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1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
3. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
4. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
5. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
6. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
7. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
8. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it
9. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
10. Never lick a steak knife.

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