- Articles & Ideas
- Being Specific
- The importance of being specific in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Find Early Specific Events
- How to apply EFT when there are no clear, specific memories to tap on
- Tapping on specific events without knowing what they are
- What to do when you can't find your own specific events or issues
- Two cases: (1) Being Specific and (2) Being General
- EFT for the Soul - global versus specific approaches
- How to collapse multiple SPECIFIC EVENTS in one Borrowing Benefits session
- EFT for a bashful bladder - a beautiful example of going for SPECIFIC EVENTS
- Ann Adams on BEING SPECIFIC
- Using NLP to Chunk Down for specifics in an EFT session
- Breathing problems, surrogate tapping, depression and Try it on Everything
- Surrogate tapping on an "Entity"
- After trying a different approach for Surrogate EFT, a crying baby quiets down
- Successful Surrogate EFT for Seizures
- Surrogate tapping on a sneezing attack, Successful use of EFT on a raspy throat AND arm wrestling success using only two fingers.
- Surrogate EFT relieves baby
- Some thoughts about surrogate (remote) EFT
- Resolving a family fight with surrogate EFT
- Surrogate tapping and collarbone breathing
- Helping Helpers: Using Surrogate EFT for Emergencies
- Surrogate tapping for terrorists
- Surrogate EFT Taken Another Step - Clearing Ancestral (Foundational) Issues
- Surrogate EFT for Chronic Pulmonary Obstruction Disorder
- Surrogate/distance tapping for Cassie the dog
- "Seeing" disrupted energy enhances mental (surrogate) tapping
- Solid motivation to use Surrogate EFT
- Surrogate EFT arrests a grand mal seizure
- Beth's Stalker Problem Resolved with Surrogate EFT
- Successful surrogate tapping for schizophrenic son
- Surrogate EFT to help patients going through medical procedures
- Responses to questions on surrogate muscle testing
- Simple uses of Surrogate EFT during every day conversations
- What to do in the hospital
- A surrogate EFT Teddy Bear became a special friend for a housebound woman
- Surrogate EFT substantially aids incontinence, anger, dementia and hearing loss.
- Skeptic of surrogate EFT becomes a believer
- Surrogate tapping stops serious nose bleed
- Surrogate EFT -- "The pain is leaving now through my fingertips."
- How to do Intentional (or Surrogate) EFT--a 4 Part Series
- Using surrogate EFT for easing a courtroom testimony
- A followup after a surrogate session in Albuquerque--Betsy's impressive results
- A touching story: Easing Mary's death through surrogate EFT
- For procrastination: The "Feel the Feeling" Technique
- Creative Uses of The EFT Movie Technique
- Living your Dreams with The Hero Technique
- The Gratitude Diet - A Thanksgiving Technique
- Time and Reframing: An Easy Technique that Generates Fast Results
- The benefits of describing EFT as a relaxation technique
- Discovering "core scenes"
- A short version of the Collar Bone Breathing Technique
- Stepping back from the movie in the EFT Movie Technique
- Turning the Movie Technique into a cartoon helps with Dysautonomia episode
- EFT and the Double Bubble technique: Or how to successfully deal with chronic issues!
- Variations on EFT's Movie Technique
- Doing the EFT Constricted Breathing Technique a few times a day increased Paul
- The "Let it be Easy" Technique
- Everyday EFT to Create a Fabulous Life--The Emotional Joy Technique
- The Argument Tapping Technique
- Doing the EFT Movie Technique in slow motion -- getting to important and otherwise hidden aspects
- The Stepping into Neutral Technique
- The "Tap while you Gripe" Technique
- The EFT Imagineering Technique
- Gwyneth Moss's Imagineering Technique for Endometriosis
- The "Turbo-Tapping" Technique
- The Bundling Movie Technique for gently addressing long term abuse cases
- Refusal Tapping Technique
- The Volcano Technique
- The Movie Technique for kinesthetic learners
- Behind the Scenes of the Movie Technique
- Soft language to ease The EFT Set-Up Phrases
- Ideas for enhancing the standard EFT Setup
- How do I choose the phrases to use while doing EFT?
- A New Way to Use the
- A useful EFT phrase--"Reclaiming" all our possibilities
- How Do You Know What To Say For an EFT Setup Phrase?
- Testing our work and personal radiation
- Useful ways to expand the EFT Set-up Phrase
- Using "It's In Here" in the EFT Setup phrase
- Touch And Breathe--TAB Paper
- Using the 9 Gamut Procedure when emotion gets "stuck in the right brain"
- Jarrod Bailey from Australia experiments with EFT Setup Phrases and explains his findings
- Injecting "want to" into the EFT Setup language
- EFT Imagineering cleared lungs and improved breathing
- Tapping on both sides of the body, on feel-good points only, then taking deep breaths after each point
- The advantages of using the 9 Gamut Procedure
- EFT to clear chakras and increase vibration
- Using the EFT setup statement as a a pledge
- Dr. Carol Look discusses the importance of testing in EFT
- Effectively using "What if" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- A creative way to develop EFT Setup statements
- Testing your EFT work - The
- Adding muscle testing to EFT
- Ideas on Muscle Testing, EFT and Developing Intuition
- Why do we use negatives in the EFT setup statement?
- Gwyneth Moss on Reality Testing
- The Alternate Phrase Technique--tapping on both sides of a conflict.
- Developing self compassion with persistent EFT
- The 3-2-1 process: untangling yourself from others
- Mary Hunt on Intuition: Getting yourself out of the way.
- Thoughts on Surrogate EFT and "getting yourself out of the way"
- Frances Songhurst finally gets a rapid result for herself
- Tapping on one's self talk--a great idea for collapsing our "inner critic"
- EFT helps a man look people in the eye
- Karen's thoughts on self forgiveness
- Freeing our "Critical Mind" into Self Acceptance with EFT
- Using "I love THAT about myself" in the EFT process
- Anja shares her self-healing process
- Getting the most out of self-help books with EFT
- Self sabotage-healing the parts that don
- EFT gives relief to a self-cutter by first finding emotional causes
- Give Yourself a Gift by Creating an EFT Journal
- Resolving childhood issues with EFT increases compassion for self
- Billy McCombie self applies EFT for an impressive list of benefits
- S-L-O-W EFT for self help on broad issues
- When self acceptance becomes a problem...
- EFT for relief from feeling responsible for everyone else before taking care of self
- Tapping for negative self-talk - "I am unable to step out of it"
- Paradoxes in validating one's Self
- EFT improves self esteem
- Rue Hass on "I deeply and completely accept myself"
- The role of self-punishment in Dis-ease
- Steve Wells series on EFT and Self-Acceptance--Part 1 of 4--(subsequent parts given below)
- A Complex Case - Doubts and Self-empowerment - The Return of Hair and more
- Julie Howard uses EFT for being hard on herself
- EFT As a Conversation With Yourself
- Self acceptance without judgment
- EFT for Self Confidence
- EFT for the lingering effects of a brain tumor from 12 years before
- Surrogate EFT for Yourself
- Self Image: An insightful look at the "Writings on our Walls"
- Helping clients by using "Meta Programs"
- EFT Successfully Collapses Childhood Beliefs About Food -- Client Stops Overeating
- Enhancing the life of Burak -- a Down Syndrome client
- Using EFT for the client who feels bad about herself
- 8 tips for building your EFT practice with email newsletters
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 4 of 7
- EFT Clients!
- Kinetic tremor disappears as Turkish MD addresses client's emotional issues
- 7 Step pre-tapping checklist for client work
- When the client won't speak about the issue
- EFT from a CLIENT'S POINT OF VIEW
- Hair dresser helps client raise her arm - The salon clients cheered
- How to search for an EFT Practitioner
- The client who is "Never Good Enough" and The Brick Wall Technique
- Doing EFT for the client that is afraid to get started
- How this therapist uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and EFT together
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 5 of 7
- Improving results with dissociated clients
- What Questions Should You Ask When Seeking An EFT Practitioner?
