
- EFT helps an 8 year old with a concussion
- Am I a failure at EFT if there is no miracle?
- Surprising insights than can occur while tapping
- Healing families with EFT - a historical approach
- A physicist speaks
- Why couldn't Jason make a simple decision?
- A New Way to Express Gratitude with EFT
- Resolving many impediments to a satisfactory "bedroom experience"
- Sometimes slowing down EFT can provide quality benefits
- MD uses EFT to clear many issues in 15 minutes
- A simple way to handle Shingles -- no drugs involved
- EFT for severe MSG reaction
- Finding the real issues behind what appeared to be a "Bedroom Romance" problem
- Clever use of EFT clears issues for baby, mother and grandmother - follow-up included
- Did Mary
- Calming effects of EFT during an emergency on an airplane
- EFT brings benefits for leaky gut syndrome and ASD (a form of autism)
- EFT clears nausea - but not in the expected way
- Stronger orgasms with EFT
- Persistence and EFT homework help a woman embrace her femininity
- A quality use of our Borrowing Benefits DVDs
- Some thoughts on secondary gains - and what to do about them
- Including the word
- EFT improves hearing by 25%
- Successful EFT without knowing the details
- Psychiatrist gets to the real reason his patient couldn't say "NO"
- An EFT Meditation
- Critical Questioning While Doing EFT
- MD uses EFT to treat Sjogren
- Many successes doing
- Jo Huntsman takes EFT into her own hands and has success with Lupus like symptoms
- A metaphor for introducing EFT
- EFT in a plane for scary facial paralysis - a doctor on board said it was Bell
- EFT enhances the "Artist's Way" work
- Do we need to heal the past so that we can move into the future?
- Are you getting the most out of EFT?
- The benefits of tapping along with our DVDs--core memories uncovered
- Allowing EFT to come THROUGH you rather than BY you
- How to know when the healing is done
- Clearing past issues from the walls of our mind
- The ABC approach to EFT
- Ideas for winding up EFT sessions
- Metaphors, Humour and EFT
- Use EFT when you are afraid to speak up
- Success via tapping on a two-sided conflict
- Validating EFT with Neurofeedback
- Did EFT clear a 90% blocked artery?
- After 9 years suffering with polycystic ovary syndrome, Jenn finds relief with EFT
- EFT for forgetting lines in a school play
- EFT for calming while being strapped down on a hospital gurney
- Acupuncturist uses EFT and eliminates her own shingles in three days
- For those who have difficulty telling left from right
- Marketing EFT as a business--Cultivating important Centers of Influence (COI)
- Learning, intelligence and "emotional static"
- Psychiatric Nurse gives pointers for dealing with severe emotional disorders
- Thoughts on an emergency tapping point
- Borrowing Benefits in the Criminal Justice System
- The "proper words" to use for the EFT Set-up Statement
- Borrowing Benefits hastens the healing of mystery thumb sores
- Breaking habits
- Relaxing a dying man
- We are babes crawling on the floor of the Universe
- Susan de Tarr eliminates her 54 year old motion sickness in 10 minutes
- How to convince an entire audience about EFT
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Emotion and Perception: EFT makes it a two way street
- EFT on an inanimate object: The car that wouldn't start
- Combining EFT with Humor
- EFT helps remove "stuck ring"
- Key Concepts in Mastering EFT
- EFT brings relief for ALS
- How to tell others about EFT
- Some thoughts on when to use "I choose" vs. "I prefer"
- EFT for changing entrenched habits
- Experts point to dramatic changes in brain waves as a result of EFT
- Continuous tapping resolves an intense abreaction
- Did 20 minutes of EFT straighten bones that had knitted improperly 50 years before?
- EFT and the right to be happy
- EFT for feeling unqualified to be successful
- EFT relieves a case of the Hiccups
- EFT for facing those who caused you pain
- Did EFT bring this man out of a coma?
- "It was impossible for the testicle to descend on its own."
- The Merits of Daily Tapping
- Is it safe to change?
- Processing your life's key words with EFT
- Brain dumping with EFT to get started on global issues
- EFT helps salesman double his sales
- An EFT Procrastination case
- From a 38 B to a 38 D/DD while losing 20 pounds
- Thoughts on Psychological Reversal from Rue Hass -- with an ADD example
- Gratitude tapping
- EFT in Kenya
- Are you suppressing your EFT talents?
- EFT as a cure for boredom
- Improving intimate moments with EFT
- Dispersing 50 years worth of suppressed emotion
- A brief heat exhaustion case
- Messages from an oven
- How Dawn Norton used EFT to collapse her own "horror" issue
- Five-for-one benefits from an introductory EFT group
- Making EFT a routine
- Using "Inner Dialogues" with EFT
- EFT relieves an unusual
- How I grew my bustline with EFT
- An 8 year old boy with very strange eating habits finds a new menu with EFT
- Jeff Lipnick uses EFT to keep from blacking out
- EFT, ED and related bedroom issues
- Daily tapping lowers blood sugar
- Borrowing Benefits while watching The EFT Course
- Who do YOU think you are?
