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Articles & Ideas


Using EFT to create positive self beliefs for a client who deems herself "not good enough"

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Mayan Schraders from New Zealand brings to our attention pointers to help those with low self esteem. She says, "As we started working on Jane's core issues she had no concept of there being a possibility of feeling differently, let alone any idea of what that could feel like."

Hugs, Gary

By Mayan Schraders

Recently I worked with a woman on her issues of very low self esteem. I noticed that this client was emotionally under-resourced. As I am always looking for better ways to help my client, we first cleared the unhelpful core beliefs and then created some powerful new beliefs.

Here is her story: Jane (not her real name) grew up on a farm where she was fairly isolated from her peers until she started school. By all accounts she was a happy pre-schooler, despite experiencing some physical challenges. She was totally unprepared for the bullying from her classmates, and the rejection by the teacher she experienced when she first started school.

Prior to this she had very little social experience and had no idea how to cope with these situations. Her basic philosophy about life was: expect the worst and then you won't be disappointed. If you consider the Law of Attraction (that which we focus on increases), you can imagine the types of experiences Jane kept having. As we started working on Jane's core issues she had no concept of there being a possibility of feeling differently, let alone any idea of what that could feel like.

We tapped to clear the "not good enough" core beliefs and the "I don't fit in" core beliefs by using specific experiences. For instance:   I'm not as fast as the other children … I can't think fast when I'm put on the spot … The other children laugh at me when I give the wrong answer.

GC COMMENT: You may be able to collapse these beliefs even more deeply addressing the specific events that underlie them.

After we randomly tapped a whole range of aspects, Jane was feeling clear of those unhelpful core beliefs, yet she still felt unsettled and somewhat incomplete. It wasn't until we started using some positive feeling phrases that things really started to gel for her. We tapped for:  Others don't accept me (a summing up of the old core belief) … I truly accept who I am.

We would do a round on the negative: Others don't accept me. And follow this by positive phrases, such as: I appreciate being different … I am proud of the way I managed so far … It's safe now to be me … I love feeling calm and confident …  What people think of me is their business … I appreciate who I am no matter what … I love feeling good about being me … I like me just the way I am.

Not having had access to these positive feeling states naturally, Jane may well have created an old familiar scenario to match that old "comfortable" and habitual feeling again. However, now, having tapped in these positive beliefs she will have a very different response. Anchor phrases such as: "I like me just the way I am" will be available to her as a resource, together with the associated nurturing feelings we have tapped in. When we tap in anything at all that creates a good feeling inside us, we start building a storehouse of positive feeling states and create more positive receptors, so we can feel good more often.

Mayan Schraders


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.