- Thoughts on following your EFT intuition with clients
- Dr. Pat Carrington's "EFT At Work In A Hospital" Series
- Client has Somatic Release that involved shaking in a seizure-like fashion
- How to Build Your EFT Practice by Leveraging Your Biggest Resource
- Physical therapy like it should be--dramatic improvements in a rehab center
- When clients get overwhelmed or frustrated with EFT
- When clients can
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 6 of 7
- Tips for when clients have difficulty accessing their feelings
- EFT Speeds Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy: Irene Mitchell Update
- How To Tell In Advance Whether An EFT Practitioner Has Sufficient Skill in EFT
- How to use EFT when the client won't reveal the issue
- Curtis Steele, MD shares his thoughts and experiences using EFT in a psychiatric practice
- Good reasons for using an EFT Practitioner
- Ingrid Dinter's Box Technique for helping a client wind down when time is running out in a session
- EFT used to calm down a client during a severe seizure episode
- Working through the pain and fear in the midst of divorce
- EFT'er encourages clients to find their favorite EFT points
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 7 of 7
- The Emotional Scale in EFT Practice
- Hearing voices and multiple issues relieved: "One session of EFT does more for me than years of [conventional] therapy ever could."
- Is Your Chosen EFT Practitioner Really Helping You?
- Some thoughts about doing EFT with multilingual clients
- What stops clients from pursuing their dreams?
- Surrogate EFT used to calm down a bi-polar client
- Why see an EFT practitioner?
- Fitting EFT within the client's belief system
- Limiting beliefs may limit your EFT practice
- Making A Great Impression With Your New EFT Client
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola - Part 1 of 7
- EFT with a schizophrenic client
- A detailed EFT oriented session via email for a client with serious issues
- The Pros and Cons of EFT Telephone Therapy
- Did EFT help Gayla's client reduce the blockage in his arteries?
- Surrogate EFT brings calming effect to Schizophrenic client
- Yet another impressive use of Surrogate EFT--this time an audience sends the client out of the room and taps for her
- The Many Factors Affecting Client Motivation and Follow Through
- If the client starts shaking...
- If your client believes that the world is run by a red elephant....
- What to do when your client is beset by an "evil monster"
- Using EFT to create positive self beliefs for a client who deems herself "not good enough"
- 4 Part Series on Helping Clients with their 0-10 Accuracy
- Psychosis: Hearing Voices--EFT achieves more in one session than 13 years of medications and traditional therapy.
- Karen Donaldson Highlights Some "Slimming Down" Successes With Her Clients -- Many Side Issues Explored
- Adding EFT to conventional talk therapy
- EFT aids an "energy sensitive" client
- Criminal defense attorney uses EFT to help innocent client during cross-examination
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 2 of 7
- EFT and Time Line Therapy helps 92 year old man live in the now
- How do I use EFT for the client who has many, many, many severe issues?
- Listening to this client's words led to a surprising core issue
- Successful Surrogate EFT for a Cerebral Palsy client
- Profuse bleeding stops even though client was on Coumadin (blood thinner)
- Shaking Off Negative Client Energies Between Sessions
- An answer as to why some clients do not tap even when they know EFT will help them?
- Two successes where the client surrogate taps for other people--everyone benefits
- Tips to consider when you have had "incomplete success" with an EFT client
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola Part 3
- Do you attract clients that want everything for free?
- When should you consult an EFT Practitioner?
- The Apex Effect -- client cannot even remember the details of her former problem
- Dr. Patricia Carrington's use of "Choices" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Rebecca Marina's 10 steps to building a prosperous EFT practice
- When The Client Wishes To Maintain Privacy
- Core Issues
- A surprising core issue behind business call reluctance
- Using the Palace of Possibilities to uncover core issues
- The "Audio Technique" for getting to core issues
- A clever way to find core issues
- Eliminating Hot Flashes With EFT Tapping -- Surprising Core Issues
- Tracing core issues back to the birth process
- Blending Redecision Therapy with EFT--a creative way to uncover core issues
- Iris finds her own core issue
- Getting To Feelings And Core Issues By Imagining You Are Writing A Story - A Version Of The EFT Tell The Story Technique
- An Impressive Search For EFT Core Issues -- Asking The Right Questions
- The "7 Whys" method for getting to core issues
- When "insignificant" childhood events are the real core issues
- In Search Of An Elusive EFT Core Issue
- Finding An EFT Core Issue -- "But What Did He Give You?"
- A self questioning method for getting to your core issues
- An extraordinary account of tapping on a prenatal core issue -- or how to change a life in moments
- Finding and Dealing with Core Events
- Barbara shares an insightful way to find core issues
- An excellent question to help find core issues
- Collapsing the core issues of procrastination with EFT
- A classic case for finding a core issue
- Finding core issues when someone is emotionally flat lining
- The core issue behind Carl's inability to "perform"
- A clever method for finding core issues
- Obsession with having affairs ends after finding the core issue
- Why Cathy didn't enjoy Christmas--an embarrassing core event
- Using Tail Enders to find core issues
- A Useful Way To Find Core Issues In The EFT Process
- Ilana Weiler uses the 7 Whys method for getting to core issues
- MD resolves arm weakness problem by relieving an emotional core issue
- Two examples where core issues show up during an EFT session
- Relative Newbie's First Major Tapping Toe Stub - Foot Pain Issue
- Newbie quiets her daughter
- Doing EFT for a newcomer without having to explain it
- Easy and Effective EFT for Newcomers
- Newbie has great results with persistent hiccoughs!
- Borrowing Benefits newcomer details impressive success
- EFT Newcomer Helps Her Daughter Relieve Constipation
- Quality advice for EFT Newbies
- How watching the EFT DVDs helped a nausea case
- EFT newbie successfully surrogates for her dying plant
- A newbie with 6 rounds of EFT eliminates her bladder infection pain
- Two Newcomer EFT Tapping Successes: Fainting And Shyness
- A newbie dropped pounds at a time she usually gained
- Using EFT
- Using EFT for Abundance releases limiting beliefs
- Using EFT to rejuvenate a withered plant
- Using EFT for Procrastination
- Marielle discovers a lifetime core issue while using EFT for a bad cough
- Using EFT for the side effects of Medications
- Using EFT for feeling like a failure
- Using EFT for cerebral palsy
- Using EFT for emphysema
- Using EFT to build emotional strength in overwhelming circumstances
- Using EFT for Menopause, Hot flashes and Chills
- Using EFT for Scleroderma
- Using EFT for preventing illness
- Using EFT for Self-Confidence in a specific area
- Using EFT for overcoming procrastination
- Personal Pleasure Procedure - Using EFT to improve your romantic life
- Using EFT for a double ankle sprain
- Using EFT to advance your business
- Using EFT for world crises
- Using EFT for clearing poltergeist energy
- After using EFT, Paul's 84 year old mum recovered very quickly from a surgical operation
- Using EFT for a choking emergency
- Using EFT to neutralize "family differences"
- Using EFT to release the pain of saying goodbye
- Using EFT for clearing clutter and organizing your life
- Using EFT to increase blood platelet count--an article with far reaching implications
- Using EFT for old and frail people
- Easy stress reducer using EFT with statements like, "The world is conspiring in my favor"
- 11 year old girl finds lost cell phone using EFT
- Using EFT for our illiterate and semi-literate brothers and sisters
- Using EFT for struggling students with ADD
- Using EFT to Trade the Market
- A successful case of using EFT for candida yeast infections
- Persistence worked when using EFT at the first signs of a cold
- Using EFT for an ailing pony
- Using EFT for wrinkles - An alternative to Botox?
- Using EFT to overcome the resistance to exercise
- Using EFT while you are in an argument
- Using EFT for Chronic Problems
- Heaviness in both legs disappears after using EFT on "These Growing Pains"
- Some thoughts on using EFT for personal peace
- Using EFT for the Holidays
- Using EFT for Poison Ivy
- Using EFT over the phone for on-the-spot issues
- Thoughts on using EFT for procrastination
- Using EFT for "Everything is my fault!"
