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Silent Night Sadness -- when certain music gives you the blues

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Hi Everyone,

Jayne Morgan-Kidd makes quality use of EFT to release her client from tears whenever she heard Silent Night.  This article has a broad use for almost any trigger that sends us in negative directions.  Note how Jayne continually tests her progress.  Very important.

Hugs, Gary


By Jayne Morgan-Kidd

Kendra came to me to work on weight issues. In an early session as we explored the different themes which might be connected to her use of food to soothe her anxieties, she began talking about a very upsetting time when her older sister ran away from home. Kendra's parents were trying to prevent Kendra's sister from being involved with a boy they disapproved of. No one in the family knew where her sister was or indeed, if she was for several months.

This began in October when my client was 15 years old and continued until sometime in January. So it was a very sad Christmas for Kendra and her family that year. Kendra told me that since that time (which was 35 years ago), she cannot listen to Silent Night without getting teary. In fact, she was teary just saying 'silent night'. So we began tapping on 'silent night'.

Even though I can't even say the words 'silent night'...

Even though we didn't have any silent nights for a long time...

After these rounds, she was calmer. I happened to have Silent Night on a CD in the office so I used it to test our work. As I began playing it, she again became teary although not quite as intense as before. I asked her to tell me about that experience and to tap with me as the music continued to play. She cried as she talked about how sad and lost she felt not knowing if her sister was dead or alive.

After a few minutes of tapping and talking as the music played, she was considerably calmer. Then she began to recall and react with sadness to her memories of watching her mother's reactions to her missing child (another aspect). We tapped for Kendra's sadness about her mother. (music still playing)

Even though I feel sad remembering Mom's hands shake...

Even though I felt sad because I couldn't make her feel better...

This emotion resolved to zero and shifted into anger toward her sister for putting everyone through it (another aspect). I stopped the music and we continued tapping, this time for anger.

Even though I have this anger at (sister)...

Even though I've been holding onto this anger for decades...

The anger dissolved. Then she told me that during the time her sister was missing and throughout her remaining teen years, the parents were 'easier' on Kendra than they had been on her sister and also easier on her than they had been before her sister ran away. Two ideas occurred to me: (1) fear that her parents didn't care or (2) guilt that she had profited by her sister's pain. I asked her about both. She said she felt quite secure in her parent's love for her; but although she had never thought of it before, she did feel guilty (yet another aspect).

Even though my life got easier because my sister ran away...

Even though things got better for me because my sister suffered...

When this emotion resolved to zero we searched for other feelings related to this experience and finding none, decided to test our work. I played Silent Night again as Kendra listened, responding normally for the first time in over 3 decades. She was amazed.

At Kendra's next session, she laughed as she told me that this year she was singing Silent Night as she put away her Christmas decorations. As she put it, "I was daring myself to get upset and burst into tears but it didn't happen!! It's like I never felt that way." And the guilt - also gone. This past week Kendra also reported that she has been doing much better in regard to choosing better foods, doing some exercising and no binging!!

One more thought... Many people use music to get in touch with their emotions. They know instinctively that a particular song or a piece of music brings out and helps them express feelings they want to release. By adding EFT to this process, you or your client may be able to release an unresolved emotional disturbance too.

Practitioners may want to ask their clients about music that brings up strong feelings and use EFT to break that connection.

Best wishes,

Jayne Morgan-Kidd

 

 

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