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Using the term "somehow..." within the EFT process

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Some clients are so loaded with negativity about themselves that they can't say the "deeply and completely accept myself" part of the EFT process. For these folks, try using Ryan Harrison's suggestion of integrating the term "somehow" within the wording. This is a very useful idea and one that merits your study.


By Ryan Harrison MA, HHP, NC, EFT-ADV

I have had to really roll up my sleeves and practically muscle my way through several sessions with people who had nearly immovable issues. Inevitably, the big sticker was that the client didn't believe, didn't want to believe, or couldn't believe something positive.

For example: A client going through a divorce, who had issue after issue popping up while tapping, couldn't get to a place of knowing whether she could accept herself (let alone "deeply," "completely," or any other way). Building setup phrases with her was hard work, because she could never find one that "felt right."

With utmost care, I have had to poke, prod, and guide such clients toward getting to that place. Yes, I've even tried the setup phrases with language such as "I'm open to..." and "some small part of me would really like to...," etc. I've even suggested -- to be completely honest here -- that clients "just say it and see what happens" while we tap. Usually, it's a no-win situation. I have literally spent hours working through this with people who cannot (or will not) let themselves even imagine being in a better place.

Then, while working with such a "stuck" client, I had a flash of inspiration and I blurted out "somehow." I cannot tell you the huge difference that made! Now, I use this every time I feel resistance from a client toward anything positive that they want-but-don't-want (such as happiness, peace, joy, love, self-acceptance, etc.).

For example: The same divorce-experiencing client mentioned above found it very easy to say "Even though I cannot imagine being happy again, somehow, I want to feel peace inside." or "Even though I feel betrayed and angry, I want to love and accept myself, somehow."

That one word is so powerful and effective, I think, because it allows an opening without demanding anything of the client. It doesn't place them in the oft-conflicted predicament of saying "I love and accept myself" when they really don't. Rather, it allows them the possibility of it without needing to know how it's going to happen. It takes their share of the responsibility nicely out of the emotional equation. I imagine that it feels subconsciously like saying "somehow, it could happen, but I don't know how, and right now I don't need to know."

Gary, this technique has helped me move emotional mountains. Previously "stuck" clients who have experienced physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse are suddenly very able to move through the memories and disarm them thanks to this one word: "Somehow."

Just today, as a matter of fact, I was working with a client who was disarming a memory of her father's rage and how much it frightened her. Her deep religious conviction was that she should be forgiving him, and while I told her that would likely come after we had tapped on it sufficiently, her mind was set on it. The problem, of course, was that part of her wasn't ready to forgive. Well, I used the magic word "somehow" like this:

"Even though I was so scared by my father's rage, I want to forgive him somehow."

This eventually led to her opening up to processing the rest of her feelings:

"...somehow, I want to feel peace again," and "I want to feel really good about myself, somehow."

By the time my client left, she was physically exhausted (a sign of some serious energy movement) and was feeling such gratitude, because no matter how many times I had her tell me the story (or replay the movie), it just left her either rolling her eyes or giggling at her father's immaturity.

As any EFT practitioner would tell you, that's such a joy to behold.

Warm regards,

Ryan Harrison

 

 

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