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Questions and Answers

Money Issues And Fetus Issues

This correspondence with one of our OEFT Course Members should be of interest. Her questions/comments are in black and mine are in red.


Hi Gary, I would like your views on two different issues. 

Issue #1

Gary Craig logoI'm presently trying to help a friend of my husband's, a lady aged 60, and the practice of OEFT has been precious to help me find many of her "real problems". One in particular I don't quite know how to handle. 

When she was still in the womb, her mother was having a hard time for various reasons, including the fact that her husband was worried about not having enough money to raise a second child. (although when he died he left a huge sum of money that he had spared, while his family almost lived in poverty!) 

The problem of economic resources was not only hers and her father's, but also her grandfather's. Both men are dead now. 

I believe it is important to ask Unseen Therapist to solve those two dead men's relationship with money, and also the pregnant mother in order to stop once and for all that emotional cascade from one generation to the other. Am I right? I see it differently. 

As you indicate, her mother was having a hard time “for various reasons.” Thus her problems cannot be reduced to just money issues. Abuses, traumas, abandonments, rejections and a long list of other possibilities arise. Thus I don’t see how we can isolate an ancestral “relationship with money” issue. They are likely all interconnected. 

Further, OEFT (The Unseen Therapist) is particularly good at collapsing RESPONSES to the money and other issues. So, her RESPONSES  to the money issues can be shifted, just like with the other issues. That is the truly important piece. Accordingly, in doing so, any generational cascade on these problems can be halted. When, through appropriate reframes, she sees the insecurities and fears motivating her father’s/grandfather’s money decisions, she can then exercise understanding of these behaviors. This is NOT to excuse the behaviors. Rather, understanding them can move her toward freedom on any resentments involved. Ultimately, this is what we want. We cannot change the past but we CAN gain freedom from resentments about it. That is first class healing. 

Also, to ask Unseen Therapist to solve someone else’s “relationship with money” issues tends to impose your view of what that relationship should be. That is a typical ego-involvement in the process that can limit our results. No criticism here, it’s just something egos do. While you may be convinced of your position on this point, even with good reason, you cannot know all the motivations and facts behind someone else’s decisions. Thus to ask The Unseen Therapist to solve any problem on your terms, even if those terms are deemed “generally acceptable” by other egos, is limiting and may fall flat… or… produce a result that is outside your expectation and thus erroneously deemed a failure. 

Now how would you proceed ? How would you evaluate the 0-10 intensity, and how would you know if/when the problem is solved ?Through surrogate work or does it need for me to actually imagine I am that person? I would work directly with your friend’s emotional RESPONSES to all that has happened and work toward fading those RESPONSES, especially including any resentments involved. Reduce her experiences to specific events and proceed as you would with any other issue. 

I do not feel at all comfortable (euphemism!) imagining I'm a deceased person, although I realize Unseen Therapist will not solve the problem should it be part of the spiritual path of those two men. Not necessary.

Any advice from you is most welcome. 

Issue #2

My problem with OEFT (and with EFT before that) is that I have absolutely no intensity remembering episodes of the past. In other words, I could never make a Personal Peace Procedure list! Many of us have little or no intensity on our past specific events, including me. This can either be a solid sign that we are seeing beyond the foibles of this illusion or the repression of events that “we would rather not look at”… or both. 

None of us are free of blame, guilt, fears, resentments and the like. They are an integral part of this illusory experience. But if we are unable to get much current intensity on recalling these memories, even if we effort at remembering them vividly (try this, you may be surprised at the resulting intensity), we can still address them. The mere fact that you remember them provides evidence that they have some importance and need resolution. 

So go ahead and address them with the Personal Peace Procedure. You may not be able to measure your BEFORE and AFTER results on a 0-10 scale so do a handful of rounds on each of them. You will likely bring at least some resolution to them and this will add to your personal peace. Also, don’t be surprised if some intensity arises during the process and/or you discover pointers to other, deeper issues you may have forgotten/repressed. 

Now there's one episode which I remembered recently, and I strongly believe it had consequences on my son. Therefore I would really try and fix that with the help of Unseen Therapist. 

Some 45 years ago, in my second month of pregnancy, I caught sight of my husband in a "tender" attitude with a young cousin of mine. At the time it was a strong emotional shock for me because I imagined the worst for the future. (I was not as serene as I am now, with old age !) 

The fetus was certainly shocked as well. Ever since he was born my son was incredibly agitated, and even now he's 44 the slightest event, or opinion or anything contrary to his views drives him crazy, and verbally aggressive, I believe it is the cause of his often having headaches, stomach acid reflux, and now strong back pain. Likely. 

Considering EFT/OEFT is not at all his cup of tea I could only work on him surrogately, with a "guessing" approach. But hearing some fantastic results reported in your webinars, I would definitely like to give it a try. Good thought. 

Let us say that it is my own reaction that was the cause of it all, so I guess I should also do some work on myself first of all ... or not ?? given it is "a big fat zero" (as Gabriëlle  would put it) as far as my emotions are concerned. Of course, it would be desirable to work on your own RESPONSE to all this… even if you appear to have "a big fat zero” on it. Address it as I indicated above. 

A bigger issue, perhaps, is your son’s RESPONSE to all this. As you suggest, you can surrogately address his presumed RESPONSE to the “fetus shock” and see what happens to his behaviors. However, my intuition suggests that there is more to address. Perhaps other fetus shocks and/or specific events that he has experienced over time are contributors to his behavior. You probably know some of these specific events or can make them up and at least be somewhere on the target. 

You will not have immediate feedback regarding your results but you can notice his behavior changes over time. In doing this, there is a high likelihood that you will gain additional personal peace yourself. Remember, we are all One. At the core we all have the same issues. Only the details are different.

e-hugs, Gary


Gary CraigRead my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist for a solid understanding of our latest advancement, Optimal EFT.

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