- A guy thing: Tips on using EFT for male ED
- Using EFT for Tachycardia
- Using EFT for Chemotherapy symptoms
- An encouraging example of using EFT for Crohn's Disease
- Using EFT for Alzheimer's disease
- Many benefits in 3 months using EFT's Personal Peace Procedure
- Using EFT for Muscular Dystrophy
- Some tips when using EFT by yourself
- Using EFT to bring up core memories
- Using EFT for Herpes
- Using EFT on Asperger
- How to Handle Self Sabotage by Using EFT
- Using EFT from pre-birth to the present
- Using EFT to enhance persuasion skills
- Using EFT with our "internal parents"
- Using EFT for spiritual issues
- Using EFT to Create
- Success by using EFT while reading our Newsletter articles
- A subtle, yet powerful self-image benefit from using EFT
- Suggestions for using EFT with a Mother
- Using EFT to avert an amputation
- A method for using EFT regarding the "difficult people" in your life.
- Using EFT to relieve a cold sore (Herpes HSV-1)
- Using EFT to learn foreign language pronunciation
- Specific couple techniques using EFT
- Using EFT for Jet Lag--even with 4 time changes
- Using EFT to manifest your goal more easily
- Using EFT with a Skeptic
- Using EFT for Premature Ejaculation
- Using EFT with computers, web-cameras and microphones
- Using EFT to cut "energetic cords" of attachment to people
- Using EFT for Goal Setting
- Using EFT for motivation to exercise
- Using EFT to avoid tears while chopping onions
- Using EFT to reclaim our personal power
- Using EFT for inanimate objects may point to your own issues
- Using EFT in singing lessons
- Using EFT to Enhance Bedroom Romance
- Using EFT to find (and collapse) a limiting belief
- Using EFT for mother issues
- Using EFT for Plantar Fasciitis
- Using EFT with a Survivor of Domestic Violence
- Using EFT to better enjoy certain foods and expand sensory experience
- Using EFT for forgiveness
- Using EFT with A Course in Miracles teachings
- Using EFT for racial prejudice
- Lifelong car sickness disappears--but only after using EFT on the real issue
- Using EFT to bring us back into balance during challenging situations
- Using EFT for a clogged ear
- Follow up on "Using EFT to avert an amputation"
- Using EFT for Trigeminal Neuralgia
- Using EFT for changing habits and more
- Q & A Series on using EFT
- Using EFT to start the day
- Passing a driving test using EFT - a case with many aspects
- Using EFT for your Biggest Problem
- Ideas for those using EFT to further their own personal development
- Using EFT on imaginary parts
- Classic case of using EFT for the child within
- Using EFT for Dreamwork
- Using EFT for Marathon Training and difficult things to do
- Using EFT when a specific word triggers you
- Using EFT to support the In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) process
- Using EFT to regain Laurence's sense of taste.
- Big benefits from using EFT on an "irrelevant memory"
- Tips and strategies for using EFT with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
- Using EFT to reduce our judgment of others
- Using EFT in the Emergency Room: Raging bladder infection subsides
- Using EFT with a dementia patient: A touching story
- Using EFT over the phone
- Using EFT for bothersome noises
- Using EFT to easily learn another language
- Benefits of using EFT in a cardiac group
- Tapping on TREEs -- a metaphor for using EFT
- Using EFT for the "Grey Life Syndrome"
- Using EFT to resolve issues in your dreams
- Using EFT with massage
- Using EFT within a unique form of meditation
- Using EFT for a stroke and other issues -- In praise of the 9-gamut procedure
- Using EFT to eliminate recurring dreams
- Using EFT for Self-Doubt
- Using EFT to say Good-Bye to a dying person
- Using EFT to release "the decision to be miserable"
- Using EFT for the Inner Child
- Many successes doing
- Jo Huntsman takes EFT into her own hands and has success with Lupus like symptoms
- A metaphor for introducing EFT
- EFT in a plane for scary facial paralysis - a doctor on board said it was Bell
- EFT enhances the "Artist's Way" work
- Do we need to heal the past so that we can move into the future?
- Are you getting the most out of EFT?
- The benefits of tapping along with our DVDs--core memories uncovered
- Allowing EFT to come THROUGH you rather than BY you
- How to know when the healing is done
- Clearing past issues from the walls of our mind
- The ABC approach to EFT
- Ideas for winding up EFT sessions
- Metaphors, Humour and EFT
- Use EFT when you are afraid to speak up
- Success via tapping on a two-sided conflict
- Validating EFT with Neurofeedback
- Did EFT clear a 90% blocked artery?
- After 9 years suffering with polycystic ovary syndrome, Jenn finds relief with EFT
- EFT for forgetting lines in a school play
- EFT for calming while being strapped down on a hospital gurney
- Acupuncturist uses EFT and eliminates her own shingles in three days
- For those who have difficulty telling left from right
- Marketing EFT as a business--Cultivating important Centers of Influence (COI)
- Learning, intelligence and "emotional static"
- Psychiatric Nurse gives pointers for dealing with severe emotional disorders
- Thoughts on an emergency tapping point
- The value of taking dead aim at the negatives
- Circumcision at the root of writer's block
- The Salesman who didn't want to cold call
- Try EFT on everything--even an oncoming fainting spell
- EFT helps an 8 year old with a concussion
- Am I a failure at EFT if there is no miracle?
- Surprising insights than can occur while tapping
- Healing families with EFT - a historical approach
- A physicist speaks
- Why couldn't Jason make a simple decision?
- A New Way to Express Gratitude with EFT
- Resolving many impediments to a satisfactory "bedroom experience"
- Sometimes slowing down EFT can provide quality benefits
- MD uses EFT to clear many issues in 15 minutes
- A simple way to handle Shingles -- no drugs involved
- EFT for severe MSG reaction
- Finding the real issues behind what appeared to be a "Bedroom Romance" problem
- Clever use of EFT clears issues for baby, mother and grandmother - follow-up included
- Did Mary
- Calming effects of EFT during an emergency on an airplane
- EFT brings benefits for leaky gut syndrome and ASD (a form of autism)
- EFT clears nausea - but not in the expected way
- Stronger orgasms with EFT
- Persistence and EFT homework help a woman embrace her femininity
- A quality use of our Borrowing Benefits DVDs
- Some thoughts on secondary gains - and what to do about them
- Including the word
- EFT improves hearing by 25%
- Successful EFT without knowing the details
- Psychiatrist gets to the real reason his patient couldn't say "NO"
- An EFT Meditation
- Critical Questioning While Doing EFT
- MD uses EFT to treat Sjogren
- Susan de Tarr eliminates her 54 year old motion sickness in 10 minutes
- How to convince an entire audience about EFT
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Emotion and Perception: EFT makes it a two way street
- EFT on an inanimate object: The car that wouldn't start
- Combining EFT with Humor
- EFT helps remove "stuck ring"
- Key Concepts in Mastering EFT
- Borrowing Benefits in the Criminal Justice System
- The "proper words" to use for the EFT Set-up Statement
- Borrowing Benefits hastens the healing of mystery thumb sores
- Breaking habits
- Relaxing a dying man
- We are babes crawling on the floor of the Universe
- Making EFT a routine
- Using "Inner Dialogues" with EFT
- EFT relieves an unusual
- How I grew my bustline with EFT
- An 8 year old boy with very strange eating habits finds a new menu with EFT
- Jeff Lipnick uses EFT to keep from blacking out
- EFT, ED and related bedroom issues
- Daily tapping lowers blood sugar
- Borrowing Benefits while watching The EFT Course
- Who do YOU think you are?
- Headache relief over the phone
- Claude improves his fishing
- Using humor with EFT
- How to handle a "vague feeling" with EFT
- Eight Easy Ways to Remember to Do EFT
- Tapping to improve your intuition
- The acute sinusitis case that wouldn't budge until....
- It's never too late to clear useless childhood beliefs
- EFT for the emotional aspects of a Cesarean Section
- Ten steps to changing your limiting responses to a falling economy
- EFT for stammering
- Dr. Barr used EFT after cutting off the tip of his thumb
- Judi thinks that doing EFT for others helped her - winning in Las Vegas
- Borrowing Benefits with EFT improves communication at a committee meeting
- Thoughts about inheriting illness from our ancestors
- Twelve years of facial numbness eliminated with 2 rounds of EFT
- A Lesson in EFT Intuition--Letting it flow through you
- EFT brings relief for ALS
- How to tell others about EFT
- Some thoughts on when to use "I choose" vs. "I prefer"
- EFT for changing entrenched habits
- Experts point to dramatic changes in brain waves as a result of EFT
- Continuous tapping resolves an intense abreaction
- Did 20 minutes of EFT straighten bones that had knitted improperly 50 years before?
