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Articles & Ideas

General

Persistent EFT helps with unnecessary worry and a feeling of always being responsible -- many side issues collapse as well

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Jo Hainsworth from New Zealand took some cues from one of Silvia Hartmann's articles on our website and addressed some of her long held "writing on her walls" (beliefs). Along the way many new issues appeared. This is a quality example of how persistent EFT can clear many "side issues" during the process.

Hugs, Gary


By Jo Hainsworth

I have been experimenting with some ideas that Silvia Hartmann wrote about in an article in the EFT Newsletter and have found this to be very effective.  Silvia talks about the idea of proxy tapping for our past selves, and healing across the different time periods of our early life.

A really powerful use for this is working with really key writing on our walls (key messages we took on board that dictate how we behave now).  I recently had something happen that caused me to worry intensely about something, and when I felt the worry as tightness in my chest I realised that I really needed to sit down and do something about it.  I've been trying to break my worry pattern for years and while it has improved a lot, the tightness was letting me know I had some way to go!

I started by pulling out a copy of Silvia's article, and thinking about events that could have resulted in writing on my walls to do with worry in the different time periods she suggests (pre-birth, birth, first 6 months, 6 months to 2 years, 2 to 6 years), and came up with the following list (note that the items on the list are of course based on my own perception as I grew up, and may bear little resemblance to reality in some cases.  When we are working with healing, it's our perceptions that matter, not what was in actual fact the case):

  • My mother was worried that some medication she took while pregnant with me would affect me.
  • My mother was quite isolated during the pregnancy and my early years, and had a lot of worries.
  • As a first time Mum, my mother was probably worried about the birth.
  • I was born two weeks late and there may have been a link with that and being worried about the birth.
  • I was born very stressed and malnourished with the umbilical cord wrapped three times around my neck.
  • I was taught by my mother's actions that the natural first response to anything upsetting was to worry.
  • I also made a list of conclusions I had drawn about worry as a result of my upbringing and came up with:

I considered my parents to be very responsible people

My parents first response to any uncertainty was to worry

Therefore "Responsible people worry, that's what they do"

I then used another method I sometimes use to flush out additional writing on the walls - thinking about how a person without your writing on the walls handles a similar situation.  This led to me thinking about how my partner was handling the same situation, and flushed out the writing on the walls that:

It's irresponsible not to worry!  (While intellectually I was appalled at my conclusion, emotionally I was convinced that I was in the right and my partner was indeed being completely irresponsible trusting that it would all work out in the end!)

I decided to combine the sort of tapping and phrases that Silvia suggested in her article, with doing the 9 gamut process very slowly for each trauma, something else I have been experimenting with and finding very powerful.  Sometimes I type up the starting statements that I am going to tap on, in order to allow myself to just "follow along" instead of having to think up the words as I'm tapping.  This is the process I mapped out:

1.  Start by tapping on the top of the head and talking to the baby and young child inside of me to let them know what I would be doing, and thanking the parts of me who have been keeping me worrying to ensure that I'm a responsible person.  (To start with acceptance and make sure all parts of me realised this was a team thing, rather than something I was trying to "get rid of.")

2.  Even though this baby was bathed in worry while in the womb, from when her Mum was worried about the effect on her of the medication she was taking for a short time, from all the things her Mum worried about while pregnant with her, I now deeply and profoundly love and accept and heal this baby.

3.  9 Gamut process for worry in the womb

4.  Tapping through all points with the phrase I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all effects of worry sustained while in the womb

5.  Even though this baby was affected by all her Mum's worries leading up to, during and after the birth, and was so worried about being born that she was two weeks late, I now deeply and profoundly love and accept and heal this baby.  (Rambling through the tapping points including statements like "born into worry and stress")

 6.  9 Gamut process for worry about being born and associating life with worry because I was born into worry and stress

7.  Tapping through all the points with the phrase … I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all the effects of worry sustained leading up to, during and after her birth.

8.  Even though this child was taught to worry and not to trust, I now deeply and profoundly love and encourage this child to trust (+ rambling through points)

9.  9 Gamut process for being taught to worry as first response

10.  Tapping through all the points with … I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all effects of being taught to worry as the first response to anything upsetting and let her know that it's safe to trust.

11.  Even though this child was taught that it is responsible to worry, I now deeply and profoundly love and encourage this child to know that trusting in the responsible choice. (+ Rambling through points)

12.  Tapping through all the points with I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby and this little girl of all the effects of being taught to worry as the first response to anything upsetting and let her know that the responsible choice is to trust.

13.  Even though as a baby and a child I was taught that responsible people worry, I now choose to know that the responsible choice is to trust. (Tapped this with three rounds: 1 - Taught that responsible people worry, 2 - The responsible choice is to trust, 3 - Alternating the two 14.  9 Gamut process for all remaining effects of being taught to worry

As I tapped the following additional things came to mind which I addressed as they came up:

My mother was my protector and her response to anything upsetting was to worry, so I associated worry with protection.  There was writing on my wall that said that the best way to protect myself from something was to worry.

There was a part of me that felt it was not safe to stop worrying - I had pain all up the back of my neck that I needed to tap on before I could continue. I was born into worry and had a belief that you are only really alive if you are worrying about something.

I realised that the writing on the walls was more specific than I had first thought, and it was that the natural response to uncertainty was to worry

I was unable to tap on the part that it's safe to trust and had to take a detour and deal with early events that had resulted in me taking on the belief that trusting someone results in you getting hurt.  There were two key events that came up with this.

By the time I had finished half of this tapping I had burped and yawned so much, and accessed so many previously unknown feelings that I had to stop for the day.  By this time I had completely stopped worrying about the previously "major" situation, and had realised that my partner's approach was the responsible one.  The following day I finished off the tapping to be sure.

While I won't know whether or not this has really made a dent in my lifelong tendency to worry for a while, I know that I cleared a heck of a lot of writing from my walls that I didn't even know I had and I have had an number of occasions since where I would normally have worried, which haven't resulted in any worrying at all.  I was also totally at peace with the situation that had caused so much worry that my chest had been tight, and surprise, surprise - it resolved itself the following day and it turned out my partner's approach was the only sensible option! 

I have found a remarkable absence of the voice in my head that used to comment on all the things that could go wrong in any new situation, and it seems to have been replaced by a trusting voice that is proving to be much better company!

I seriously encourage anyone who is dealing with core writing on the walls to consider using the tapping in this way that Silvia suggests, and incorporating a slow and mindful version of the 9 gamut process each step of the way if it feels supportive to you.  This sort of tapping on early messages is so incredibly powerful, it's really getting to the root of so many of our current issues.

Jo Hainsworth

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