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Surrogate

Beth's Stalker Problem Resolved with Surrogate EFT

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. As a result, it is likely outdated. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping but you should also explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™, and/or get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.

Hi Everyone,

Read this fascinating article by Maiyah Olivas. She uses regular surrogate (she calls it proxy) EFT to bring peace to a whole family that was beset by a seriously ill ex-husband stalker. The stalker's behavior changed as well. Much to learn here.

Hugs, Gary


By Maiyah Olivas

(All names have been changed for reasons of privacy and confidentiality)

"Beth's" life was falling apart because she and her two daughters were being stalked. The stalker, Jim, was her ex-husband, and the girls' biological father. He had purchased a gun and had taken to carrying it while stalking them.

1) both girls were bedwetting again (I'd treated them for bedwetting 9 months before with positive results);
2) Beth's work performance was down and so were her commissions;
3) The financial strain was increasing family stress;
4) All three were having panic attacks;
5) The older girl, Carrie, was acting out in anger at her father;
6) The younger daughter Alison, had once again been experiencing night terrors (which had disappeared with previous EFT work)
7) Beth was spending hundreds of dollars on hotel rooms during the weekends trying to avoid him (the police were unable to do anything until after an upcoming hearing, as no actual violence had occurred and she was reluctant to put her friends in danger);
8) Jim had stalked them before (without a gun), yet Beth had had little success with restraining orders because Jim is extremely intelligent and was able to "play nice" in previous hearings and convince authorities that Beth was overreacting. Beth had reported the gun sighting to the authorities and a hearing was scheduled for the next week. Beth was afraid that the authorities would once again be "taken in" by Jim's surface charm and niceness.

Uses of EFT in this Session

First I proxy-tapped for Beth (tapping on myself in her behalf), who was hysterical and hyperventilating while describing the situation to me to the point where she couldn't even remember to tap herself. She calmed down quickly, and then we set some goals for the session:

1) My daughters and I are safe and secure wherever we live now and always;
2) We only attract helpful loving healthy relationships with all people, especially men;
3) My girls and I are happy and healthy on all levels including mental, emotional and spiritual;
4) Jim realizes that he needs help and requests it;
5) The court system and all associated with it are helpful and supportive to me and my children and all rulings and judgments lead to our safety and Jim's increased health and accountability;
6) Jim's new wife and son are safe and secure wherever they live now and always;
7) Jim learns to love and accept himself so that he never feels the need to threaten or harm anyone else again for the rest of his life;
8) We extend all benefits of this work to all others who desire it (I always add in a line like that, to help the general positive vibration of the world);

Not surprisingly, Beth's level of upset on these goals was off the charts! On a 0-10 intensity scale, she scored 10s on anxiety, upset and was 0 for believing that it could change for all the issues.

Second we did tapping rounds on several phrases to address her willingness to change the energy around the situation. (I've found willingness tapping to be very key for long-standing situations.).

Beth tapped her KC and I tapped her basic recipe points for her. I find this arrangement maximizes energy shifting for some people, and I do it as guided by my intuition.

Even though...

I'm afraid this will never end.
Part of me is afraid EFT won't work in this situation
This has been going on so long
I feel like somehow I deserve this or it wouldn't happen
I'm so tired of living like it-I'd rather die than live in fear like this for the rest of my life
I'm afraid my kids will never fell safe
I'm afraid we'll never be healed
I'm afraid for Jim's new wife and child
I can't believe this will get better after so many bad years

I'm willing for the energy to shift
I'm willing for it all to work out wonderfully beyond my imaginings
I'm willing for all of us to heal and improve our relationships
I'm willing for the court and social services system to help me
I'm willing for Jim to confess and go into counseling and benefit from it
I'm willing for my girls and me to have positive loving relationships in our lives, especially with trustworthy, loving men

Third, I did some proxy tapping for her children, Carrie and Allison, while Beth tapped her gamut point (to help release stuckness of habits, patterns and emotions in the dysfunctional connections between her ex-husband and her children):

Even though.

Daddy scares me and does crazy things
I hate the way he acts
I can't trust my dad
We have to hide from dad
Dad has a gun, he might kill us
I'm afraid dad will hurt us
I'm afraid dad will hurt our little brother and our step-mom
Men are scary

I'm willing...

for us 3 to be safe and happy
to love and accept myself
to know it's not my fault
to know that I'm a great kid
to know that I deserve to have a great life
to know that real love is kind
to know that I deserve real love
to know that my brother and my step-mom are always safe and protected
to know that the 3 of us are always safe and protected
to let Dad tell everyone the truth about how he feels
to let the court and judge help dad get better
to believe that kind, trustworthy men exist and to allow kind, trustworthy men to be our friends

At this point Beth said "I feel so much better Maiyah, I know this is going to work, I know it will."