- EFT and the right to be happy
- EFT for feeling unqualified to be successful
- EFT relieves a case of the Hiccups
- EFT for facing those who caused you pain
- Did EFT bring this man out of a coma?
- "It was impossible for the testicle to descend on its own."
- The Merits of Daily Tapping
- Is it safe to change?
- Processing your life's key words with EFT
- Brain dumping with EFT to get started on global issues
- EFT helps salesman double his sales
- An EFT Procrastination case
- From a 38 B to a 38 D/DD while losing 20 pounds
- Thoughts on Psychological Reversal from Rue Hass -- with an ADD example
- Gratitude tapping
- EFT in Kenya
- Are you suppressing your EFT talents?
- EFT as a cure for boredom
- Improving intimate moments with EFT
- Dispersing 50 years worth of suppressed emotion
- A brief heat exhaustion case
- Messages from an oven
- How Dawn Norton used EFT to collapse her own "horror" issue
- Five-for-one benefits from an introductory EFT group
- Wisdom from Mair Llewellyn regarding the "Writing on our Walls"
- Incorporating EFT into Corporate Programs
- EFT -- a quality aid for Shingles
- Strong correlation found between EFT and Dr. Emoto's work with water
- EFT and The Power of Reframing
- EFT and insights (cognitive change)
- Giving more meaning to the 0-10 intensity rating
- MD Applies EFT to Successfully Relieve Urethral Pain
- Borrowing Benefits: My Jury has returned with a verdict
- How to Identify and Correct Psychological Reversals
- Dr. Carol Look's Top 10 Tapping Tips
- How do I introduce EFT to skeptics? (Building Bridges to Believability)
- Why do people resist EFT?
- What would happen if this problem wasn't there any more?
- Thoughts on resolving difficult physical problems
- A unique way to expand EFT
- EFT removes a pesky "phantom itch"
- Tips for conducting intensive EFT sessions -- a several day case regarding Bulimia
- Create acceptance of your life with EFT
- Clearing a food aversion in 5 minutes
- What would appear to be the main issue may not be so
- How long should the flu last?
- EFT for making your voice stronger
- A new kind of mosquito relief?
- Try fork bending with EFT
- A clever approach to finding core memories
- An adventure within the Palace of Possibilities
- Injured toe gains relief using two important EFT concepts
- Sarah Jordan makes progress after realizing a childhood need
- Aiming EFT at our Future
- What to do when the "Bedroom Spark" goes out
- Tap on experiences that are stuck in parts of your body
- The young woman who kept quitting her jobs
- How to create empowering reframes (seeing things differently) with EFT
- Praise for tapping along with the EFT DVDs
- EFT for a spider (and mosquito) bite
- EFT helps Elaine learn the clarinet at 50
- Two stories to create a bridge between your audience and EFT
- Two cases: Putting on needed pounds with EFT & Holding water for an ultrasound
- Mom doing EFT for autistic son yields enormous changes in one month
- A touching story about Michael, his ailing aunt and EFT
- Letting intuition flow with EFT
- A lesson in "letting go"
- Can we learn to be grateful no matter what?
- Improve your EFT sessions by waking up your senses
- Severe lung congestion clears with persistent daily EFT
- Was prostate cancer really the cause of Sam's Low Libido?
- EFT for the Sensitive Person -- Awakening the Wild Pony Within
- EFT helps release nervousness before an important meeting
- Impressive results with autism
- Releasing chaotic behavior through EFT
- EFT hat dance
- Deserving to live -- an intense memory resolved
- EFT helps with hair loss, facial blemishes, hay fever, smoking and PMS
- Expert gives us an inside look at Group EFT
- Baerbel Borrows Benefits in her own EFT group and dissolves her creative blocks
- When EFT Doesn't Seem to Work
- Motion sickness averted through "Chasing the Pain."
- More on EFT and Reframing by Tania Prince
- Consistent and Impressive results from EFT group work
- Gordon was in a psychiatric hospital for two years and was released two weeks after one EFT session
- How feelings in the body are related to emotional clearing
- EFT for the Inner Child
- EFT for food poisoning
- Two cases of doing EFT in public without looking silly
- Improving romantic openness and enjoyment with EFT
- EFT for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - "You can't make me!"
- EFT brings beauty to a hospice setting
- EFT collapses competing thoughts and thus aids The Law of Attraction
- How to transform disappointment into gratitude
- EFT Question Tapping
- Helping a 97 year old man to die peacefully
- Successful EFT phone work makes major shifts for overwhelmed mother
- Finding the root of the problem
- Thoughts on dealing with corporations
- MD provides secretary with "The Incredible Shrinking Hemorrhoids"
- Lindsay Kenny answers Frequently Asked Questions about EFT
- About Voice Technology...
- EFT and sex
- A "Hard to Swallow" case
- Healing the "Missing Mother Syndrome" with EFT
- Borrowing Benefits from Sacramento to the United Kingdom
- Quadriplegic feels "bubbles" during EFT session
- When you are in traffic and REALLY have to pee....
- Many benefits from watching our EFT-Beyond the Basics DVDs
- Technical evidence of the link between emotional causes and physical ailments
- Borrowing Benefits and an Acute Respiratory Disorder
- Attracting Abundance by Shifting Your Energy
- Rapid Relief for Herpes
- Peak Performance Series
- A solid "Doing Business with EFT" idea from Rebecca Marina
- Emphatic EFT dramatically shifts many things--use this on stubborn issues
- EFT for eliminating barriers to our psychic abilities (and intuition)
- Using onomatopoeias with EFT
- Roxy gets multiple "Bedroom O's" with EFT
- EFT for severe cerebral palsy
- Rue Hass blends EFT with the wisdom of
- A woman with scoliosis finds balance with EFT - follow-up included
- EFT and Ho'oponopono
- Blood improves after a few minutes of EFT
- Thoughts on mental tapping and reframing
- Tapping back your sense of taste when you have a cold or flu
- Feeling and observing emotions
- EFT engages inner child to relieve indigestion (dyspepsia).
- Eric no longer hears voices
- EFT assists Polio patient
- EFT for eliminating hiccups changes a skeptic
- EFT eases nausea
- EFT is helpful when you are afraid to speak up in bed
- How racism can lead to health problems and what to do about it
- EFT helps a Premature Ejaculation (PE) problem
- Laura Orchard uses EFT during a dream
- Bedroom frustration resolved - including follow-ups
- Suzanne Lerner gives her thoughts on diagnosis
- Building confidence and releasing the inner critic
- Nothing in my traditional medical training in Anatomy, Physiology or Pathology even hinted at what I am now witnessing (with EFT) - Chuck Gebhardt, MD
- More successful cases from Dr. Eric Robins
- Can EFT tele-classes cause problems for some participants?
- EFT approaches for "Loose Ligaments" that can apply to countless other issues
- Asking good questions to elicit tappable issues
- EFT for elderly people who stuff their feelings
- EFT with hypnosis provides long term benefits for abandonment issue
- Have you noticed the important feedback you get while doing EFT?
- Leslie Anne Lackman successfully uses humor and takes aim at neuropeptides
- EFT for disliking someone shifts resentments to acceptance -- a major result
- Combining EFT with Dialoguing for impressive results
- Did Karen
- EFT for those who grind their teeth
- Healing the wounded Inner Child with EFT
- EFT after a horrible nightmare
- 25 Ways to be a Fantastic Therapist
- Knocking down the negative walls to let the garden grow - a tale of fertility
- Using movies to enhance and test our work.
- When Your Intensity Level Goes UP Instead Of Down With EFT
- Combining EFT with Timelines
- 10 minutes of EFT put 10 years of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) to rest
- EFT stops a blood blister from forming
- Taking the edge off intense emotions--Putting them in a box and tapping on them
- Tapping with good photos and bad photos
- Improving the ability to laugh with EFT
- A tapping song
- EFT on autopilot
- EFT resolves limiting childhood beliefs
- Medical transcriptionist says that in thousands of serious medical cases, she never saw a cure for anyone
- A short woman no longer feels intimidated around tall people after one EFT session
- Tapping along with a prayer
- Improve your success rate by asking the right questions
- Interview with Gary regarding EFT and yeast problems
- I simply could not dance with Gary!!