- Headache relief over the phone
- Claude improves his fishing
- Using humor with EFT
- How to handle a "vague feeling" with EFT
- Eight Easy Ways to Remember to Do EFT
- Tapping to improve your intuition
- The acute sinusitis case that wouldn't budge until....
- It's never too late to clear useless childhood beliefs
- EFT for the emotional aspects of a Cesarean Section
- Ten steps to changing your limiting responses to a falling economy
- EFT for stammering
- Dr. Barr used EFT after cutting off the tip of his thumb
- Judi thinks that doing EFT for others helped her - winning in Las Vegas
- Borrowing Benefits with EFT improves communication at a committee meeting
- Thoughts about inheriting illness from our ancestors
- Twelve years of facial numbness eliminated with 2 rounds of EFT
- A Lesson in EFT Intuition--Letting it flow through you
- Borrowing Benefits: My Jury has returned with a verdict
- How to Identify and Correct Psychological Reversals
- Dr. Carol Look's Top 10 Tapping Tips
- How do I introduce EFT to skeptics? (Building Bridges to Believability)
- Why do people resist EFT?
- What would happen if this problem wasn't there any more?
- Wisdom from Mair Llewellyn regarding the "Writing on our Walls"
- Incorporating EFT into Corporate Programs
- EFT -- a quality aid for Shingles
- Strong correlation found between EFT and Dr. Emoto's work with water
- EFT and The Power of Reframing
- EFT and insights (cognitive change)
- Giving more meaning to the 0-10 intensity rating
- MD Applies EFT to Successfully Relieve Urethral Pain
- A lesson in "letting go"
- Can we learn to be grateful no matter what?
- Improve your EFT sessions by waking up your senses
- Severe lung congestion clears with persistent daily EFT
- Was prostate cancer really the cause of Sam's Low Libido?
- EFT for the Sensitive Person -- Awakening the Wild Pony Within
- EFT helps release nervousness before an important meeting
- Impressive results with autism
- Releasing chaotic behavior through EFT
- EFT hat dance
- Deserving to live -- an intense memory resolved
- EFT helps with hair loss, facial blemishes, hay fever, smoking and PMS
- Expert gives us an inside look at Group EFT
- Baerbel Borrows Benefits in her own EFT group and dissolves her creative blocks
- When EFT Doesn't Seem to Work
- Motion sickness averted through "Chasing the Pain."
- More on EFT and Reframing by Tania Prince
- Consistent and Impressive results from EFT group work
- Gordon was in a psychiatric hospital for two years and was released two weeks after one EFT session
- How feelings in the body are related to emotional clearing
- EFT for the Inner Child
- EFT for food poisoning
- Two cases of doing EFT in public without looking silly
- Improving romantic openness and enjoyment with EFT
- EFT for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - "You can't make me!"
- EFT brings beauty to a hospice setting
- EFT collapses competing thoughts and thus aids The Law of Attraction
- How to transform disappointment into gratitude
- EFT Question Tapping
- Helping a 97 year old man to die peacefully
- Successful EFT phone work makes major shifts for overwhelmed mother
- Thoughts on resolving difficult physical problems
- A unique way to expand EFT
- EFT removes a pesky "phantom itch"
- Tips for conducting intensive EFT sessions -- a several day case regarding Bulimia
- Create acceptance of your life with EFT
- Clearing a food aversion in 5 minutes
- What would appear to be the main issue may not be so
- How long should the flu last?
- EFT for making your voice stronger
- A new kind of mosquito relief?
- Try fork bending with EFT
- A clever approach to finding core memories
- An adventure within the Palace of Possibilities
- Injured toe gains relief using two important EFT concepts
- Sarah Jordan makes progress after realizing a childhood need
- Aiming EFT at our Future
- What to do when the "Bedroom Spark" goes out
- Tap on experiences that are stuck in parts of your body
- The young woman who kept quitting her jobs
- How to create empowering reframes (seeing things differently) with EFT
- Praise for tapping along with the EFT DVDs
- EFT for a spider (and mosquito) bite
- EFT helps Elaine learn the clarinet at 50
- Two stories to create a bridge between your audience and EFT
- Two cases: Putting on needed pounds with EFT & Holding water for an ultrasound
- Mom doing EFT for autistic son yields enormous changes in one month
- A touching story about Michael, his ailing aunt and EFT
- Letting intuition flow with EFT
- A "Hard to Swallow" case
- Healing the "Missing Mother Syndrome" with EFT
- Borrowing Benefits from Sacramento to the United Kingdom
- Quadriplegic feels "bubbles" during EFT session
- When you are in traffic and REALLY have to pee....
