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Fears And Phobias


Fear of social occasions resolved despite not finding the cause

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

To perform EFT efficiently, it is usually helpful to first locate the cause of an issue. However, Moira McFadyen from Scotland illustrates that this is not always necessary. Sometimes we can persistently aim EFT at the problem and resolution happens anyway. It is as though the proper issues are resolved behind the scenes.

Hugs, Gary

By Moira McFadyen, EFT-ADV

Hi Gary

I thought you might be interested in this experience I had with a client who had a fear of social occasions.  We never managed to find out what caused the fear, but we did manage to clear it.

Katie (not her real name) came to me saying that her fear of social occasions was really starting to affect her life.  She had been at a work team-building day, which she had been dreading.  Despite her fear, she had been fine until her line manager was asked to sit at another table and she was left on her own with a group of strangers.  She panicked and got really upset.  She was still upset telling me about it more than 4 weeks later.

Katie came across as being a very confident person and she confirmed to me that she was confident in all other areas of her life.  She just couldn't cope with social situations, especially when games were involved.  She hated people watching her as she got embarrassed and felt stupid.  She would start to feel the fear when she was invited.  This would gradually build until the date of the party or social occasion, by which time she would be panicking so much that she wouldn't want to go.

I asked her if she knew when this fear had started and she told me she'd no memory of anything bad happening at parties as a child.  She said she did remember pretending to be ill when she was 10 so she wouldn't have to go to a Christmas party but she couldn't remember why.  She'd asked her parents if anything bad had ever happened to her at these parties but they couldn't remember anything.

I pointed out to Katie that pretending to be ill to get out of going to a Christmas party was not normal behaviour for a child and that something upsetting must have happened at the previous party.  Katie agreed but assured me she couldn't think of anything.

I suggested that we work on her inner child and all the possible things which could upset a child at a Christmas party.  To do this, I spent a few minutes putting myself into the shoes of a 10 year old and envisioning everything bad that could happen to me at a Christmas party, like getting lost, being made fun off, failing at games, being laughed at by the other children, being rejected, being forgotten about & not getting a present from Santa, feeling stupid, embarrassed.

I got Katie to tap on each of the scenarios in turn and would watch her for an emotional or physical response to the words used and then would enlarge on the trigger words and tap on every possible aspect.  The two words that were major emotional triggers for Katie were rejection and abandoned.  We kept tapping on these words, incorporating them into each of the scenarios, until her level of intensity went to 0 on a scale of 0 to 10.

Even though my 10 year old inner child felt abandoned at a Christmas party, she couldn't find her daddy, and she still feels lost and alone, she can now release this fear because everyone loves her and she's safe and secure.

Even though my 10 year old inner child felt rejected at the Christmas party and still feels hurt and embarrassed, she can now release this hurt, no one is laughing at her anymore and she's safe and secure.

I saw Katie on three occasions.  During the first appointment we focused totally on the unknown fear.  At the two following appointments we focused on clearing two current emotional issues, regarding her parent's health, which added to her current stress levels.  However I would ensure that we spent part of these appointments returning to her unknown fear and clearing any residual tail-enders.  I would do this by approaching the setups which had caused the most emotional reactions from a different point of view or different aspect.  On the third appointment she had no reaction to any of the scenarios.  I then didn't see Katie for three weeks due to annual leave.

When she returned for her fourth appointment, I asked her how she'd been and she replied, "absolutely fine".  She told me she'd been invited to two social occasions since the last time I saw her and had gone without any problems. Also, her workplace was planning the Christmas party and she was actually looking forward to it, with no hint of nerves at all.  She was thrilled with what EFT had done for her and was happy to be discharged.

Kind regards



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