- This is simply priceless to a mother of a 16 year old
- A Useful Method for "Private Tapping"
- Why do we sometimes avoid tapping?
- Resolving emotional causes for erectile dysfunction
- EFT substantially aids swallowing problem
- Methods for working with pain
- Borrowing Benefits for a seemingly unrelated issue
- Questions on PR as well as possible dangers. (Other responses follow)
- Tuning in to the problem
- EFT in Daily Life
- Cold Calling: "I'm a second-class citizen, and I have to keep my mouth shut!"
- It is your response that counts.
- An MD successfully uses EFT on a Hiatal Hernia and Candidiasis
- Technical article: Influencing peptides with EFT
- Can You Influence Another Person To Use EFT If They Are Reluctant To Do So?
- EFT for faulty beliefs
- EFT and Reframing using Counter-Examples
- What do you do for friends who incessantly bend your ear while venting their problems?
- EFT for people who go blank when asked to speak
- EFT for sciatica and a 6 year old wounded thumb
- EFT helps a young musician stop shaking
- Tapping with a poem as inspiration
- EFT helps a boy who has many health challenges
- Barb St. Dennis had severe Hepatitis C but now has completely normal blood tests
- Using a metaphor to handle stubborn emotional issues
- Treating negative beliefs with EFT
- Who do YOU think you are?
- An EFT method for installing new behaviors
- Two ways to use EFT for Restless Leg Syndrome
- Did EFT cure Lupus?
- Insights on Borrowing Benefits with EFT
- Hearing the energy shift while doing EFT
- A clever combination of tapping and visualization
- Introducing EFT to kids by way of their "magic fingers"
- EFT for Celiac disease -- no symptoms for 4 months and counting
- EFT and "being the bee"
- EFT helps a serious infection - the redness subsides before their eyes
- EFT for the mental game of poker
- Methods for getting to deep issues, even in a group setting
- Using silent tapping in cases where speaking out loud is too loony
- Taking "The Secret" for a walk with EFT
- Removing the blocks to your goals with EFT
- Manifesting the life of your dreams with EFT
- Can EFT be used to manifest what you want in your life?
- Inner Child Expert uses EFT for her own healing
- Symptoms quickly fade for a child with a Bi-Polar Diagnosis
- The "Gratitude for My Mistakes" method
- Professional writer uses EFT to overcome writer's block
- EFT helps a bullied woman stay at her job
- Talking to Christians About EFT
- Warming up to "cold calls" with EFT
- An interesting way to do EFT in a group
- EFT for discomfort with networking - an interesting solution
- The Value of Matching and Pacing Belief Systems in Group Training
- Do you have difficulty receiving positive feelings from others?
- A Conversation With Your Body
- EFT provides benefits using Future Tapping
- A New Moment in Science -- useful EFT article for distribution
- What the Bleep do We Know about EFT?
- Curse words aid the clearing of emotional issues
- The Human Brain and Law of Attraction: Optimizing Brain Function with EFT
- Try a motivational Power Hour to improve your business
- Let it be easy
- Banishing the Barriers to having a thriving EFT business
- How to handle emotions about the cheating spouse
- Cascade tapping
- EFT turned Masha into a runner - an interesting side effect
- 200 people watch as EFT improves Range of Motion for a Nurse's arm
- Blending NLP with EFT
- More thoughts about stopping colds with EFT
- MD uses EFT for common colds and canker sores
- Rhythm, Pulse & Percussion In Tapping Treatments
- A clever "Chasing the Pain" case
- Acupuncturist gives his view of EFT and Classical Chinese Medical Aspects
- Thoughts on EFT and Intention
- EFT methods for "Smokers Lung" that apply to most chronic conditions
- Can EFT fix a computer?
- Feeling woosy from Alcohol
- Erica gets a complete overhaul through EFT
- A common sense procedure for getting EFT results
- A Useful Series on Borrowiing Benefits
- EFT methods: Questions, One-Point-EFT and Mental EFT
- Tapping via typing--email sessions
- The Vibration of Abundance
- EFT helps with repulsed feelings about unwanted advances
- 3 Items and some Holiday advice
- Phobia relief on TV in the UK
- EFT appears favorably in a German TV sitcom
- Gwyneth Moss discusses Support for Therapists
- Collapsing a lifelong belief that her mother had tried to harm her in the womb
- How do you do EFT to fit a time slot?
- Clearing clutter for clarity and confidence
- "God Tapping"
- Loving your feminine body
- Having trouble "letting go" in the bedroom
- Getting EFT Blocks and Barriers out of the way - a list of questions
- EFT fixes car to pass inspection
- Ted Robinson's tips for doing Borrowing Benefits groups
- Visualizing and tapping on limiting beliefs
- Ann Adams on getting EFT accepted by Institutions
- Eliminating shingles pain in 1/2 hour
- Why People Sometimes Have Negative Feelings After Doing EFT
- Tapping while traveling can improve your mood
- EFT calms elderly woman
- For the skeptics--Is EFT a placebo?
- Marie's "molestation secret"
- Persistent EFT helps with unnecessary worry and a feeling of always being responsible -- many side issues collapse as well
- A very useful method for getting to important issues
- EFT for an aversion to stuff that disgusts you
- Karen helped her father recover the use of his fingers after a stroke
- EFT for feeling overly responsible
- Tell your friends, there is, at last, a cure for the common cold!
- Positively adjusting the perceptions of others with EFT
- A clever combo of EFT and Essences
- Paralysis finally overcome after everything else failed
- An important case on aspects--Martin's learning challenge
- EFT relieves "incurable" Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)
- How a physician uses EFT
- EFT for Boredom and Loneliness
- Low Libido is not always as simple as it appears
- Facial paralysis clears in one
- EFT for the complexities of a single, dating life
- Dawson Church successfully applies EFT for his episode of gout
- Persistent, quality EFT adds 5 inches to Gillian's bust line
- Taking EFT into the Corporate Market
- Did EFT keep Wayne from getting more grey hair?
- Expanding Your Comfort Zones: The key to your success
- Ten minutes of EFT restores healthy performance in the bedroom - eliminates the need for the little blue pill
- Resolving nightmares...and more
- Aiming EFT at the FUTURE
- A journey through an important piece of our "newthink."
- Addressing the "Why Bother?" syndrome
- Creating a happy future
- How to have a happy day
- An experiment on how EFT statements affect our bodies
- Three possible reframes for people struggling with sadness
- Did Erika
- Tap while listening to music that makes you cry
- EFT helps calm an autistic boy after he accidentally hurt his mother
- Untangling two events with EFT leads to business freedom
- Louise's skeptical dad warmed up to EFT
- Tapping for the United Nations
- Daily EFT creates calm under explosive family circumstances
- EFT assists conception
- Using Role Playing With EFT
- MD uses EFT for a demented woman
- Gayle Waxon learns to stop her own epileptic seizures with EFT
- Does language matter when doing EFT?
- Using the term "somehow..." within the EFT process
- Blending EFT with Homeopathy
- A quality look at "The Apex Effect"
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Tap and be rich
- EFT helps relieve blushing
- Quickie pain relief--A "one point wonder".
- Helping mother and her unborn baby with EFT
- Reiki Master uses EFT in the Republic of Mauritius
- Creating a remarkable bridge to our former history
- Here's a textbook EFT case for using persistence, reframes, chasing the pain, metaphors and creative language
- Carol Look Shows us How to Release Procrastination with EFT
- Helpful hints for the Holidays.
- EFT and visible changes in physical appearance
- EFT assists young boy in taking his Ringworm medicine
- EFT works for cellulitis on 3 separate occasions
- Connecting to our Birthright of Fertility
- How to tap into the
- Tapping for being "able, willing and worthy" may help boost EFT results
- Creating positive affirmations with EFT and your senses
- EFT for painful menopause symptoms
- An interesting EFT approach for getting beyond "glass ceilings"
- EFT using teddy bears
- Victoria's 10-day EFT blood pressure experiment results
- EFT and The Law of Attraction - A Perfect Match
- Tapping with tunes
- Do you have emotional difficulty with the standard EFT phrasing?
