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Self sabotage-healing the parts that don

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Jaqui Crooks from the UK, and her trainees, have found this concept useful for stubborn issues. It is one of the few articles on our website to deal directly with our "parts."

Hugs, Gary


By Jaqui Crooks, EFT Master

“All problems were once solutions” Milton Erickson.

In many cases, the attempted solution to a problem has become the problem itself. This is the case in any addiction and in other issues such as anxiety, depression, or anger.

The problem exists because a part of your subconscious is holding on to strategies that no longer work. These parts have a positive intention for us, it’s just that the strategy they’ve chosen to achieve that positive intention, is not working.

For example, the subconscious may see us become anxious in a certain situation and then it looks for times when it thinks feeling being anxious might be useful. Soon it will recognise 100’s and maybe 1000’s of triggers that remind it to help you to be anxious, without any conscious thought on your part.

It’s positive intention is to keep you safe by reminding you to look at a situation carefully.  It doesn’t reason whether it’s self appointed task is useful or not, it just does it.

The good news is that the part of you which activates this behaviour will be equally happy to do something more useful for you - if you tell it what you would like it to do! 

It is possible to work with the part that is holding on to this behaviour to create more useful, more effective and more creative strategies to achieve the same positive outcome, without creating the problem. A possible statement could be –

“Even though the part that’s creating this anxiety is working hard for me, I’d like it to understand that what it does, isn’t working. I’d like it to create a safer, healthier and more creative way of fulfilling it’s positive intention. I thank it for it’s help and I deeply and completely love and accept all parts of me.”

Although long, this statement gives an instruction to the subconscious to make safe and healthy changes and also accepts it for what it has done, which collapses the resistance to change. 

It may be possible to find when and where a part was created and then to find it’s purpose in your life.

Often we are holding on to beliefs or patterns of behaviour that we created very early on in our life. When we become aware of them and their purpose it’s possible to reframe using EFT.

“Even though when I was little, dad shouted at me and I thought he didn’t love me, it’s possible that with his background, he didn’t know how else to show his love.”

The part may be our inner child, the part of us that was damaged early on, or that took on board other people's beliefs or fears that were given to us, usually with love, to keep us safe. Asking the client to find that little child and ask it what it needs to be healed can allow profound changes. If it needs to be loved and accepted, the EFT statement could be

Even though little Mary doesn’t feel loved and accepted, I choose to give her the love and acceptance she needs!"

Parts can also be used very effectively when your intuition suggests there might be a reason to hold on to the problem but the client may not accept that reason. This can be particularly useful when dealing with secondary gain.

No client can argue if you introduce a statement which says:

Even though part of me may believe that I need to keep this problem, I deeply and completely accept myself, especially that part.

Accepting that part for what it does, will often be enough to allow things to change. It releases the need for resistance.  The part that creates the problem is so used to the client fighting it, that when there’s nothing to fight, it may just let go.

If the client accepts that there is a reason to hold on to the problem, incorporate that reason in your statement. It will usually be a reversals.

“Even though part of me is scared to let this go, because who will I be then? I deeply and completely accept myself.

Or “Even though part of me is scared to let this go, because who will I be then? I choose to be curious and excited about discovering who I am and to be comfortable just being me. It’s all I can be, so I may as well enjoy it! 

Be creative with your statements. Don’t worry about perfection, just do it, if it doesn’t work, do something else instead. Remember –There’s no failure, only feedbackjaqui

Jaqui Crooks, EFT Master

 

 

 

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