- Many benefits from watching our EFT-Beyond the Basics DVDs
- Technical evidence of the link between emotional causes and physical ailments
- Borrowing Benefits and an Acute Respiratory Disorder
- Attracting Abundance by Shifting Your Energy
- Finding the root of the problem
- Thoughts on dealing with corporations
- MD provides secretary with "The Incredible Shrinking Hemorrhoids"
- Lindsay Kenny answers Frequently Asked Questions about EFT
- About Voice Technology...
- EFT and sex
- More successful cases from Dr. Eric Robins
- Can EFT tele-classes cause problems for some participants?
- EFT approaches for "Loose Ligaments" that can apply to countless other issues
- Asking good questions to elicit tappable issues
- EFT for elderly people who stuff their feelings
- EFT with hypnosis provides long term benefits for abandonment issue
- Have you noticed the important feedback you get while doing EFT?
- Leslie Anne Lackman successfully uses humor and takes aim at neuropeptides
- EFT for disliking someone shifts resentments to acceptance -- a major result
- Combining EFT with Dialoguing for impressive results
- Did Karen
- EFT for those who grind their teeth
- Healing the wounded Inner Child with EFT
- EFT after a horrible nightmare
- 25 Ways to be a Fantastic Therapist
- Knocking down the negative walls to let the garden grow - a tale of fertility
- Using movies to enhance and test our work.
- When Your Intensity Level Goes UP Instead Of Down With EFT
- Combining EFT with Timelines
- 10 minutes of EFT put 10 years of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) to rest
- EFT stops a blood blister from forming
- Taking the edge off intense emotions--Putting them in a box and tapping on them
- Tapping with good photos and bad photos
- Improving the ability to laugh with EFT
- A tapping song
- EFT on autopilot
- EFT resolves limiting childhood beliefs
- Medical transcriptionist says that in thousands of serious medical cases, she never saw a cure for anyone
- A short woman no longer feels intimidated around tall people after one EFT session
- Tapping along with a prayer
- Rapid Relief for Herpes
- Peak Performance Series
- A solid "Doing Business with EFT" idea from Rebecca Marina
- Emphatic EFT dramatically shifts many things--use this on stubborn issues
- EFT for eliminating barriers to our psychic abilities (and intuition)
- Using onomatopoeias with EFT
- Roxy gets multiple "Bedroom O's" with EFT
- EFT for severe cerebral palsy
- Rue Hass blends EFT with the wisdom of
- A woman with scoliosis finds balance with EFT - follow-up included
- EFT and Ho'oponopono
- Blood improves after a few minutes of EFT
- Thoughts on mental tapping and reframing
- Tapping back your sense of taste when you have a cold or flu
- Feeling and observing emotions
- EFT engages inner child to relieve indigestion (dyspepsia).
- Eric no longer hears voices
- EFT assists Polio patient
- EFT for eliminating hiccups changes a skeptic
- EFT eases nausea
- EFT is helpful when you are afraid to speak up in bed
- How racism can lead to health problems and what to do about it
- EFT helps a Premature Ejaculation (PE) problem
- Laura Orchard uses EFT during a dream
- Bedroom frustration resolved - including follow-ups
- Suzanne Lerner gives her thoughts on diagnosis
- Building confidence and releasing the inner critic
- Nothing in my traditional medical training in Anatomy, Physiology or Pathology even hinted at what I am now witnessing (with EFT) - Chuck Gebhardt, MD
- Why do we sometimes avoid tapping?
- Resolving emotional causes for erectile dysfunction
- EFT substantially aids swallowing problem
- Methods for working with pain
- Borrowing Benefits for a seemingly unrelated issue
- Questions on PR as well as possible dangers. (Other responses follow)
- Tuning in to the problem
- EFT in Daily Life
- Cold Calling: "I'm a second-class citizen, and I have to keep my mouth shut!"
- It is your response that counts.
- Improve your success rate by asking the right questions
- Interview with Gary regarding EFT and yeast problems
- I simply could not dance with Gary!!
- This is simply priceless to a mother of a 16 year old
- A Useful Method for "Private Tapping"
- Methods for getting to deep issues, even in a group setting
- Using silent tapping in cases where speaking out loud is too loony
- Taking "The Secret" for a walk with EFT
- Removing the blocks to your goals with EFT
- Manifesting the life of your dreams with EFT
- Can EFT be used to manifest what you want in your life?
- Inner Child Expert uses EFT for her own healing
- Symptoms quickly fade for a child with a Bi-Polar Diagnosis
- The "Gratitude for My Mistakes" method
- Professional writer uses EFT to overcome writer's block
- EFT helps a bullied woman stay at her job
- Talking to Christians About EFT
- Warming up to "cold calls" with EFT
- An interesting way to do EFT in a group
- EFT for discomfort with networking - an interesting solution
- The Value of Matching and Pacing Belief Systems in Group Training
- Do you have difficulty receiving positive feelings from others?