- Jewels in the junkyard--the prison population
- EFT improves a mentally disabled young man
- Can You Do EFT With Eyes Closed?
- Not finding the right words for EFT is a block that can be overcome
- High blood pressure recedes - and remains normal a week later
- Deborah Miller beautifully reframes an assault issue into a new personal identity
- The many benefits of EFT circles--and how to do them
- Why does tapping on the side of the hand work?
- EFT for a numb face and tongue - instant relief for a skeptic
- Suzanne Zacharia finds the root causes of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS)
- EFT to help heal fruit trees - a major new business waiting to happen?
- Mental Dental EFT - for the dentist and the patient
- Sneaking Up On The Problem When You Do EFT
- EFT enhances many things
- EFT for bladder control when on the road
- Silent Night Sadness -- when certain music gives you the blues
- Mary Pellicer, MD, on Intuitive Diagnosis
- EFT provides instant relief for Poison Ivy itching
- Quieting down an elderly stroke victim in a nursing home
- Three Keys to EFT Mastery
- Painful mastitis clears after EFT
- How to get non-profit organizations to host EFT group meetings--and pay you as well
- A creative approach to psychological reversal
- EFT as a morning eye-opener
- EFT for night time trips to the bathroom--including follow-up
- EFT for resistance to doing EFT
- "I have to lie constantly to live my life as I know it"
- Further bridges to our history
- Stress and Me and EFT
- Gratitude and Coach Ben Hammerschmidt
- EFT and Nightmares
- A successful use of EFT for Hasimoto
- Five extreme behavior patterns related to organizing and how to address them with EFT
- Your Vibration Always Comes First
- EFT and future pacing
- EFT for people who are sensitive
- EFT for painful cramping
- WHO AM I NOW??? How Identity Issues Block Abundance
- Kelly Meisak uses a unique approach for her ADD prone brother
- This lady had not been out of her house for two years because she suffered from chronic burping
- Katie's posture and her many emotional issues
- When conflicting beliefs keep us stuck
- Rehana Webster teaches the details behind a successful blushing case
- Resentment gets in the way of abundance
- Changing a man's life with EFT--including pain, emotions and bedroom romance
- EFT in the snow -- creating comfort in the cold
- Stopping the flu in its early stages
- "How do I get really good at EFT?"
- Relief for Bashful Bladder
- When Positive is Negative - Accepting Your Light
- Tapping through a beginning seizure
- Teresa Knezek treats her own Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- including a 3 year followup
- Raising your metabolism with EFT
- When EFT gives only temporary results
- An at risk coronary patient has normal arteries and flawless angiogram after persistent EFT for two months
- Tapping while responding to a nasty comment from the past
- EFT for looking forward instead of backwards
- How Do You Know You Are Benefiting From EFT Much As You Can?
- EFT and the taming of the tongue
- Gwyneth Moss on The Importance of Rehearsal in an EFT session
- How do you feel ABOUT your body having pain?
- Was this a negative reaction to EFT?
- Many benefits from tapping on a prayer
- Future tapping to get what you want
- How to get EFT into Schools
- EFT collapses seasickness and Rosa becomes the life of the party
- What is your body trying to tell you?
- An extraordinary example of the real power of EFT's Borrowing Benefits procedure -- a bridge phobia disappears "behind the scenes"
- EFT for past life issues
- EFT for Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and a host of other issues
- Prenatal EFT improves hemoglobin count with before and after test
- Getting to the real reason behind Janet's "bedroom inhibitions"
- Tapping on gratitude for EFT
- After EFT, Kay
- A procedure for dealing with the resistance to heal
- To Lead or Not to Lead...
- Looking waaay in the past for the cause of a physical symptom
- Overcoming a lifelong fruit revulsion and some side benefits
- One person
- EFT is effective despite language barriers
- Shingle symptoms gone in just two EFT sessions
- Two examples where working on one issue provides relief for another
- Important EFT topic: Doing the best we can
- Useful thoughts on integrating EFT within the military
- Eckhart Tolle
- Daily uses of EFT with A Course in Miracles (ACIM)
- EFT for helping a mother bond with her child
- How EFT unclogged my toilet
- The Inner Committee
- Can we affect inanimate objects better with EFT? - Rebecca's engine light
- A humorous reply to an EFT skeptic
- EFT enhances math scores
- Praise for EFT from a Buddhist Monk
- EFT calms an autistic boy in school
- Cognitive Shifts (Belief Changes) That Work
- EFT: The Gift to Unwrap and Use before the Holidays!
- Another successful hiccoughs (hiccups) case
- Did EFT help relieve menopause symptoms?
- EFT for addressing what happened in your day -- use it daily for solid long term benefits
- EFT for economic stress -- using "I prefer peace"
- A Psychologist in India uses EFT for suicide intervention
- Demonstrating EFT to a mental health support team
- How to remember your dreams with EFT
- New Uses for EFT
- EFT helps alleviate several issues associated with infidelity
- Using Galvanic Skin Response to validate EFT
- NLP procedures enhance anyone's delivery of EFT
- "Helpless to get what I want" - Using intuition to get at important issues
- MD writes article on Emotions, Energy, and Healing
- Tapping on "what didn
- An aneurism left a man's hand shaking, unable to write for 12 years.
- How to use EFT with your dreams to collapse important emotional issues
- Resolving two bothersome tics with EFT
- Saying "goodbye" with the
- Food stuck in the throat goes down easily after EFT
- In Praise of Continual Tapping
- Scientific evolution of EFT from TFT
- Does EFT compete with God?
- How to Get Into Businesses and Organizations By Getting Welcomed Through the Back Door
- EFT on the move -- for busy people
- EFT for Speech Loss following a Stroke
- Discovering the cause of humming in the ears
- EFT's Borrowing Benefits collapses 36 issues in 2.5 hours
- Problems that are difficult to assess in the here and now. (Several responses follow)
- A tapping tip to lighten the load
- Borrowing Benefits gets impressive results on TV
- Re-evaluating the Apex problem
- Handling vertigo symptoms over the phone
- Being Specific
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Articles & Ideas
Blending NLP with EFT
Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. Best wishes, Gary
I have high regard for NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and its valuable offerings for therapy and communications. It is particularly useful when blended with EFT. Fortunately, we have Don Blackerby among us who has advanced skills in both methods. Listen in as he gives us important details about the all-important rapport process.
Part 1 of 3
Rapport - the art of getting somebody to WANT to listen to what you have to say because they believe it is credible and important to them. This is something that is so basic to quality communication that we tend to overlook it sometimes. Gary Craig, in his EFT workshops, constantly is reminding us to get rapport first - before we do any EFT tapping or any other therapeutic work.
But what is rapport? (My definition is above, in the first sentence). And, how do we get it? How do we maintain it? And, if we lose it (which we will sometimes), how do we get it back?
In my experience, just telling somebody to get rapport is not enough. It is a skill, easily learned and worth taking the time to do so. In the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), we specialize in the HOW of doing things. And, one of the early skill developments of NLP was in the skill and art of getting rapport. What follows are some exercises designed to instill in you that skill. These skills are not the only way to get rapport, but something that is basic and easily and quickly learned.
I have started with auditory rapport since it is easily used over the telephone and/or in person. Since so many of us in EFT use phone consulting it would seem to give us the best return in the shortest amount of time.
Getting Rapport With Your Voice
How do you build rapport with your voice? This is just one more communication technique which can be used by anyone whether with children, business colleagues, clients, customers, friends or enemies. Auditory rapport is particularly useful for those who use the telephone. One of the major principles of communication is the notion that you will be able to get your message across to another person if you have rapport with him or her. Here we will explore some ways to quickly get rapport with anyone by matching their voice, regardless if they are in front of you or on the telephone.
You do this by incorporating the mirroring of their voice patterns into your conversation. Of course all of these mirroring techniques should be done gracefully and smoothly and built into your natural response to the other person. If you are obvious and awkward, you may lose rapport.
Some of the more important voice patterns you can mirror are as follows:
Tempo: How fast or slow are they talking? This is very important. There are individuals who very carefully and slowly pick their words and there are individuals who can talk very rapidly. For the most part they do not trust each other, or have rapport. One of them has to adjust the tempo of their own voice if quality communication even has a chance.
