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Pain Management

Surrogate EFT brings multiple benefits to Molly and her mother--an enjoyable trip to the emergency room

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Children experience many injuries as they grow up and some of them are quite serious. As a result, parents can have worry and tension as well. Note how Wendy Koebel handled her daughter's accident to bring about a happy ending for everyone.

Hugs, Gary

By Wendy Koebel, EFT-ADV

Dear Gary,

I am writing because I feel the need to share how EFT made a trip the Emergency Room "fun" and to remind any parents out there to keep tapping as it truly can make your life so much easier.

After I got the emergency phone call, it only took me about 10 minutes to get to my friend's house where my daughter (Molly) was playing. But when I arrived the scene wasn't good.  Molly was hysterically crying. Her friend who had accidentally slammed the door was hiding and crying and the mother was beside herself due to the amount of blood that had been pouring from my daughter's finger for the last 20 minutes.  Some immediate crisis intervention of bribes, bandages and promises of future play dates got us to a point where we could go home.

Later that night, although the bleeding had stopped, it wasn't much better.  As the parents we were only allowed to look at the mangled finger nail for 10 seconds at a time and any mention of doctor, ER or Urgent Care set off another tirade of panicky tears.  Although EFT has helped Molly in the past, she was not open to tapping in any way that evening. 

Finally, we decided that everything was easier when you have a well rested six year old so we all went to bed.  As I lay there I figured that I had 10 hours to use EFT to get all of us to a better place for the morning, as I knew this is the kind of thing you go to the doctor for, even if you don't want to.

I started tapping on my stuff.  I think this is an important point because I do not believe we can effectively surrogate tap for someone else if our own fears and worries get in the way.  It reminds me of being on an airplane when they tell you to put the mask on yourself first and then your kids next.  EFT is like that we can't help our kids if we can't breathe or think clearly.

Even though I am scared...

Even though I get nauseous when I look at her finger...

Even though I have to be strong and I'm not...

Even though I wish it were me instead of her...

Even though she could lose a nail...

Even though the nail might never grow back...

Even though WebMD said they might have to cut it and stitch it to the nail bed...

Even though WebMD scared me...

Even though the ER will be expensive...

Even though I will feel embarrassed if we go to the ER and it is no big deal...

That tapping got me to a much better place and I was ready to turn my attention to Molly.  She was sleeping in the room down the hall and I simply imagined her face and body and imagined the spots being tapped.  I used phrases similar to these:

I hurt my finger and I'm a great kid

I am scared and I'm a great kid

My finger hurts and I know my body can heal

My nail is all broken but I know my body is strong

I kept bleeding through my bandage but I know my body can heal

I can't look at my finger and I'm a great kid

I don't want to see a doctor and I'm a great kid

I hate shots and I'm a great kid

I had to leave my friend's early and I'm a great kid

I tried to be brave and not cry and I'm a great kid

I cried lots and I am a brave kid I think this will hurt forever but I can be calm and relaxed

I then did a couple rounds just focusing on how I thought she would want to feel.  Once again I was just thinking the phrase while imagining the spots being tapped.

Calm and relaxed … My body is strong and can heal this right now  … Comfortable and healed

I then went back to tapping on me and did some rounds on the ideal solution to the next day.  I used the following setup phrase:

Even though I don't know what will happen I chose to believe that we will arrive at ER at the perfect time so we are seen quickly, we will get the perfect doctor who makes Molly feel comfortable and can treat her in the least invasive yet medically sound way possible, and that the whole process of going to ER will be fun.

For reminder phrases I alternated with … perfect timing … perfect doctor … ER is fun.  I kept tapping until I feel asleep.

The next morning arrived and Molly reported no pain, she was chipper, talkative and decided that skipping school for the ER was a good plan.  We got to the ER, where we were the only people; we were seen quickly by the nurse, the x-ray tech, and the doctor.  The doctor made Molly laugh, cleaned the finger, gave her a Band-Aid and a special splint and we were back in our car in less than 2 hours.  As we were pulling out of the parking lot Molly said, "Mommy, that was so much fun."

My eyes filled up with tears when I heard her – tears of gratitude, relief, and joy.  I had not told her about my late night tapping so she didn't know that is what I had wished for.  Any technique that can get me to a better place so I can be a better parent, get her to a better place so she can enjoy the moment and not be overwhelmed with worry, and that can take a trip to the ER and make it fun should be something in every parent's toolbox.

Thanks for letting me share, what I consider to be a wonderful EFT moment.  I have never met a parent who wanted to do a bad job.  But parenting can be so overwhelming; often you just don't know what the right answer is.  I hope this will inspire others to keep tapping, especially when things are hard, as EFT can help on so many different levels.


Wendy Koebel, LMSW, EFT-ADV


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.