- A Conversation With Your Body
- EFT provides benefits using Future Tapping
- A New Moment in Science -- useful EFT article for distribution
- What the Bleep do We Know about EFT?
- Curse words aid the clearing of emotional issues
- The Human Brain and Law of Attraction: Optimizing Brain Function with EFT
- Try a motivational Power Hour to improve your business
- Let it be easy
- Banishing the Barriers to having a thriving EFT business
- How to handle emotions about the cheating spouse
- Cascade tapping
- EFT turned Masha into a runner - an interesting side effect
- 200 people watch as EFT improves Range of Motion for a Nurse's arm
- Blending NLP with EFT
- More thoughts about stopping colds with EFT
- An MD successfully uses EFT on a Hiatal Hernia and Candidiasis
- Technical article: Influencing peptides with EFT
- Can You Influence Another Person To Use EFT If They Are Reluctant To Do So?
- EFT for faulty beliefs
- EFT and Reframing using Counter-Examples
- What do you do for friends who incessantly bend your ear while venting their problems?
- EFT for people who go blank when asked to speak
- EFT for sciatica and a 6 year old wounded thumb
- EFT helps a young musician stop shaking
- Tapping with a poem as inspiration
- EFT helps a boy who has many health challenges
- Barb St. Dennis had severe Hepatitis C but now has completely normal blood tests
- Using a metaphor to handle stubborn emotional issues
- Treating negative beliefs with EFT
- Who do YOU think you are?
- An EFT method for installing new behaviors
- Two ways to use EFT for Restless Leg Syndrome
- Did EFT cure Lupus?
- Insights on Borrowing Benefits with EFT
- Hearing the energy shift while doing EFT
- A clever combination of tapping and visualization
- Introducing EFT to kids by way of their "magic fingers"
- EFT for Celiac disease -- no symptoms for 4 months and counting
- EFT and "being the bee"
- EFT helps a serious infection - the redness subsides before their eyes
- EFT for the mental game of poker
- Feeling woosy from Alcohol
- Erica gets a complete overhaul through EFT
- A common sense procedure for getting EFT results
- A Useful Series on Borrowiing Benefits
- EFT methods: Questions, One-Point-EFT and Mental EFT
- Tapping via typing--email sessions
- The Vibration of Abundance
- MD uses EFT for common colds and canker sores
- Rhythm, Pulse & Percussion In Tapping Treatments
- A clever "Chasing the Pain" case
- Acupuncturist gives his view of EFT and Classical Chinese Medical Aspects
- Thoughts on EFT and Intention
- EFT methods for "Smokers Lung" that apply to most chronic conditions
- Can EFT fix a computer?
- EFT for an aversion to stuff that disgusts you
- Karen helped her father recover the use of his fingers after a stroke
- EFT for feeling overly responsible
- Tell your friends, there is, at last, a cure for the common cold!
- Positively adjusting the perceptions of others with EFT
- A clever combo of EFT and Essences
- Paralysis finally overcome after everything else failed
- An important case on aspects--Martin's learning challenge
- EFT relieves "incurable" Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)
- How a physician uses EFT
- EFT for Boredom and Loneliness
- Low Libido is not always as simple as it appears
- Facial paralysis clears in one
- EFT for the complexities of a single, dating life
- Dawson Church successfully applies EFT for his episode of gout
- Persistent, quality EFT adds 5 inches to Gillian's bust line
- Taking EFT into the Corporate Market
- Did EFT keep Wayne from getting more grey hair?
- Expanding Your Comfort Zones: The key to your success
- Ten minutes of EFT restores healthy performance in the bedroom - eliminates the need for the little blue pill
- Resolving nightmares...and more
- Aiming EFT at the FUTURE
- A journey through an important piece of our "newthink."
- Addressing the "Why Bother?" syndrome
- Creating a happy future
- How to have a happy day
- An experiment on how EFT statements affect our bodies
- Three possible reframes for people struggling with sadness
- Did Erika
- Tap while listening to music that makes you cry
- EFT helps calm an autistic boy after he accidentally hurt his mother
- Untangling two events with EFT leads to business freedom
- Louise's skeptical dad warmed up to EFT
- Tapping for the United Nations
- EFT helps with repulsed feelings about unwanted advances
- 3 Items and some Holiday advice
- Phobia relief on TV in the UK
- EFT appears favorably in a German TV sitcom
- Gwyneth Moss discusses Support for Therapists
- Collapsing a lifelong belief that her mother had tried to harm her in the womb
- How do you do EFT to fit a time slot?
