Behavior

Unsociable behavior in a 14 year old boy

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by Carole

Hello Gary,

I am working with a 14 year old boy who has been excluded from school for unsociable behaviour which culminated in a violent incident when he "threw" another boy across the room. (He is a large lad).

He is very self conscious and I have had difficulty in extracting emotional states from him. My guess is that they are too large for him to handle and he is frightened of losing control. Instead he shrugs his shoulders, says he doesn't know, or does not have any feelings. Any suggestions how to proceed?

He thought tapping was stupid and complained of feeling a) very sore - the sore spot (I didn't call it that - just said it was a special spot) and b) ticklish - under the arm. comment- "Get off me, giggling with laughter - it tickles!"

I have tapped on his anger, his irritation with others and peer group pressure (his words - "my mates make me behave like this") He has many limiting beliefs about himself but will not articulate these either. I will see him again in about a month - and will be interested to see the effect the initial rounds of tapping have had. (I am sure they will be some effect!!)

Best wishes,

Carole


GC COMMENT: This may be too, too obvious here but it seems like a major problem here involves gaining rapport. If you can get rapport/trust with him then EFT is likely to do its job. I don't know how to advise on the rapport issue since it is such an individualized thing. Somehow, though, he must consider you a friend so that the true issues can come out.

Since he apparently will do the tapping with you (at least to some degree) here are some tapping possibilities....

1. Have him tap for your guesses (intuition) about the problem and see what happens. Try it globally if that is all you can get him to do.

"Even though I have this big fear/guilt I don't want to tell anyone about.....""Even though I wish things were different for me....""Even though I'm not popular yet....""Even though I'm really angry at someone that I don't even want to mention....

Chances are, these will loosen things up a bit and you can get to more specific issues.

2. You might also tap for any physical discomforts he may have. This often makes a believer out of people.

3. You might also tap for something he wants other than a behavior change. Try EFT'ing his comfort around talking to girls, better sports performance, ability to concentrate on his studies, etc. Successes in these areas can help with rapport, too. They might also lead you to his behavior issues.

Hope these help, Gary

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