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Fears And Phobias

Being Alone

A session on the fear of being alone involves many EFT principles

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. As a result, it is likely outdated. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping but you should also explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™, and/or get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

There are many solid EFT principles in this fine article by Janelle Sagen. Notice how she makes her best progress when finding a specific event (her mother's death) and how more memories showed during the process. Janelle says, "...however she continued to tell me various things about her life since her mother's passing.  These were all memories she told me she didn't remember having before we began tapping. They just began flooding in."

Hugs, Gary

By Janelle Sagen

Hey Gary,

After 13 years in the lending industry when my path changed to coaching and consulting several years ago, the natural progression was to offer my realtors coaching advice on growing their businesses.

Jane mentioned an issue she was having while in one of my business-building workshops.  She confided that she had an extreme fear of being alone in her home, where she lived with her husband and three kids.  Living with four other people there was always something going on. However when the kids are in school and her husband is working, she is alone.

As a realtor she works from a home office to save money on desk fees and other fees generated by her working in the main office of her real estate company.  She reported having problems concentrating and would often leave the T.V. and radio on loudly to feel as though someone was home with her and this was extremely distracting.  She would spend most of her day out in the field, or farm as it's known to realtors; this resulted in many clients, however she would fall behind by not getting her "desk work" done for these prospective clients. This left her vulnerable to people not wanting to work with her and she was beginning to lose business.  I told her about EFT and she agreed to try anything as her business was really being affected by this problem. We tapped on this by simply starting out.

Even though I'm fearful of being by myself…

She had reported the fear to be a 10 out of 10 on her intensity meter and after one tapping round she reported her fear to be about a 5 out of 10. So we tapped again specifically on the fear of being alone in her home,

Even though I still have this last remaining intense fear of being alone in my home…

She went from the 5 to a 3, then her conversation turned to her childhood and growing up in quite a large family of 11.  She recalled someone always being around and never being alone in her home as a child and thought maybe that was the root of the issue since her family now was only a family of five, and during the day everyone was gone.

Then she began to talk to me about her mother and some unrelated (or so she thought) issues about her mom.  I just let her talk knowing that her subconscious was doing the work of bringing up the core issue of her problem.  Sure enough she then told me about her mother passing away when she was a young teenager - Bingo.  I sensed major abandonment issues with her mother's passing and figured this is what was the onset of her fear; so I asked her if she could recall when this fear of being alone began. She couldn't remember.  So we tapped on that for my own curiosity.  I wanted to see if we could pull up a memory for her to determine if my line of thinking was correct.

Even though I can't remember when this fear began…

Still using the basic EFT points, I added in the wrist point and the top of her head.  She reported not really feeling anything different, however she continued to tell me various things about her life since her mother's passing.  These were all memories she told me she didn't remember having before we began tapping. They just began flooding in.

Because I diagnose intuitively I was experiencing various things going on in my body and out of the blue I asked her if she was mad at her mother for leaving her.  That finally broke the ice and she completely surrendered her emotions.  We tapped on anger.

Even though I have this anger at my mother for leaving me…  Her level of intensity went from a 10 to a 9, then to a 7, then to a 3, then to a zero with 5 rounds.

Even though I have this anger at God for taking my mother away…  This went from a 10 to a 5, then to 0 with three rounds.

Even though I have this anger because I haven't completed my grieving process for my mother…This went from a 6 to a 5, then down to a 3 then zero with four rounds.

Even though I won't let go of this fear of being alone until I forgive my mom and God… I forgive myself for blaming my mom.  I know this was out of her control. This seemed to completely go from 10 out of 10 to a zero with one round.

Then we put our efforts toward forgiveness: one for her, one for her mom, one for God and one for her family for having to leave her during the day.

Even though my mother went to be with God when I was very young I deeply and completely love and forgive her.  She went from a 9 to a 5 then to a 0 with three rounds.

Even though God took my mother when I was very young I deeply and completely love and forgive Him.  I know I don't always understand God's ways and I know they are always good. This went from a 10 to an 8 to a 3 to a 0 with four rounds.

Even though I blame others for leaving me I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.  This went from an 8 to a 0 in one round.

Even though my family has to leave the house during the day I deeply and completely love and forgive them.  They are not leaving me, they are leading productive lives.  I am ready to lead a productive life.  This went from a 5 to a 0 in one round.

I continued to work on her wrist point and the top of her head intermittently with the basic EFT points.  She reported a complete release of fear.  She actually physically felt it leave her body.

In the coming months I asked her to check in with me and this is what she reported each time:  Complete joy of working from home in a quiet, peaceful house.  She reported getting more work done in one day then she had done in a month.  She said she actually looked forward to her alone time in her home as she felt peaceful and productive.  She also started remembering different memories of her mom (all wonderful) that she had realized she'd forgotten and felt blessed to have back.

Her business is thriving even in these challenging times, and she even managed to get rid of the lock jaw problem she had for years that caused her immense pain and had no idea was related to all of this stuff with her mother.

FYI: I'm finding more and more that I'm leaving out the 9-Gamut Procedure, or modifying it with just the simple eye movements associated with the 9-Gamut when the client is sticking at a low level (1 to 2) on their intensity meter.  I've had some great success with these eye movements while keeping the clients "engaged" or "tapped in" to their issue.  Along with asking the client to close their eyes then open their eyes, I ask them to follow my finger starting directly in front of them and moving it slowly, asking them to follow with their eyes only, first going to the right as far as their eyesight will allow them to go then moving slowly back to center and to the left as far as their eyesight will allow them to go and then back to center.  This movement engages both sides of the brain much like the humming and counting in the regular 9-Gamut procedure.

I then go back into the tapping as if I've completed the 9-Gamut the way it's normally instructed.  This is just something I've deviated from naturally and found it to be successful in the majority of my cases.




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