- Clearing clutter for clarity and confidence
- "God Tapping"
- Loving your feminine body
- Having trouble "letting go" in the bedroom
- Getting EFT Blocks and Barriers out of the way - a list of questions
- EFT fixes car to pass inspection
- Ted Robinson's tips for doing Borrowing Benefits groups
- Visualizing and tapping on limiting beliefs
- Ann Adams on getting EFT accepted by Institutions
- Eliminating shingles pain in 1/2 hour
- Why People Sometimes Have Negative Feelings After Doing EFT
- Tapping while traveling can improve your mood
- EFT calms elderly woman
- For the skeptics--Is EFT a placebo?
- Marie's "molestation secret"
- Persistent EFT helps with unnecessary worry and a feeling of always being responsible -- many side issues collapse as well
- A very useful method for getting to important issues
- A quality look at "The Apex Effect"
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Tap and be rich
- EFT helps relieve blushing
- Quickie pain relief--A "one point wonder".
- Helping mother and her unborn baby with EFT
- Daily EFT creates calm under explosive family circumstances
- EFT assists conception
- Using Role Playing With EFT
- MD uses EFT for a demented woman
- Gayle Waxon learns to stop her own epileptic seizures with EFT
- Does language matter when doing EFT?
- Using the term "somehow..." within the EFT process
- Blending EFT with Homeopathy
- Why does tapping on the side of the hand work?
- EFT for a numb face and tongue - instant relief for a skeptic
- Suzanne Zacharia finds the root causes of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS)
- EFT to help heal fruit trees - a major new business waiting to happen?
- Mental Dental EFT - for the dentist and the patient
- Sneaking Up On The Problem When You Do EFT
- EFT enhances many things
- EFT for bladder control when on the road
- Silent Night Sadness -- when certain music gives you the blues
- Mary Pellicer, MD, on Intuitive Diagnosis
- EFT provides instant relief for Poison Ivy itching
- Quieting down an elderly stroke victim in a nursing home
- Three Keys to EFT Mastery
- Painful mastitis clears after EFT
- How to get non-profit organizations to host EFT group meetings--and pay you as well
- A creative approach to psychological reversal
- EFT as a morning eye-opener
- EFT for night time trips to the bathroom--including follow-up
- EFT for resistance to doing EFT
- "I have to lie constantly to live my life as I know it"
- Further bridges to our history
- Stress and Me and EFT
- Gratitude and Coach Ben Hammerschmidt
- EFT and Nightmares
- A successful use of EFT for Hasimoto
- Five extreme behavior patterns related to organizing and how to address them with EFT
- Your Vibration Always Comes First
- EFT and future pacing
- EFT for people who are sensitive
- EFT for painful cramping
- WHO AM I NOW??? How Identity Issues Block Abundance
- Kelly Meisak uses a unique approach for her ADD prone brother
- This lady had not been out of her house for two years because she suffered from chronic burping
- Reiki Master uses EFT in the Republic of Mauritius
- Creating a remarkable bridge to our former history
- Here's a textbook EFT case for using persistence, reframes, chasing the pain, metaphors and creative language
- Carol Look Shows us How to Release Procrastination with EFT
- Helpful hints for the Holidays.
- EFT and visible changes in physical appearance
- EFT assists young boy in taking his Ringworm medicine
- EFT works for cellulitis on 3 separate occasions
- Connecting to our Birthright of Fertility
- How to tap into the
- Tapping for being "able, willing and worthy" may help boost EFT results
- Creating positive affirmations with EFT and your senses
- EFT for painful menopause symptoms
- An interesting EFT approach for getting beyond "glass ceilings"
- EFT using teddy bears
- Victoria's 10-day EFT blood pressure experiment results
- EFT and The Law of Attraction - A Perfect Match
- Tapping with tunes
- Do you have emotional difficulty with the standard EFT phrasing?
- Jewels in the junkyard--the prison population
- EFT improves a mentally disabled young man
- Can You Do EFT With Eyes Closed?
- Not finding the right words for EFT is a block that can be overcome
- High blood pressure recedes - and remains normal a week later
- Deborah Miller beautifully reframes an assault issue into a new personal identity
- The many benefits of EFT circles--and how to do them
- Relief for Bashful Bladder
- When Positive is Negative - Accepting Your Light
- Tapping through a beginning seizure
- Teresa Knezek treats her own Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- including a 3 year followup
- Raising your metabolism with EFT
- When EFT gives only temporary results
- Katie's posture and her many emotional issues
- When conflicting beliefs keep us stuck
- Rehana Webster teaches the details behind a successful blushing case
- Resentment gets in the way of abundance
- Changing a man's life with EFT--including pain, emotions and bedroom romance
- EFT in the snow -- creating comfort in the cold
- Stopping the flu in its early stages
- "How do I get really good at EFT?"