Pitch: How high or low are they talking? Obviously, if a soprano is talking to a bass, they cannot match each other exactly. But, if you will move up or down in your pitch range to a level that is comfortable and toward the other person’s pitch, it will positively affect rapport.
Timbre: Do they have a special or unique quality in their voice that is connected to an internal state - like playfulness, seriousness, excitement, sexy, childlike, committed, etc? You will want to change your voice to mirror this very gradually if their timbre is very different then yours. Examples of when this is useful are when you are talking to a child, or when the other person has a playful quality in his voice, or the opposite - when he or she is very somber or serious; at that moment you don’t want to sound playful.
Projection: How forceful are they talking? This can be thought of as the speed and volume of air they are expelling when they talk. If they are forceful, you need to mirror that in your verbal response to them. If they are soft spoken, you mirror that quality.
Breathing: Are they breathing in the top of the chest, mid-chest, or lower chest? Also, how fast are they breathing? Are they breathing in short, rapid breaths? Or, do they have even and moderated breathing? Or, do they take deep breaths and slowly exhale while they talk? Whichever of these they do, you mirror or match it. If you can breathe as they breathe, you can also more easily match their tempo and force of voice.
Rhythm: Is there a beat or cadence in their voice? Do they have pauses or is it an even monotone? Where in the sentences do they breathe and does the breath come in a regular or irregular rhythm? Whatever their rhythm, you mirror it as best as you can.
Emphasis: What words do they hit hard or hang on to? Which words do they d-r-a-w out or SAY FORCEFULLY. Whichever words they do this with, you mirror them in your response by using the same words with the same kinds of emphasis.
Modal Operators: Which of the following types of words do they use?
Necessity: need, must, got to, should, have to, will (or the negative as in: must not, should not, will not, etc.)
Possibility: want to, choose, able, can, ability (or the negative as in: don't want, cannot, not able to, etc.)
Contingency: wish, might, maybe, would, could, try, perhaps, might not, would not, etc.
As before, choose the same modal operators they choose and incorporate them in your response.
Sensory Based Words: These are equally important auditory words to match or mirror. More discussion and specific exercises on this will follow later.
EXERCISE FOR MATCHING VOICE PATTERNS
In groups of three, designate each person as role A, B or C. On a flipchart, chalkboard or piece of paper, list the voice patterns of: tempo, pitch, timbre, projection, and emphasis.
Role A: Read or say the following statement “It is finally, a very beautiful day today.” varying the voice patterns of the statement under the direction of (B) as described below.
NOTE: The content of the statement is not important. So, if after awhile, the group tires of the above statement, make up another one. Just keep it fairly short.
Role B. Secretly direct (A) to make the statement but have them vary it according to pairs of voice patterns. For example, have them first say it as natural as they can; then you might have them speed it up and raise the pitch; then you might have them say it softly and with a sexy tone; then have them say it with a low voice but forcefully emphasize the words very and today, etc. Do about 6-8 variations of voice patterns for each person.
Role C. Immediately after (A) produces a statement, (C) is to imitate it as perfectly as possible while paying close attention to exactly matching the voice pattern that (A) has just stated. Role B is the referee and can have (C) adjust the voice pattern response until it is exact.
Rotate Roles A, B and C until all three persons have played all three roles.
ADVANCED EXERCISE FOR MATCHING VOICE PATTERNS
Repeat the above exercise, except:
1. each time create a new statement with new content and have the statement be 2-4 sentences long.
2. add the voice patterns of rhythm, modal operators and rhythm.
One of the variations of either of these exercises is that you can do it with two other people over the telephone in a conference call. Just be sure and have Role C cover up the phone speaker when (B) is giving instructions to (A).
GETTING RAPPORT WITH SENSORY BASED LANGUAGE
Another way to get rapport auditorially is to match the way they process information. When we think, we process our experiences and information in one or more of our senses. We can visually process by making pictures in our head. We can auditorially process by talking to ourselves and internally repeating conversations or other sounds. We can kinesthetically process by accessing emotions or body sensations.
If a person is visually processing, it will help communication if you will help him paint a picture in his mind. It will also help if you will use sensory based words that are visual in nature.
Examples of the many visual words are: see, look, picture, clear, vision, light, shine, reveal, image, view, appear, show, watch, focus, etc. One of the ways you will know which words to use is by listening to the visual words he uses. You simply match his visual words in your response. Visual processors like to view demonstrations or see things drawn out. They may not like to do phone consulting because they can’t “see” what you are saying.
If a person is auditorially processing, you will hear him use auditory words such as: hear, say, talk, discuss, praise, call, noise, argue, quiet, speak, listen, tone, sound, etc. These are just a few of the many choices of auditory words. To strengthen rapport, you simply match his auditory words in your response. Auditory processors like to dialogue and talk things out and tend to repeat things.
Kinesthetic processors use words such as: feel, tough, solid, unbalanced, warm, rough, tension, connect, smooth, firm, twist, touch, soft, etc - to name just a few. Again, you simply match the types of words he uses in order to gain rapport. Kinesthetic processors like to have “hands on” experiences or “have feelings” about what you are talking about.
EXERCISE FOR MATCHING SENSORY BASED WORDS
In pairs, read the following sentences to each other and have the second person identify if the sentence is visual, auditory or kinesthetic. One of you read the odd numbered sentences and the then the other person read the even numbered.
__1. “Is that a cry for help?”
__2. “Look here, is this vivid enough?”
__3. “Hey, have you heard the latest?”
__4. “Get this situation, will you?”
__5. “What are you trying to show me?”
__6. “Can you describe it more clearly?”
__7. “Did that news rip you apart or didn’t it?”
__8. “Can you tell me more?”
__9. “Are you in touch with what you’re doing?”
__10. “Did her statement ring true to you?”
__11. “How do you see this situation?”
__12. “What was the scene like?”
__13. “She really is a drag, isn’t she?”
__14. “Listen, what’s the yapping about?”
__15. “Why don’t you take a good look at yourself?”
__16. “Can I bounce this off you?”
__17. “Does what I said sound right to you?”
__18. “Did you get a good handle on this problem?”
__19. “How can I give you a firm grasp on this?”
__20. “Just what are you trying to tell me?”
SECOND EXERCISE FOR SENSORY BASED WORDS
Now read the sentence and the other person respond logically to the content of the sentence but yet with the appropriate sensory based words. For example, appropriate responses to 1 and 2 above would be:
- “Is that a cry for help?” --- “I didn’t hear anything.”
- “Look here, is this vivid enough?” --- “I can see it very well.”
If you are with the same person from the first exercise you just did, change the sentences that you read. For example, if you read the odd numbered sentences before, this time read the even numbered.
ADVANCED EXERCISE FOR AUDITORY RAPPORT
In threes: First person is the question asker, second person is the responder and the third person is the judge or referee.
Overall directions - First person will ask the second person THREE questions about a general area of their life (eg, job, hobbies, family, where they grew up, etc) EXCEPT the first question will have a visual quality (“Describe what your family looks like.”), the second question an auditory quality (eg, “What are the sounds of your home?”, and the third question a kinesthetic quality (eg, “Describe the body sensations of your favorite chair.”)
The second person will answer each question only in the appropriate sensory based modality for 15-30 seconds. Person three will referee.
All of these mirroring techniques should be done smoothly and elegantly AND while responding to their conversation. You can do it while you ask a question or while you are commenting on what they just said. After you have practiced these new skills and have become smooth in their use, you will notice a different response in the people around you. You may even notice a different response in yourself to the people around you.
Don Blackerby, PhD
Part 2 of 3 - How to get rapport with your body
Continuing on with the series on getting rapport with anyone, in the last article we covered how to use your voice to get rapport, which is very useful in telephone consulting. If you will recall, we covered how to match or mimic such voice qualities as: tempo, pitch, timbre, and sensory based words, just to name a few. Since these are articles are meant to teach rapport, experiential exercises were included and will be included below.
We now want to concentrate on any personal encounters you might have. In this article we will focus on matching body behaviors. Again, it is very important that you do this matching smoothly, gracefully and as unobtrusively as possible. They should come across as VERY natural to the other person. If you need to shift or change behaviors, it is best to wait for a natural interruption before shifting to match the new behavior.
