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Articles & Ideas


How to use EFT when the client won't reveal the issue

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Amit Singh from India shows us how to help with an issue that is so private, traumatic and painful that the client won't discuss it. Amit says, I asked if she wanted to resolve this issue and she said it's too painful and didn’t want to go through it again. I asked, “What if you could do so without having to go through the pain?” "Oh I would love that, she said..."

Hugs, Gary

By Amit Singh

Dear Gary,

This one turned out to be a sweet surprise for two reasons:  1) My client learned to be empathetic without my having to teach her; 2) She released on a rape trauma without my getting to know of it during session. Working in the dark, without specifics was a new experience for me and am delighted at the outcome.

"Anita" is a very driven, blunt and even aggressive personality who was being coached by me. She wanted to learn to be more empathetic and says, “My team is scared to interact with me and I want them to be at ease and joyful around me.”

During our coaching I related some observations to her and, upon hearing them, she broke down. I asked if she wanted to resolve this issue and she said it's too painful and didn’t want to go through it again. I asked, “What if you could do so without having to go through the pain?” Oh I would love that, she said, and scheduled to come see me.

When she came, I found her to be fencing the issue. “My issue is too personal and I am not prepared to share it with you,” she said.

I asked her if she wanted to try it if she didn’t have to tell me anything specific. She was surprised if it would work at all this way.  I asked her how she felt about her issue, even to think about it. She said she felt guilt and anger at an intensity of 7 on a scale of 0 to 10.

I asked her to rub the sore spot and as soon as she started to rub, she said it was very sore.  I said the setup statement: Even though I feel this deep guilt and anger, I still deeply and completely accept myself.

She seemed to react to the acceptance part of the statement. I could see she had never seen it that way and seemed relieved to say it. I intuited that acceptance is an important challenge for her.

We said it thrice, and she tapped all over.  It came down to a 0 out of 10 pretty quickly.  She said there was also shame associated with this issue.  At this time, we tapped on her shame which seemed like a big emotion for her.

When we paused after a couple of rounds of random tapping on the sequence points (I rarely use the 9-gamut), she said she had once aborted a child. I asked her how she felt when she said those words. Sure enough, her guilt and shame went up to a 5.  She said she was holding herself responsible and could not forgive herself for having aborted a baby.

We tapped on it further incorporating all this in the key phrases when tapping on the 9 basic points. I like tapping on the Crown of the head and spleen point a lot.

About 30 minutes or so into the session, she said she was feeling very good, and could not bring up any guilt, shame or anger.  We closed the session. She sent me a text message later to say that she was feeling very light and joyful.

Two days later, she called me to say, "I want to tell you something that my own family, including my husband and my parents do not know still.  I was raped when I was 13 years old and I have carried that anger and guilt within me for over 35 years. I could never bring this up with anyone and you are the first person to know about it.  I can’t believe I am even saying this out loud, I have never had the strength."

I asked about her feelings on that and she said some of the shame and guilt are still there and I encouraged her to tap it out, which she did.

Follow-up: Many months later, she told me she was going into an event where she may bump into the man who had committed this act. He was now a well known man in the corporate world.  How did she feel at this time towards him? She said I am ok, I can face him.

Again, I encouraged her to tap it out completely even though she said she was over it almost 90 percent. She now uses EFT often and has gotten stunning success with it. For example, once a year she would get these killing back pains that would require emergency treatment, sometimes in the middle of the night.

Recently they recurred twice. And this time she tapped. And on both occasions within minutes, she didn’t know when she fell asleep. No hospital visit was needed.

She called me to share and was very excited. “Do you realize what this means,” she asked. “I have had an arrangement where one of the best doctors of the country who is on standby for me when this would occur. I don't need to call him anymore!” She seemed stunned as well as delighted.

Anita was also opening new doors of empathy as well. Text messaging me once, she said she recently met an old friend and had tears in her eyes. “I have never cried like this. EFT continues to weave magic,” she said reverentially.

Three Cheers for EFT !!

Amit Singh


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.