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Articles & Ideas


Surrogate EFT for Yourself

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Sometimes it is difficult to see your own issues and thus your EFT results may not be as robust as you might hope. Baerbel Froehlin has devised a method to assist in this regard and calls it "Surrogate EFT for Yourself." In essence, you view yourself "out there" and tap on yourself for the issues you see. Good idea. Many will find it useful.

Hugs, Gary

By Baerbel Froehlin, CHt./HypnoCoach, EFT-ADV

Hi Gary!

Many of the people I meet and work with grew up in a dysfunctional family (including myself).  We have a background of abuse, of alcoholic parents, of constantly having to adjust to our constantly changing environment, hardly ever feeling safe, never really sure of how tomorrow will be.  We were not allowed to show feelings like anger, sadness or the many fears we lived with.

I'm sure you are familiar with "boys don't cry; little girls should be seen and not heard!" That restraint became an imprint in the subconscious mind, a part of our personality which all of us still battle today, at least to some degree.  It means that we cannot easily connect with our emotions, cannot quickly identify what is going on, why we are so upset about something that is happening to us.  There is much anxiety, anger, guilt and resentment that we have to get through first.

It looks like I found a new way to make this process easier.  When a client tells me about the many things that are just not going right for her and I ask her how she feels, she can't actually name her feelings.  Too many "I should have's".  I then ask what she would suggest if this was her best girlfriend talking.  How would she advise her girlfriend about forgiving herself, and how deserving of forgiveness does she believe her girlfriend is?

Always the answer is supportive and positive.  Obviously she feels it’s more okay for others to make mistakes; she doesn't judge them as harshly.  Those feelings will go easily into surrogate EFT for herself; she is able to detach, now looking at the issue that made her feel so anxious in a more neutral way.  Healing will happen faster and more profoundly.

Here is a good example of my client "Judy" doing "Surrogate EFT for Yourself."  She feels she has always struggled to be loved and accepted for who she is.  She describes herself like "...having this huge black hole inside".  I notice there is no peace; she is exhausting herself, her finances are a mess.  She is constantly on the go, hardly a moment for herself.  Because she can't allow herself to face her feelings of not being good enough, she races through life like crazy.

This is just a part of what we worked on with Surrogate EFT for Yourself.  Note that we also used the "What If" version and the "Choices" version, combined with "Surrogate EFT for Yourself".  Not to forget deep breathing after each tapping point.  I asked Judy to watch her girlfriend "Judy" in her mind's eye while tapping on herself. Here's what she did. Note that she is gaining benefits while tapping for "Judy out there." This is what I mean by Surrogate EFT for Yourself.

Look at Judy ... Watch her racing through life

Look at Judy … She completely exhausts herself

Look at Judy ….  She just can't stop … Has to keep busy … Running away from feeling her feelings

Look at Judy …I can feel her pain just by watching her

Look at Judy … She breaks my heart

Look at Judy running … I want to stop her and make her feel safe

At this point tears are beginning to stream.  We go on with:

Even though Judy is not good enough … She deserves to be happy

Even though Judy has no peace … She deserves peace

Even though Judy NEEDS peace … She believes she is not good enough to get peace

What if I could help Judy to feel better?

What if Judy could see that she is doing her best every single day … Again and again

What if Judy finally could believe that she is a great person, a strong woman, loved for who she is?

It's obvious at this point that the client feels new hope, even confidence.

Judy now chooses to forgive herself for not being good enough

Judy now chooses to trust that she is just as good enough as all of us out there … doing the best we can every single day … over and over again

Judy now chooses to start feeling safe enough to get beyond this … Trusting that peace can be just a breath away.

Peace finally moves in, big sighs and smiles, shifts have occurred.  To forgive and accept herself has finally been possible.  I find this method wonderfully efficient for everyone who struggles to identify or accept their feelings.

Peace and Love to all!

Baerbel Froehlin, CHt./HypnoCoach, EFT-ADV


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.