- Shingle symptoms gone in just two EFT sessions
- Two examples where working on one issue provides relief for another
- Important EFT topic: Doing the best we can
- Useful thoughts on integrating EFT within the military
- Eckhart Tolle
- Daily uses of EFT with A Course in Miracles (ACIM)
- EFT for helping a mother bond with her child
- How EFT unclogged my toilet
- The Inner Committee
- Can we affect inanimate objects better with EFT? - Rebecca's engine light
- A humorous reply to an EFT skeptic
- EFT enhances math scores
- Praise for EFT from a Buddhist Monk
- EFT calms an autistic boy in school
- Cognitive Shifts (Belief Changes) That Work
- EFT: The Gift to Unwrap and Use before the Holidays!
- Another successful hiccoughs (hiccups) case
- Did EFT help relieve menopause symptoms?
- EFT for addressing what happened in your day -- use it daily for solid long term benefits
- EFT for economic stress -- using "I prefer peace"
- A Psychologist in India uses EFT for suicide intervention
- Demonstrating EFT to a mental health support team
- How to remember your dreams with EFT
- New Uses for EFT
- EFT helps alleviate several issues associated with infidelity
- Using Galvanic Skin Response to validate EFT
- NLP procedures enhance anyone's delivery of EFT
- "Helpless to get what I want" - Using intuition to get at important issues
- MD writes article on Emotions, Energy, and Healing
- Tapping on "what didn
- An aneurism left a man's hand shaking, unable to write for 12 years.
- How to use EFT with your dreams to collapse important emotional issues
- Resolving two bothersome tics with EFT
- Saying "goodbye" with the
- An at risk coronary patient has normal arteries and flawless angiogram after persistent EFT for two months
- Tapping while responding to a nasty comment from the past
- EFT for looking forward instead of backwards
- How Do You Know You Are Benefiting From EFT Much As You Can?
- EFT and the taming of the tongue
- Gwyneth Moss on The Importance of Rehearsal in an EFT session
- How do you feel ABOUT your body having pain?
- Was this a negative reaction to EFT?
- Many benefits from tapping on a prayer
- Future tapping to get what you want
- How to get EFT into Schools
- EFT collapses seasickness and Rosa becomes the life of the party
- What is your body trying to tell you?
- An extraordinary example of the real power of EFT's Borrowing Benefits procedure -- a bridge phobia disappears "behind the scenes"
- EFT for past life issues
- EFT for Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and a host of other issues
- Prenatal EFT improves hemoglobin count with before and after test
- Getting to the real reason behind Janet's "bedroom inhibitions"
- Tapping on gratitude for EFT
- After EFT, Kay
- A procedure for dealing with the resistance to heal
- To Lead or Not to Lead...
- Looking waaay in the past for the cause of a physical symptom
- Overcoming a lifelong fruit revulsion and some side benefits
- One person
- EFT is effective despite language barriers
- EFT's Borrowing Benefits collapses 36 issues in 2.5 hours
- Problems that are difficult to assess in the here and now. (Several responses follow)
- A tapping tip to lighten the load
- Borrowing Benefits gets impressive results on TV
- Re-evaluating the Apex problem
- Handling vertigo symptoms over the phone
- Food stuck in the throat goes down easily after EFT
- In Praise of Continual Tapping
- Scientific evolution of EFT from TFT
- Does EFT compete with God?
- How to Get Into Businesses and Organizations By Getting Welcomed Through the Back Door
- EFT on the move -- for busy people
- EFT for Speech Loss following a Stroke
- Discovering the cause of humming in the ears
- Being Specific
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Articles & Ideas
Do you have difficulty receiving positive feelings from others?
Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. Best wishes, Gary
A thank you to Stefan Gonick for giving us this detailed look at how to handle a very common problem.
Most of us, in some area of our lives, experience difficulty in receiving positive emotions or energy from other people. A seemingly simple example of this is when someone gives us a compliment and we get uncomfortable and dismiss the compliment in some way. We may verbally object to the compliment, minimize it, or mechanically say "thank you" without really taking in and feeling the compliment. Either way, we have not received the positive energy from the other person. Sadly, this kind of thing happens in many ways in our lives.
A more dramatic example comes from my weekly therapy group. We sometimes close the group with an "appreciation circle.” We take turns hearing things that the other group members appreciate about us. The goal is simply to receive and take in the positive energy. Most group members experience some difficulty in really taking in the appreciative statements from the other members. Some group members even say that they experience so much discomfort that they "hate" the appreciation circle! On the surface, this seems so illogical. What could possibly be bad or painful about hearing things that people like or appreciate about us? One would think that hearing appreciations would just be a good thing, giving us pleasure. However, that is clearly not everyone's experience. Some people have even had the confusing experience of breaking down crying when someone says something nice to them. Why would hearing something nice cause us to cry?
Finally, the most dramatic example is that many people find that they have a hard time fully taking in the love that they receive from their friends and loved ones. There seems to be some kind of wall or barrier to receiving the love.
