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Articles & Ideas


The "Gratitude for My Mistakes" method

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,Bonnie Weisberg gives us the details of her method for getting to core issues. Because of its potential power she gives some cautionary words and then says, "This process brings what is unconscious or subconscious into the conscious, where you can deal with it by applying EFT. "

Hugs, Gary

By Bonnie Weisberg 

Thanking Myself for Mistakes? Sound Simple? Think Again!

A word of caution: This treatment is sure to bring up resistance. This resistance may show up as anger, even outrage, at the mere thought that thanking yourself for things like having an affair, injuring your child, or causing a fatal car crash (all very real factors with my previous clients). In fact, thanking yourself for these mistakes may seem ludicrous. And I would like to add that this treatment plan is not a justification for misguided behaviors. It is simply a way for you to release subconscious, stagnant emotions that are keeping you at a lower emotional vibration. This process brings what is unconscious or subconscious into the conscious, where you can deal with it by applying EFT. 

For Practitioners: Please use good judgment when applying this practice. In fact, Gratitude for My Mistakes is meant for clients that have met with you for a minimum of five to six sessions and have been using EFT successfully on their issues. For example, using this treatment for clients in Post Traumatic Stress is unethical. Ideally, this treatment is used for clientele whom have already done considerable personal work, but still experience pervasive, underlying depression or vague feelings of anxiety.

Before beginning this process, prepare your space by minimizing distractions. Shut off your phone, put a “do not disturb” sign on your door, and set aside time for this treatment.

I started off with something small to test out this gratitude treatment plan.

I tapped my karate chop point while stating:

Even though I missed my turn and took a detour that made me late, I choose to thank myself for that mistake.

Even though I wasn’t paying attention and made myself late for that important meeting, I choose to thank myself for that mistake.

Even though I missed my turn and made myself late again, I choose thank myself for allowing room for mistakes.

EB- Uhggg, I missed my turn.

SE- I hate when I don’t pay attention.

UE- Now I’m going to be late, great!

CH- I guess, I can forgive myself for making a mistake.

CB- What if that wrong turn saved my life?

UA- I can thank myself for making this mistake.

TH- Thank you, Self, for allowing room for mistakes.

 I then moved to a situation that was extremely difficult. Sixteen years ago, my baby brother, J.J. died of cancer. I was 20 at the time, and as you can imagine, I was completely devastated and traumatized by his passing. In efforts to deal with my grief, I chose to completely distance myself from my parents.  In fact, I was downright horrible to them (or so I felt). There is far too much involved with this 16 year journey to recap here. But for the purpose of this article, I would like to recount my experience using this Gratitude for My Mistakes treatment.  I want to point out that I had done 16 years-worth of self-forgiveness, EMDR, EFT, visual guided imagery, meditation, seminars, and numerous spiritual retreats to overcome this loss. I really didn’t think that there was too much more for me to process with this. But since it was on my list, I decided to give it a shot.

I began at the karate chop point:

Even though, I was so insensitive to Mom and Dad…. (this is as far as I got. I was suddenly beside myself with guilt and refused to thank myself for my behavior.) I was bawling. I knew I had forgiven myself, but I certainly could not thank myself for not being there for my parents!

I tried again. Through my sobs, I managed to voice the following…

Even though, I was so insensitive to you, Mom and Dad, and I just can’t thank myself for this, I still love and accept myself. (3X)

I then tapped as follows:

EB: Sorry Mom….

SE: Sorry Dad…

UE: I’m sorry…

UN: I wish I could have been there for you…

CH: But I couldn’t even be there for myself…

CB: I must have needed that time…

UA: Maybe this was just meant to be…

TH: Maybe I can be open to thanking myself for this… 

This brought about significant relief. In addition, I realized that, at that time, my parents really needed to reach out to proper therapeutic interventions, and not come to me for emotional support; simply an old pattern that needed redirection.

I was then able to tap as follows:

KC: Even though, I was so insensitive to you, Mom and Dad, I choose to recognize the value in my retreat.

Even though I was so insensitive to Mom and Dad, I choose to thank myself for attempting to set emotional boundaries.

Even though I didn’t know any other way, I can now thank myself for this mistake…

I then tapped as follows:

EB: I could have been more sensitive…

SE: I’m learning how to support myself and others…

UE: Maybe I can thank myself for my attempts at processing this tragedy…

UN: No I can’t…

CH: I’m willing to try to thank myself…

CB: I must have needed that time…

UA: Thank you, Self, for giving me the time and space I needed…

TH: Thank you…

Upon finishing this round of tapping, my tears were changing from regret to gratitude. I could suddenly recognize all the benefits of refusing to triangulate with my parents and leaving them with each other to work it out. I am happy to report that their marriage is stronger than ever, and, in fact, my mother is within months of graduating with her Masters in counseling! I hadn’t put this together before now!

I tapped as follows:

EB: I thank myself for following my gut at that time

SE: I’m thankful for my parents being able to find their own path…

UE: Everything is working out for our highest good…

UN: I can love and support others without enabling them…

CH: Thank you, self!

CB: Thank you, self, for this perceived mistake of being insensitive to Mom and Dad…

UA: I thank my soul for walking down this path of choices so I could learn this valuable life lesson. I can now live my life more joyously.

 TH: Thank you…Thank you…Thank ME!

Using this process of Gratitude for My Mistakes immediately makes room for resolving hidden resistance to creating a bright future. I now use Gratitude for My Mistakes with almost every client I see, with profound results! Usually, after the client has experienced relief from the issues at hand (down to a three or less) I like to progress through several rounds of Gratitude for My Mistakes. Without exception, the client will go into resistance when I mention thanking themselves for past mistakes. I often hear, “I can’t thank myself for that!”  From my personal experience, I know this can bring up more material to work with in session. Gratitude for My Mistakes is a marvelous tool for digging up unconscious shame, guilt, and resentment that may still be present, no matter how much forgiveness work has been done in past sessions.

The Gratitude for My Mistakes concept is simple, yet, when applied to my toughest errors, it got tougher than I expected. The deeper I went to thank myself, the more reasons surfaced why I did not deserve any grace, let alone gratitude. This truly is groundbreaking! I can now recognize the value in trial and error. Releasing stagnant emotional memory from my past mistakes paves the way for freedom to ultimately learn from the road I have traveled. This results in being free to create new healthy choices and experiences of love at every turn. (Even a wrong turn.)

Bonnie Weisberg, EFT-Adv, Reiki Master, Blah blah blah… (who cares?)


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.