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Articles & Ideas

Using EFT

Using EFT for changing habits and more

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Steve DeSanto gives us a common sense use of EFT for changing habits and overcoming irritations. After describing his process he says, "Get a piece of paper and write a short list of minor annoyances you’d like to change.  Then write some new things you’d like to start doing."

Hugs, Gary

By Steve DeSanto

There are many ways to use EFT to change behaviors or install new ones.  But for some reason I keep going back to reread Thorsten Kominek’s article.  Perhaps it’s the story itself that intrigues me.  

Perhaps it’s the simplicity of his process:  Installing a behavior by doing it, then tapping on: Even though ___ (this new behavior) feels UN-familiar and strange… - then after that, tapping to extinguish the old behavior with: Even though ___ (the old behavior) feels familiar… 

The key to making the change last, of course, is tapping until the old behavior really does feel UN-familiar and tapping until the new one feels comfortable.  This however is not always easy to gauge.  Nevertheless, I’ve used this process for a number of issues.  And because there have been so many, I want to tell you of the only one that comes to mind most frequently.  The reason is it’s related directly to something physical I encounter everyday – the kitchen silverware drawer.

Here’s the scoop:  For over 20 years we’ve kept the everyday silverware in a specific drawer near the stove.  Going to this location was a habit of a lifetime for our boys.  Then a couple years ago, my wife decided that the spices should be there and made The Big Change. 

As you might guess, remembering the change was a daily nuisance for everyone.  We always went to the spice drawer first before remembering, oh, yeah, the silverware’s in that other one now!  We even put a piece of masking tape on the edge of the counter above the old drawer with a black arrow pointing in the direction of the new one. 

Needless to say, The Big Change produced some heated debate, but my wife stood firm, proclaiming the desirability of having spices by the stove, even though I do as much cooking as she does and didn’t think the change was worth the inconvenience. 

I remember the Christmas vacation right after the switch when our oldest son came home from college and discovered the change.  He let out an amused shout that got my attention in the living room.  I went to see what the commotion was about and saw him grinning and pointing to the open spice drawer.  “What’s with this?” he said.

We all eventually became more accustomed to the change, but I realized a while ago that I was still visiting the old drawer first when I wasn’t focused on what I was doing.  After all, it’s not uncommon to get a cup of coffee and grab a spoon from a familiar drawer without much thought.  Old habits die hard.  So, a few weeks ago I decided it would be worth using EFT to solidify the change in my subconscious so it would finally become a non-issue.  Think about it.  How many seemingly insignificant habits like this do we put up with and never consider tapping?

But back to my story.  I stood in front of the old silverware drawer and opened and closed it several times.  Then while staring at the drawer, I tapped on: Even though coming for silverware to what is now the spice drawer feels very familiar, because we kept silverware here for so long…  I did 3 or 4 rounds on this phrase. 

Then I walked over and stood in front of the current silverware drawer and tapped on:  Even though coming to this drawer first for silverware feels unfamiliar and strange…  A couple of days later, I realized the tapping had made a distinct difference.  It worked!  And interestingly, it was NOT while I was still in the kitchen that I would remember and marvel at how well the change had worked because of the EFT. 

If there are habits you’d like to break that don’t relate to deeper issues with a web of related aspects, my guess is these would respond best to tapping as I did above.  Or maybe you’d like to install a new habit, but it hasn’t seemed important enough to concentrate on.

For instance, do you keep losing your glasses because you don’t use them often enough to make sure you always know where you put them last?  Think of the possibilities.  Why not experiment?  Get a piece of paper and write a short list of minor annoyances you’d like to change.  Then write some new things you’d like to start doing.

One last suggestion for the sake of household peace and tranquility: Why not tap to become “comfortable and happy” with some irritating habit of your spouse’s, or that of some other relative or co-worker.  Call it your small contribution to world peace.

I’m talking about something that’s been driving you up the wall for years. 

One problem you may have is feeling “entitled” to holding on to your displeasure with what you perceive as a major issue.  So maybe you should first tap on “feeling justified in holding on to my displeasure" ... with whatever it is.  Let’s face it; nobody likes being told to change.  So maybe, if you tap away your upset and stop criticizing, the other person just might change on his own.  You think?

Psychiatrist, William Glasser, wrote an entire book called Choice Theory, that essentially talks about how the only behavior you can really change is your own.  We who use EFT are miles ahead of everyone else because we have a wonderful tool to help us do just that, but with a lot less effort and aggravation. 

Steve DeSanto 


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.