There are a number of negative outcomes from not being able to take in positive energy from other people. First of all, we are missing the pleasure and nourishment that we could be receiving from the other person. Receiving and taking in positive feelings (energy) from others feels great and literally feeds us and recharges our batteries. Also, the other person is missing out on the pleasure of being received. It is very satisfying when a person wholeheartedly receives something that we give. There is a sense of completion and wholeness and connectedness. The receiver gives back in the receiving. On the other hand, there is a feeling of disappointment and sadness when our "gift" is not received. We can even feel rejected in that case. The ultimate outcome of not receiving and taking in positive energy from others is a feeling of disconnection, distance and isolation in our relationships. This is particularly poignant when the positive emotion that we are having a hard time receiving is the other person's love.
So, what causes this difficultly in receiving positive emotions and energy from other people and how can we heal it? There can be a number of possible sources, but we will focus on a few of the more common ones based on the previous examples. Ultimately, all sources of the difficulty in taking in positive feelings from others have at their root the avoidance of some form of underlying pain.
Negative Self Beliefs
Most of us have some negative beliefs about ourselves based on childhood experiences. The negative self-belief can be fairly narrow and specific, such as "I am stupid," or more global, such as "I am unworthy or bad.” When the outside world presents us with a positive message or experience that is in direct contradiction to one of our negative self-beliefs (e.g. a compliment or appreciation or expression of love), we face an internal dilemma. We cannot take in something that does not match what we believe about ourselves. Therefore, we will either retain the negative self-belief and discard the positive message or we will have to shift the negative self-belief in order to take in the positive message. As you can imagine, the second option is not easy, so we usually end up discarding the positive message or not taking it in fully.
Without EFT, shifting a negative self-belief is usually very hard. The belief has been entrenched within us since childhood due to receiving the negative message about ourselves many times growing up. We may have received that message explicitly (e.g., "You're stupid!") or implicitly through the way that we were treated. Fundamentally, those negative messages represent an unloving betrayal by our caregivers, and there is a lot of stored up pain associated with them.
In fact, the stored up pain associated with the negative messages helps explain the confusing phenomenon of sometimes crying when we hear something good about ourselves. There are times, when we feel sufficiently safe and trusting, where the positive feeling is able to get through despite our negative self-belief. When this happens, it opens our hearts, and the stored up pain associated with the experiences leading to the negative self-belief starts to come up and get released through crying.
There is a form of peer counseling, called Reevaluation Co-counseling, that makes use of this phenomenon as its main healing technique. It works by uncovering the negative self-belief and then having the client say or do something that strongly, positively contradicts the self-belief. This leads to a release of the stored up pain through crying or expressing anger, fear, shame, and so on. The expectation is that if the client lets out these feelings long enough, all of the stored up pain will drain out and the negative self-belief will shift and be healed.
If a person doesn't understand all of this, then receiving positive messages can sometimes be uncomfortable and scary. The person can feel the crying coming and the underlying pain rising and may want no part of that. She or he does not realize that this is actually a healing process and will instead try to block it out. If you are with a friend who starts to cry when you say something good to him or her, just reassure the person that this is a good thing and encourage her/him to keep crying. This goes for yourself as well.
Fortunately, EFT can be used very effectively to heal negative self-beliefs so that one can more easily take in positive energy from others. You can apply EFT in a number of different ways in this situation. The simplest and most straightforward way to apply EFT is to tap on the negative self-belief directly.
For instance, if the negative self-belief is "I am stupid," you would start be assessing on a 0 to 10 scale how true that statement "feels" in your gut, where 0 is completely false and 10 is completely true. Presumably, this would be a high number. Next, you would use as your set-up: "Even though I am stupid, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself."
You would then tap on "I am stupid" at each point. Gradually, the negative self-belief may feel less true. In that case, keep tapping until the feeling of the truth of the statement goes down to a 0.
If tapping directly on the negative self-belief isn't sufficient in itself to clear it, you will need to tap on the original painful memories of receiving the message that you were stupid. Once you have cleared those, you can finish up by tapping on the belief itself (or you may already be done at that point).
One of the potential challenges in shifting the belief by clearing the original memories is that the person may be very emotionally shut down and defended against feeling the feelings associated with those memories. This can happen when we have a painful experience repeated many times, and we cope by blocking out the feelings for our survival. It's intolerable to keep feeling the same pain over a long period of time. Unfortunately, this can make it hard to tune into the energy disturbance to clear the underlying pain through tapping.
In this situation an interesting method is to combine the Re-evaluation Co-counseling technique of positive contradiction with EFT to bring out the underlying pain. For instance, if the person has some kind of "I am bad" self-belief, one can positively contradict the negative self-belief by having the person say things that s/he likes about her/himself. For example: "I really like that I am a caring person."
