Core Issues

Using the Palace of Possibilities to uncover core issues

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Hi Everyone,

Marian Mills from the UK borrows one of the concepts from The Palace of Possibilities (namely, the "tail enders" that occur after an affirmation) to point to vital core issues. This is a widely useful tool that will apply to many difficult cases. Study it well.

Hugs, Gary


By Marian Mills

Dear Gary

I’ve been using EFT for a couple of years now and am liking it more and more.  Mostly it works easily and quickly, for which I and my clients are extremely grateful.  Sometimes, though, it seems not to work.  Here is a way I found to work with a client’s resistance, and have since successfully used the technique with myself too.

GC COMMENT: After years of experience, I have developed the belief that EFT always works. If it "doesn't work" that is because we have not found the real issue yet. This belief may not be 100% true but it IS very useful. Why? Because it often leads me to profound healing instead of giving up too soon.

I had been working with this client for a while and she was feeling very frustrated and disheartened.  She had done so much work with EFT yet still wasn’t getting any real remission of her symptoms.  We’d spent most of the session going over old ground again, around in circles, until finally I hit on an idea.  It was as if there was a no entry sign in front of an issue. We talked about it for a while, and agreed that we had looked into it before and dealt with many of the related specific incidents in the past. Yet I had an intuition that there was some resistance and that the real feelings still hadn’t been accessed by the usual approach.

So I decided to use the technique Gary uses for tail enders. We made the problem itself an affirmation.  It is OK for me to be dependent on others.

This quickly brought up a lot of the tail enders and the fears that she just didn’t want to face.

Even though I’m scared to be dependent on others…

Even though I can’t trust anyone to look after me…

Even though I have to be strong for my children’s sake…

Even though I’m afraid of being let down…

Even though I’m scared of not being in control of my life…

Even though I would feel trapped if I had to depend on others…

Even though my parents made such a bad job of looking after me, maybe this doesn’t mean that everyone else would…

We applied the same approach to some of these statements too, so I asked her to affirm:

It is OK for me to be let down and It is OK for me to not be able to control my life.

From this we eventually discovered some more specific safety and security incidents from childhood and could then tap on them too.  Sometimes, I think that we may add an unconscious subtext to the standard setup phrase, and it goes something like this:

Even though I have [this problem] and I feel really uncomfortable with it, I am tapping so that it will go away, because I really don’t accept myself with it at all and just want it to go.

I have found that resistance is far less common when working with EFT.  However, we can all unconsciously avoid the very feelings we need to target with EFT from time to time.  It’s like we don’t see them or look in the wrong direction. And we certainly aren’t deeply or completely accepting of ourselves.  We make up some very good reasons why they’re not to be tapped on or there is simply no emotional intensity.  By affirming the state we don’t want as something positive, we can bring more of the fears to the surface.

Gratefully,
Marian Mills

 

 

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