One word of caution: This IS acting. That is, your outward behavior can be different from your internal self. If you only behave or act according to how you feel, you will only get rapport with those who feel exactly like you and miss getting rapport with all those other people.
Facial Expression: There are people with stoic faces and people with very animated faces - and everywhere in between. People will move their eyebrows, smile, frown, move their head, etc, as they talk - or not. Your task is to mimic or mirror their facial expression as closely as possible. As an example, if they are stoic, you will want to be stoic - even though that is “not you” and may make you uncomfortable.
Eye Contact: There is a myth which says that you must maintain constant eye contact with other people. With some people, however, this type of eye contact is disturbing and unsettling. So, how do you know what to do? You mirror the type of eye contact the other person gives you. If they hold eye contact for long periods of time, so do you. If they look away periodically, you look away periodically AND you look in the same direction for the same duration of time and with the same tempo.
Arm Position: If they fold their arms, you fold your arms the same way. If they lean on one arm on a table, you lean on one arm on the table - if you can. You should be a mirror image of them.
Body Lean: If they lean forward, you lean forward. If they lean back in the chair, you lean back. The same with leaning left or right. Again, you lean to be the mirror image of them.
Leg Position: Notice how their legs are crossed or if they are not crossed. If they cross their legs at the ankle, you cross your legs at the ankle. If they cross their legs at the knee, you cross your legs at the knee, etc. One word of caution for ladies; if you are wearing a short skirt and you are mirroring a man, you may not want to mirror his leg position - just skip this one.
Gestures: The type and tempo of gestures are very important to mirror. If they have choppy gestures, you RESPOND with the same type of choppy gestures. Other types of gestures you will want to notice and mirror are: powerful, smooth, flowing, artful or graphic, or no gestures. Be sure to notice and mirror any movement of the feet or legs. Note: if the gesture is gender related (like a feminine tossing of the hair) and you are with a person of the opposite gender, skip the gesture.
Height: As much as possible, do not stand over somebody sitting or standing close to you. This is especially important with children. Get down to their eye level even if it means getting down on one knee. Also with people sitting in chairs, like wheelchairs, do not stand close and loom over them while they remain seated. Lean over or somehow get down to their eye level.
FIRST EXERCISE—In threes, in roles A, B, and C.
Role A: Speak for about 2 minutes about something that has happened in your life. A description of a part of your workday, for example. Or, what you did last weekend, or on your birthday, etc. While you are describing this event, change each of the above behaviors at least two times. You may do several of them at the same time. For example, you might simultaneously gesture a certain way, while leaning backwards, and with your legs crossed - then after doing this for 15 seconds or so, change while continuing your story.
Role B: As closely as possible, mimic each of Role A’s behaviours. When Role A changes, Role B is to change to match. (IMPORTANT: this is not rapport yet - it is simply learning to pay attention to the other person’s behaviors and matching them. Rapport comes in the next exercise)
Role C: You are the coach. You (1) coach Role A on which movements and changes to make (if they do not do it often enough and naturally) and (2) coach Role B on matching Role A (if they forget to change).
Rotate Roles until all three have performed Roles A, B, and C.
SECOND EXERCISE—in threes, roles A, B and C.
Same exercise as above, except this time, Role B only shifts body naturally. In other words, wait for pause in conversation; or, ask a question or make a comment to create a pause in order to make the shift naturally.
Role A:Same as FIRST exercise.
Role B and C. Role B will mimic A’s body shifts (as you did in SECOND EXERCISE above) and Role C will totally mis-match. For example, if role A leans back, Role C leans forward. If Role A has animated facial expression, Role C is stoic, etc. At the end of two minutes, brainstorm and talk about the different experiences. Notice which Role was the easiest to maintain rapport with and what your response was to the mis-matcher.
The third exercise is a good exercise to convince people that matching behavior is a nice and easy way to establish rapport. If you add the auditory or voice qualities to the exercise, it becomes even more powerful. The dialogue and discussion that comes after this exercise is always entertaining and enlightening.
Part 3 of 3 - More rapport cues
n a previous article, we talked about how the nature of internal processing was revealed by the types of words that were used. These words were identified as Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic. It was suggested that if you would match the other person’s choice of internal processing words (sometimes called sensory words) that you could help to achieve even better rapport with them.
It was noted that this facet of auditory rapport is VERY effective over the telephone. The choices of matching words, along with matching tone, pitch, timbre, tempo, etc makes a consultant very effective at rapport, especially when doing telephone consulting.
Another way to determine how others are processing information and experience is to watch their eye accessing cues. Their accessing cues are revealed by the way they move their eyes to get information from their brain.
Brain tests have indicated that when the eyes move to the various eye accessing locations, blood flows to different parts of the brain. This seems to indicate that the different parts of the brain and the different kinds of information accessing cues may be neurologically connected. When they look, with unfocused eyes, to one of the six locations as indicated in the figure below, they will be accessing visually, auditorially, or kinesthetically as indicated.
Imagine in the figure below that it is a person looking AT YOU. So, establish ahead of time where their left and right sides are.
When you see them look UP TO THEIR LEFT OR RIGHT, they are accessing visual information. You can use visual words to match their eye accessing cues.
When they look STRAIGHT TO THEIR LEFT OR RIGHT, OR DOWN TO THEIR LEFT, they are accessing auditorially. You can use auditory words in your response to them.
If they look DOWN TO THEIR RIGHT, they are accessing kinesthetically. You can use kinesthetic words to match them. There are some additional more specific distinctions that can be learned later - but for now, let’s keep it simple.
This pattern of eye accessing is true for a large percentage of the population. Left handed individuals will sometimes reverse the pattern from left to right. People with mixed dominance may have their own unique eye accessing pattern. You can ask them specially designed questions to determine their unique patterns.
The most important point of this article is to add to the knowledge we have covered previously regarding their choice of sensory words. As covered previously, when they are primarily using visual, auditory or kinesthetic words, match those words. Noticing where the eyes are moving to access their specific information in their responses to you and responding accordingly, just adds to your effectiveness and rapport.
FIRST EYE ACCESSING EXERCISE
First phase - each person hold the eye accessing figure up to eye level and stare at it for about 15 to 30 seconds and visually remember the words at the end of each of the 6 lines.
Second phase - both lay the paper down out of sight; first person looks at the face of the second person while over laying the information the paper. When the second person moves their eyes to one of the 6 eye accessing locations, the first person vocally identifies if their eyes are in the visual, auditory or kinesthetic position.
The second person then moves their eyes to another eye accessing location until it is identified. Repeat several times through all six of the eye accessing locations. Rotate roles.
SECOND EYE ACCESSING EXERCISE
First person asks the second person a series of questions according to the following instructions and notices where the second person accesses with his or her eyes to retrieve the answer.
- First person asks the second person at least 4 questions that require a visual image to provide an answer. (examples of visual questions, “What was the color of your first grade teacher’s eyes?” or “Describe in detail the front of your house or the building you live in?”)
- Repeat with at least 4 auditory questions. (e.g., “Hum the tune of ______?” or, “What is the sound of your car engine starting? Imitate it.”)
- Repeat with at least 4 kinesthetic questions. (e.g., “Which of your arms feels the lightest right now?” or “Describe in detail the texture of a piece of clothing you are wearing?”)
Discuss the movement of the eyes that were noticed. (Huge hint: Sometimes the most natural movement of the eyes occurs by watching the questioner think up the questions or by observing the second person AFTER they have answered the question. What are they checking for or thinking about and where do their eyes go to check?) Rotate roles.
The previous exercise is using “directed questions” which is useful when you are practicing or trying to determine the other person’s unique eye accessing patterns. Most of your consulting and communicating with another person will be “undirected.” That is, you will ask them more general questions and WANT to determine how they process the answers.
For example, the question “Do you understand?” does not presuppose that they will get a picture, talk to themselves, or have a body sensation or emotion to answer the question - but it would be helpful to how you respond if you knew which it was. So, you ask the general question and watch their eyes and listen to their choice of words to determine if they are processing visually, auditorially or kinesthetically - and then you respond accordingly.
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