The key here is to not just say the words but to say them with a joyful facial expression and tone of voice. The facial expression and tone of voice is more effective than the words for getting past our defense and through to our hearts. However, using a joyful facial expression and tone of voice can be challenging in this situation, so it can take several repetitions with repeated encouragements to say it ever more joyfully before the positive contradiction breaks through the emotional shutdown and the underlying painful feelings start to be released. Once this happens, you can go right into tapping with or without saying any words. You can then just go with the flow of whatever comes up, including specific feelings and memories. It's easier to use this method with another person providing the caring support and encouragement, but it can also be done alone. You just have to keep reminding yourself to say the positive statement more and more joyfully each time until it works.
The positive contradiction method can be extremely helpful for getting at and healing the old pain associated with the negative self-beliefs. Once the negative self-beliefs are cleared, the positive energy can be received without facing an internal contradiction.
The Lack of Positive Experiences Growing Up
Another situation that can make it difficult to receive positive feelings from others is when we didn't receive those kinds of positive feelings growing up. For instance, a person may not have experienced much, if any, praise or encouragement or love as a child. There would be, in that case, a well of pain around not receiving those things. If someone were to offer us praise or encouragement or love now, in order to take in the positive energy, our heart would have to open, which would get us in touch with that wellspring of pain. Again, we may find ourselves crying when offered praise, encouragement or love now. Like before, this can feel very uncomfortable, and we may block out the positive experience instead of feeling the old pain.
This can be worked with using EFT in a number of different ways. One method would be to tap on memories where the positive experience was painfully missing. These would be times, in the above example, where praise or encouragement or love was wanted but not received. If there are clear memories like that, this can be a fairly straightforward healing experience with tapping. You would just tap on those painful memories to clear them. It might then be helpful to use the Choices Method to give oneself the praise or encouragement or love that was originally wanted. For instance:
"Even though Mom/Dad didn't praise me when I got good grades, I choose to take delight in my accomplishments now."
(If you are not familiar with the Choices Method, search for that phrase on the national EFT web site to learn about this useful technique.)
The healing process becomes trickier when there are no clear memories of the painful lack of some positive emotion. Rather, the positive emotion was never there to even want. There was just the life-long lack. Since there are no specific memories to deal with, it can be harder to figure out what to tap on. You might try tapping on "even though I never received love," for instance, but I have not found that to work too quickly. It's worth trying (maybe combined with the Choices Method), but that approach tends to be slow going.
Instead, the positive contradiction method can again be used to get at the underlying wellspring of pain, which can then be tapped on directly. If praise was missing, then either give the person enthusiastic praise or have the person give themselves the praise. The second option usually works better. It's important to keep repeating the praise ever more joyfully until the breakthrough happens and the feelings open up. You can then tap on the upsurge of feelings. This may also lead to tappable buried painful memories. Again, I would recommend using the Choices Method to help fill in what was missing growing up. Once this pain from not receiving the positive energy is sufficiently cleared, it will become much easier to receive it from others as well as oneself.
Fear of Being Vulnerable
Let's discuss the most poignant example of not being able to take in love from another person. There are a couple of potential causes for this problem. One cause is a feeling of unworthiness of being loved or feeling unlovable. This actually falls in the negative self-belief category that we discussed before and can be treated accordingly.
Another very common cause for the difficulty in taking in love is a fear of being vulnerable. We learned about love relationships from our original primary relationship with our parents. If there was a significant amount of pain and/or insecurity in those relationships, it may feel dangerous to let someone close to us now. We may feel afraid of re-experiencing the same pain we had growing up. This might have included being abandoned, engulfed, or abused or some other type of painful interaction with our parent(s).
In order to take in someone's love, we have to open our hearts to that person, which gets us more in touch with our vulnerability and the possibility of being hurt again. Subconsciously, we feel safer keeping the other person at a distance. Unfortunately, the end result is not being able to fully receive the other person's love.
The solution here is to use EFT to address the original painful memories of feeling abandoned or engulfed or other types of painful interactions. In addition, we can use the method of trying to take in someone's love and tapping on the specific fears that come up. Once these painful early experiences and current fearful discomforts have been cleared, it will be much easier to fully take in love.
There are many possible causes for the difficulty in receiving positive feelings from others, and we have discussed some of the most common ones here. One of the common themes in all of these examples is that the presence of underlying pain makes it hard to receive the positive emotional energy because opening to receive the energy would bring out the pain. However, this same phenomenon can be used to facilitate the healing process. The very act of trying to take in positive feelings will bring out the old pain that needs healing. If the person really stretches to take in the positive feelings from another person or from him/herself, the pain will come to the surface and can be dealt with through tapping. Once this is done, the positive energy can be received without hindrance.
Alternatively, if original memories can be found that are the source of the pain, then they are the best things to tap on. Used in combination, very deep and thorough healing can be achieved.
Not being able to take in positive feelings from others is an unfortunate limitation, sadly applicable to most people to a greater or lesser extent. The blocks to receiving positive energy are, however, readily healable using EFT, leading to a richer, more nourishing and connected life.
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