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Mourning the mother she's slowly losing

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Deborah Mitnick makes an important point in an elegant and touching way. There's a companion piece to this that Deborah wrote some time ago. It's called "Tapping brought us closer and made me understand."

Hugs to all (especially to Deborah),


by Deborah Mitnick

Her mother's memory is getting worse. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's seems more and more certain. She recently had to encourage her Mom to give up driving. She's just had to move her Mom to an assisted living facility. Mom knew it was time to move, but the emotional pain has been excruciating for both of them during the transition.

She does Mom's care taking with love and understanding, but inside, she aches and grieves.

She cries a lot when she's alone. In fact, she cries when a grocery store clerk asks, "How are you today?" She's even been known to cry while waiting in lines in banks and restaurants.

In her professional life, she is a caretaker, too. She's helped a lot of people get over troubling issues. Actually, she's an energy therapist and has used EFT and many other methods to help hundreds of people, both by phone and in person.

But in the last few months, she's been too busy caring for her Mom to see her regular clients. She's also been too emotionally distraught to work.

She cries a lot when she's alone, when she's cleaning out her Mom's old apartment, when she's making calls to officially change her Mom's address for the phone company, the credit card company, Medicare, and all those other places that need to be notified of the change.

So, she's a great caretaker for others, but she "forgot" that she had a wonderful skill with which to care for herself. She "forgot" about EFT. She "forgot" about tapping for herself.

And all she did was cry.

Then she remembered EFT. She tapped for general issues, such as "all of these Mom emotions," "feeling all alone with the problem emotions," "watching Mom change so rapidly," "having to take on a difficult role all by myself."

And the crying stopped. Peace settled in. She was able to handle her tasks with Mom with less emotional pain. She felt better about herself and was ready to work with her clients again.

Have you guessed yet? Did you figure it out?

I'm writing about myself. Here I am...the one who always helps others. And it didn't even occur to me to help myself.

I feel so much better now. And I'm reminding you to take care of yourself! Tapping has helped so many of our clients, but self-care is essential. I'm now able to achieve a balance with my Mom and with all the other people I want to help!

Since I took the time to tap for myself, my phone has started to ring. I'm now meeting with phone clients again as well as clients in my office. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to help others.

And I now remember to help myself, too.

Deborah Mitnick, LCSW-C


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.