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Physical problems and persistence

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

I received this inquiry from a list Member about a lady with Multiple Sclerosis. Since it helps me emphasize the value of persistence, I thought I would share it (and my response) with you. I have altered the inquiry to disguise the client's identity. Here it is....

A woman, in her late 50's, with Multiple Sclerosis, which was diagnosed nearly 10 years ago. She has tried just about every possible therapy since then but has got steadily worse and is now pretty well bedridden. She is hypoglycemic and is on a low carb diet to keep her blood sugar levels under control. To begin with this worked very well and she got a lot stronger, and was able to sit up for much of the day and even managed to stand (with a zimmer). However, this did not last and she is now pretty well back to lying down most of the time and sometimes even being spoonfed her meals. She has a girl come in three times a day to cook, clean, and look after her.

So, why does she not heal? Her parents were ________ and, as children, were survivors of a massacre. They emigrated to ______, which is where she was born. She was left to cry when a baby, and lacked care and nurturing. When her mother became pregnant with her sister, she was fostered out. Her mother used to treat her as a confidante (from the age of about 4), describing the agony the child caused being born and her problems with her husband. She is very caught up in her culture's history. Her parents thought that saying anything nice to a child makes that child objectionable, so they only said derogatory and unkind things to her, telling her she was ugly, stupid, useless, and so on. She became a "star" and had to excel at everything in order to show that she wasn't what they told her. She is a __________, and is determined that people have to do things the right way (read "her" way) - or else!

She has very bad feelings about herself, having taken on board (despite appearances) what her parents told her about herself. She is still wanting the nurturing she did not get as a baby (she really enjoys being spoonfed) and, when she did not get very good care last year because she was not really that helpless, she became much more helpless. Consciously she wants to get better (but doubts it's possible) but, apart from the other points mentioned, she also fears that she would be alone because all the people who telephone and call now only do it because she is ill and if she was well they would disappear (those are her words), because she is pretty objectionable (although she doesn't scream and shout nearly so much since being on the low carb diet) and no-one would be able to stand her if they weren't feeling sorry for her. I have the feeling also that she is still showing her parents, in a twisted sort of way, that she can do something better than most people. She has said that people can heal from cancer, that's easy, but no-one can heal from MS.

She knows how to do the tapping, but the problem is: what affirmation should she be using? What is it that is keeping her sick, or is it a mixture of several things and, in that case, where does she start?

I'm sorry this is so long, but I would be grateful for any help you feel able to give.

GC COMMENT: Your first question was, "So, why does she not heal?" I don't presume to have THE answer here but, from reading your descriptions, I have to ask the question, "What does she need to heal from?" Is it from the MS? Or is it from the emotional abuses, secondary gains/losses etc. that, in my experience, contribute to (if not cause) the MS?

I am very aware of the many possible medical reasons for MS or, for that matter, any other physical ailment. Most of us breathe polluted air, drink questionable water and eat foods loaded with pesticides and preservatives. It is no wonder that our bodies cave in under this onslaught. In your friend's case, however, the emotional load she carries is likely to drag heavily on her immune system. Healthy immune systems can withstand a lot. Unhealthy ones lead to serious disease.

With the understanding that I'm not a physician and don't know the first thing about medicine, let me suggest what I would do if this lady and I were working together.

First, I would assume that the primary cause of her MS is her emotional burden. I could be wrong, of course, but that's where I would come from. Next, I would play detective and dig up as many past emotionally charged events (specific ones, not general ones) as I could find and would address each of them with EFT. Along the way she is likely to lead me into deeper waters as she begins to recall even more memories. Where necessary, I would reframe issues that needed reframing (this is often easy to do after EFT because amenable cognitive shifts happen during the process). Above all, however, I would persist. Let her have her negativity. At least at first. Don't fight it. Just use it as evidence that you have more to go. Eventually, I would expect her to "lighten up" and would expect her physical symptoms to begin subsiding.

Persistence, persistence, persistence. I pounded on that point over and over again in the EFT Course. It is of inestimable value. Not all of our cases are "one minute wonders." We get so used to rapid relief that we are inclined to give up too soon. This is particularly so with the so called "intractable diseases." In my view, these diseases are the manifestations of many interrelated emotional issues. Go for the causes, not the symptoms.

Let me give you a recent example. Today I finished my 17th session with a client that I have never met. Everything has been done over the phone. David (his real name--he let me record all the sessions for future educational tapes) called me two months ago with many physical problems. His body was weak, his temperature changed in cycles, he had persistent diarrhea and numerous stomach and intestinal difficulties. He also came from a very dysfunctional family where he was physically and emotionally abused and consistently rejected.

Interestingly enough, David had previously worked with one of the better known TFT practitioners and was quite pleased with the emotional headway he had made. However, they reached an impasse where the TFT'er could do no more. David was left with some much appreciated emotional relief but still had all his physical problems. I have high regard for the effectiveness of TFT so this story is not about TFT's effectiveness. Rather, it is about persistence. The TFT'er gave up.

I dug and dug into David's past and kept finding more and more emotional issues--some of them quite intense. One by one, their intensity subsided. Then his temperature problem subsided. Next came some relief for his headaches, intestinal problems and a long list of other ailments. It wasn't easy. I often spent 10 minutes of detective work for every 1 minute of tapping. He felt emotionally freer and physically better. We have more to go because there is a LOT to do. Today he was quite excited because he just got over the flu in 9 days instead of his usual 3 weeks. Further, the flu had only a fraction of its usual intensity. Also, he still has some more emotional issues to address but he is having a hard time finding anything over a 3 or 4 in intensity. Progress.

In short we went way beyond a very proficient TFT'er simply because of persistence. We can do marvels with EFT. Even more than we think. When we enter the palace of persistence with our clients, we are giving them (and ourselves) an enormous gift--the gift of healing. Soon, David will be ready for the Palace of Possibilities as he is now coming out of the emotional dungeon.

I asked David what he thought the difference was between TFT and EFT. He said he thought I was a persistent "pit bull" that would sink his teeth into something and just wouldn't give up. I take that as a compliment.

Hugs, Gary


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