Fourth, I proxy tapped for her ex-husband, Jim. I've found that proxy tapping can be done for anyone anywhere at any time, regardless of whether or not I know where they are or if I've seen them before.

(Caution: unless a practitioner has done a lot of personal growth work and is skilled at releasing their own energetic and emotional blocks I DON'T recommend doing proxy tapping for stalkers or emotionally and mentally disturbed people. It can be extremely draining and disorienting. If you want to try it, I suggest doing a session or two on yourself in preparation, and I'll send in an article on that soon).

As Jim, the stalker, I tapped through the following issues, which I intuited from my energetic connection with him. The feelings I connected with were definitely someone else's: chaotic, extreme and confusing. There was an overwhelming sense of pain and loss and unworthiness. I "felt" much larger physically and had a sense of being a very young, hurt boy in a large body. There were quick, flickering memories of abusive situations with people I assumed were Jim's parents. I was able to keep my own center while doing this work. I feel that if I hadn't processed a lot of my own personal issues, that the wildness of the energy and emotions would have been overwhelming.

Even though...

I don't know why I hurt so much
I don't know why I can't control myself
I try to hurt people I love
I'm in so much emotional pain
My parents hated and derided me
I'm desperate about my daughters and ex-wife
I can't believe I do these things
I'm carrying a gun around
I feel crazy
I can't be crazy
It can't be my fault
No one could possibly love me
I can't bear it if my daughters and ex-wife move away again

I'm willing...

to ask for and receive help
to release my damaging patterns
to understand what healthy love is
to stop carrying the gun around
to tell the judge everything
to know that I can be healthy and loving with everyone
to know that I can be healthy and loving with myself
to know I can heal from my childhood problems
to stop the cycle of abuse in my family pattern
to be happy for my daughters and ex-wife
to focus on my inner process instead of trying to control other people
to accept and love myself
to be accountable for my actions
to express my feelings in healthy ways

Fifth, I proxy tapped for the court hearing itself, treating the event as a "person," and for the officials and counselors involved in the system:

Even though...

This is so confusing
We're not sure how this case should go
The law wants us to wait until physical harm occurs
He seems like a smart guy and sure acts like he loves his daughters
He's trying to make it seem like his ex-wife is just hysterical and doesn't know what she's talking about

I'm willing...

To know the real truth
To make sure everyone stays safe
To make help available
To keep an open mind about her side of things
To really listen to the kids and their feelings
To be divinely guided to the right thing to do for everyone
To help this family be healthy and loving and safe for everyone

Sixth and last I did the gamut with Beth on:

I gratefully accept all the benefits of this session.
I gratefully accept my safety and my children's safety and the safety of our homes for the rest of our lives.
I know our energies have shifted in divinely guided ways for highest good for all concerned and that this lasts for the rest of our lives and even better.

When I finished, Beth said "Oh my goodness Maiyah, I knew you were good and now I feel like you can shift reality at will! I feel completely different, as though it's all going to work out and I feel clean, clear, and light!"

Positive Results!

This session took about two hours and it was pretty intense almost the entire time. At the end Beth gave me a big hug-she was all smiles and self-confidence. She noted: "I forgot what it felt like to be this happy. I am full of hope after months of tension and despair. I knew that you could help me, yet this is so much better than I even imagined! I feel fantastic and completely confident!"

During a follow-up phone discussion two weeks later, Beth told me that:

1) Jim never stalked her and her daughters again after that session;
2) Jim confessed to all kinds of things at the hearing, even things from years ago which he had previously denied and lied about. Consequently, she got the maximum restraining order on him (2 years) and he was remanded to counseling;
3) She and her kids have always felt safe since then;
4) She planned to come to me about financial issues and her own childhood abuse at the hands of her father-that is another great healing story which I'm happy to say ended extremely well, with her and her daughters moving to Hawaii with a nest egg!

I'm happy to be helping people improve their lives every day with this powerful tool, even in extremely difficult circumstances.

All good wishes,

Maiyah Olivas

FOR MORE EFT HELP ...

Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™