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Articles & Ideas

Professional

Listening to this client's words led to a surprising core issue

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Read this article by Jane Beard carefully because it brings out several principles that can turn a no-result case into a spectacular one. After using EFT with her client for awhile she makes this discovery, "Then Rusty blurted out:  "It's like, just his EXISTENCE alone is enough to piss me off!"  Hot dog! That was golden. We tapped some more..."

Hugs, Gary


By Jane Beard

Hi, Gary. I wanted to share with you the story of a client who was sent to me this summer because of a workplace problem that was threatening his job.

"Rusty" has worked on the marketing team for a mid-sized healthcare company for about three years, and always got along with everyone. So it mystified everyone, Rusty included, when he suddenly couldn't get along with his new boss, Mr. Walker. Everything Mr. Walker did upset Rusty, and Rusty found himself acting out in ways ranging from avoiding him to arguing about things that, on an objective level, shouldn't have mattered.

We looked at the kinds of behaviors which triggered Rusty, and could find no pattern. We tapped on the words he used to describe the problem:

Even though I never had any trouble with anyone else on my team…

Even though everyone else seems to like him and I can't stand him…

Even though everything he does just annoys me to death…

Even though it's hopeless to have to live with this guy…

Then Rusty blurted out:  "It's like, just his EXISTENCE alone is enough to piss me off!"  Hot dog! That was golden. We tapped some more:

Even though Mr. Walker's existence alone is enough to piss me off…

Even though it makes no sense that his just being here at all makes me furious…

Even though I didn't ask to get a new boss, and never had trouble with the old ones...Here Rusty commented, It seems so unfair that I should have to go out like this. We tapped:

Even though it seems so unfair I should have to go out like this…

Even though I can't seem to control my feelings about Mr. Walker, and it may end up being the end of my career at (Company X)…

Now I began to notice that Rusty was alternating between using the words, "My walker," and "Mr. Walker."  When I asked him if he'd ever used a walker, that he could recall, he answered that he hadn't. He had no experience with walkers that he could recall. When tapped on:

Even though there is some reason I keep saying 'my walker' instead of 'Mr. Walker' and I think it may mean something I can't put my finger on…

Even though I may never know what that is, I think it reminds me of something and it could be easy to remember…  Here, as we tapped around the face and torso, I left room for him to fill in a blank, as I had seen done on several of the EFT DVDs and in demos by EFT Masters. It's a spectacular technique, and I use it often.

I lead him to the beginning of the eyebrow point, and worked around the face while repeating: I may never know/I might remember/I may never know/I could remember easily/It reminds me of..

And out of his mouth came the words, "My grandmother's walker." And there it was. Until her death when Rusty was aged 8, his elderly grandmother lived with them. She was completely dependent on a walker, and hated both the dependency and the piece of metal itself. "Get me the %^$$# walker"" she would shout.  "I can't live like this!"" "I hate my life and this $%^#% walker!" 

When she finally died, her son - Rusty's father - took the walker to the backyard and set it afire in a pile of rubbish, to strike a blow of vengeance on behalf of his mother. The blackened hulk stayed in the yard for nearly a year before it was thrown away. Rusty was stunned at the connection. But energy checking (or muscle testing) showed him it was for real. We tapped.

Even though my Grammy hated her walker…

Even though that walker helped her get around, and she couldn't see the good for the bad…

Even though I can still feel what it was like when she would shout about the walker, and how much I hated it…

Even though she scared me…

Even though she meant a literal walker and I somehow got confused about all kinds of walkers…   

By now, Rusty was laughing. "Incredible! If my new boss had just been named anything but 'Walker' then none of this would have happened!"

We continued to tap for about ten minutes more, working on issues of forgiveness  (his grandmother, himself, the way he got "wired" to this negative reaction) and apologies (to himself, his boss, his colleagues)., so that he could  go back to work with new energy.

This session occurred in the beginning of July. I've heard from him and from colleagues that he is back to being the old Rusty, and his relationship with Mr. Walker is positive. This case cemented several things for me, which is why I wanted to share it.

1) Using the clients own words is HUGE.  If I had missed using, "Even his very existence," then we might never have ended up where we did.

2) Mistakes aren't mistakes. When Rusty switched Mr. Walker for MY walker, his subconscious was right on the money.

3) Follow paths of resistance. Allowing that he might never know the connection ended up showing us what it was. But it might just as easily have happened that he never remembered. Both outcomes would have been useful.

4) Leaving a fill-in-the-blank can deliver useful surprises. For both you and the client!

5) Add a forgiveness step, especially when someone has been engaged in behavior about which they could feel guilt or remorse.

And finally: This stuff WORKS!

Jane Beard

MS, C.EHP

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